Sporadic word vomit

So long, and thanks for all the fish (no, really)

2009-05-28T01:10:00.004+08:00

The general maxim is to go out on a high and quit when you're ahead. Since now I'm a millionaire, I assume there's never been a better time to bid you adieu.

In case the glaring lack of updates wasn't indication enough, the need to write or rant about things going on in my personal life has came and passed like the Angel of Death during Passover. I continue to talk about my other views on life in my other blogs, but it's safe to say that on the topic of 'me', the case is closed shut. This well has dried up and there's no sign of rainclouds in the sky anytime or anywhere soon.

So, thank you for taking the time to read my rants and incomprehensible infatuation with all things shiny. I would tell you to 'live long and prosper', but I've always been all about the Wars. So, may the force be with you, young padawans.

Until next time.

The lottery ticket: so random

2009-01-29T15:41:00.002+08:00

The lottery ticket: so random
Originally uploaded by nerak.a

In a bid to prove to my family that inflicting meaning into random numbers in order to rationalize buying a lottery ticket is utterly ridiculous and senseless, my brother and I did this thing where we pulled out random cards out of a deck of cards.

The first number is a product of our truly random selection (we just moved the cards around and pulled out two cards each - me first followed by him). The second number is a combination of the days we were born.

In the paper the next day, 3648 came out as a consolation prize number.

There is a lesson to be learned here, me thinks while gloating in a corner.

One, lottery numbers really are random. And two, next time I'm pulling out three cards instead of just two. So there!

Things I Want or "Hello, 2009, look what you can give me since my birthday is in about a month"; Part #3 of 3

2009-01-21T23:59:00.007+08:00

The Important
aka the one where I'll accept with much gratitude and no fuss.

1. Gift certificates for Topshop
I would point out certain things I want from Topshop itself but the list is ever changing and I am a pretty fickle shopper, so a gift certificate, as lame and grandma as it might seem, is actually perfect.

2. ~~Notebooks (of the paper variety)~~ Thanks Small Ad!
They don't even have to be pretty or with fancy coloured paper or smell like grapes. Moleskines would be ideal, but really, any hard covered notebook (so things don't get squished) with not-too-thin paper gets a thumbs up from me. If we're talking spiral notebooks, the shorthand 210 X 127mm would be preferable. If you want to get me a notebook of the portable laptop variety, don't let me stop you there and for your information, red is my favourite colour and those Sony Vaio are looking pretty sweet.

3. Subscription to magazines
- Vanity Fair (USA)
- Interview (USA)
- InStyle (USA)
- Empire (Aus)
- Frankie (Aus)
- The Big Issue (Aus)

~~4. Vanity Fair: The Portraits: A Century of Iconic Images photobook~~ You're way too nice, Nick.
Why, hello there Amazon!.

~~5. That Extra Half an Inch by Victoria Beckham~~ Seriously, Nick.
I C U @ Amazon.
For reals? Oh yeah.

6. Episodes of TV series I want to watch but have yet to download
- ~~Ugly Betty S3~~ I love you Penang, home of the cheap RM4 DVDs for which I'm RM 200 less now.
- Brothers and Sisters S3
- ~~Friday Night Lights S3~~ I <3>The Big Bang Theory S1 Thanks, Nick!
- ~~Breaking Bad~~ I'll have your baby, torrents!
- ~~My Name is Earl S2 and S3~~ See Penang.
- Full series of Malcolm in the Middle
- any other tv series you think I might enjoy, I'm open to all kinds of suggestions
These don't even have to come in the form of a proper series. So long as you've got them, I'll come running with blank CDs or DVDs or hell, my external just to get it off you.

7. Sign up to be an organ donor
If you're Malaysian and in Malaysia, I'll even give you the official form and get it processed for you. If you're Malaysian and not in Malaysia, that's cool too. Just head on over to the official website, print out the form and snail mail the donor form to the address. Whatever citizen of whichever country you are, please consider signing up to be an organ donor. People like to ponder and ruminate about life after death, and being no god (at least not a real one) or goddess, I can't predict what will happen. This much I know is true though, if you are an organ donor, you can rest assured that in your dying moments you can look forward to someone's life carrying on after your death. I don't know about you, but for me, that at least delivers some kind of concrete answer about the afterlife. Plus hey, if you feel like you've been a loser your whole life, at least you know that you did something selfless and great after your death which nullifies the whole loserhood thing, and thus you come out a champion. Awesomesauce, right?

Things I Want or "Hello, 2009, look what you can give me since my birthday is in about a month"; Part #2 of 3

2009-01-07T14:07:00.025+08:00

The Implausible
Cause let's face it. Even if anyone got me anything from this list, I'd have to return it on account of it's just way too much. But this doesn't stop me from putting this up just to show how materialistic and greedy I am.

1. Nikkor R2D2 Home Entertainment System

"It can project images up to 80in wide in 800x600 pixel resolution. It has an in-built DVD/CD/MP3 player, FM radio, speakers, outputs for hooking up to surround sound systems, a USB slot, memory card reader and – if that’s not enough – a pop-out iPod dock." ...Gizmodo

So what if I don't have an iPod. I'd at least like the option to put it in, you know?

2. i-Roomba

It's a vacuum cleaner that is programmed to find dirt and suck it by its own. That means, no more lugging out big ass vacuum and stashing it away later. Also, hello, Arrested Development much?

3. A Segway
If you haven't guess by the iRoomba want, I am very very lazy. So a Segway to transport me from my house to my car or my kitchen to my living room would on the sweet side of awesome and then some.

4. Pentax 10-17mm Fish Eye lens

This is the sex.

5. Full set of Battle Royale manga

It annoys me that I still haven't finish this. So a full set would be superbly awesome.

6. Sony Ericsson Xperia X1

unfunfunf

7. Canon Selphy ES1

It makes printing pictures a breeze. Just stick your SD card in, select and print. I totally want one of course.

8. Suzuki Vitara (discontinued model)

I've been in love with this car since way back I was in high school. They don't make this model anymore so if there ever was a perfect time to buy one for me, it'd be now. I'd drive it, squeal, and then return it to you.

~~9. Watchmen: The Graphic Novel~~ I love you, Chaz.

Or any other graphic novels by Alan Moore would be good too.

10. The boys of Friday Night Lights

Zach Gilford, Taylor Kitsch and Kyle Chandler. Please and thank you. (No guarantee that they will be returned in the same form they were first received in)

10. Bodhi Safety Pin Bag

Retail price: US$ 748

11. Icon Watch

Retail price: US$ 82

12. Issey Miyake for Seiko

Retail price: US$ ???

13. Frank Gehry Postive/Negative Watch for Fossil

Unfortunately this watch was from 2 years ago. You can't find it on anywhere but eBay anymore, much to my chagrin. And even then they always go for so damn much!

14. Miu Miu Nappa Bag

Retail price: US$ 1385

15. Proenza Schouler PS1 Bag Retail price: Over US$4000

16.Triple Backseam Charnos tights

Discontinued. Much to my displeasure.

17. These posters

The photoshopped Arrested Development/Star Wars poster. I find it absolutely hilarious, and hey, check out that segway in the bottom right corner!

This isn't even a poster. I have it labelled as a 'poster card'. Whatever that means. This one poster card makes up for the shitty "yippies!" we all had to sit through with Jake Lloyd.

Oh, Gary Oldman. Perhaps revealing the true extent of my fondness for Harry Potter, I really do want this poster. If not cause it stems from my favourite book in the series, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, is because I may or may not have come up with the most brilliant viral marketing plan for one of my products at work. Whatever the reason you choose to believe, I want it.

I care a bit too much movie poster designs more so than the average pop culture enthusiast, I think. This is one I want to own and pet.

I am a big fan of Polish movie posters. What are they? In a bid to prevent America culture from spilling into their streets in the 1980s, the communist government made it a rule that movies from America had to have a Polish-made poster. Hence, Polish movie posters. This one is for Star Wars. It was made by Michal Ksiazek.

/true movie geekiness.

This is the Polish poster for The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. 'Ptaki' translates to 'death'. Created by Bronislaw Zelek.

Polish poster for To Sir, With Love. Created by Maria Ihnatowicz.

Oh, come on. I even went to watch that stupid ass X-Files 2! I at least deserve a poster for sitting through that steaming pile of shit.

And for you, dear reader, I want Blogger to create a Livejournal type LJ-cut feature so that posts like this that you could care less about you can be scrolled over easier. Don't say I never think about you. I'm nice that way.

Things I Want or "Hello, 2009, look what you can give me since my birthday is in about a month"; Part #1 of 3

2009-01-05T02:57:00.006+08:00

The Impossible

1. World peace
No, but really.

2. For people in power to stop dicking around the people without power
I was just kidding about Impossible Want #1, but this I'm totally serious about. I think the tiny idealist in me, and we're talking like really tiny - a googleplex even, refuses to give up to reality and can't help being a hippie bohemian. I really do think that the world would be a better place if everyone was just nicer to each other, or even by paying a good deed forward (the schmaltz though, is really unnecessary). It starts with a bully choosing to give up his tormenting ways, to a kid who's got a new reign on life after realizing the torment ends, and so on and so forth. I don't have to paint you a picture, baby Haley Joel Osment and his baby blues have done a good enough job.

Why it is imposible: Because when you're on top, very few will care to look down, let alone care for the route up there.

3. For people all over the world to be self-confident and self-assured
Insecurity is a terrible thing. It causes people to think that being thin is worth puking away their boobs or that eating a bullet is better than living. Again with the hippie bohemian act thing but self-confidence is sorely lacking in today's population, and if people would just start believing in themselves I think real change can happen. Hell, there doesn't even need to be a drastic world-altering change. I'll settle for people finally being happy. Sincerely and truly.

Why it is impossible: People are too easily influenced and persuaded. A fact advertisers and marketing folks use to make a buck out of.

4. For all my loved one to be in the same country for a recurring extended time
Preferably, forever would be better. But I'm trying to be as realistic as I can about this list and so this is my compromise. I want to be able to gather up everyone I love and meet them every two months for a length no shorter than 4 days. Even then, this is impossible. I hate isolated nation states.

Why it is impossible: Because the logistics of it are beyond mind-boggling.

5. Perfect healthy skin
I was angry for such a long time at the injustice of being saddled with shitty skin. And in a deluded attempt to help cheer me up, people always tell me, "Why it's not so bad. At least you don't have psoriasis." Please by all means, discount and make light of my eczema while I scratch and draw blood. Sure, physically eczema sufferers may be faring better, but mate, the psychological damage is already done. Wearing a baju kurung in blazing hot sun during school would not have been my attire of choice if I didn't have anything to hide, ya dig? Anyway, fast forward and I'm a lot less bitter. Most months I actually get along quite well without even sparing a thought about the condition of my skin. But next to that hidden idealistic hippie bohemian lies one very bitter girl. She doesn't rear her head much around these parts but everytime I see the first star or catch a fallen eyelash, she's the one making this wish.

Why it is impossible: Because try as you might, you can change your boobs, your hair, your butt, but you cannot fuck around with genes.

6. For Katy Perry to die in a fire
If you're going to be hogging up all the space on radio airwaves, at least have a smidgen of talent. By Katy Perry, I'm actually referring to people who can't sing a note to save their lives being forced on me. So to borrow and alter a quote from Mean Girls, "Music honchos, stop trying to make Katy Perry/Simple Plan/Avril Lavigne/The Simpson sister/Family Guy happen!"

Why it is impossible: Because the media is high selective and if you come in an easily marketable packaged, you're the one they're going to go with. I mean, Britney isn't exactly Aretha Franklin material, capische?

7. For 'random' and 'emo' to die out from people's daily vernacular
What the hell is 'emo' anyway? People have use it to describe a dog, a state of mind, an expression, a music type, how they feel about their homework and yet it remains this stupid piece of meaningless fluff that doesn't have any real meaning to it. Here's a tip: sad, depressed, unhappy, sorrowful, dejected, morose, bitter - these are the words you probably refer to whenever you use 'emo'. Oh good lord, if you dare say or think "What is she getting all emo about", I will cut a bitch and reign terror down on you six ways from Sunday and then perhaps you will really know what 'emo' is. Ditto random. I will accept the bastardization of the English language in text or Internet speak, but I draw the line when one pathetic word is used to describe a myriad of emotions.

Why it is impossible: Because there will always be 16 year old kids in this world.

8. For the Malaysian film censorship board to get real
The reality being that people have sex, kiss, curse, are gay, are racists, die (some more gruesomely than others), and wear provocative things. You can try to hide it by cutting out or forbidding such scenes, but your archaic way of thinking and acting isn't doing anything to prevent it from actually happening. What you're just doing is annoying the shit out of paying audiences who are severely chagrined by your already shitty film quality to begin with as well as proving your utter fuckwit-ness.

Why it is impossible: There is no freedom of speech here, so how can there be freedom in celluloid entertainment?

9. For no more money politics in our government
I wish the fall of Badawi, our current Prime Minister who was once ironically dubbed 'Mr. Clean' at the start of his tenure for weeding out corruption, would be indicative of changing times, but as long as we continue to have such little transparency within our local politics, the buying of votes for favours is simply impossible to stop. It is so incredibly pathetic and shameful that every Malaysian citizen knows about the rife corruption going on here. It starts from paying out cops to avoid getting a ticket and snowballs to ministers exchanging projects or favours for cash. I don't even have to name names. I'm sure at the point at least three instances have already popped into your head. How utterly depressing is that?

Why it is impossible: See Impossible Want #2. Also, very few people actually like change. It's the Malaysian way to complain the shit out of something and not actually be proactive and make change happen.

10. For contests to stop resorting to 10 words or less slogans as a judging method
I'll make it clear to you: 'This is incredibly annoying, asshole.'

Why it is impossible: Because making you work for free gifts seems like a better yardstick for judging contests when really, everybody knows pulling a name out of the hat is much easier and less aggravating on contestants.

Help, please?

2008-11-24T02:49:00.004+08:00

So I really want to watch Twilight. Because hell, if I had to read those 4 series, I better have man-candy to perve on, you know? And what better form do they come in than Robert Pattinson and Jackson Rathborne?

The thing is, my want for watching that movie does not surpass my want for not wanting to pay to watch the movie. Are you still with me? Good. So I attempted to be all sneaky and win tickets thinking if I do win merchandise, all those suckers will fall prey to my eBay exclusive sale of the century. But naturally, since Stephanie Meyer is a cockblocking piece of work, the contest has to be her brand of fail too.

I simply cannot find it within myself to come up with a good enough lie about how I love Twilight in 20 words or less. Twilight, is essentially Twatlight to me. And really, the only answer my brain can come up with is this:

Fine. I'll pay my way there, fuck you very much.

This is why, this is why I'm hot

2008-11-21T03:32:00.003+08:00

The other day I got reprimanded by my parents for using a vulgar word. I was like, "Nuh-uh. I didn't say 'cunt'. Did I?" Even my sister was confused, on my side agreeing that I said no such vulgarity.

As it turns out, my parents are that old-fashioned that they still consider 'asshole' a vulgarity. And I apparently use the word so much so that it's now entered my daily vernacular. This I'm not so much worried about. What I am slightly worried about is this:

"Suck my non-existent massive hairy balls".

Frankly, I find it really funny since you know, girl here, hello. But I keep saying it unconsciously as a retort, and people's WTF-boggled-eye look, is making me wonder if perhaps I should do something and try to curb my language. I also say, "kiss my black ass" constantly, although that's more of a tribute to my favourite cartoon character, not that my ass is black in anyway (I don't think). I feel like I should do something about this cussing issue, but I couldn't be fucked really.

A retiree, no more.

2008-10-17T02:11:00.009+08:00

As luck would have it, I currently no longer qualify as a 21 year old retiree. In what has been a really bizarre month, I found myself going from bumming slacker to applying for internships on a whim, going to Turkey for a holiday, coming back to agree to a same-day interview (when I'm icky and probably infested with international air bugs!), scrambling for certificates and laughing at how all the stupid random shit I did in my life actually amounted to legit qualifications, getting hired on the spot, going to Singapore, coming back to start at the company, and fast forward everything it's now 2.18 am and I still have a proposal to finish up and 39 scripts to write. On top of that, I have a lot of mail to reply (it's coming!), friends coming next month (not like that's a minus), sewing projects to start on, a Turkey post to write, a scrapbook to do and my family just introduced a new member to the household. As much as I dislike little yappy dogs, I got to admit that this little poodle, possibly Maltese mix, is probably churned from the factories of Hallmark. It's so cute and sweet you can't hate on it. You think you've had enough of it, but damn, you just keep coming back for more. Him, I mean. Little yappy things are generally it to me.

Here's a few things in point form because I'm too damn lazy and don't have the time to write things in a paragraph since apparently I do not understand the concept of brevity:

1. I don't take to naming things that I own. So I haven't had much practice in giving things name. I'm tempted to pull a Holly Golightly and just name that poodle, Dog, but it's technically not mine to name, so I'm leaving it up to the rest of the household instead. If I had my way I'd probably name it something extravagantly stupid like Mr. Periwinkles or something. I'm pushing for a cat now since I love my felines. But as it is, my dad thinks cats are too snobbish and therefore not worthy of his time.

2. Working in a team consisting of all guys is no problem to me, but Mr. Boss seems to think that since I'm the token girl he should go easy on me. As a feminist who believes in equality among genders, I cannot agree with his sentiments. I know I should be reveling in the easier ride, but I like to earn my keep, be it a stupid lowly-paid, like we're talking sad sad pittance, mission or not.

3. Putting the toilet seat down got tired by mid-day on my first day but I can't moan about since I generally play by majority rules. And in this case, I'm really, really a minority here.

4. I feel a bit cheated working now since my work experience is nothing like what I observed on The Office. Where's our Dwight and Kelly Kapoor?! In fact our office is nothing like what I thought it would be. Everyday while we work, Bruce Lee, Limp Bizkit, System of A Down and Korn supervises from their positions on the walls.

5. My Fujitsu is not back yet and I'm missing it greatly. Watch me make out with it when it returns. I swear to Allah I really will.

6. While prepping for my interview, I went through past certificates to suss out the usable ones. My old report cards were kept in the same file I keep all my certs in. Going through the report cards, I realize that my success rate in school is totally inverse to the years I'm actually at school. I started out a grade A kid in Standard 1, jumped a grade and fell slightly to a A- in Standard 5, pulled a B average when I was in Form 2/3 and then deteriorated to a B-/C+/AddMaths+BM=fail student by the time I was in Form 5. I never really understood how I scraped through the final assessment in the last year of high school (and not fail anything!) considering I never finished a single Malay essay, never even read the Malay literature we were examined upon, failed Chemistry, Add Maths,and BM during the mid-year exams, and only handed in my homework on alternate weeks. I call it insanely good luck I didn't flunk out mid-way let alone pass my exam and not garner a single C. Who knows, maybe out there there's another Karen W. whose still moaning about her bad luck during SPM '03.

A Quick Recap of the the Life of a 21 year old Retiree

2008-09-30T14:11:00.008+08:00

- Such is my life now that I can name you the value of every single letter according to Scrabble rules. Is are probably my least favourite vowel ever. Out of the 9 Is that can be found in a full set, I usually get at least 4 of them while playing. Argh. Hate Is.

- I actually won a match of Scrabble the other night. Since I lack a single competitive bone in my body, I usually couldn't be arsed as to how I finish. But man, Scrabble mojo was in the air and I was the pwnxorrs. Lady Luck was on my side and the tiles I pulled were absolutely beautiful. I finished just shy off 200 points. I'm thinking now would be a good time to retire the game since I doubt I'll be able to eclipse that performance in the future.

- Since I don't have any income to spend, I've been holding back on any kind of clothes shopping. Instead I've taken to pilfering my parent's wardrobe and working on altering their clothes to something I would wear. Assuming my sewing skills don't fail me now, there should be a smorgasboard of new clothes to wear in the future. I really want to break out my mum's sewing machine, but bearing in mind my disastrous experience with her kitchen mixers (3 dead and buried), I'm very wary. As is she understandably.

- I've sent my laptop in for much needed service finally. Friends will know that the ADSL port and internal speakers have been busted for close to two years now. Take relief in knowing that my poor laptop is finally getting some TLC downtime, guys.

- I guess I don't have the best track record when it comes to taking care of my electronics. Every mobile I've owned has always needed the assistance of a rubberband to be held together eventually. My SE k610i is going slightly schizoid on me now and switching off without warning. My laptop, of course, is currently enjoying what I imagine to be a relaxing spa holiday at the moment. And currently tape is the only thing that's keeping my Pentax from falling apart. For some inexplicable reasons, all the screws that held my camera together have fallen and disappeared in the 3 years I've owned it. I swear to Yahweh that I don't do anything out of the ordinary to ruin my things! It's not my fault they can't stand the heat. I refuse too baby my belongings and keep them in socks and pouches and the like.

- I suppose that's part of the reason why I covet the Suzuki Vitara JLX so badly. It's a pretty old ass model that even the manufacturer has retired, but my research tells me that it can hold it's own and withstand rough handling, scratches and the like.

- I've just received my tax returns and I'm deciding how I should use it:
a) Put it in my fixed deposit account (*yawn*)
b) Go on a holiday (Bali, maybe?)
c) Buy a new digital camera (*pants*)
I've sussed out the cameras I'm interested in purchasing and I've realized taking into consideration my very specific requirements, the options I have are severely limited. It all comes down to cameras made in 2004 that aren't exactly fresh on the market. I'm thinking perhaps the (hopefully) cheaper cost might outweigh the older technology? Or I could loosen up a little and cave on certain requirements. We'll see.

- 'Asshole' is the word of the moment; and out of respect to my religious friends, and newly religious brother, 'Ya Allah', the phrase. I don't understand how saying what is basically 'oh my God' in Malay acceptable and non-blasphemous if I'm still using God's name in vain anyway. But I guess that's just another little inconsistency in the logic of religion. Yeah, I saw the oxymoron there.

- A plane flight to Turkey awaits and I'll be off till the 9th of October. I hope to eat much Turkish food and soak up more history. Since it's Hari Raya all over, I'm banking on some marvelous sights indeed.

- Since I chose to my time updating this blog instead of replying to emails, I'm just going to use this as a platform to send messages to people who I owe emails to:

Nick: Greatness happened in Istanbul in 2005 and I get to go there and you don't. Nye-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. I can't say much for Fernando Torres, but I'm pretty goddamn awesome. :D Also, your room is bitch ass. I approve!

Ad: Sew more, woman! You've got some mad skills. You can be like little J in Gossip Girl, with the sewing and the DIY-ing.

Charm: Woman, three words: ESSAYS. NOW. GO. True Blood is so lulzy and I really dislike Anna Paquin as Sookie. But Daniel Craig is awesome! He's like a man's man. Not pretty like Chace Crawford or precious like Lee Pace. Manly man, man! Rawr.

Jon: I'll be sure to eat enough pita bread and hummus for you, kid. Have fun on your school break! Text us and tell us how you're doing and in turn I'll rub it in your face all that you're missing out on.

Jim: Dude, quit stalking me! Internet dating was made for people like you, so get on that!

Chrissy: I demand you set up a blog and write about your experiences while in UK. Or email us more often. Is it everything that you thought it would be? Were all your fears completely unfounded?

Sam: (I don't actually know if the Snakes reads this, but let's assume that she does) My glibness probably ruined my chances for this job I really want which I applied for. I couldn't help it. It was 6 in the am and I was running on zero sleep, you know how I get. How long do you reckon I should wait for a reply before getting the hint and pissing off?

All right then. Autobots, roll out.

Wait, what? Oh! You just got pwned.

2008-09-16T09:16:00.000+08:00

Scrabblenanigans

2008-09-12T03:10:00.004+08:00

Please believe me when I say I have the worst luck when it comes to Scrabble. Pictures cause it ALWAYS happens. More epic fail at my Flickr page.

Sigh.

The difference between

2008-09-09T23:43:00.006+08:00

Moving back to a place I merely formally consider 'home' has been a very strange process. In the five years I've lived away, I have grown both mentally and physically and it feels like there exists this unbridgeable chasm between the mature adult and the teenager that remembers life differently (simpler). I will be Malaysia-based until further notice and I am gradually acclimatizing to the different living/social conditions here. While that's working out, I can't help but point out some traits that I find uniquely Malaysian:

1. Restaurants pile on the ice before pouring in the drink which leads to a cup of very diluted Coke after two minutes. Perhaps it's got to do with the warmer weather here, but man, 3/4 cup full of ice seems a tad extreme to me.

2. Of all the places I've traveled to, only in Malaysia do official forms require you to state your race. Given Malaysia's history, the topic of race is undoubtedly highly contentious. I have to wonder if there are ulterior motives for making the public divulge this little tidbit of information apart from census reasons. Which brings me to my next point.

3. It's a well-known fact that corruption is rife among our local government here. The fact that that is an undeniable fact, and not mere speculation or conspiracy theory trips me out muchly. People here are very passionate about bitching about the state of things.

4. I completely forgot how Malaysians mix other languages nonchalantly in their everyday conversation. Honest to blog, I don't know how that little Malaysian quirk slipped my mind considering it's so prevalent. It's rather amusing to have a conversation where one party is speaking in Cantonese while the other is answering in English.

5. In unrelated news, I actually detest the term 'honest to blog' which if you can't remember originates from Diablo Cody's Juno. I like the show well enough but I have to admit that the first 15 minutes annoyed me greatly with it's new-fangled hip lingo (observe: "That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet." ????!!!!?!?!?!?) and twee Moldy Peaches soundtrack to the so-cute-I'm-a-diabetic-now credits. Eeek.

6. Moving back on topic, the speech patterns and local slang here are definitely one-in-a-kind. I get called out for acting pretentious when I speak English, when really the only difference is I accentuate different parts of a word. I've never really used the 'localized' English commonly known as Manglish (Malaysian English) much, and I don't fancy being called a snob just because I refuse to ruin the English language in order to fit in. As if I don't get enough flack when speaking English, I also get called a banana when attempting to speak Cantonese/Mandarin and a poser when whipping out Bahasa Melayu. Sometimes I just can't win.

7. Malaysians like their brands very much - clothes, bags, cars. Is it a curious fact that snatch theives and robbers operate highly efficiently here?

8. I also forgot just how passionate Malaysians are about their food. We will drive to the other side of town for good satay or risk contracting food poisoning for the best seafood that is located at the dingiest ports. Hell, they'd probably drive all the way to Melaka to talk politics over a plate of chicken rice.

9. I suppose the last thing that stumps me about Malaysia is the fact that the international movies screened at local cinemas follow no certain order here. Australia follows the US quite closely in terms of new releases and being aware of the seasonal movie offerings in the States you learn to expect certain things. Like summer season in the States (June/July/August) means fun, frivolous movies for the fun seeking people on holiday. That means lots of comedies, kid-friendly flicks and mindless fluff, eg Tropic Thunder, The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia etc. while fall might mean more serious flicks, Oscar contenders and the like. The system in Malaysia seems not to acknowledge any of this. Wall-E and The Mummy 3 is out but so is Deception and Penelope, the former which bombed in Australia and the latter which doesn't even have a release date yet. I am so confused. This messes up everything.

10. And I'm not even going to start on movie censorship in Malaysia. All I will say is there is no point rating your movies if you're going to cut out all the cuss words/sex scenes/violent bits regardless of classification anyway.

Questions and answers

2008-08-25T19:31:00.008+08:00

I want to know why reading eBooks, that is books in electronic form (.pdf/.lit/.word), is considered nerdier that just reading plain physical books. Given the time and age where 'e' is the prefix of choice for many activities, why is it that I get looks of "okayyyyyyyy" when I tell people that I'm reading electronically?

They're much easier to transport around, take up very little space (depending on your reading medium), are technically better for the environment - no pages = no tree massacres = no landfill and well, if you know where to look, they're free. So why the discrimination?

Perhaps a better question.

Why do I get embarrassed telling people that I read eBooks?

I scoffed so hard when the Kindle was released. And now I'm reaping the benefits that a laptop and torrents can bring. I don't like being wrong in my assessment of things, but I'll always own up to my mistakes.

Only in dreams

2008-08-12T22:59:00.003+08:00

I sleep a lot, hence I dream a lot. But that is not true. For me, it's always been more the case of I dream a lot, hence I sleep a lot. I never daydream while awake, but when asleep, man, my brain thinks up the wildest scenarios. And I have to admit that I really like these dreams. Which is why, I think I like sleeping so much.

The very first dream I remember having happened when I was six. I dreamt that I was somehow transported to the Land of Oz and all the major players were there - Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, hell, even the Flying Monkeys. I suppose, it wouldn't be wrong to say that in that dream, I was playing the character of Dorothy. I don't remember how it ended. But I remember waking up feeling very unsatisfied, wanting to finish out the magical dream. No matter how I tried to reproduce the situations leading up to sleep time (not showering, sleeping at the same time, in the same position) I never revisited that dream, much to my disappointment.

Ever since then, I've had a variety of dreams, the majority which have been weirdly enough reality-based. By that I mean most dreams have been lacking such fantastical elements. Well, except zombies. But they're the undead. And fun. And possibly very real if you believe Cracked. Anyway, these dreams usually involve real people and real places, people I know and places I've been to. If you're my friend, I've definitely dreamt about you before. Not long ago a classmate from primary school who I haven't talked to in 14 years showed up in my dreams. It was very bizarre but nonetheless a nice surprise from this blast from the past.

Some of my dream highlights are:-

- dreaming every single one of my family, bar my sister, died (in separate sleeps). These three dreams remain the only ones I've woken up in tears. I don't know why Gill is the exception to the rule.
- Hanson appearing in my dreams (I was 11)
- dreaming I was a cop
- dreaming I was a track athlete
- dreaming I was an evil demon hunter ala Buffy or the Winchester boys from Supernatural
- lucid dreaming while sleeping in exams. During Form 5, whenever I would fall asleep during exams, I would always end up lucid dreaming. I would always be dreaming but I knew I was dreaming, so the dreams would be me trying to wake myself but no matter what I did I couldn't wake myself up. Those were fun times.
- a recurring nightmare that I used to have, that thankfully hasn't appeared in the past 2 years, so maybe I should say 'a nightmare I use to have' instead of recurring.
- running. I have run more in my dreams than I have in real life.
- adventure quests! These ones are very fun and I usually try to go back to sleep if awaken prematurely.

Recently, first of many previously undreamed dreams happened.

1) I dreamt in a whole different language. Needless to say, English is my main language, even in my dreams. But the other night, I ended up conversing in Bahasa Melayu for the first time. That was pretty funny. The next night, Cantonese was prevalent in my dream. Yet even though I barely speak or understand it, I understood everything.

2) For the first time ever, I appeared naked in my dream! I hear that it is a common dream and up until last week, it's never happened to me so I was very excited when I woke up to realize that I was naked in my dream. In that dream, I was at the beach and sun-tanning naked. Somehow I was caught on camera and that film was broadcast on mainstream TV at a diner where I was eating. I don't pretend to know what all this means. I just find it amusing that my dreams are so rich.

3) Since last month, I have been dreaming more frequently about taking pictures in my dream. I will usually be wielding my Pentax (I can't even dream up a DSLR, goddamn) and snapping away at everything. It's like I'm observing my dreamscapes and trying to take pictures to remember it all.

Last night I had another dream about taking photographs. For some inexplicable reason I was put in charge of a photoshoot, and when I tried wielding my digital camera, it literally fell apart in my hands. So I broke out my film camera and go to work, but I couldn't get the shot I wanted no matter what I did.

I don't think that all dreams necessarily have meaning. I certainly don't think that my dreams are anything more than random synapses in the brain. Most of them at least. I just thought I'd record this down for posterity.

If someone were to ask me if I am a dreamer, I would take a moments pause to deliberate on the implications of that question. I do not daydream, and I certainly don't have big aspirations or goals in life. But I am guilty of spending time in the unconscious realm and loving it. In every sleep, I hope to dream and when I don't, I feel strangely unsatisfied. In that sense, I suppose, I can answer an unabashed yes.

This post is dedicated to the Prepster

2008-07-10T19:31:00.003+08:00

In honour of your 21st, this pic spam is dedicated to you. I'm sorry your birthday was so shitty, mostly cause I wasn't there to add the dazzle component in your day. And technically, this pic spam is two days late. But my Internet was being a shitty little cockblocking bitch, so let's just pretend it's the 6th of July all over again okay?

This strangely disturbing picture of Voldy, Bellatrix, Dumblydore and Pottah welcomes you to the mother of all picspams.

Smile like you mean it!
[add on]: Obviously this post is coming out much later than "two days late". But well, let's say delays were necessary due to a grueling schedule and important GChats, okay? Right on.

Warning: This picspam is severely limited because a) my heterosexuality means I have more pictures of guys in my folder and b) you have pretty shitty taste in female celebrities. Oh gosh, maybe I should lay off the mocking since this post is meant to be a gift (of some sort). Anyhow, I have searched through all my picture folders and I think you'll be sufficiently happy with the pictures I have compiled. Or maybe not. The purpose of picspams is to perve, and I'm an equal opportunity perve. I have endeavoured to add some pictures of Miss-Acts-With-Her-Eyebrows but I don't think you'll like the context they're in.

Onwards with the picspam!

We begin with some old school Harrison Ford. I know you love the Indiana Jones trilogy (~~we do not speak of the fourth~~) and as I've mentioned before, I'm rather fond of Han Solo so it's like a win-win situation.

You were the only person I knew who didn't think Casino Royale would bomb with Daniel Craig at the helm, and obviously we're having the last laughs now. Well, technically the movie studios are. But po-tay-to, po-tah-to. To thank you for your support, here is a picture of the lovely Eva Green.

Okay, so you didn't actually care one bit about the casting in the movie. But you let me rant about it and pretended to be interested, as you do whenever I get on a pop-culture related tangent, so I'm grateful for that.

Gratuitous pictures of Scarlett Johansson, because everybody should appreciate how hot she is;

At least we're in agreement with when it comes to the status of her gorgeousness.

But proving that brunettes are inherently hotter, here is Eliza Dushku.

She remains my favourite Slayer till this day.
Oh, you don't believe my theory about brunettes doing it better? Well, observe:

Kristen Kreuk: The best thing to come from Smallville apart from Michael Rosenbaum

Zooey Deschanel: breaking hearts with her baby blues since she was two (okay, I just wanted to rhyme)

Audrey Tautou: showing the world how to be truly fierce. Tyra, take note

Natalie Portman: My orignal girl crush.

Keira Knightley: My second girl crush.

Gael Garcia Bernal: Y HELLO THAR. What a pleasant surprise. What choo doing here?

Alexis Bledel: All the roses in the world can't buy her acting chops, but gosh, aren't those eyes something else?

Liv Tyler: I can't think of anything to say cause all I can focus on are LEGS.
Jim Sturgess: Making Nick squeal since he first saw a face in Across The Universe

If you're still not convinced that theory has any grounds, I present to you three pictures I would casually call my 'trump cards';

It's common law by now that you can't put Gael up without including Diego Luna

Oh, wait for it;

da-yummmm!

Do you believe now?!?

Alright, so it's been established then. Going by hair colour, brunettes tend to be hotter than blondes. It's just a fact. Learn it, love it, spread it.

More pictures of ScarJo for your time;

And here's one random Elisha I found in my files.

I still don't get her appeal.

Now, as I'm sure you know, Nick, a Nick picspam would not be complete without one certain actress from a very popular Young Adult movie/book franchise.

This is not it.

Deadric Diggory is unimpressed with your tomfoolery

For the random reader at home, here's a chance for you to play along. Guess which pretty princess from the Harry Potter franchise, Nick is completely enamoured with?

Right off the bat, I can tell you that Ronald Weasley is not in the running.

Sucks to be me

Actually Nick isn't a big fan of the Wealeys at all, so Ginny is out:

as are Ginger Twins,

and my favourite stoner hobo, RPattz.

Remember. Early on, I gave you a very big clue about Nick's preference in actresses (read: pretty shitty). That should be a dead giveaway right there. So unfortunately, Katie Leung/Cho Chang is not the one.

although I don't understand why, cause home girl cleans up great.

And by that extension, neither is Clemence Poesy/Fleur Delacouer.

There's something about French women

Yes, unbelievably and rather anti-climatically, it is none other than Eyebrows herself, Emma Watson/Hermione.

Classy broad

I guess she's attractive enough, but honestly. With so many other pretty actors in the mix, she really doesn't stand out all that much. But I suppose it's one of your little quirks, Nick - picking the most random people to fanboy about.

Here's a bunch of pictures of her looking relatively cute.

Guess whose hand is she holding?

Why it's none other than Pottah himself!

Stab, stab, stab. I like inflicting pain and chagrin where possible

Booyakasha!

I think her cuteness quotient gets higher around Mr Pottah himself. Well, obviously he rubs off on her. Perhaps in more ways than one. Oh, that's right. I so went there.

Some visual with your chagrin, sir?

Tee hee!

I mock because I love. I'm sure you know how this works by now. That being said, I am sincerely sorry your 21st was terrible. At least you've managed to find little things that have made the day better (card/phone calls/this - because we're still making like this was posted on your actual birthday, you see). I know that next year's birthday is going to be fantastic and you know how I know that? Cause my friends and I are going to cut whatever bitch that stands in the way of your day.

Me and mah friends just hanging at a nearby street

I don't even know where to start in thanking you for everything. To compress our relationship and inside jokes into two trite lines seems like a terrible crime. I suppose I could try, but I've never been as eloquent as you and fuck me, putting this together has been a HTML nightmare, so I'm pretty much brain dead at this point.. Instead, I'll end this post with something the both of us can appreciate; macros. This is a personal favourite,

I'm sure you can understand why. Happy 21st, Prepster! Belated. Or whatever.

The difference between who you are and how people see you

2008-07-04T15:46:00.003+08:00

Recently I learned that some friends have found this blog. It isn't hard to, I am very aware of the virtual bread crumbs that I have left on the world wide web. Yet, although I knew full well what leaving those links could entail, the discovery of my blog by said friend kind of paralyzed me with fear. For a minute, I panicked and almost had a melt down. I worried about what I had said here and hoped that I hadn't offended anyone. For a second I contemplated deleting this blog. And then I mentally shook myself off and got over it.

Okay, some context. I'll 'fess up to being a non-committal worrier. What that means is that I might worry about something or someone intensely for a short period of time but say, after a couple of hours or days, I'll basically think, "fuck it", and move on. I often worry about how others perceive me, but never for long periods of time. It's usually short bursts that occur when I've done something weird or said something out of the ordinary. Mostly I'm worried about what the people I call friends think about me. As obnoxious as this sounds, I couldn't be stuffed with what strangers or new acquaintances think about me. After all, it's the opinions of those that matter that counts most, right?

So I have to admit, when my friend remarked that he had come across my blog, I was very worried if his opinion of me had changed. I don't even know what his opinion is. I just wondered if it had taken a turn for the negative. A while ago, a friend mentioned that I came across much angrier on my blog than in real life. It's not a conscious thing that I do - release my frustrations here, but I suppose those feelings could seep out in the way I write. I wouldn't classify myself as a self-conscious person, but I have to admit that I spend more time than I like on wondering what my friends think about me.

I wonder if they get annoyed with me. I have a very loose sense of humour and will basically laugh at everything and anything. I wonder if they find that quality atrocious. I wonder sometimes if I'm being too touchy-feely. Or perhaps not touchy-feely enough. I'm afraid of coming of as pretentious when I talk about films and music. I worry about coming off arrogant because I'm pretty self-assured and self-confident, when let's face it, I have little to crow about. I worry that I'm not good enough a friend. I worry if they would still talk to me if they knew how much of a potty mouth I really had. I worry if my bad habits which I try to keep hidden will surface and scare them away. I worry, I worry, I worry.

I've been grappling with this issue for a while now. The whole dichotomy of how I see myself and other people's opinion of me. I think for me that there's a definite disparity between the two and I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed or surprised by the outcome of my self-evaluation.

Whose got the power?

2008-06-25T01:29:00.004+08:00

In a bid to test my will-power, I haven't eaten beef in about a month now. I think. I don't really know the exact dates but I'm estimating a month, although it really feels like three. I'm thinking about breaking because I'm really craving beef soba. But then I feel like I'm giving up, and I start telling myself that "I can stick it out", but then while my brain thinks that, all my senses are like, "MUST HAVE BEEF SOBA. NOM NOM NOMM".

It's all rather confusing right now, I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder how I ever gave up pork for four years.

For the record, I wouldn't ever bother giving up chicken.

This post is dedicated to Ad Spags

2008-06-21T21:26:00.016+08:00

I have decided that I will sporadically put up pic spams dedicated to friends of mine. And if you're wondering why I do such things you may choose one answer from below:

a) I like my friends
b) I like doing nice things
c) I like hot guys
d) I have a lotta pictures saved up in my folder and sharing is caring

To which I will tell you that this is a trick question. And the trick answer is really e) Perving is fun, and to perve is to make our wellbeing better. Also, I'm too lazy to think up fresh content so pic spams are much easier to make a post out of.

This post is dedicated to my dear friend of almost 10 years, Ad Spags. Consider this a "Welcome Back to Blogging" present from me.

(Part 1 aka Charm's post can be found here).

And thus we begin the second Sporadic PicSpam...

I didn't get the appeal of Emile Hirsch until I watched Into the Wild last weekend. For me, talent plays a big part in how I choose actors I like and perve on, and boy, the raw talent and charm of Emile is very hard to deny and totally bowled me over. Truthfully, he's not the prettiest actor around. In fact, when he's scruffed up and unshaven, his hotness factor drops 28 points. But that's okay...

...because even when scruffy, he still works the goofy heartthrob factor. Yes?

Sorry Ad. I included this picture for entirely self-serving needs. I think Gael is hot. And I wish you could see that too. If you don't, I guess I'll have to work harder and be extra hard on the pic spams. It's not an easy task but I'm more than ready to take it on and make you see the light.

How bout some French hottie lovin' for you if you're not so inclined to our dear Mexican friend? Unfortunately I do not have pictures of Louis Garrel, but Gaspard is infinitely prettier, me thinks.

SHIRTLESS ROBERT DOWNEY JR. FOR EVERYBODY'S PERVING INTEREST. I'M NICE LIKE THAT.

If you compare me to John Mayer one more time, I'mma cut a bitch
Fact: John Mayer is to douche, as Jason Mraz is to ______?

The correct and only acceptable answer is WIN. Thank you for playing.

And in light of the massive failure that was Indy 4 that we both sat through, here's some old school Harrison Ford for your time. Him during his Han Solo years in early years Star Wars was simply perve-tastic.

I can't remember if we watched Jumper together, considering our long history of movie-watching together, but it's a true fact that Jamie Bell and his accent were the only saving grace of that craptastic film.

Oh oh! This is Michael Angarano. He is a very talented actor and is adorable too. You would have seen him in Almost Famous, Dear Wendy or err.. Sky High (which btw, is where that screen cap comes from and which is why he looks so young when I swear, he's really our age!) Let it be known that he's definitely one to watch.

And because girlfriend, there is no other satisfactory way to end this post, henceforth the James McAvoy loving will spill.

We're watching Wanted on whichever Thursday it opens, right?

Oh come on! We simply must!

Don't make me call up the guys to go, because they will not understand McAvoy's dazzle. I went to watch 21 with them and they were like, "Who is this Jim Sturgess?" and then glared at me when the talk of dazzle came up. Apparently my Facebook wall post spam of "Do I dazzle you?" was not received well.

Sometimes I think guys should just walk around in tuxedos all the time. Except I think most of them will not look half as good as McAvoy here, so it'll be just a waste of time, do you know what I mean?

Remember how I was telling you to watch Becoming Jane? Well, forget about it. Because all you need to know about the film is in this screencap.

Basically, James McAvoy is super smirking smexy and Anne Hathaway cannot help me carried away in the undertow of James McAvoy super smirking smexiness.

Actually there is a scene where he is shirtless and reenacting Fight Club 19th Century style at the start of the movie, but for some reason I can't seem to find the screen cap for that. Holy smokes, don't tell me I deleted it.

And as great as B&W pictures of McAvoy are, colour is good too because we get to see his pretty eyes.

Okay, lies. You cannot see his eyes here. But damn is he wearing the leather jacket well or what?

Okay, pretty eyes; take 2! I don't think it's working.

Oh sorry (although I'm really not sorry. At all). Wrong blue eyed actor. But come on! I can't be the only person who likes Elijah Wood.

And to end this post, some abnormally goofy McAvoy. You can sorta see the blue from here. Sort of.

Dear Ad, you are one of the quirkiest person I know, and trust me, I know a fair few. And I love every single one of your crazy quirks and ticks. You give great hugs and are not afraid to dole it out when I'm being mopey Harry Potter in book #5. I'm so so so glad that we're friends after I looked past the crazy when we first met in the school canteen in form 1. :D I love that you've resurrected your blog again. Now all you need is to accept my proposal to be co-author to Pop Culture Geekery and all will be right in the world.

Finally, thank you for giving me (and Nick) the free pass to School of Rock way back when. I rewatched the DVD yesterday. And was reminded of the utter fabulousness of this kid.

You're tacky and I hate you.

Cheers.

Daily Internet Rituals

2008-05-30T20:54:00.010+08:00

stolen from Sophia.

Wherein I tell you my favourite haunts on the Interwebs, regardless of whether you wanted to know in the first place.

1. ONTD_twatlight.
Currently, this Livejournal community is my biggest time waster on the Web. It's a community that's devoted to mocking and bagging the hell out of the most craptastic book since the time of A.D. The book is called Twilight, the community is _twatlight and the members are lovingly called twatfaxers. It's basically one big inside joke and it brings the LOLs in massive amounts. It's great to be part of a community that have little baggage and awesome personalities. And gosh, the inside jokes... I now smirk at the mention of the weather, maize, bacon, duct tape, sous vide, umbrellas, Chris Hansen and a zillion other innocuous things. This site has also completely won me over the prettiness of Robert Pattinson, whom I pic-spammed about two posts ago.

2. ONTD.
ONTD is the best gossip site in existence. It's just a fact. There's no draggy add-on life story like PinkIsTheNewBlog, and neither does it promote inbred-neanderthalness as exhibited on PerezHilton.com. Because all the contents are user generated, you get celebrity news from members who come from all over the world. Add to that magazine scans, newspaper articles, and industry insight, it adds up to a really comprehensive coverage of news from the celebrity realm, all for your easy access from one site! If you google "best communities on Livejournal", this site is the first one on the list. Yes, seriously.

3. Pajiba and by association, Webster's Is My Bitch.
Pajiba is my favourite and most trusted movie review website ever. The reviews are usually spot on, the comments very clever and the snark and wit invokes the essence of Television Without Pity, but without the excessive bitchiness. Webster's is a subdivision of Pajiba, or more accurately the gossip arm of the parent company. I really like the format they use in presenting posts, where they utilize a word or phrase and explain the meaning as well as attach it to the celebrity gossip. See for example, the explanation for the word worthless, and the phrase, I've made a huge mistake.

4. AV Club.
The AV Club deals with all things pop culture-related. Music, TV, movies, art... their articles are well-written and covers a very diverse range of topics. The only thing that shits me up the wall about the site are the commenters. Commenters on pop culture sites as a whole, are generally predisposed to having an inflated sense of self-worth that often translates to bitchiness and wit that run the gamut from genuinely funny to bucketloads of fail. Go ahead, ask me how I know this. For whatever reason, the AV Club seems to be the proverbial trailer park for the trailer trash of the commenting world. Although to be fair, their trashniess doesn't even come close to the commenters found at IMDb.

5.. Gala Darling, Fashion is Spinach and Fops and Dandies.
I've put these three blogs together because they mostly talk about the same subject, fashion and to a lesser extent, lifestyle issues.

6. All the links on both my blogs and my Livejournal friends-list, which is basically made up of communities and Sophia.
I might not always comment, but please know that I'm lurking in the corner watching every post you make. Wow, I sound about as lame-stalker as that reads.

7. Quaintly.net.
I don't remember how I stumbled across this blog, but ever since, there's been no regret and constant lurker action. Su Ann is a really intelligent girl who writes like a dream. She describes her feelings very succinctly without relying on flowery prose and the impact is that much more overwhelming because of the underwhelming way it's been conveyed. Does that make sense? Probably not. Just know that she is very, very ridiculously articulate and her command as well as usage of the language makes for a fantastic read.

8. Karen Cheng.
Look Sophia, I read her too! I'm not usually a big fan of 'mommy-bloggers' because most of the time, I'm not nearly as fascinated as they are about their self-described cute kids who also most of the time, are about as cute as a new born pug, which is to say, not very cute. At all. Holy run-on sentence, Batman! (I really need to stop doing that). Anyway, Karen bucks the trend, not simply because we share the same first name, or because she's got two very adorable sons, but because she conveys the ups and downs of being a stay-at-home mum with lots of grace and dignity. Often times we get hints of her frustration, but there's always an awareness of her good fortunes with the life she's chosen.

That concludes the top 8 sites I frequent everyday. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I don't go to news sites much, but I read the paper and watch the 6.30 pm SBS World news, which for me, is sufficient consumption of daily news.

Number 9 and 10 shouldn't technically be included because they've both shut down and stop producing new material, but back when they did, I was a constant visitor to the sites. Even now, I troll the archives re-reading the articles. Please know that if I had my way, they wouldn't have stopped and instead lived forever, thus making themselves number #1 and #2 respectively on this list.

The would-have-been number #1 but now is number #9: Stylus.
Stylus was this beautiful slice of perfection when it came to news reporting from the realm of popular culture. There was the obligatory coverage of movies and music, but what sold it best was the diverse topics Stylus wasn't afraid to cover. Unlike one certain music website that is all about the hipster wankery music -rolls eyes-, Stylus didn't shun popular music and often wrote really introspective articles of the state of pop. The movies reviewed covered art house flicks, cult movies, foreign films and big Hollywood blockbusters. Discussions were passionate but never rude. And the Staff Top 10 lists as well as features, were always an excellent read. It's a shame this site had to die for I have yet to find an equal to it.

Would-have-been number #2 but now, number #10: Fametracker.
Fametracker was the absolute shiznit when it came to talking about celebrities. I believe it's from the same people/company who brought you Television without Pity, so there was the inbuilt snark from the get go. Their 'Hey! It's That Guy!' feature covers the plethora of actors who you often find yourself saying, "Hey! It's that guy from _____". To put it simply, the site was complete and utter brilliance.

---

When I am really, really, really bored and am looking to waste more time on the Internet, I go to eBay and Flickr. I also stalk famous people on the Internet, namely James Gunn's MySpace blog, Jason Mraz's blog and the people who run and work or created College Humor.com. Well, I did say "waste more time" and I never do a half-assed job if I can help it. I also go to Cracked for the occasional laughs. Oh, and Nintendo 8 to play old-school Mario and Galaga.

I suppose it's easier to say that the Internet becomes a free for all when I'm looking to kill time.

---
Sites that I loathe
1. Perez Hilton
Ugh. The shameless self-promotion, the childish picture scrawling, the irrepressible need to plaster his goddamn ugly mug on every third post.. How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways. I honestly lose respect for people when they say they frequent this site. True fact. I overheard this one girl in my tute talking about it in a tone that wasn't derogatory and we never became friends. I don't think it's my loss.

2. TwoP
I used to go to TwoP a lot but the insane amounts of fanwank got to me after a while. Look, the third season of Veronica Mars sucks. It really does. Accept it and deal with it. No amount of explanation or fanwankery will make others see otherwise. Fuck, season 2 wasn't even all that great. Blame CW all you want, but ultimately Rob Thomas CHOSE to subvert the formula that make Season 1 such a critical success. He chose to end season 3 without a proper ending knowing full well, that there was a very big chance the show won't be coming back. Get over it or I'll sick the wahhhmbulance on you.
/end rant.

Honestly, I still frequent the Mondo Extras bit. It's content that would have ended up on Fametracker anyway.

3. IMDb
Ditto for IMDb. It's very hard trying to present an articulate argument because whatever you say, asswipes are just going to come back with a "If you don't like it, get the fuck off the boards" type comment. And regardless of how you tell them you're just trying to have a discussion, they call you a troll and the whole boards deteriorate into a name-calling session. Goddamn wankers. These days I get my information off Wikipedia. It's a lot easier and makes me less prone to stabbing people with a blunt fork.

4. Pitchfork
I sincerely want to smack every self-congratulatory bastard on this site for their self-deluded thoughts on being music maestros of the music universe just because they frequent this oh-so-exclusive website. Wake up and smell the green grass, because there's so much more to music than Indie Rock. You're so much worse than those 14 year old die hard My Chemical Romance fans, because they at the very least, do not have age and experience on their side. Fuck you for giving the genre a bad name with your self-wankery.

---
This post ended up a lot longer than I expected. Sorry, Sophia! And as a treat for reading all that, here is a great interview by Complex magazine with both James McAvoy and Common for the upcoming movie, Wanted. Yes, that's the actor from Scotland and rapper from USA. It's a bizarre match but both of them seem to have a good rapport and the interview is a fun read. Here's a snippet:

Common: ...I was just excited to work with James. I seen James in Last King of Scotland, I’m one of them people like, if I see somebody and I think they got something, I become a fan and follow they stuff. So when I seen James, after that, what was that movie you did with “ten?”
James McAvoy: Starter for 10? I can’t believe you watched that.
Common: [Laughs.] I wanted to see that just because I liked James. So I was excited to work with him. Going back to the whole classical training, whatever he was bringing was just right, and he’s like that in every movie I seen him do.
James McAvoy: Thank you, man.

Part 1.
Part 2.

via, where else, the fabulous ONTD.

Things that have crossed my mind lately

2008-05-28T00:25:00.007+08:00

- I hate shopping sites that don't readily put out the price of their products and only reveal it during the check out bit. Price plays a big factor in my decision to purchase something so not having the price readily available annoys me muchly.

- My grammar and spelling is deteriorating at a shockingly high rate. I wonder if that has anything to do with my growing fluency at Net speak.

- Consequently, what are the odds that future employers would be impressed if I added 1337 and LOLcat to 'languages I speak' in my resume?

- Thanks to Net speak, the term 'serious business' elicits giggles that confounds my conversation partner. Trufax. I had to explain to someone about the importance of the correct brand of toilet paper and he said not ironically, "This is serious business." I guffawed like a donkey on fire.

- Additionally, Zoolander made me forget that the correct term for 'investigatory journalist' is actually really 'investigative journalist'. The former came out in conversation the other day and I was completely stumped as to what the correct term was till Google informed me.

- Why is it that movies seem to run much longer than they really should these days? Indy Jones 4 was 2 hours and 2 minutes of total abomination and 21 could have been 21 times better if 21 minutes was cut from its total length of 2 hours and 3 minutes (clap, clap, clap). What happened to exercising some control in the editing room? Tighten up the script and cut the flab, script writers! Which leads me to my next thought.

- What could possibly go on in the Sex and the City movie to warrant a run time of 2 hours and 22 friggin' minutes?! I imagine the movie is made to stoke the fire of fangirls all across the nation but Christ on a stick, that's one long exercise in movie masturbation for a series that frankly wasn't all that good that people made it out to be.

- SatC is one of those things that people confess to liking as a guilty pleasure. Or if they like it, they'll say they like it best because of the strong friendship between the four leads or the fashion. Kind of like Gossip Girl. And how people only like it because of the relationships and wardrobe eye-candy. I have nothing else to add to this observation. I think there's something worth investigating there but it's not immediately obvious and I'm in a couldn't-be-arsed mood to think or formulate some kind of theory.

- There is this guy I know who I introduce as my cousin. We share the same last name and were born on the very same day a year apart. He too is a middle child and we both lack 20/20 vision. Character wise, we're as polar opposites as positive and negative come. One time, a mutual friend said, "Call your cousin to come out with us." And I was all, "What cousin?" I'm starting to forget which person I've told the lie too which is bad. We're now trying to push the fraternal twins angle because we roll that way. Stay tuned for more mischief and mayhem of the LAME-you're-the-only-one-laughing kind.

- I used to wonder why people believe the bullshit I make up. Every other person I meet I call cousin and depending on where people guess my (non)accent is from, I create a fake identity accordingly. Then I realized that it's because when we first meet people we take everything they say at face value. We don't stop to question their name and true identity because we assume they're telling the truth. This realization made me feel terrible for abusing people's trust, wonder how many people lie as well and what this compulsive lying says about my character. I think I'll stop lying when telling people that I'm Betty from a town called Riverdale, California stops being amusing. Which should be about, oh, never.

- A while ago I told Chaz that before I die, I would want to get blazed out of my mind with illegal substances so that I can experience the high without the consequences. Now, I think I'd be happy to go out in an edible orgy of egg-related food items. Bulls-eye, hardboiled, scrambled, hard boiled, cheese cakes, brownies, souffles, omelettes, chawan mushis... ahh. I'd be the most swollen and blotchy cremated body ever, but it would be complete and total eggstacy (clap).

Offline death in an online world.

2008-05-24T00:31:00.005+08:00

When people die in real life, what happens to their online identity? I understand email accounts self-delete after a certain period of inactivity, but what about Facebook and Myspace accounts? If someone puts up a profile you on MyDeathSpace after your death, is that suppose to be enough to alert the online world about your demise? What happens to your eBay account if you have one? Especially if you were selling/bidding on things? And say you keep a blog? What happens to it?

I want to know the answers to these questions. I also want to know if it's considered too lame or of bad taste to engrave 'FAIL' or any of it's derivatives ('aboard the failboat'/'fail at life' etc) on a dead person's tombstone.

This post is dedicated to The Charmmeister

2008-05-19T19:46:00.014+08:00

Otherwise titled, 'Boys who I think are hot but Charm does not, but let's dedicate this post to her anyway for shits and giggles.'

How can you not love a man who works the hell out of Blue Steel?
Although I suppose to be fair, I'm more in love with Dean Winchester than the actual Jensen Ackles. Which is why I think you must watch Supernatural. Seriously, Dean is the shiznit, Chaz. We're talking witty banter, (one) good looking brother, decent enough mythology and the icky-est fanfiction in the history of fan created fiction ever. Need I say more?

One of my best friend is infatuated with Mr Sturgess here. And he's lacking the double Xs in his chromosome buildup that you have, Chaz. Jim Sturgess is so adorable, he makes young golden retriever puppies cry. Trufax.

DJ/Producer extraordinaire: Mark Ronson. No need to know his music, just know he's adorable.
Honestly, this guy confuses me. Sometimes he looks super-diggly adorable like in this pic. And other times, he looks like this:

which isn't nearly half as interesting as the former. It's in pictures like this that you can finally see the resemblance to his twin sister, Samantha Ronson. So I suppose this guy's hotness is questionable.

If there's one good thing that came out of Iron Man, is the fact that the greater movie-going audience and Chaz is finally privy to the hotness and male perfection that is Robert Downey, Jr. He is one of the finest working actors in the industry and it's fantastic to see him get back on track after all that shenanigans with the illegal substances.

And you've made it very clear that you don't find Frank Iero in anyway relatable to the word 'cute'. But for chrissake's woman, HE'S HUGGING A GIGANTIC GREEN DINOSAUR AND LOOKING GLEEFUL ABOUT IT. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!?

And finally, you've had to see this coming considering the recent discussions we've had about dazzle and sparkle. I'm going to illustrate to you why I think you too should be obsessed with Robert Pattinson, henceforth known as RPattz.

Look at that hair. Hardest working hair in Hollywood, I tell ya. Besides the fair that he's got the best hair I've ever seen on a guy, he also looks high as hell in 3/4 of the pictures that exist of him on the Internet. Observe Exhibit A:

So high, the Chicago Space Tower ain't got nothing on him.
and Exhibit B:

Yeah, maybe he doesn't look that high here. But take note of his outfit because you get to see it in it's entire glory in the next picture.

sparkles!!~~
Who wears a velvet jacket and leather pants to a premiere? Oh, I don't know. RPATTZ WOULD!

And any mere mortal would have looked horrible in that dazzling ensemble. But guess who ends up rocking the velvet/leather combo while looking really, really smarmy and hot? RPATTZ, THAT'S WHO.

See Dean Winchester (above) about hot guys rocking the Blue Steel look.

And when he cleans up,

So hot that the temperature meter system has been changed from Kelvin to RPattz

Oh hell yeah, he cleans up good. He also has a very versatile look, not necessarily always dazzling in the dreamboat kinda way.

Here's him being a (dreamy) nerd.

And him looking like a (dreamy) homeless person.

And him looking (dreamily) blazed out of his mind.

But seriously though, he's got such a great smile. And an even better side profile. Plus in pictures, he always looks like he's having fun (comes with being highhhhhh) so I imagine that in real life, he would be all sorts of dazzling.

Here's him in one of your favourite colours. See him here? Rocking the Mills&Boons romance book cover look. That's what we call versatility. Otherwise spelled as H-O-T.

So dear Chaz, this post is dedicated to you. Thank you for putting up with my childish ways, like tagging you on Facebook pictures when you're not even fucking in them, or hearing me ramble on about the best community on Livejournal, _twatlight, and entertaining SMSes that talk about bringing 'freedom' back to food. Also thank you for not judging me when I gulp down a jug of Coke and not smacking me in my face when I pimp you out to my other friends. Finally thank you for having such a high bullshit tolerance level and continuing to be my friend, although I have given you many reasons not to. You're the best. For your birthday this year, I'm giving you bacon and gaffer tape and a cookbook on cooking sous vide style.

Also, you should probably know that all the above italicized words are inside jokes at _twatlight. You have no idea how much fun I had making this post. Please join _twatlight already so I can stop giggling to myself while making blog posts that no one understands. If this plea isn't enough to move you, here's a macro that hopefully will.

All credits go to ink-faerie at _twatlight

Psst, I got sidetracked because of this.

Eugoogly: Mr Robbins of Baskin-Robbins

2008-05-09T21:57:00.004+08:00

"Frankly, I never met a flavour I didn't like."
-Irvine Robbins, co-founder of Baskin-Robbins

via Baltimore Sun

Thank you for Jamoca Almond Fudge and Peanut Butter & Chocolate, sir. Your ice cream is really quite expensive but those two flavours make the five bucks go a long way in taste and quality.

[addendum]
This is post #200!

Links Almighty!

2008-05-07T22:09:00.005+08:00

This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a while.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

CollegeHumor, I think, is fast becoming one of the best websites for producing good comedy on the Internet. The rest of the site may be more male-orientated with the running frat-boy theme amongst the articles and the pictures, but I'm particularly enamored by their original videos. It's a combination of having good writers, decent enough means of production ie. sound/video editing, photogenic crew (seriously, there is no unattractive person working there) and buckloads of creativity. Most of the people working there end up creating such fantastic on-line personas that I get curious enough to start finding more information by means of stalking them on their blogs and Flickr account. Thank goodness that most of them have utilized the powers of Web 2.0 that their company banks upon.

---

In unrelated news, visit Faildogs.com.

Proving that cats aren't the only animal in the animal kingdom who bring the massive FAILs.

Oh.

More, you say?

Although that last one doesn't actually have anything to do with the dog.

---

In even more unrelated news, I really like Mondays and Wednesdays because in the mornings, this really adorable guy from one of the meat shops at Victoria Market comes by to get coffee for his shop. Before I knew he existed, his elder brother came in, and even then I was already slightly perving. Since he looks almost exactly like his brother, it's much easier on my conscience to ogle at said guy. Oh, and he gives the most spastic winks. Whenever I greet him, he says hi and winks, and I have to stifle a smirk. He probably thinks I have a weird-ass cheek-biting condition that prevents me from meeting his eyes. But he's seriously spastic! His whole face contorts and I think both eyes actually close when the supposed wink happen but that just simply adds to his level of adorability. Naturally. Gotta love cute guys with spastic winks at 6 am in the morning.

Incoherency

2008-05-04T22:11:00.010+08:00

- A weekend with the family at Queensland just isn't enough. My family is one of those disgustingly Brady-like family with weekends scheduled for 'family time'. And rage against it I may have once, but my stance changed after realizing that acting like an idiot negates my right of making fun of other (worser) idiots. This past weekend at Surfer's Paradise also marks the first time the 5 of us have been away together since 2003 with no possibility for a recurrence in the near future. Hence with the added momentum of the weekend away, it was especially hard to walk away from the embrace of the doofuses + Mum that make up the Wongs. Still, the world turns on its axis, and life moves on.

- I'm not prone to grand hyperbolic statements. So when I say that I believe Surfer's Paradise to be the arsehole of the universe, it probably is.

And yeah, it really, totally is.

- Over the weekend, I read this book below.

The book started out really well, laying out the historical evidence of cannibalism throughout the centuries. Covering most of the different historical periods from the early Egyptians to the current century, the different reasonings behind the act of consuming the flesh was examined. But then in choosing to devote the majority of the book to profiling different cannibals, the tone of the book went from BBC-History-Channel documentary to schlocky E!-True-Hollywood-Story exposé . The similarities between the psyche of these cannibals was very informative to the reader, however the in depth, and we're talking 'the-thighs-and-calves-make-for-the-best-meat' kind-of-depths detail, of the murders and actual consumption was a bit much to take. I suppose at the end of the day, that was partly why I bought the book anyway. I mean, one doesn't pick up a book titled 'Eat Thy Neighbour' expecting a story about Care Bears with the disposition of Elmo, right? I did feel really queasy after finishing the book, more queasy than I felt after watching movies of the supposed torture porn genre. But then I ended the night eating raw salmon fish, so there's that.

- This book I also read over the weekend.

I had been meaning to read the book after experiencing the massively insane fandom, so it was with much excitement that I started the book. Going into it, all I knew that it involved a love story between a human and a vampire who meet at high school. Before starting it, I gleaned off the paper that in the Top Five Best-Selling Australian Sci-Fi/Fantasy, this book and its consequent sequels scored #1, #4 and number #5 respectively. Which, frankly, is both ridiculous and spectacular enough to warrant disbelief and curiosity. I wanted to know what the hype was all about and why the people on the LiveJournal community I frequent applied the massive sparkle effects in posts. And oh boy is the reveal friggin' hilarious and so worth the read. Can I just admit right now that I am hopelessly addicted to ONTD?

Anyway, the book as a whole makes for an entertaining read. Personally, I have found another to be more superior when it comes to the Young Adult fantasy/romance fiction genre that Stephanie Meyers based her book upon. And I think the comparisons between Harry Potter and this book is completely unfounded, especially with the existence of the Night World series. Twilight was great at the start as the tension between the two protagonists build, but past the reveal and the common understanding, the story moves toward the kind of fluff that serves to whet the emotions and fire of dedicated fans. It's all dreamy prose of everlasting love, wants, needs and haves that defies reason. Which, you know, isn't bad, but pales in comparison to the other author my allegiance lies with, because she at least doesn't let the story degenerate into fluffy fanfiction.

- I sound really obsessive about Night World but that probably is because I am.

- If I could go back to Twilight for a bit though; after completing the book, I'm not sure that it will translate well to the film medium. There are only so many things CGI can do, but if and when the SPARKLE happens (sniggers), the film could potentially degenerate into one long LOL-lercoaster ride. I suppose I'm only expressing this issue because ONTD has ruined me.

- I've had the startling realization that James McAvoy is in fact, a Scottish version of Diego Luna! Or perhaps, Diego Luna a Mexican version of McAvoy? The point is besides both actors bearing a resemblance to each other, both are also incredibly talented and are slowly getting the limelight they deserve. They both have a very alluring appeal that isn't immediately obvious at first glance. And superficially, what they lack in height, they make up for in hotness. You heard it here first!

S-M-R-T

2008-04-24T04:56:00.006+08:00

Is it worser to know what you want to do with your life or haven't the foggiest idea at all?

I imagine a lot of people would say the latter. I have found that people, especially young adults in their early 20s, are often rather envious of those who have a general direction of how their life would like to turn out. And when I say general, I don't mean, "Work for the man, eat, shit, maybe have sex a couple of times then die."

I mean, "Work for X Company". Or "start up my own company". Or even "get married by X and pop out a kid by X". These kind of guidelines that we run our lives by, ever charging towards attaining the goal is what I mean when I say direction. Unlike the panic attacks that go hand in hand with the latter group, this group knows what they want and (I assume) will work hard towards achieving it.

Personally, I belong in the first group. To put it plainly, I've got a five year plan worked out in my head. The timeline isn't set in stone, but it's safe to say I know what I want to achieve in the near future. Sounds great, right? I suppose on paper it does. I'm pretty sure a representative in the other camp would ask me to sit the fuck down and shut up while they panic about their life choices. Honestly though, it's scary as hell knowing what you want. Equally as scary not knowing, I'm willing to bet.

When you don't know what you want, all your cards, the might-bes, the will-bes, the would-have-beens, are all laid out for you. It's a matter of selecting a couple and narrowing it down to one. You don't stand to lose anything because your choices are still open. On the other hand, you've got everything to lose when you have a plan.

If you fall along the way, BAM, it's 'where the hell did I go wrong?'. If for some reason outside your control you don't get what you want, BAM, it's 'what if I did things differently?. But worst, if you put all your energy and effort and power in succeeding and you still fail, it's, BAM, disappointment of the most bitter 'holy fuck, what do I do know' kind. You're back to square one but with the added knowledge that you've failed before. Taking the building blocks one at a time won't be as easy this time round cause you're going to be second guessing yourself every way through and every big decision will be filled with doublethink (not of the Orwellian kind), trepadition and fear.

Deep down we're all afraid, man. All our actions are a reaction to that innate sense of fear we're all afflicted with. That fear manifests itself throughout our life from epic decisions to minute ones. We work because we fear poverty. We have pets because we fear loneliness. We (attempt to) live our lives to the fullest because we fear that when death comes for us, we'll reflect on the life we've led and go, "If only". But then I'm getting off tangent. Let's go back to the original point.

I can't say who has the bigger claim on that fear. It's not my place and well, I'm sure not there are some people reading this going, "Karen, you just ripped off Donnie Darko's love-fear Lifeline idea", which coincidentally, is a movie I absolutely detest for the simple reason that it's honestly a crap script sold as an existential-like take on mortality sold to the hipper-than-MTV niche of our generation while Gary Jule's 'Mad World' wraps up the trite package. Although I guess if there was anything good that came out of that whole junk was that Lifeline idea and Maggie Gyllenhaal. But then I'm getting off tangent again. Let's retrace our steps yet again.

Like Donnie says, "Everything can't be lumped into two categories. That's too simple." Which I accept and understand and actually agree with. It is rather simple, but then I've always said life is actually a lot simpler than what we make of it. Whether you agree, disagree or feel nothing about this post, it's okay. Just remember that this is one inconsequential word vomit of just one of billions of blogs on the Interwebs.

I'll end with this; beware the next person who tells me I'm so lucky I know what I want to do with my life for I will ask him/her to sit the fuck down and shut up.

Breaking the bank.

2008-04-21T18:00:00.003+08:00

I just spend close to $500 on polaroid film from eBay.
I recently bought three CDs.
And I still need to buy new batteries for my CD player.
I bought a film camera just last month.
To use the film that I bought from New Zealand at the start of the year.

Would that I could get over my infatuation with lo-fi technology. Maybe that money can be funneled towards better opportunities.

However, I have very strongly embraced the ordering-food-online movement.

'Sup, Dominos?

Bolded = truths

2008-04-17T18:40:00.005+08:00

It's like updating, but without the typing and thinking of new stuff to write about!

Appearance
I am shorter than 5'4".
I think I'm ugly sometimes. - is that egotistical not bolding that? (I've got a lot of self-confidence.)
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/had braces.
I wear glasses.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears. - had/going to.
I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I've had children.
I've lost a child.

School/Work
I'm in school.
I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I've missed a week or more of school.
I've been on the Honor Roll.
Within the last 2 years I failed more than 1 class.
I've stolen something from my job.
I've been fired.
I've skipped school.

Embarrassment
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've peed from laughing.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've had my pants rip in public.

Traveling
I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I've been to Mexico.
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.

Experiences
I've gotten lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've been an abuse victim. - by the hands of one manager from Maccas, hell yeah
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play.
I've met someone in person from the internet.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi.
I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've had someone cheat on me.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of commitment.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've cheated in a relationship.
I've gotten divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I've had a crush on a teacher.
I love to flirt.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've hugged a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
I am a terrible liar.
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol
I've consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I've passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I've smoked weed.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I'm a stoner.
I've snorted cocaine.
I've eaten shrooms.
I've popped E.
I've done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I'm anorexic or bulimic.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.
I've cried myself to sleep.
I see a therapist.

Death and Suicide
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I've attempted suicide.
I've written a eulogy for myself

Materialism
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

Political/Social Attitudes
In general, I don't like people.
I'm a feminist.
I'm outgoing.
I listen to political music.
I'm Democratic.
I'm Republican.
I'm liberal.
I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush.
I'm religious.
I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."

Random
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don't kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I'm good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names.
I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Short recap

2008-03-27T00:19:00.003+08:00

It started with me completing my tutorial readings for a debate that I have to prepare for next week.

Then I trawled the Interwebs for further information. "Control yourself" was the mantra in my head as I logged online.

It went smoothly at first. I found a lot of articles that could help my case in the debate. I was feeling good about everything. I decided to take a break and oh, what a mistake it was!

On LiveJournal, I exchanged comments with a friend about Mac-wankerists (verdict: the bane of modern society) and mobile phones.

I felt compelled to hit up CNet to check up the specs of the Hip Top 2/Sidekick 2 that my inner thirteen year old wants to own.

And then got sidetracked reading about the Creative Zen Stone Plus With Speakers, which by the way is the actual name for the new MP3 player with in-built speakers, if that wasn't obvious enough.

Which made me realize how I was obsessed with the Samsung YP-K5 last year. That and the Microsoft Zune were the only MP3 players I'd be interested in purchasing then. Course we all know how Zune fared, so my interest died a lot.

Next, just to satisfy my curiosity, I went to good ol' eBay to suss out the prices of the Creative and Samsung MP3 players. And whatdayaknow, they're both actually in my price range!

So now, I end the night wondering where that control went and if I really will be fulfilling a long-time desire and obsession. As I attempt to sleep later, I will reflect on my addiction to eBay and ponder on it's ramifications. If I have my way, in a week, Death Cab will play from built-in speakers while I chew on those pesky thoughts.

And then there were three.

2008-03-21T16:53:00.004+08:00

Faust: Love of the Damned is now the third movie I've turned off in my adventures in cinema-land. The first two are here. The movie is quite possibly the worst graphic novel/comic adaptation I've had the displeasure of sitting down to. That being said I haven't actually seen Fantastic Four 2.

I only sat through Gerry because the appeal of Casey Affleck was too much to deny and I had a remote control. I fast forwarded my through the film, gorgeous cinematography, be damned! That movie was such a waste of film. Experimental movies aren't just my cup of tea.

This will possibly hurt my street cred (watch me pop 'n' lock, bitch) but I've been itching to watch Step Up 2 since principle casting was finalized. Robert Hoffman, as the male lead in any dance-themed movie will be highly energetic and no doubt equate to jaw-dropping entertainment. Sure, it won't be cinematic poetry or brimming with verbose dialogue, but nobody goes in a dance movie expecting a Woody Allen flick, am I right?

And that is why I have no fear that Hoffman will be worth my nine dollar ticket. Oh, he'll step up too alright.

Too punny?

Hello, world!

2008-03-20T18:01:00.005+08:00

From Pajiba's 'What's in a Ringtone?' comment diversion today. The question was what was your ringtone and why.

"*Deep Breath* Soulja Boy. An uninspired piece summer garbage? Yes. Catchy? Undeniably. However, there is a story behind it. In my Speech and Communications 101 class, we were told to do a demonstrative speech. In this, right after the summer of the Soulja Boy blitz, I was inspired to demonstrate to the class how to do the dance. After a few weeks of studying every move, I was ready. And so I, the quiet, nerdy-enough-to-know-Pajiba kid stood up and danced my lily-white ass off. If it was a movie I would've gotten a date with Molly Ringwald and probably knocked out the captain of the football team. As it is, I was widely known as Soulja Boy for the rest of the semester. (Is that a good thing?)

Posted by: TyranThesaurus Rex at March 19, 2008 3:13 PM

Things to love about this response
1. That this TTRex dude would even admit to Soulja Boy being his ringtone.
2. That he studied the moves!
3. That a (self-described) quiet nerdy kid would be inspired to 'crank dat' in front of the class.
4. That he used Molly Ringwald as the fictional hot chick and not someone like Megan Fox instead.
5. What's not to love about Superman-ning that ho?

"My phone now has the old-school vibrating/normal phone ring combo going on after my friend told me the most horrific story a couple of weeks ago about why you should never have a song as a ringtone.

Her father collapsed at her sister's rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, and as he's in the hospital - possibly dying, possibly already dead - they're in the waiting room having a prayer circle with all the members of her family and their preacher, when her phone goes off....the siren call of of Snoop Dogg's "Sexual Seduction" filling the room.

Posted by: feramones at March 19, 2008 3:26 PM

Oh dear!

I obviously picked up a new html code and am now showing it off.

For your stalking purposes my ringtone is an mp3 file of Guns 'N' Roses, Paradise City. Before that it was an mp3 of Sneaker Pimps', Six Underground and way before before, it was the theme song of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Prior to that it was your standard ring-ring-ring tone.

My wake up alarm is Daft Punk's, One More Time.

Since I've started using phones, I have used a Nokia 8210, a Samsung ?, an LG U8210 and a Sony Ericsson k610i. The Nokia has been my favourite, but the Sony Ericsson is pretty bad ass too. By far, the worst has been the LG. That phone has scarred me off using any further LG products.

---

Completely unrelated but I really like this post by Sarah Schneider, writer extraordinaire of College Humor. She talks about quantifying her love for music.

"...it’s the feeling that washes over you and completely consumes all your senses when you hear a track that moves you. When you hear a song that sparks a memory so intense that the nostalgia is overwhelming. Or when a song fits your current place in life so profoundly that its very presence in your world brings a clarity and perspective otherwise lost. That is what I think it means to love music..."

I can only wish to be that articulate in my next life.

Yesterday I...

2008-03-18T01:43:00.008+08:00

- slept a grand total of and hour and a half.
- went to Maccas and bummed around there.
- rushed home and rushed off to school again..
- was going to be a good student and spend productive time at the library!
- forgot to bring my wallet to school.
- learned that you CAN withdraw cash without any form of photo ID after all.
- realized that money withdrawed (for lunch) was useless as the student card was still needed in taking out books from the library.
- trudged home in mind-numbing brain-melting 37 Celsius degree heat.
- flung open the balcony door, pulled down the blinds and broke out the 6 pack and chips to a whoa-it's-so-bad-it's-good-or-maybe-not D.E.B.S..
- felt bad upon consuming all that mindless caffeine (yum, diet Coke) when I had no intentions of staying awake.
- sat outside the balcony while I contemplated and brooded about life to the soundtrack of Ryan Adam's Gold and 29. Ugh, how wanky.
- fell asleep for about two hours.
- woke up and got alerted by stomach that proper food was needed.
- proceeded to consume grapes and a bag of popcorn.
- spent the rest of the night whining about the stilted warm air.
- watched a lot of episodes in the College Humour's 'Hardly Working' series.
- finally took a shower.

Right now I...
- am loving the cooler wind that the wee hours of late night/early morning brings.
- am waiting for 5.30 am to come.

Rinse, wash, dry and repeat.

Some things...

2008-03-11T20:16:00.003+08:00

I imagine that if I stayed alone, any visitor to my place would be undeniably floored by the mess. I can see it in my mind; the dishes piled up in the sink, clothes spread all over every single surface, shoes scattered where least appropriate. My books would be littered throughout every room in the apartment, arts and crafts supply taking up their spots on what should have been my study table and socks missing their pair that would be hiding beneath the pile of clothes in the corner. My bed will never be made, nor will my accessories be hanging in their rightful spot. The couch will have a permanent Karen-shaped outline and DVDs will be lucky to be within 5 feet of their cases. The place will be a fire hazard what with the newspaper, magazines and articles covering the carpet. I would come home everyday, take a look at the mess and attempt to clean it up but invariably, the effort will simply amount to the redistribution of said mess.

I wish I could afford leaving alone.

A-Z of New Zealand

2008-02-11T14:02:00.001+08:00

A

Android - My travel companion. She is mostly human-shaped and to the unknowing eyes, just another regular girl in the world. But no! She is kerrr-razzy and comes unhinged in the heat. Also goes by the codename, 'Charm' or the 'Chazmeister'.
Aotearea - The Maori name for New Zealand; 'The Land of the White Cloud'. While I was there, New Zealand was having the best summer in a whole lotta years. Warm sun and little clouds meant perfect vacation weather!

B
BBH - Budget Backpackers Hostel is a network of backpackers and travelers accommodation that runs throughout both islands of New Zealand. The card costs NZ$45 and lasts for a year. What it gets you is a 20 minute phone card as well as NZ$3 off every BBH accommodation, and frankly, the ones we stayed at were really quite nice.
Bluff Hill @ Napier - A short hill climb that gives way to gorgeous views of the Port of Napier as well as the Napier city shoreline. According to the Droid, it would be a good place for 'parking'. I wholly agree.
Bus - is how we got around the island. Intercity bus lines, with routes to almost every city, offer a Flexipass option which allows you to buy blocks of travel time for discounted prices. Just ring up the hot line at least 24 hours before the bus ride and you're all set to go! The service is quite reliable, if stodgy at times. It's always a treat to get an awesome bus driver who offers commentary or smoke breaks.

C

Cape Reinga - where the Tasman Sea and the Pacific Ocean meets. What ensues are huge waves of up to 3-5 meters tall.

Cathedral Cove @ Whitianga - is two gorgeous beaches joined through a hole in the mountain. The surf is great, the water is cold and the hole is massive. Smiles all around!

Central Plateau - is a mountainous region that includes 3 mountains that either were or still are active volcanoes - Mt Ruapehu, Mt Tongariro and Mt Ngauruhoe. The latter (the middle in the picture) is most famous for playing host to the evil lairs of Sauron (Mt Doom) in the Lord of the Rings movie. (See T; Tongariro Crossing)
Child - see A; Android.
Contentment - is sitting on a hammock in Paihia with sunlight filtering through the leaves gently tickling your visual senses as a light cool breeze rustles leaves, creating the soundtrack to the perfect moment.

D
Dalmatians - is what the people who arrive off the Coast of Dalmatia - Yugoslavia, Croatia etc. are referred to by the Northlanders. Wow, that was one really awkward sentence.
Devonport - lovely town located a ferry ride away from Auckland. Round trip ticket will set you back by NZ$15.
Discrimination – see Z; Zorb.

Dolphins - we encountered a swarm/cod/school/wholebunchof (?) of dolphins while on the way to view the Hole in the Rock (see H). It was honestly quite a thrill. ‘So long and thanks for all the fish’ indeed!
Donor Kebab @ Horomotangi St, Taupo - best Middle Eastern food ever! Well, maybe that title might be challenged in Middle East itself, but in New Zealand, they've got the awards to back up that claim. The food is decently priced to boot.

E
Eczema cure ? - At Paihia, I bumped into a man from South Africa who shared his wisdom concerning curing eczema. Apparently the mixture of butter and sulphur makes for a wonderful healing ointment. So when I came across volcanic sulphur soap at White Island, I decided to give that dude a shot. As of now, I have yet to run out of my current soap, so the experimenting hasn't begun. I figured butter was optional in that equation.

Eden, Mt @ Auckland - a mere NZ$3.20 bus ride from the Auckland city centre, the extinct volcano provides lovely views of Auckland that Sky Tower cannot. From the top of Mangawhau (the Maori name), you will be able to look at the other two volcanic cones - One Tree Hill and Auckland Domain. Caution: Beware of cow poop!
Eugoogly #1 - 11/01/08; Sir Edmund Hillary, the explorer passes. New Zealand is in mourning.
Eugoogly #2 - 17/01/08; Brad Renfro, the child actor/addict passes. I go into mourning.
Eugoogly #3 - 18/01/08; While at Taupo, just 200 meters from where we were staying (Rainbow Lodge; see R), a 24 year old Scottish woman, Karen Aim, was mysteriously bludgeoned to death. When I left, the case was still pending.
Eugoogly #4 - 24/01/08; Heath Ledger, the actor passes. The world is shocked.

F
Fish & chips - Quite possibly New Zealand's most famous export behind the All Blacks, Kathmandu and sheep-related products.
Fry bread - a local treat bought at Kuirau Park Flea Market. The dough is a cross between a donut and banana bread. Add butter and/or golden syrup for a sugary treat and you've got yourself lunch!

G

German Angora rabbits @ Waitomo - aka Giant Fluffball of Itch-inducing Soft Angora Hair. Sheared daily at the The Shearing Shed at Waitomo. Also available there are, surprise, angora-related products - jumpers, beanies, whathaveyouse.

Gisborne - the first city in the world to see the sun. The town is surf happy and sun is a-plenty. Also the first place Captain Cook landed on when he discovered New Zealand.
Golden Compass, The - for all its awkward dialogue and exposition, the film delivered much more than I expected. Sufficient seeds were planted so that the following sequels will be fairly entertaining. Watched while waiting for the bus as Whakatane.
Government Gardens @ Rotorua - start at the historic Prince's Gate Arch and walk around the marked trail that leads to among other places, the Rotorua Museum, the historic Blue Baths as well as the perfectly manicured lawns of the Rotorua Croquet Club.

H
Hero - 18/01/08; the Chazmeister aka Android aka My Indentured Servant fetched me my watch that I had left behind in the showers.

Hole in the Rock - Quite literally. The King's Bay of Island tour will take you out there for $115. Along the way, you will most probably see dolphins and even swim with them if conditions are right.
Hot Water Beach @ Whitianga - Through the forces of Magic! (nature), the sand is warm. Dig a hole, settle in and you've got your own mini spa pool. Note: the water is cold. Hence, make-shift spa pool will turn cold upon contact with water.
Huka Falls @ Taupo - a 2.8 km walk (1 hr each way) from the city centre, the walk will take you across a thermal park (really just hot water gushing from a small falls) to the Huka Falls footbridge. You will be able to witness the force of the Waikato River, New Zealand's longest river along the way.

I

Insanity - jumping off 12,000 ft from an airplane and paying $220 to do so! Skydive Taupo will pick you up in a fancy limousine as you head to partake in said insanity.
Islands - On my trip, I learned that New Zealand isn't just made up of a North and South. There are in fact a whole bunch of teeny little islands as well as the Strait Islands.
It by Stephen King - my trusty companion. I expected my favourite book to last the whole trip but I unfortunately finished it off in 8 days. As a result, there were blank gaps that Mills & Boon desperately wished to fill, but my sanity prevailed.

J
Juno Hall @ Waitomo - solid BBH backpackers that have extremely great staff service. Outside in the garden is a trampoline that I took full advantage of too!
Just the Duck Nuts @ Tauranga - Although located a little away from the city central, the awesome place is totally worth the distance. The complimentary pick up/drop off by Sandra, the lovely and generous host, is a total plus. Quaint atmosphere - straight out of a storybook!
. Seriously.

K
Kauri forest - long destroyed, the Kauri trees were once formidable native trees of the North Island. Seriously, they're massive for inexplicable reasons (I don't know why) the forests went extinct. However, scavengers have discovered the remains of the trees under a bog that are still in perfect condition.

Kiwibird - is nocturnal! And can sleep up to 16 hours! All that we found out when we entered a Kiwi enclosure on a clear, hot, sunny day.
Kiwifruit - were once named Chinese Gooseberries. That, I didn't know.
Kuirau Park @ Rotorua - a park located a couple of blocks from the city centre that should be visited by all. One, it offers a good free experience with underground thermal activity - mud pools and steaming lakes. No geysers unfortunately. Two, free warm water public baths for the desperate! On Saturdays, there is a flea market where you can eat to your heart's content fry bread (see F)

L
Language - in Maori, vowels are very pronounced and 'Wh-' is pronounced 'fa'. So Whakatane is not 'wa-ka-tane', but 'fa-ka-ta-ne', as the nice lady on the Intercity hotline explained, while trying hard not to laugh. Whatsthedamnurl..saving you from public embarrassment since 2004!
Llyod's Lodge @ Whakatane - a gorgeous house set a 10 m stroll from town with all the charm of a B&B. Pam, the host, is ever friendly and the chilled out vibe befits those who are looking for some down time. BBH hostel as well.

M

Manganui, Mt @ Tauranga - a 282 meter hill that offers awesome 360 panoramic views of Tauranga and the Bay of Plenty. The walk up is slightly reminiscent to that scene in A Knight's Tale with Alan Tudyk, "Pain? Take the pain!" The surf is great there so after a hard walk up, jump right in the ocean and catch a wave!
Mid-summer murders - Strangely, it appears that come every summer, a spate of eerie murders happen in New Zealand. Ranging from dead babies to finding bodies in rivers, as of January 2008, there has been 9 such tragedies.

N
Naked Bus - No. Not that kind of bus. The company offers cheap direct transportation in between main city centres. Check online website to make bookings: nakedbus.com

Napier - the Art Deco town of New Zealand, according to Lonely Planet. What exactly is 'Art Deco'? Well, I gathered that it refers to the style and architecture from the 1930s. Napier, the town is highly likely to be haunted as a strong earthquake leveled the town in 1931.
Ninety Mile Beach - located at the north of the North Island. Note: The beach is really only 64 km in length.

O
One Tree Hill - the volcanic cone in Auckland, not the terribly teenage soap on CW. Should really be called One Obelisk Hill. The lone tree atop that hill got chopped down a couple years ago because of disease. All that stands now is an obelisk.

P
Pak & Save - super cheap, super great, supermarket. (Did that work?) Located at most central cities it is the cheapest of all supermarkets. We've done our research,
Pickled Parrot's Backpackers Lodge @ Paihia - comes highly recommended. [BBH hostel]

Pohutukawa tree - Commonly referred to as New Zealand's 'Christmas tree', these gorgeous flowers bloom in the summer months and brighten up the landscape with its cheery red flowers.

Q
Quaint - . Yeap. A cowboy in the empty store.

R
Rainbow Lodge Backpackers @ Taupo - New Zealand's first custom built backpackers. It is very efficiently managed and while the distance isn't the most convenient, the great facilities and custom built lodge makes for a perfect accommodation. Plus, free pick up! [BBH hostel]

Rotorua - Sulphur city! Due to underground thermal activity, the strong smell of sulphur permeates the air (and I strongly suspect, will cause the town to fall into itself). The town is also building up to be an action-packed town to rival the likes of Queenstown. Note: The Lonely Planet guide book suggests a walk that is very beneficial to the roving tourist! Rotorua embraces its Maori roots and it's one of the best places to view a cultural performance.

S
Sand Safari @ Kaitaia - highly recommended tour company that takes you out to 90 Mile Beach and the Cape Reinga light house (see C). For NZ$60, you buy yourself a friendly and super informative bus driver, lunch. the sights and a chance to go sand tobogganing.
Sand tobogganing - at Te Paki with Sand Safaris. It's all fun and games until you take a massive face plant and end up with a mouth full of sand.
Surfing with Frank @ Gisborne - NZ$45 will get you lessons, wetsuit and surfboard rental. Frank, who has the laidback airs of a surfer dude, is very friendly and helpful. While the lesson is easy enough to understand, standing up is a whole different thing. The next day, your arms will be hurting something bad, and that's a promise!

T
Taupo - True fact: the size of Lake Taupo is approximately the size of Singapore! Skydiving at Taupo is one of the cheapest and safest in the world with up to 35,000 jumps every year.

Te Puia @ Rotorua - Take the activity shuttle from iSite Rotorua for a small fee and enter the thermal underground with mud pools and a very reliant geyser, Pohutu, erupting regularly 2-3 times every hour. The entrance fee, NZ$50 includes a guided tour, entrance to the Kiwi Enclosure and a cultural performance.
Theme of the month - L for Love!
Tongariro Crossing - located at the National Village, 11/2 hours outside of Taupo, the crossing is often described as New Zealand's 'best one day hike'. It spans 18.5 km (roughly 7-8 hours) and covers the Central Plateau (see C). The hike gives you a chance to view the wild and varied flora of the mountains as well as observe the thermal activity that runs throughout the three mountains. The terrain is rocky and ill-advised for those with knee problems.

U
Unbelievable - the sensation of seeing Lake Taupo at a height of 12,000 ft.

Unfortunate - on the day we did the Tongariro Crossing, the weather was abysmal. Strong winds and mist meant no clear view from the top. Thankfully on our descent, the weather cleared up and we got pretty sweet views of the rest of the mountain.

V
Very NZ -

W

Wai-O-Tapu @ Rotorua - deemed a 'thermal wonderland' by the advertising branch of the company, it certainly lives up to the hype. The Champagne Pool should not be missed, doubly so for the strangely green waters of Devil's Path. NZ$27.50 entrance.
Wellington - New Zealand's capital! Highlights include Cuba Mall (Pegasus Books), the Te Papa National Museum, the $2 return Cable Car Ride that gives you panaromic views of Wellington and Old St Paul's - a grand old church that is so old it is made out of wood.

White Island - New Zealand's only marine volcano is located 49 km off Whakatane. A 6 hour eco-adventure tour with PeeJay may be pricey at $160 but the trip is pleasant, guides are experienced and lunch is provided. Come on. Where else can you say you've toured an active volcano? www.whiteisland.co.nz

X

X-treme! - Caving, also known as spleunking to you American English people. We begin by abseiling 100m down into the cave and from then on it’s an adrenaline packed adventure as we climbed rocks, jumped off cliffs, met the local fauna (glow worms, spiders, eels) and even saw a fossil of a whale! We went for the 7 hour epic adventure with Waitomo Adventures at Waitomo. It's quite hard to describe the majesty of the lush and untouched environment in the caves. I suppose it’s as close as I'll ever get to naturalness of our primitive forefathers.

Y

Young boarders - were riding their hearts out at the Wellington skate park. Bless their little fearless hearts!

Z
Zen – the state of mind as you float along down in a parachute from a height of 3,000 ft.

Zorb – The closest you’ll ever get to being a bubble boy/girl! Either roll down strapped down to the ball or in a water-filled ball. The Droid will attest that the water option is a barrelful of giggles. Note: To select the strapped down option, one needs to be at least 1.6 meters tall. Even if you’re a wee bit off by 0.5 and reeking of desperation, the kind operators at Zorb Rotorua will still politely tell you to piss off. Discrimination, I cry!

Falling. With Style.

2008-02-06T13:32:00.001+08:00

Since everyone keeps asking, here's my take on skydiving:

---

@ Taupo: 18/01/08

Today I flew.

Not much like a bird, or a flying squirrel, or even Superman. No, not quite.

What I technically did was fall. Fall with style.

I fell from a height of 12,000 feet bound to Eric, the dive master, and all that kept me from inevitable death was a bunch of nylon straps and some cloth. Oh, humans and their nifty contraptions!

This morning I had psyched myself up so much to the point where I had filled my stomach with fear and nervousness. At 10.30 am, I was a bundle of nerves - trembling with energy and excitement that can only come from a mixture of adrenaline and panic.

"12,000 feet! That's mental," my gray matter up there screamed.

Every cell in my body said no. My bladder which had already been emptied three times by then was rejecting the notion that falling from 12,000 feet could possibly end well. The muffin bar I had for breakfast sat undigested in my stomach that was already overfilled with trepidation and the previously mentioned emotions. Every atom in my body said no. Yet the confirmation call that went through to Skydive Taupo affirmed my earlier booking. How did that happen?

11.00 am came and the courtesy limo came to pick us mentals up. Charm and I signed away our lives as we filled out the liability form. It was happening then. No turning back. The falling would be happening. And I, a girl, just shy of her 21st birthday would be partaking in said falling.

We got to the centre. Immediately we watched a DVD that briefly chronicled a standard jump. Alright then, that didn’t seem too scary at all, sarcastic quotes in full use. Let's put on our suits and our harness and have the 'safety talk'. My body should have been permeated with nausea by then, yet somehow a strange calm had settled. Everything that I had experienced at 10.30 am that morning was but a distant memory. I was the Zen Master. I was ready to rock and roll.

Having a fantastic dive master helped of course. Eric, from Zimbabwe, was the consummate professional. Cheeky, of course, as most people whose career involve insane amounts of adrenaline. When asked what I should do if the straps didn’t hold, he answered, “Can you flap your arms like a pair of wings?” Brilliant. We waited for our turn and watched as people jumped and completed their parachute ride down. My body was still in its strange Zen mode. The earlier freak outs remained gone.

Finally it was our turn. We climbed up a pink ‘airplane’ - if you’re feeling particularly generous. That flying contraption was honestly nothing but an engine, aluminum and ply glass melded together to resemble an airplane. Small quarters meant that us 9 (4 jumpers, 4 dive masters and 1 pilot) were cramped together. As we ascended, the temperature dropped. The plane got creakier. The ground became smaller. On my left, out the window, I saw clouds in the near distance. This day was beautiful and the jump was going to be awesome.

Now I was strapped on and had my full gear on. It was time. Charm went ahead first and her descent looked perfect. After going through the instructions again, I hopped on over to where the door opened out to blue sky. My feet dangled over the airplane and wind gushed around my it as Eric readied me for the jump.

"Right. No turning back now. Let's do this. And try not to crap my pants while doing it!"

One thumbs up later and we're off. Being in the 'smiling banana' position, sky became ground as we jumped from the plane. Awesomeness just happened. Sitting roller coasters my whole life had prepared me for the dizzying visual sensation but not the next. We're falling!! Wind streamed past my ears and my mind immediately went to that scene with the whale in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!

There was lots of wind. I remember that. And gorgeous views of the land as we fell. We were traveling at speeds of up to 200 km/ph! We continued to fall till 5000 feet when the parachute was pulled. A quick jerk at the hips and we’re falling like a leaf as gravity worked its magic and the parachute glided down to where solid ground was.

I got unbelievable views of the Central Plateau, the town of Taupo and the airstrip. I chatted with Eric about solo jumps. The highest he's ever jumped off is 22,000 feet. Parachutes are deployed at 2000 feet with solo jumps. He did a twirl with the parachute and the ground went 360.

That was madness, yes it was and I am mad for doing it. As I walked across town later today, all I could think as I passed people on the streets was, "Well, I just jumped 12,000 feet today. What did you do?"

As I finish up this unbearable essay, I remain in my Zen Master mode. Strange how this calm endures as normalcy resumes.

Some things to think about

2008-02-05T13:43:00.001+08:00

1. This year the weekend my birthday landed on was completely shithouse. I was in a funk I couldn't break out of and as a result, I acted like a right cunt towards friends who were being so absolutely kind and fantastic. If you're reading this, you know who you are. I am sorry. I'm a terrible bastard.

2. Thanks to good friends and long conversations, I got back to my usual level of not-quite-such-a-douche. If you're reading this, you also know who you are. Thank you for putting up with me.

3. Then while cleaning my house because all that was clean was a 1 m strip of carpet, I came across a bulging envelope. Inside were letters and cards from friends that were sent when I was away. Previous birthday cards, holiday cards, post cards, innocuous letters and snail mail - what a treat. Thank you to everyone who's contributed to that pile. You probably forgot, but if you're wondering if that includes you, odds are, it probably does.

4. It's strange explaining to people who don't celebrate what Chinese New Year is all about. I don't pretend to know the actual meaning behind it - family, food and gambling, no? Even weirder is being constantly reminded that the city will in fact not go into shut down. So the local sundry shop WILL be open? Lies. What a mind trip.

5. I think The Darjeeling Limited is Wes Anderson's best work.

6. In my weekend of self-inflicted funk-itude, I watched all 5 Harry Potter movies. These are some things I learned:
- Daniel Radcliffe does his best work in the presence of Gary Oldman
- Redhead Grint has had very the best comedic timing since the first movie.
- #1 and #2 are virtually unwatchable, in no part because the kids are young and the direction is pretty unfulfilling.
- #3 is the best of the lot.
- This is closely followed by #5.
- Helena Bonham Carter is a goddess.
- Daniel Radcliffe is pretty damn spunky.

7. The nose is one of the worst places on the entire body to get an itch. Not enough skin and too much angles equates to much unsatisfactory scratching.

8. The soundtrack to Across The Universe is almost sublime. I could have done without 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' and would have much preferred Jim Sturgess' 'All You Need is Love'. Nonetheless, 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' and 'Strawberry Fields Forever' are legendary.

9. Christ! Wikipedia says that there is a deluxe edition of the Across The Universe OST roaming around somewhere with addition of said song above. Guess we're back to hunting record stores.

10. I've been following the US Presidential Nomination campaign quite closely. It's rather interesting how in both parties (Democrats especially), the nom is relatively wide open for grabs. Very interesting indeed.

21 things in 7 minutes

2008-02-01T16:33:00.001+08:00

To be quite honest, I never really understood the big deal about turning 21. So yeah, I can vote, I can drink, I can gamble, I am accountable for everything from now on. I can legally go into the Sex shop and not get worried about being chased out. I can watch every type of movie ever created if I so please, I can eat, drink, buy almost everything under the sun. I am an adult.

But 21 is just a number. It doesn't mean that things in life are going to change. Tomorrow my room is still going to be a mess and my books are going to stay spread all over the floor. I won't stop giggling over fart jokes and I sure as hell ain't going to be growing any taller. The dishes in the sink won't magically wash themselves, nor will the clothes in the laundry hamper or the floor that needs vacuuming.

So, please. Someone. Anyone. Please tell me what's the big friggin' deal about 21?

And so we meet again.

2008-01-24T18:10:00.002+08:00

Here I sit on the grey carpet of the Wellington Airport. The departure hall is quiet, one sole cafe/bar open catering to the other life forms that have the unfortunate luck of pulling the midnight flight. As my flight is an insanely early 6.50 am flight, I've decided to stay the night at the airport rather than fork out a night's worth of too-short-to-be-called-sleep at the downtown backpackers. "I've done this before in Sydney, why not again?", I figured. Thank goodness for the free Wi-Fi Internet at the airport. Double thank goodness-es for the fact that I have my laptop with me. My laptop may not be able to produce sounds or not lag or log onto the broadband Internet I have at Melbourne, but at least it's wireless card is working splendidly.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I've had to cut my trip short by 7 days. Instead of a round month, I will have spent 25 days in the North Island of New Zealand. Oh but don't worry, dear Aotearea, I will be back for you once again.

Note #1: I've had to delete 200 emails on top of 700 other piled up junk from my Gmail account. For reasons of keeping my sanity intact, I am choosing to ignore the fact that I have two other active e-mail accounts.

Note #2: My Facebook homepage depresses me. There are over a hundred worth of invites to games, applications and what-have-yous I will have to ignore. Can't there be a mass cull button installed please, Mr Zuckerberg?

You, Me and Everyone We Know

2007-12-06T20:26:00.001+08:00

This is one of my favourite-st quotes from a TV programme ever.

The people you work with, are people you were just thrown together with. You don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family, but probably all you've got in common, is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day.

I ruminate a lot on the accuracy and poignancy of this quote whenever my mind wanders. After that, I smile when I think how Tim and Dawn end up together as you knew they should be from the start.

---

I wish there was a way to bundle everyone I love into a little tugboat so that I may never be without their company ever again. Everyone is scattered all over the place - technology is the glue that holds us all together. Technology isn't even concrete; it could be taken away from us with the destruction of a limb from the Machine. I am constantly guilty of taking advantage of it's infinite pervasiveness. "Oh yeah, I'll call home tomorrow." Tomorrow becomes the next day and the day after, and before I know it, two weeks later I hear the voice of a disappointed father on the end of the line.

Apparently, in my world, communication and the act of communicating is highly dependent on physical proximity.

Bet?

2007-11-30T01:52:00.001+08:00

Thanks to the public of Australia voting in Kevin Rudd as the new PM, I can do this:

and this;

Also, this:

Word to the wise: I take my bets very seriously.

epiphany!

2007-11-15T01:07:00.001+08:00

I realized not two minutes ago that nothing offends me more than bad comedy. It gets under my skin and infuriates me to the point where I feel rage thinking and talking about it. Bad comedy is quite different from stupid comedy. Stupid comedy, say the Farelly brothers, can be funny (There's Something About Mary more so than Stuck on You). Bad comedy on the other hand is insulting. It's offensive because it treats the audience as if we have the collective intelligence of desiccated coconut. To me, bad comedy is essentially lazy comedy. Lazy gags, lazy writing and with very little execution. Bad, bad, bad, terrible. Is it no surprise then that a lot of bad comedy is made up of un-clever stereotypes? Oh, you mean you like pizza, have a thick moustache, and is always horny? You must be Italian! Let's make you female just to really drive the point home!

Jesus.

Trivia: The only two movies I've ever turned off in my life are National Lampoon's: Van Wilder and Employee of the Month.

FACT: A comedy is going to be terrible if it has Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds. True story.

Srs Bizness

2007-11-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

via MonkeyJedi.

More amusing LOLHowards at the source.

Psychologize me

2007-11-04T18:28:00.000+08:00

I found this test to be most accurate in describing my personality. It is based on Carl Jung and Isabel Myer-Briggs typological approach to personality. Two points to the test for being based off renowned contributors to the study of psychology. But minus one for being found on the Internet which is just inherently dodgy.

Take it here.

I am an Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving, ISTP, kinda person. Here is my favourite line off the profile which I thought described me down to a T.

"...communication also tends to be a key issue, since they generally express themselves non-verbally. When they do actually verbalize, ISTPs are masters of the one-liner, often showing flashes of humor in the most tense situations; this can result in their being seen as thick-skinned or tasteless."

If I had a dollar for everytime I've been reprimanded for doing so, I wouldn't be able to wear my pants! You know... because I would have plenty of dollars... that are heavy... hence the pants dropping.

Ahem.

Alright, so maybe "master of one-liners" was a bit of a stretch.

Erm....

2007-11-03T16:08:00.000+08:00

From Gerard Way, lead singer, of My Chemical Romance.

How would you describe the kids that love your band?
Extremely creative, intelligent, expressive and very individual, aside from liking to wear black.

via ONTD.

The Wongs meet Web 2.0!

2007-11-03T08:00:00.000+08:00

Hi dear,

This is my new email address.Learning from scratch.Never too old to learn, right. Do keep in touch with me.

Your old man.Luv.

Oh man. On that same day, I found out my sister has a working email address.

-dies in shock, mid-laughter-

One of these things is not like the other.

2007-10-30T13:09:00.001+08:00

As I walked around doing my much delayed grocery shopping today, I noticed that the gaze of a multitude of people often landed at my midriff. It was weird. I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Not a midriff baring one, mind you. I never went down that path, not even in '01 when the Britneys and Christinas of the world were championing it. So what was up? I hadn't eaten anything so it was impossible that something had spilled there. Did I wear my shirt inside out? A quick touch at the back of my neck indicated other wise. Maybe it's just my paranoia working in overdrive, I thought.

Then the shop boy at the butcher stall grinned and said, "Nice shirt."

I looked down.

Oh, yeah.

***This is a reminder of how my general awesomeness translates to really awesome attire. You may glance in awe and cower at the feet of my awesome shoes. That is all.***
---

I'm not really a fashion forward kind of girl. Not counting groceries and food, I haven't paid full retail price in a really, really long time. Almost everything I own came discounted, thrifted or from eBay. Unsurprisingly, my style is not what you would consider trendy. So it's really hard for me to understand some of the things people wear in the name of fashion.

Today, while on the streets I walked past a lady who was wearing, what I call, MC Hammer pants.
Yeap. Right down to the unnecessary voluminous hips to the tapered ankles. I saw it once in a store but I didn't think anyone would actually buy into it. I get that there's been some weird '80s revival going on in the fashion world but that's not even the glamorous part of 80s fashion! Rayban aviators, no problemo. The flouro colours, if I have to. But MC-Hammer-pants?! Jesus. Why don't you just throw in shoulder pads while you're scarring my vision and life?

Another thing that I don't get:

To the two guys I saw walking down Swanston Street yesterday: Actually, all guys of Melbourne. Victoria. Australia. The World. If John Rhys-Meyers doesn't look good in it, chances are, you're not going to either.

The model at American Apparel looks seminally better but that's because of the second layer and the fact that he looks like the bastard child of Seth Green and Breckin Meyer, who I both love unabashedly. Stick to skinny ties, fitted jeans and folded three quarter button down shirts, alright? Alternatively wear vintage tees or check-ed Western shirts. You'll thank me later when the trend passes and there isn't photographic evidence of you indulging in such fashion atrocities.

Truth and truth

2007-10-27T06:08:00.000+08:00

Lies I have told as a barista

- Yeap. That's decaf.

- Oh yeap. That's definitely skinny milk.

- Oh no. I don't judge (how much sugar you put in your coffee). I just serve. I totally do.

- You're my favourite regular.

- Sorry, we've ran out of _____. Mostly, I'm too lazy.

- Sorry. The cafe is closed.

- Sure, we'll get married tomorrow.

Lies I have told as a barrister
:: slow clap ::

We are one push away from the nest

2007-10-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

A year ago, I was marvelling over the progress we've made in developing video-sharing capabilities on the Internet. YouTube had become a verb in our everyday lexicon and Google had just purchased YouTube for a mind-boggling amount of money.

October '07: The observations of a passive YouTube user. YouTube remains what it is. We get the funny animals, music videos and people playing the theme to Mario using a variety of musical instruments. Sure, NBC and other official TV networks may have an official 'director' pages now, but that is hardly ground breaking. Skilled users could have just as easily ripped the very same content from their official website. For the most part, things remained the same. The same grainy low-quality videos existed and proliferated throughout the system.

And then Adobe, of the magical Flash player that YouTube and most video sharing websites utiliz, launched their Moviestar version of flash player. High definition TV quality for the Web? The future never seemed more promising. Yet there was talk of a revolution, but little action. Until now.

Vimeo has taken up the challenge and launched HD quality videos on their site. And the result is nothing short of amazing. For far too long we've come to accept crappy quality videos as the only option. Vimeo is leading the charge in the HD Video Revolution, and it is a hell of a promising start. Here's a wake up call to other video-sharing sites. It's time to bring your A game, fellas. Cause now that we've had a taste of it, it's fair to say that we're not going to expect complacency for much longer.

Article: Vimeo Showcases the Future of HD Web Video on Computer.

Hello Darkness, my old friend

2007-10-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

Would that one could be alive and living, not just merely existing.

Sad

2007-09-16T10:44:00.001+08:00

Actual work shift = 5.45 am - 10 am.

Finish time = 8.30 am.

Me = :D

Call from work at 12.24 pm = "Uh oh".

Second shift for the day = 4 - 8 pm.

Hence, me = :C

Holiday, celebrate!

2007-09-13T17:01:00.001+08:00

My holiday starts next week. Or technically after 6 pm tomorrow. It goes for two weeks and if it isn't glaringly obvious enough, I'm super excited. I have recently purchased a whole bunch of books that I'm looking forward to get into.

- Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead
- Ayn Rand's Atlas, Shrugged
- Ralph Hoover's Jabberwocky
- Stephen King's The Dark Tower Book #1 (on Nick's recommendation)
- Robert Harris' Fatherland (which is based on a re-imagined world where Hitler had triumphed)
- Maria Hsia Chang's The End of Days: Falun Gong (cause nobody, not even Wikipedia, can explain that movement/cult properly to me)
- Robert M. Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (which I've only been looking for since I was 16! Thank you, eBay!)
-Francis M. Tyrell's Man: Believer and Unbeliever

And that is just one reason why I can never leave Australia. The cost of posting all my books to Malaysia will equate to buying a small house in India.

::edit::

So as not to prove that I'm not a total loser who spends her holiday hiding from the sun, being couped up under the covers, reading for two weeks (spank you very much, tcc):

1. I will be going to exhibit my mad fangirl-ness for Michael Cera and the other stars of Superbad when they attend the premiere of said movie on Monday.

2. I fully intend to watch a lot of movies; the Disney French Rat one, Once, The Lookout, Superbad, Stardust (yes, it warrants a second viewing), Hairspray, December Boys, The Dark is Rising, Underdog etc. J/K about the last one. Just wanted to see if you actually finished reading that sentence.

3. Go shopping in real life. I'll be the first to admit that I'm totally eBay's bitch, but nothing beats bargain shopping in real life.

4. Sort out stuff to sell on eBay.

5. Swap DVDs with friends from all over AKA spread the holy gospel of Arrested Development (as of today: 2 converted).

6. Have SMDU-reunion. I still need to discuss this with my co-planner but by hook or by crook, it will be done!

7. Going to the mountains in the second week of the break!

8. Possibly, maybe have a housewarming since official roommate is finally back.

9. Paint a whole bunch of stuff red because my room lacks colour.

10. Steal more milk crates cause my books are exploding off the ones I have now.

Oh man.

I just reread all that.

So much for proving my non-lameness. You win, Chen Chou.

Update

2007-09-08T19:52:00.001+08:00

-Concerts these days are a funny affair. In what is supposed to be a dramatic moment minutes before the band comes on stage in the seconds where the auditorium is pitch black, the illusion is ruined by the caustic glare off camera screens, cameras off phones (LOL. Don't get me started) and flash from said cameras.

It's to be expected of course. Everyone wants memories of the experience. Technology has made it so that everyone is equipped to catch the quintessential money shot or the next best version they can get. I'm guilty of doing it myself. Yet, in the midst of snapping, reviewing and trying to figure out the best setting in such unpredictable lighting, I can only hope that people don't forget that they're there first and foremost for the music. It's great to have awesome pics for the picture book but if at the end of the night your voice isn't hoarse from screaming/cheering/cat-calling the hot bassist in the band and your arm doesn't hurt from clapping and rocking out, you did it wrong mate.

- Guaranteed recipe for disaster: Having cafe training periods on a Saturday morning from 8 am to 11 am. The trainer and the trainee are the Mentos to the unrelenting customers that make up the Diet Coke component in this metaphor. Messy, messy badness is the conclusion.

- Here's what parents should not do to enforce middle child syndrome on the kid born in the middle: Forget about them and then admitting to their mistake. If necessary, spin some bullshit excuse as to why your kid is penniless and skipping classes to work to pay rent.
Sorry doesn't pay the bills. Sorry doesn't negate the lack of attention. Sorry doesn't help with their self-esteem issues of constantly being overlooked. Also, Mr and Mrs Wong, it would help if you call and actually talk to Karen about Karen (what a concept) and not whine about the eldest or worry about the youngest. Please and thank you, love, said whinging middle child.

- Oh my god. Interwebs, beware. Angsty middle child with a blog on the loose.

- I'm also really over being mistaken for looking older than I actually am. Twenty four? Twenty four?! Come on!!

- And for Jon, because I promised you the LOLZ!11!!

Girlfriend

2007-08-27T00:47:00.000+08:00

This is the reason why Girlfriend got stuck in my head to begin with:

Wait for the sick 'guitars' from 2:11 to 2:18. And here's the recently released lyrics so you can sing along (cause you know you just want to)!

Hey hey bro bro
I don’t like your girlfriend
No dude no dude
I don’t want her around me
Hey hey bro bro
Can’t you dump your girlfriend?

Hey hey bro bro
You know she doesn’t like me
No dude no dude
I don’t want to see her
Hey hey bro bro
I want to kill your girlfriend

Best friend of mine ‘member the times we used to kick it?
Us hanging out every day it was the sickest.
Don’t you know that if you ditch that bitch we’ll chill all night (all night, all night)
Don’t pretend I think you know we had a friendship
and hell yeah bro, I really fucking miss it
I can tell you miss it too and That aint right.

She’s like a fucking headache
So take a stand, dude for our sake
I think you should dump that fugly cow
That’s what all the guys are talking about!

hey hey bro bro
We don’t like your girlfriend
No dude no dude
She’s ruining our summer
Hey hey bro bro
can’t you dump your girlfriend?

Hey hey bro bro
No one likes your girlfriend
No dude no dude
I’m not even kidding
Hey hey bro bro
I want to punch your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way she looks at me
and then she turns to you and probably makes fun of me
A friend would never let a girl come between us like that (like that like that)
So come over here and say it to me, to my face.
bring your girl, I wanna put that bitch in her place
I can’t believe you would do this to the bond that we had

Cuz she’s like a deadly cancer
It really shows you who your friends are
One last chance, dump your girlfriend now
or the dudes and I are walking out!

hey hey bro bro
We don’t like your girlfriend
No dude no dude
She’s ruining our summer
Hey hey bro bro
can’t you dump your girlfriend?

Hey Hey Bro bro
think she’s cheating on you
Yeah dude yeah dude
I saw her with some guy
Hey hey bro bro
Just trying to help you

You’re a bitch, she’s got you wrapped around her finger
Dude I know, I know you really sweat her
But she’s cheating, you’re looking like a moron
Drop the bitch dude, and come and get your beer on

(repeat)

Hey hey bro bro
Glad you dumped your girlfriend
No dude no dude
You made a good decision
Hey hey bro bro
Now we can be best friends

best buds, best buds

(repeat till end)

From CollegeHumor and lyrics by Streeter Seidell.

The most random things happened on Friday

2007-08-26T01:55:00.001+08:00

- In my Friday tute, one guy walked in wearing a vintage denim jacket. We're talking acid wash, straight from the 80s genuine vintage. The whole class agreed it was massively cool. And it was! Yet I had never been more appalled and strangely fascinated by a piece of clothing. Fashion has been going through an 80s revival for a while now. Some piece of clothings (tights), more successful than others (mom jeans). Seriously speaking though, acid wash is something no one should ever have to go through twice in their life. Unless it's at least 20 years old. Walking up to Supre and getting an acid wash jeans jacket somehow just isn't quite the same.

- Also in that same tute, someone came to class dressed in a pinstripe blue suit with Chucks on their feet and a pair of brown-rimmed classes. Much like this!

Turns out he was going to the Melbourne Uni Science Ball themed "Out of This World". I just about died when the dude pulled out a sonic friggin' screwdriver out of his pocket. That is just simply too damn awesome! Or we as a class are just too collectively geeky..

- Also for some reasons (I like to think because as a writing class, we've got to have good tastes), the majority of people in that same tute watch the same shows I watch. So after geeking out on Doctor Who, for some reason we started quoting Arrested Development. "Come on!" "I've made a huge mistake." "I'm the world's first analyst and therapist, 'analrapist'." It goes on.

- For all my talk of desperation, I ended up missing the Shout Out Louds concert on Friday. Instead, I caved to peer pressure and ended up bowling with the Maccas crew and Charm. It was amusing to see how competitive guys can get over the littlest sport. I think all that testosterone in the air made my arms a tad bit hairier.

- Right now I've got two songs stuck in my head:
Ashlee Simpson - Boyfriend
and
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

I could point out how "that's soooo funny" but my ears are still bleeding from the vocals while the throat is going hoarse from singing along. But it still doesn't stop. Add My Chemical Romance's "Welcome to the Black Parade" into the mix occasionally and this is what I mumble while alone:

"When I was a young boy,
my father took me into the city,
to hey hey, you you!
I don't like your girlfriend!
(no way no way)
she's ruining our summer,
WE'LL CARRYYYY ON!! WE'LL CARRRRRYYY ON!
THOUGH YOU'RE DEAD AND GONE BELIEVE ME
I didn't steal your boyfriend."

Then my mind spontaneously combusts and the horror ends. A girl can wish.

Sleeping on the job

2007-08-20T04:58:00.001+08:00

I can now use that phrase both figuratively AND literally.

Having slept 45 minutes over the weekend, I was brain dead and zombie quick (assuming we're not talking about the Dawn of the Day remake) during my shift on Sunday. It didn't help that it was the set up shift at 5.45 am. By 6.30, I was yawning like my life depended on it. By 7, I was walking as fast as the geriatric regulars who pop in for their obligatory Sunday muffins and lattes.

Then it happened.

I actually fell asleep while making a coffee.

No, really. I did.

It was a mocha. I remember putting the chocolate powder into the cup while fighting and struggling hard against the charms of the Sandman. Then the next thing I know, the heated milk jug is burning my hand. I stopped the steam wand. Wiped the spilled milk and took a look around. The chocolate powder container had been covered and put back into place. The coffee was in the cup ready for the milk to transform it from an espresso to a latte. It was routine as usual, yet I remember none of it. Exsqueeze me, but when did that happen?!

The 40 winks shuteye was good though. After that I had enough energy to last till I was done. Anyway if I wasn't feeling a smidgeon refreshed after the too-short-to-be-called-nap, the next order of 10 standard cappuccinos sure did wake me plenty.

So yeah, I astound myself. I always knew I can sleep anywhere but standing up? That's whole new unexplored territory!

*****

In other news, thanks to Charmain of the Crazy Baker Woman fame, I got a free pass to watch an early preview of Stardust. It is so friggin' ace to watch one of my most anticipated movies of the year a whole month before it opens on general release!! And the movie? Well, to put it shortly, I fucking love it. Proper review when I get the time (and please excuse the pimpage) over here. Please hunt it down and watch it at theatres near you!

The future

2007-08-17T01:11:00.000+08:00

At 3.43 am on Wednesday, 15 August 2007, I had a startling revelation. I knew exactly what my future held for me.

I will grow old and take up my birthright as the neighbourhood cat lady. I will be that old woman who has somehow collected dozens + many more cats in her life. My life, as I know it, will be overrun with cats.

Except because I might or might not be allergic to cats, I'll have a slightly deviated path from the token cat lady. Call me the modern cat lady. Instead of collecting cats, I'll instead have a large collection of cats of the lol variety. Y'know.. the lolcats.

Since realizing my imminent future, I've embraced it without reservations and in fact have decided now is a good time as ever to start.

Oh, trust me. There are many, many more saved on my hard disk.

Oh, Jon!

2007-08-14T19:02:00.000+08:00

karen says:
if you don't get hungry easily now, then why did you eat so much in malaysia?
->> j o n™ <<- says:
hahahaha because that one i guess its because of the climate change

Shout Out Louds

2007-08-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

On the off chance, you're my friend who likes jangly pop music by a Swedish band in the vein of The Shins and will be in Melbourne on August 24th, or some random dude who arrived here through the algorithms of Google after a search for the Melbourne Shout Out Louds gig, well, (and this is where any remaining shred of shame swooshes out my life) want to go or care for a friendly tag along for the Shout Out Louds, Corner Hotel, Aug 24th gig?

I'm pretty sure I'll go even if it means going alone. Cock it. You only live once, right? But it can't hurt casting out this wide net in the wide spaces of the intrawebs to see if I reap any results.

3304 - the refugee safehouse

2007-08-09T00:42:00.001+08:00

My apartment has magical qualities. It attracts houseguests of the unwanted variety.

Take roommate #1 for example. Her boyfriend came and occupied the couch for a week and a half. He cooked the best smelling Asian meals but never offered any. He and his girlfriend were from the hardcore Mandarin speaking districts of China, so all their conversations seemed like arguments to my virgin ears. It only took the girl actually throwing food onto the floor for me to realize that an actual fight was going on. He wasn't rude but he smoked, so he stunk anyway. And best yet, the dude isn't even cute or have a good body to perve at. Call me superficial but if some dude is going to crash at my place, at least have the decency to be perve-worthy, you know? It's total incentive for me to not mind a hot dude staying. Especially if he sleeps without a shirt. Anyway, roommate #1 left for China permanently 2 days ago. He sent her off to the airport and for reasons that are escaping my head, came back here to sleep. He woke up 12 hours later, ate some noodles and did his laundry. Roommate #2 and I wanted to kick him out but we figured he was heartbroken and all that rot. Anyway, the dude finally left for good today. Turns out his cooking smelled so damn good because he used up all my garlic. Cheers, ya twat!

And now a female friend of roommate #2 has been sleeping over. Apparently she's fighting with her boyfriend. I honestly don't care anymore. I need to find the biggest dude I know and sponsor him our couch just because.

Jon, September break, yeah?

Lesson learned from these experiences:
Relationships are nothing but trouble. Even more so if your house happens to be a haven for all in need.

In other news

2007-08-02T16:25:00.000+08:00

- It turns out that prepping for the interview was a lot more nerve-wrecking than the actual interview. Of course, now I have to write it, and transcribing a taped interview is something I've never done before. This is kind of interesting.

- Rupert Murdoch takes over ~~the world!~~ Dow Jones.
In the past I have only half-seriously quipped that Murdoch is secretly pulling the strings behind world events. The joke is on you, idiot.

The pout is the proverbial cherry on the wave of anti-David Beckhamanism, no? Way to get the message across dude-in-the-white-bandanna!

Something tells me that dude-in-the-white-bandanna wouldn't have given Nicole his stamp of approval either.

Zombie nation!

2007-08-01T19:43:00.001+08:00

This is why I love my friends. And also why Snakes and the Chairman is never to leave the country ever again.

Tomorrow not for the first time ever I will be interviewing someone for an article. For the first time ever though, the article will get published. I hardly ever get nervous, not even when it's 3.20 pm and I'm 350 words away from finishing an essay that is due at 4. This random spurts of energy and adrenaline is rather interesting.

For the first time ever, here's something I wrote that I actually like!

Let me preface this review by stating the cardinal rule of theatre: Show up on time or don’t bother showing up at all. It’s an age old adage. One of few responsibilities an audience member has (no mobile phones or talking during the performance either). It is merely a simple sign of respect for the actors and production crew, who have choreographed, timed and perfected their piece without including interruptions of the whispered “so sorry, excuse me, had car troubles etc..” kind. The illusion of the performance on stage is shattered whenever some dickhead stumbles in the dark, groping for a spare seat while trying to do it as quietly (never works, mate) as possible.

-exhales-

It feels good to get that off my chest. I suppose it shall not come as a surprise when I reveal that there were a fair number of stragglers who crashed their way into the theatre much later after Romeo and Juliet had started. Cheers, tossers!

Too bad it had to be cut due to word space constraints.

Alanis, now this is irony.

Oi, you racist!

2007-07-27T22:10:00.001+08:00

Actually, it's more like 'national-ist'. Spank you very much.

Differentiating McDonald's customers by their nationality.

Australians - Cheeseburgers, Big Macs, Quarters.. they are a red meat loving lot.

The Australian vegetarian - will order a Big Mac with no meat. And fries. And an apple pie.

Singaporeans - are the only customers who request for no tartare sauce on their Fillet burgers. Usually of the female gender. Coincidentally, their physiques usually resemble a really really thin rail.

Malaysians - usually request for ketchup instead once they find out that a sweet and sour sauce packet costs 50 cents.

Indians - "What item on your menu has no meat?" For some reason, also dislikes ice in their cokes. Only 1% uses their Ps and Qs when ordering. Will usually ignore when I say "Thank you, come again." Dudes, it's comedy gold!

The Japanese - Almost always order a "Mc-Ozzie". Will then get flustered when I say, "a McOz (pronounced Aus.) in a meal or by itself?"

Americans - only ever have their coffee black. Double quarter pounders and triple cheeseburgers sell really well with this crowd.

The English and the Irish- Regardless of what they order, are usually rather curt. Unless drunk.

Ze French- love their cafe lattes.

The Italians - will sip their machiattos while having a boisterous chat that will attract the attention of other customers.

The Chinese - will almost always require a translator or a Mandarin speaking server. Regardless of explanation or gesturing will usually end up choosing either the fish or chicken burger. Will go on to glare and give me the evil eye when I answer to being Chinese but not speaking Mandarin.

But before I go, let me get my pent up typing need out of the way..

2007-07-20T19:41:00.000+08:00

In my previous Internet-less state, I typed out my thoughts and opinions on last season's US television series. Partly because I've been meaning to give my two cents on the shows that I watch and also because the need to type was driving me insane. Except I'm just too lazy to edit it. So it'll be posted someday later.

In the meanwhile, to soothe myself, here's one of those tag things I generously helped myself to from my brother's blog.

1. What were you doing at 5:00 this morning?
Zzzzz-ing.

2. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
On the mobile with my brother.

3. Who was the last person who broke your heart?
No one. Maybe when I was 11 and Stephen Gately came out of the closet.

4. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"But if I have cereal for dinner then who's gonna eat the rice?"

5. How many different things did you drink today?
OMG. This cereal is awesome.

6. What was the last thing you bought?
For real. Forget the rice. I'm having another bowl of cereal.

7. Where do you live?
Hmmmm. Yummy cereal. What was the question?

8. How was your day yesterday?
Right. To recap, I drank water, Fanta and milk today. Bought moisturiser last. And am currently in an apartment in Melbourne. My yesterday was pretty alright, thanks for asking.

9. What is the last ice cream flavour you ate?

Vanilla.

10. Are you an optimistic one?
I'm the "On the bright side.." girl in my group of friends.

11. Do you think your okay?
It's YOU'RE. Not your. And dude, I'm the be all and end all of fucking awesome people there ever was and that will come. I do have unusually high self-esteem and confidence, how did you guess?

12. Do you talk a lot?
As a general rule, no.

13. Are you happy with the love of your life right now? Why?
I am the love of my life. Hence, yes.

14. Do you skip meals?
I forget to eat.

15. Do you consider yourself smart?
Smarter than some, dumber than most.

16. Do you cook your own food?
Not well.

17. Reason for living?
Just because.

18. Are you typically a jolly person?
I'm all about death and destruction, Wiccan rituals and sacrificial offerings. I'm usually happy when I'm doing those.

19. Name one enemy of yours?
My genes.

20. Name one close friend.
I nearly spilled my cereal on my bed! Jeez, that was close. That would have been disastrous for the evening I had planned - lots of bumming with very little movement.

21. Who's first person in your phonebook?
Aaron.

22. Song playing at the moment
None. I didn't turn on my iTunes.

23. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.

24. Is there something you want to tell someone?
You mean apart from the other 23 answers I've just typed out to the 23 questions that were asked?

25. How many kids do you want to have?
I'm going to fail as a mom. I'll do the future generation a favour and have none.

26. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Yes.

27. Do you wanna change your name?
I used to. As documented before, I think my parents failed when it came to giving me a name that could be immediately shortened to a nickname.

28. What time did you wake up today?
10-ish.

29. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Carnivale.

30. Name something you CANNOT wait to do?
Well, Harry Potter book #7 is being released tomorrow..

31. Last time you saw your father
On the 11th of July

32. Have you ever donated money to a good cause?
To unworthy ones too!

33. Who's getting on your nerves right now?
Me. My skin keeps fucking around with me.

34. Most visited webpage?
My Gmail account.

35. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke.

36. Last person you added on MSN/YM.
What the hell is a YM? And what is this MSN that you speaketh of?

37. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past 2 weeks?
People will do anything at my expense.

38. Do you disagree with a lot of things going on in the world?
Yes.

39. Do you enjoy your friendship with your friends?
Immensely.

40. What is your status?
'Too awesome to function'.

41. Do you cry most of the time you have problems?
No. Apparently now I cry at stupid movies.

42. Did you have a fight with someone today?
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

43. Who cheers you up the most in your life?
It's not really a question of who but what. To which the answer would be anything. That being said, when I'm not yelling at my brother to stop being a wuss, we get along like two straw villages on fire on a windy day.

44. Do you like to chat?

No.

45. Do you like to laugh?
What the hell kind of question is this? Next you'll be asking me whether I like to breathe. Or whether I like hearing things. Dumbass.

46. Last text msg from?
It's just occurred to me that I have no explanation for why I seem to be conversing with the tag thing.

47. Last food?
Your mum.

48. What's your opinion about long distance relationship?
My opinion is of inconsequence.

49. Do you know someone engaged in a long distance relationship?
Yes.

50. Have you ever taken a relationship with someone you didn't love?
Heh. "taken a relationship". Like I just picked up a relationship with someone I didn't love at the nearby Macca's drive in?

51. Have you ever hurt someone whom you love so much?
Once upon a time.

52. Do you have something you must do right now?
Consider whether I want a third bowl of cereal.

And so I'm off again.

2007-07-20T18:13:00.001+08:00

Apparently my Internet connection isn't quite as stable as thought. I'll have to relive those dark days of not knowing the weather, tabloid news, world news, no surfing Flickr, no reading blogs and no email. If I was religious, I'd pray for strength.

A month ago I was taking time off from work and slacking off cause I was under the delusion that I had enough money in the bank to subsidise said slacking off. Yesterday I paid rent for the month of July and August as well as the bond. So now I'm broke again. It was fun times when working was optional. And in the month I don't have enough money even for a haircut that is desperately needed, my phone bill is three times what I normally pay. I'm dreading the day the money is taken out of my bank.

It's strange how I'm looking forward to school.

I need the structure muchly.

There ain't no party like a douchebag parrrrtay!

2007-07-19T18:57:00.001+08:00

Damn straight!

I'm up and around. Fulfilling plans, making schedules and forgetting to eat. Which would be great for weight loss if it didn't end with me shovelling food down my belly at 9.24 in the night.

I've taken to exercising my inner Narcissus and have developed pictures that I've taken that I liked and hung up on the wall for decoration in my new apartment. It's such a wanker thing to do, but guess who's got two thumbs and is a wanker on most occasions? Yeap. Right here, bud!

Knowing that my brother is in the country but in a different state puts me in two state of minds. The first where I'm happy that he's here but not here HERE, the second where I find myself wishing that I came home to his inane jokes and lameness everyday. The both of us are douchebag magic together.

That being said, it will probably never fail to scar me a little every time someone confuses my brother and I for a pair of lovebirds. I know I'm 20 but fuck me. I'll be 50 and that kind of shit will still be wigging be out. It's just wrong people!

I went to a party the other day and a girl walked in wearing the exact same dress I was wearing. Now THAT was a real 'Oh, fuck me.' moment if there ever was one.

It only took me 20 years but I think I have finally matured emotionally enough to at least start crying in movies. I'm not telling which movie I recently teared up in because it is just too damn embarrassing. Nothing beats the sobfest that my viewing of Pan's Labyrinth degenerated into though.

Question of the moment
Would you rather sit through a Lord of the Rings or a Harry Potter movie marathon where you watch all chapters of the movie back to back? Actually the better question is, would you rather sit through ALL the extra features on the three chapters of LotR or wince your way through the first and second HP movie- the one where the kids kid act their way through the movie (although to be fair, Jake Llyod in Star Wars #1 took the prize for 'Best' Kid Acting award in the new millenium)?

Today I got licked on my face by a friend. Cootiesssss, ew!

And that folks, is my way of updating a month's worth of events.

Procrastination

2007-06-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

I never learn.

I had time to go watch Knocked Up.
Had time to sell stuff on eBay.
Had time to go to the Sneakers Exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria.
Had time to hang out.
Had time to work.
Had time to go watch Transformers.
Had time to google Megan Fox and wonder why she looks so plastic when she's only a year older than me. I mean, seriously. Lindsay Lohan looks trashed and aged but not plastic. What is the deal with Fox?
Had time to watch Big Brother.
Had time to plan for yum cha tomorrow morning.

And yet all my belongings in the world are still in their respective places and not bundled up in boxes and trash bags. I've had to turn down a friend's 21st party, granted it was 2 hours outside of Melbourne, and had to turn down the offer of being on a guest list. Admittedly I'm not exactly too busted up about missing out on the club. I love my friends but I don't love R'n'B. Hip hop and rap I can do. Put on Rihanna and Fiddy Cent and I'm gone. Anyway, I'm moving again. What's new in your world?

There's this girl at work who I'm so thankful for. She teaches me about the intricacies of The White Stripes and Tool and I tell her about Arctic Monkeys and The Shins. Thank goodness for someone who understands my dislike for R'n'B and trance music.

And now I'm writing about the time I've wasted and chicks with awesome music taste, ironically wasting time that should be spent on packing. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Sausagefest + some truths

2007-06-29T00:38:00.001+08:00

In my 20 years of living, I've watched many films. Been to a couple of movie premieres even. But never in my life have I attended a movie on its premiere night and have to queue up to get into the cinema. Even though the seats were assigned. Basically 95% of the audience were 20+ year olds males who were reliving their childhood with the action bonanza that was Transformers and no doubt wetting themselves as said action extravaganza unfolded. How many ways can you say SAUSAGEFEST? I won't lie. I enjoyed myself. The script exceeded my expectations and the action.. dare I say Michael Bay outdid his previous fares? Not an easy feat since we're talking about Michael freakin' Bay, who practically created the art of synchronized destruction in films down to a T. Of course I spent half the time giggling with my other female friend at the boys reactions. A quarter way into the movie the film blanked out - a room full of angry, anxious fanboys? A total LOL-lapalooza. And near the end? My friend was on the edge of his seat. The concentration on his face was priceless. Especially when you think about the fact that we're watching FX robots fighting each other. Being exposed to such massive levels of testosterone will probably make hair start spouting from my chest. Awesome.

And OMG, Charm! Tom Lenk, Andrew from Buffy, is in it! He's got a teeny tiny role but I squealed when I saw him.

And on to some truths:

1. I'm not going to lie. If the Spice Girls do go through with their world tour, I'll probably show up to the concert with total enthusiasm and all the pep I can muster in my body. Say what you will but 1997 was all about the Girls in my world.

2. If Weezer do indeed go through making their 6th album, I'll buy the cd. Partly out of loyalty and because I can't fight the hope that 'Make Believe' was a one time shit-tastic deal. Everytime I've convinced myself their crap, I listen to The Blue Album and it's love all again.

3. I'm pretty excited about Harry Potter. More excited than I'm willing to let on honestly. I don't consider myself a fan of the series but I'm looking forward to film #5 because Daniel Radcliffe in no. 4 blew me away and I want to see if that was just a fluke. Also looking forward to book #7 because I just want to know how it ends so I can finally close the book on the series.

4. Series 3 of Doctor Who just started on the ABC today and Torchwood premiered 2 weeks ago. Between the two I'm getting my weekly requirement of sci-fi. And just so you know, in case anyone asks, yes, Russell T. Davies is a god.

5. Yeah, I'll wait in line for tickets to the Dead Like Me movie if it goes through. The series had so much potential but floundered it all without direction which makes me kinda mad. But whatever. I'm still there.

6. I get overtly preoccupied with Big Brother. We're talking 'discussing the show on online forums' levels of preoccupied. The show is horrible and whatever but hey, if you're going to watch reality shows, might as well watch the mack daddy of them all, right?

7. Reading about Chris Benoit of the WWE makes me a little sad. Having been obsessed with the show back when it was still called the WWF, it's sad to think that one of the guys I used to root for went mental and (apparently) did a murder-murder-suicide gig on his family. Actually wait. On another note, I'm still totally freaked out finding out about how XPac, my favourite wrestler ever, got it on with Chyna and made a sex tape out of it. Everytime I try to visualise the two being within 2 feet of each other my mind implodes. Too much grossness.

Snakes is in town!

2007-06-26T00:43:00.000+08:00

And then, all was right with the world again.

My Favourite Bookmarks

2007-06-16T16:46:00.001+08:00

I admit, I'm a regular 'bookmark' hoarder. I bookmark pages I like, pages I think are interesting, or pages that I want to read in the future on a regular basis. My bookmark list used to scroll right off the screen. After organizing it, it's hardly any cleaner, but there certainly are more categories now. Sheesh. Anyway, these are a few of my favourite bookmarks.

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo

This video above is, dare I say it, the best video out there in the world wide web. Much like OK Go's 'Here We Go Again', this video combines creativity and choreography with the added bonus of the charm that can only come from an infectious group energy and spontaneity. Give it a watch and I promise you will never listen to that song again in the same light!

- 40 Greatest Internet Superstars as compiled by VH1.
Honestly, I have yet to watch Internet superstar number #1 in action. Anyone care to verify that it's greatness far outweighs Tila Tequila's infamy?

- After re-evaluating Episode 4-6 in light of Episode 3, are R2D2 and Chewbacca the true heroes behind the Star Wars saga?

If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.

And with regards to dear ol' Chewie:

20 years earlier, Chewbacca was second in command of the defence of his planet. He's there in the tactical conferences and there on the front lines and is a personal friend of Yoda's. When he needed reliable people to join the embryonic Alliance, who else would Yoda turn to but his old friend from Kashykk? Given his background, there is no way that Chewie would spend the crucial years of the rebellion as the second-in-command to (sorry Han) a low-level smuggler. Unless it's his cover. In fact, Chewie is a top-line spy and flies what is in many ways the Rebellion's best ship.

Personally, I'm not fully convinced that R2D2 is all that the article makes it out to be. The article does make me rethink Chewie's importance in the saga.

- Marketing in terms of gaming consoles: A look at Marketing-Push (Sony and Microsoft) vs Evangelism-Pull (Nintendo and Apple).

Nintendo and Apple products are being effectively pushed by evangelists. Sure, slick advertising augments these more organic efforts, but make no mistake: in general, people that own Apple products love them and talk about them. Frequently. The same with Nintendo and the Wii. I just can't get people to shut up about these products. But I can't say the same for Microsoft and Sony, notwithstanding how cool or slick their graphics are or how many features and functions their consoles have.
- by Roger Ehrenberg @ Information Arbitrage

In terms of gaming consoles, I'm certainly more intrigued by the Nintendo Wii. I've played games on my friend's XBox, and whether it's because I'm not a hardcore gamer or otherwise, I found the many buttons to be very distracting. Of course, no need to go into the Apple fanatics. No other company can come close to catching up with the success Apple has have with the digital music revolution. With the iPhone releasing soon in the US, that group of the population is surely pissing themselves with excitement.

- 100 words every high school graduate should know.
I fail at life. There are at least 10 words I've never even heard of and a quarter that I don't know the meaning of. FAIL!

Today is...

2007-06-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

...one of those days where I feel like I've achieved heaps and crossed many things off my list. But because most of these stuff were delayed due to the exams, after factoring in the new stuff my to-do list is back to square one.

Here is the very impressive list of things I did today:

- got Ad's 'farewell gift' although she has actually deserted me to gallivant around Europe.
- called up Nick to wish him a safe flight only to realise that he's already left.
- googled 'The World Clock' while on the train to Caulfield. Oh.
- became Ad's personal slave for the early part of the day.
- got my new jeans hemmed. One of two things that suck with being vertically-challenged.
- got my brother's graduation/birthday present.
- figured out what to get everyone, except male friends, for their birthday. Every damn year..
- made this necklace. I'm super psyched that it came out exactly like I imagined hence the selfwankerism.

- bought groceries.
- bought fasteners for black dress.
- opened my sewing kit to find out that it came with fasteners.
- altered black dress with fasteners successfully on first try!
- entertain thoughts of having actual sewing skills and getting a sewing machine so that I can hem my own jeans.
- remember that my foray with knitting ended as soon as it started.
- emails, emails, emails.

Strange this sense of accomplishment that strikes after finishing these inconsequential errands.

Oh boy. I either need to upgrade my Flickr account or stop posting pictures.

Tidbits

2007-06-11T18:40:00.001+08:00

Here's something to chew on while you wait for the next Judd Apatow movie to roll into cinemas near you.

When employed correctly, improvisation can be a glorious thing, but I feel like it's increasingly used as a crutch for lazy filmmakers. Ideally, filmmakers start with a strong script and improve it through improvisation. But more often, it feels like the studio starts off with a really weak script that they figure an Owen Wilson or Will Ferrell can single-handedly save via improvisation. The result is an endless parade of half-assed, kinda-okay movies with a smattering of good ideas and funny scenes that would benefit greatly from a few more drafts and a lot more discipline.
- excerpt from Is Improvisation Ruining Film Comedy at The A.V. Club.

While I didn't think The 40 Year Old Virgin was all that it cracked up to be, I cannot get over Anchorman. I am super psyched for Knocked Up (5 July) and Superbad (20 Sept). Also am itching to get a copy of Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie.

ZoinksOMG!

2007-06-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

I conquered my XML retardedness!

Reality and sleep

2007-05-28T18:27:00.000+08:00

Today for the first time ever I woke up and didn't know what was real. I dream a lot during sleep, even have lots of those 'false awakening' dreams (where you think you've woken but are still asleep), but I've never woken up and felt completely disassociated from reality before. I checked the time, brushed my teeth and took a shower but when all that was done I still wasn't sure if I was awake. Now it's 8.36 at night and I'm still very jittery and thoroughly unnerved. Everything feels unreal. I hate the feeling.

All I hear in my head is Air's 'Playground Love'. I can't decide if my sensory abilities feels like it's cheating or being cheated. I've slapped myself a couple times now but then I've slapped myself in dreams before. This would make a good entry in my dream journal if I actually kept one.

Ruminations: Part III

2007-05-24T19:36:00.001+08:00

- I was trawling through my archives and I thought it necessary to point out a particularly odd event that happened in May of '06. The oddity is that history has repeated itself and because I noted it down on the blog, I can marvel at the strange way the same thing happened again in the same month it happened before in the present day of May of '07. Which is really just the most long-winded way I could think of parleying the information that my fan heater has died. Again. Like it did before. Yes, that really is all.

- With a lot of the US TV series winding down now, I desperately want to type up a post comparing, contrasting and reviewing the shows I've been diligently following since last fall. When they premiered I wrote up a post about shows that I were looking forward to. I would very much like to revisit that and see if my predictions or assumptions were in any way true. Except that I don't have the time. So I'll probably do this in the week after next. Which annoys me because I'm afraid I'll lack the drive to do it later. I should probably just do it now and not waste the time on debating the merits of doing it now or later. But where's the uselessness in that? Which actually brings me to my next point.

- I've been toying with the idea of either converting this blog to a purely pop culture concentrated one or starting up a new one to vent my pop culture obsessions. After going through the archives I realize that since a significantly large portion of posts tend to be about movies/music/allthatrot, it's not exactly fair to subject friends who come here to live vicariously (cough) through my personal posts. I feel quite guilty force feeding people my fanwanks and rants about stuff they don't care about. Except right now I can't quite decide which route to take. Do I take out all the personal stuff out of Sporadic Word Vomit or transport all my pop culture posts to a new plate? Or continue to do my pop-cultural version of religious bible-thumping as per usual?

- I wish I could stop eating KFC. When I'm stripping the meat off the grotesquely small bird I keep imagining a mutated bird running around the KFC product farm without beaks, or a tail and three eyes. Or whatever abomination the conspiracy theorists are yelling from their soapbox. But damn that original recipe, 12 secret herb and spices crap. Like a fly to the electric-fly-killer-box, I'm drawn right back into the greasy stores of Kentucky Effin' Chicken whenever I pass by and catch a whiff of the steroid chickens. Damn it.

- I cannot wait for winter break to start. For starters there's the China exhibition at the Melbourne Museum I must go to before it's over (insane wildness). There's also the sneakers exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria that if I miss will lead to massive stomping of my Chucks-covered feet (the party train just does not stop). After that I need to go visit the Human Bodyworks exhibition when it hits Docklands. Seriously guys, I put Courtney Love to shame.

- And before I forget, Wicked is coming to town! As in Wicked, of the Wizard of The Oz Broadway production! Well, technically they're coming in '08, but I've got my party poppers out and ready to go. The theatre scene is really shaping up with The Phantom of the Opera opening in July, SPAMALOT (dies of glee) in December and Wicked in 2008. Between this and all the exhibitions I intend to go to, I've just got about my local coke dealer primed for business. Lindsay Lohan, your hard-parrrrtying ass is beat.

- My mobile is now web-accessible and that pleases and frightens me at the same time. Great because I can now check my email any time but scary because I have to contend with the 24/7 knowledge that I'm simply that big a loser and short of wildly imaginative offers about enlarging a dick I don't have, I get no good emails ever.

- Also interesting to note that my stance on the Equality-Now!-No-Ma-Pa-Day-Celebration-Till-Kids-Get-Their-Recognition-Day that I spouted last year in May turned out to be nothing but a novel idea. This year I went traditional and made my mum a card. A pop up card, thankyouverymuch. All I got in return was a text message saying "I will cherish it, my dear". Yes, cherish it in monetary sum, mum. Or care packages! That would be of the awesomeness, ma.

- I don't know why I continue to write all this quips to my mum. She knows about the blog but to my knowledge, doesn't visit it. I think since she's just only conquered Yahoo Mail the idea of keeping a journal in a public virtual space where denizens of the intrawebs have access to them is just a tad too new-fangled. At the rate she's experiencing technology and all it's offshoots, she'll only appreciate the brilliance of Sporadic Word Vomit in 2016. That is if her eyesight hasn't failed her completely yet. Oh mum, surely I kid. It's like planting seeds; only after a while will you reap what you sow. And trust me when I say this forward planning is totally worth in getting a rise out of my mother.

- In all actuality, rereading the archives and finding lame attempts at bagging my mum like such makes me laugh. I alternately marvel at my childishness and snicker at my (self-deluded) witticisms. It takes very little to amuse me but even I am aware just how pathetic that admission was. Okay, humiliation stopping now.

Conversations With Dead People.

2007-05-12T02:26:00.001+08:00

There is this quote in Season 7 of Buffy in the episode 'Conversations With Dead People' which best states everything that I feel about high school. Or at least the high school experience that I remember looking back at it now that I'm four years out of it.

I really miss [high school]. Time goes by, and everything drops away. All the cruelty, all the pain, all that humiliation. It all washes away. I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day. I miss the people who never knew I existed. I miss 'em all. I want to talk to them, you know. I want to find out how they're doing. I want to know what's going on in their lives.

-Jonathan

Okay, so I don't exactly identify with the cruelty, pain and humiliation that Jonathan (the ubernerd) experienced. But the rest of it, about missing everyone is really what I think about in the quiet moments when my mind is not preoccupied with the hustle and bustle of life and all its multiple tangents.

I miss all the random people and groups who made up the student body of SMKDU Class of 2003. I miss the Art class guys who, it's a safe bet, never knew I existed. I miss the 'hello and goodbye' people I said hello and goodbye to. I miss the people I knew in my class. I miss the people whom I didn't know in my class. I miss the people I had inside jokes with. I miss the Blue house members I'd muck around with on Sports Day. I miss the people I played tennis with. I miss the people I lost contact with, especially the ones who I had a real connection with. I miss the people I would go out of my way to avoid. Alright, maybe 'miss' is a stretch, but I'd like to know how they're doing. Did the two siblings who made up the weirdo factor in our class ever grow out of their awkwardness? Who is engaged? Married? Pregnant? A parent?

Who turned their lives around? Did the band who won Battle of the Bands every year ever go on to get a record deal? Are the stoners still stoning? Do the people who smoked in high school still smoke now? I'd just really like to seat everyone down and get them to tell their post-high school story. I want to hear about their lives when I ask, "How's it going?". I will be all ears.

But I was a no one in the grand scheme of high school hierarchy. I wasn't overtly athletic, popular or a teacher's pet. I wasn't part of the 'pretty people' or hard-working enough to excel academically. I hardly ever volunteered for anything and on the days when I wasn't cutting class, I was sleeping in class. I kept a low profile amongst the student body and within the clubs and organizations that I was involved with.

So I guess in reality, the idea of meeting and catching up with ex-school mates won't be quite so romantic on account of people going, "And you are?" Even if they remembered who I was there's no guarantee that I would have remembered them. And in real life people will answer "I've been good" regardless of actual state of goodness in their lives when questioned.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I didn't attend the school prom so I never really got proper closure. Friends told me it was overrated anyway but maybe had I attended the event and seen everyone together for the last time I wouldn't be thinking like this. Who knows? So I suppose I'll just hold on to that idea of a perfect meeting wherein I spend a perfect day just catching up with all those people I miss sans weirdness, defensiveness and any lull in the conversation.

Besides, Friendster-stalking requires less communication and nullifies all odds of awkwardness anyway.

Superhero gabbery

2007-05-06T23:21:00.001+08:00

Spiderman 3
So if you've been following the comments in the previous post you would have gotten the general feel of my friends and my opinion regarding Spiderman 3. If you haven't, here's what you need to know:

As much as it pains me to admit this, Spiderman 3 spread itself too thin in a way bloated running time, delivering an 'okay' film where it had the makings of a masterpiece. It doesn't quite classify as an atrocity, but given the previous two instalments that successfully balanced the pressures of financial success and comic book-realm geekery, the third film surely left a bitter taste in what could have been an epic trilogy. If this is indeed the last film for the franchise (although I doubt it because IMDb has Spiderman 4 down for a 2009 release), it is surely a lousy way to bow out of the scene.

Where did it go wrong?
i. The introduction of additional villians at the cost of their character development.
According to the articles I've been reading, the producers, in so many words, forced Sam Raimi to implement the character of Venom. The excuse given was that "the fans wanted it". While I do think the idea of Eddie Brock/Venom makes a great foil to Peter Parker, he had to contend with Goblin Jr. and Sandman for screen time. Not forgetting the whole relationship aspect of Peter Parker and MJ Watson that the film went into great detail too. This meant that what we saw of Brock was really quite one-dimensional. Had he been taken out of the equation and perhaps introduced in film no. 4 or had his character been laid the groundwork in Spiderman 3 and expanded in no. 4, maybe the franchise would have done him justice.

ii. Gwen Stacy
As above, only applied to the romantic part of the movie.

iii. Excessiveness
There were a lot of scenes that could have been cut short - including the action scenes, the romantic scenes and the comedy scenes. They might have been intended to add to the momentum of the story but in the long run it added to the excessively long running time. Not even halfway into the movie, I started checking the time. And that NEVER happens. If this is the standard for the summer movies to come, the kids of America are going to go back to school in the Fall pasty and overweight.

iv. Pacing and tone of the film
Part of the problem was the pacing of the film. While before it blended comedy and action seamlessly, in Spiderman 3 the erratic tone of the movie that swung from bizarre to hilarious in nanoseconds had me quite unsettled. Were we supposed to take Peter Parker seriously after he did what he did down the street? I want to attribute this problem to the script, but I suspect editing had a play in it as well.

v. Deux ex machina
For the most part I find the use of deux ex machina to be the most lazy way of ending a story or a plot point. It's heavy handed, unsubtle and frankly, insulting to the movie-going public who has coughed up fifteen bucks to watch a film. I'm trying to keep this review spoiler-free so I won't mention anything further except for this, you'll know it when you've seen it. Then you'll want to throw rocks at Sam Raimi, his brother and the other dude who are the writers of the film.

vi. My dad
My dad's quip ruined many scenes for me. I think a couple other people probably felt the same way as my dad because people started laughing inappropriately in certain scenes. Tsk. I knew I shouldn't have asked him what he thought of it.

That being said, there are of course good points to the film. The action scenes were jaw-droppingly fantastic and the comedy scenes (or at least the scenes I find comedic) definitely brought out the chuckles as well. For the most part, the cast did what they could do with the material and delivered. J.K. Simmons, who plays Jonah Jameson, is a stand out, brilliant as per usual. Is the film worth watching? Well, given the subject material (comic book adaptation) I don't see how it's worse than other fare. But if you want to keep only good memories of the film franchise? Mull on it for a little while.

Fantastic Four: The Unnecessary Sequel
The four main cast members of the movie came down to Melbourne for the movie premiere. Having nothing to do on a Friday night, Ad and I decided to go for it. Also, we had never been to the Southland shopping mall where the premiere was held and figured we'd kill two birds with one stone in that trip. Bear in mind that neither of us are particularly huge fans of the film or the cast. We were hoping that Doug Jones, who is one of the most prolific 'movement actors' (he plays the Silver Surfer in FanFourTwo, was Hellboy in Hellboy, the faun in Pan's Labyrinth) in the industry, would show up for a surprise visit but he didn't. Nonetheless, we stuck around for funsies.

Someone's got to do the dirty job.

Ad and I set up camp at around 5 right up front at the barricades. We thought we were bring slightly freaky but the crowd had already started to swell by the time we got there. We were also slightly mortified to discover that the average age of the crowd was 15. Luckily opposite us and by our right were adults. They were slated to arrive at 6.30 pm. After much fake cries and false alarms, they showed up at 6.45 pm. The crowd that was largely there for Jessica Alba went ape-shit crazy.

First out: Michael Chiklis.

Ad and I decided that since everyone was cheering for Alba, we would cheer for Michael Chiklis. It's a process of elimination really. Alba = too many fanboys/girls, Chris Evans = ditto, Ioan Gruffudd = we didn't know how to pronounce his name.

School girl on my right: "Oh my god!!! I'm going to cry!!!!!!!!"

I didn't really understand her logic but it certainly made me laugh at a time when my ribs were pressed up to the barricades and I was being pushed from everywhere by autograph hounds. Jessica Alba is really quite pretty. And she asked the crowd to give space to a little kid who was being crushed by the crowd.

He is really as pretty as Jessica Alba.

Ad and I agreed that he wasn't as tall as we expected. I guess it's no secret that IMDb lies about height. Which makes me wonder.. Just how tall exactly is Seth Green?

Gratuitous shot of celebrity and me.

He is so nice! He and Michael Chiklis were the only ones who really obliged to the crowd request. He was the last one in and although his minders were telling him to get a move on, he still said okay when I requested a picture with him. He was the only one Ad and I requested a picture with and he obliged on both accounts. What a legend. This makes me wish I was a fan.

Spoils of the night.

I can't say I was terribly star struck. I think I was left truly gap-mouthed when I met Danny Boyle earlier this year at the early premiere of Sunshine. I was actually embarrassingly enough tongue-tied!

Question: Would I be terribly awful if for all my male friend's 21st this year I blow up all the pictures I took of Jessica Alba and give it to them as a present?

My dad is awesome

2007-05-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

When asked about how Spiderman 3 was, this is what my dad had to say:

"I don't know why he cried so much. Should have been called 'The Crying Spiderman'."

Sigh.

Today I...

2007-04-30T18:19:00.001+08:00

...got a text message from my mum that said verbatim, "Jon, dad n I will be going 4 spiderman 3 show 2night." I already knew from my brother's blog that he was going for the early premiere. He failed to mention that my parents would be going along too.

I have a feeling I'm being incredibly petty, but the fact that my parents are watching Spiderman 3, probably the most bomb-diggity sequel (triquel?) of the year, is bugging me heaps. It doesn't help that Channel 10 runs the damn trailer every damn ad break during Big Brother. Yeah, so I'm obviously jealous but what bugs me the most is how my dad will not appreciate the immense event that is Spidey 3. Fanboys/girls, comic book geeks and nerds alike know what I'm talking about. My dad is the same dude who only goes to the cinemas to watch Jackie Chan movies and Bond movies. I mean, he watched Lord of the Rings: Part 3 without watching the first two and made me sit next to him to explain everything that was going on! His thoughts after the movie? "Why are those two hobbits (Sam and Frodo) like the homosexuals, Karen?" Sheesh.

Anyway I'm going to avoid my brother's blog until I watch the movie because although I tell him not to post any spoilers I just know that that little shit will with much glee to boot. Fuck, I probably would. Technically everyone knows how it's going to end - Spidey will emerge victorious, Mary Jane will live regardless of mortal peril, and the bad guys will get taken down. But I'll be damned if I find out HOW he gets there. So, dong ma Jonny? I'll visit your blog again after May 3rd, you sneaky little kid.

---

... also found this site online that creates a word cloud of common words that appear on your blog. Insert your blog URL and let the little robots work their magic! Below is my word cloud.
Very amusing how the numbers one, two and three appear so often but four doesn't even rate a mention. I don't even remember using them much. I am pretty amazed that 'awesome' came up so little seeing as to how I abuse it so much in my vernacular. Go get one of your own and see what words you've been abusing!

add-on: Oh! I get it! One, two, three. Season one/two/three! Shows I watch hardly ever reach season four. I am the best damn blogger (three other majorly used words) ever!