Monday, November 24, 2008

Help, please?

So I really want to watch Twilight. Because hell, if I had to read those 4 series, I better have man-candy to perve on, you know? And what better form do they come in than Robert Pattinson and Jackson Rathborne?

The thing is, my want for watching that movie does not surpass my want for not wanting to pay to watch the movie. Are you still with me? Good. So I attempted to be all sneaky and win tickets thinking if I do win merchandise, all those suckers will fall prey to my eBay exclusive sale of the century. But naturally, since Stephanie Meyer is a cockblocking piece of work, the contest has to be her brand of fail too.


I simply cannot find it within myself to come up with a good enough lie about how I love Twilight in 20 words or less. Twilight, is essentially Twatlight to me. And really, the only answer my brain can come up with is this:


Fine. I'll pay my way there, fuck you very much.

Friday, November 21, 2008

This is why, this is why I'm hot

The other day I got reprimanded by my parents for using a vulgar word. I was like, "Nuh-uh. I didn't say 'cunt'. Did I?" Even my sister was confused, on my side agreeing that I said no such vulgarity.

As it turns out, my parents are that old-fashioned that they still consider 'asshole' a vulgarity. And I apparently use the word so much so that it's now entered my daily vernacular. This I'm not so much worried about. What I am slightly worried about is this:

"Suck my non-existent massive hairy balls".

Frankly, I find it really funny since you know, girl here, hello. But I keep saying it unconsciously as a retort, and people's WTF-boggled-eye look, is making me wonder if perhaps I should do something and try to curb my language. I also say, "kiss my black ass" constantly, although that's more of a tribute to my favourite cartoon character, not that my ass is black in anyway (I don't think). I feel like I should do something about this cussing issue, but I couldn't be fucked really.