This is why, this is why I'm hot

The other day I got reprimanded by my parents for using a vulgar word. I was like, "Nuh-uh. I didn't say 'cunt'. Did I?" Even my sister was confused, on my side agreeing that I said no such vulgarity.

As it turns out, my parents are that old-fashioned that they still consider 'asshole' a vulgarity. And I apparently use the word so much so that it's now entered my daily vernacular. This I'm not so much worried about. What I am slightly worried about is this:

"Suck my non-existent massive hairy balls".

Frankly, I find it really funny since you know, girl here, hello. But I keep saying it unconsciously as a retort, and people's WTF-boggled-eye look, is making me wonder if perhaps I should do something and try to curb my language. I also say, "kiss my black ass" constantly, although that's more of a tribute to my favourite cartoon character, not that my ass is black in anyway (I don't think). I feel like I should do something about this cussing issue, but I couldn't be fucked really.

A Quick Recap of the the Life of a 21 year old Retiree

- Such is my life now that I can name you the value of every single letter according to Scrabble rules. Is are probably my least favourite vowel ever. Out of the 9 Is that can be found in a full set, I usually get at least 4 of them while playing. Argh. Hate Is.

- I actually won a match of Scrabble the other night. Since I lack a single competitive bone in my body, I usually couldn't be arsed as to how I finish. But man, Scrabble mojo was in the air and I was the pwnxorrs. Lady Luck was on my side and the tiles I pulled were absolutely beautiful. I finished just shy off 200 points. I'm thinking now would be a good time to retire the game since I doubt I'll be able to eclipse that performance in the future.

- Since I don't have any income to spend, I've been holding back on any kind of clothes shopping. Instead I've taken to pilfering my parent's wardrobe and working on altering their clothes to something I would wear. Assuming my sewing skills don't fail me now, there should be a smorgasboard of new clothes to wear in the future. I really want to break out my mum's sewing machine, but bearing in mind my disastrous experience with her kitchen mixers (3 dead and buried), I'm very wary. As is she understandably.

- I've sent my laptop in for much needed service finally. Friends will know that the ADSL port and internal speakers have been busted for close to two years now. Take relief in knowing that my poor laptop is finally getting some TLC downtime, guys.

- I guess I don't have the best track record when it comes to taking care of my electronics. Every mobile I've owned has always needed the assistance of a rubberband to be held together eventually. My SE k610i is going slightly schizoid on me now and switching off without warning. My laptop, of course, is currently enjoying what I imagine to be a relaxing spa holiday at the moment. And currently tape is the only thing that's keeping my Pentax from falling apart. For some inexplicable reasons, all the screws that held my camera together have fallen and disappeared in the 3 years I've owned it. I swear to Yahweh that I don't do anything out of the ordinary to ruin my things! It's not my fault they can't stand the heat. I refuse too baby my belongings and keep them in socks and pouches and the like.

- I suppose that's part of the reason why I covet the Suzuki Vitara JLX so badly. It's a pretty old ass model that even the manufacturer has retired, but my research tells me that it can hold it's own and withstand rough handling, scratches and the like.

- I've just received my tax returns and I'm deciding how I should use it:
a) Put it in my fixed deposit account (*yawn*)
b) Go on a holiday (Bali, maybe?)
c) Buy a new digital camera (*pants*)
I've sussed out the cameras I'm interested in purchasing and I've realized taking into consideration my very specific requirements, the options I have are severely limited. It all comes down to cameras made in 2004 that aren't exactly fresh on the market. I'm thinking perhaps the (hopefully) cheaper cost might outweigh the older technology? Or I could loosen up a little and cave on certain requirements. We'll see.

- 'Asshole' is the word of the moment; and out of respect to my religious friends, and newly religious brother, 'Ya Allah', the phrase. I don't understand how saying what is basically 'oh my God' in Malay acceptable and non-blasphemous if I'm still using God's name in vain anyway. But I guess that's just another little inconsistency in the logic of religion. Yeah, I saw the oxymoron there.

- A plane flight to Turkey awaits and I'll be off till the 9th of October. I hope to eat much Turkish food and soak up more history. Since it's Hari Raya all over, I'm banking on some marvelous sights indeed.

- Since I chose to my time updating this blog instead of replying to emails, I'm just going to use this as a platform to send messages to people who I owe emails to:

Nick: Greatness happened in Istanbul in 2005 and I get to go there and you don't. Nye-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. I can't say much for Fernando Torres, but I'm pretty goddamn awesome. :D Also, your room is bitch ass. I approve!

Ad: Sew more, woman! You've got some mad skills. You can be like little J in Gossip Girl, with the sewing and the DIY-ing.

Charm: Woman, three words: ESSAYS. NOW. GO. True Blood is so lulzy and I really dislike Anna Paquin as Sookie. But Daniel Craig is awesome! He's like a man's man. Not pretty like Chace Crawford or precious like Lee Pace. Manly man, man! Rawr.

Jon: I'll be sure to eat enough pita bread and hummus for you, kid. Have fun on your school break! Text us and tell us how you're doing and in turn I'll rub it in your face all that you're missing out on.

Jim: Dude, quit stalking me! Internet dating was made for people like you, so get on that!

Chrissy: I demand you set up a blog and write about your experiences while in UK. Or email us more often. Is it everything that you thought it would be? Were all your fears completely unfounded?

Sam: (I don't actually know if the Snakes reads this, but let's assume that she does) My glibness probably ruined my chances for this job I really want which I applied for. I couldn't help it. It was 6 in the am and I was running on zero sleep, you know how I get. How long do you reckon I should wait for a reply before getting the hint and pissing off?

All right then. Autobots, roll out.

Questions and answers

I want to know why reading eBooks, that is books in electronic form (.pdf/.lit/.word), is considered nerdier that just reading plain physical books. Given the time and age where 'e' is the prefix of choice for many activities, why is it that I get looks of "okayyyyyyyy" when I tell people that I'm reading electronically?

They're much easier to transport around, take up very little space (depending on your reading medium), are technically better for the environment - no pages = no tree massacres = no landfill and well, if you know where to look, they're free. So why the discrimination?

Perhaps a better question.

Why do I get embarrassed telling people that I read eBooks?

I scoffed so hard when the Kindle was released. And now I'm reaping the benefits that a laptop and torrents can bring. I don't like being wrong in my assessment of things, but I'll always own up to my mistakes.

Only in dreams

I sleep a lot, hence I dream a lot. But that is not true. For me, it's always been more the case of I dream a lot, hence I sleep a lot. I never daydream while awake, but when asleep, man, my brain thinks up the wildest scenarios. And I have to admit that I really like these dreams. Which is why, I think I like sleeping so much.

The very first dream I remember having happened when I was six. I dreamt that I was somehow transported to the Land of Oz and all the major players were there - Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, hell, even the Flying Monkeys. I suppose, it wouldn't be wrong to say that in that dream, I was playing the character of Dorothy. I don't remember how it ended. But I remember waking up feeling very unsatisfied, wanting to finish out the magical dream. No matter how I tried to reproduce the situations leading up to sleep time (not showering, sleeping at the same time, in the same position) I never revisited that dream, much to my disappointment.

Ever since then, I've had a variety of dreams, the majority which have been weirdly enough reality-based. By that I mean most dreams have been lacking such fantastical elements. Well, except zombies. But they're the undead. And fun. And possibly very real if you believe Cracked. Anyway, these dreams usually involve real people and real places, people I know and places I've been to. If you're my friend, I've definitely dreamt about you before. Not long ago a classmate from primary school who I haven't talked to in 14 years showed up in my dreams. It was very bizarre but nonetheless a nice surprise from this blast from the past.

Some of my dream highlights are:-

- dreaming every single one of my family, bar my sister, died (in separate sleeps). These three dreams remain the only ones I've woken up in tears. I don't know why Gill is the exception to the rule.
- Hanson appearing in my dreams (I was 11)
- dreaming I was a cop
- dreaming I was a track athlete
- dreaming I was an evil demon hunter ala Buffy or the Winchester boys from Supernatural
- lucid dreaming while sleeping in exams. During Form 5, whenever I would fall asleep during exams, I would always end up lucid dreaming. I would always be dreaming but I knew I was dreaming, so the dreams would be me trying to wake myself but no matter what I did I couldn't wake myself up. Those were fun times.
- a recurring nightmare that I used to have, that thankfully hasn't appeared in the past 2 years, so maybe I should say 'a nightmare I use to have' instead of recurring.
- running. I have run more in my dreams than I have in real life.
- adventure quests! These ones are very fun and I usually try to go back to sleep if awaken prematurely.

Recently, first of many previously undreamed dreams happened.

1) I dreamt in a whole different language. Needless to say, English is my main language, even in my dreams. But the other night, I ended up conversing in Bahasa Melayu for the first time. That was pretty funny. The next night, Cantonese was prevalent in my dream. Yet even though I barely speak or understand it, I understood everything.

2) For the first time ever, I appeared naked in my dream! I hear that it is a common dream and up until last week, it's never happened to me so I was very excited when I woke up to realize that I was naked in my dream. In that dream, I was at the beach and sun-tanning naked. Somehow I was caught on camera and that film was broadcast on mainstream TV at a diner where I was eating. I don't pretend to know what all this means. I just find it amusing that my dreams are so rich.

3) Since last month, I have been dreaming more frequently about taking pictures in my dream. I will usually be wielding my Pentax (I can't even dream up a DSLR, goddamn) and snapping away at everything. It's like I'm observing my dreamscapes and trying to take pictures to remember it all.

Last night I had another dream about taking photographs. For some inexplicable reason I was put in charge of a photoshoot, and when I tried wielding my digital camera, it literally fell apart in my hands. So I broke out my film camera and go to work, but I couldn't get the shot I wanted no matter what I did.

I don't think that all dreams necessarily have meaning. I certainly don't think that my dreams are anything more than random synapses in the brain. Most of them at least. I just thought I'd record this down for posterity.

If someone were to ask me if I am a dreamer, I would take a moments pause to deliberate on the implications of that question. I do not daydream, and I certainly don't have big aspirations or goals in life. But I am guilty of spending time in the unconscious realm and loving it. In every sleep, I hope to dream and when I don't, I feel strangely unsatisfied. In that sense, I suppose, I can answer an unabashed yes.

The difference between who you are and how people see you

Recently I learned that some friends have found this blog. It isn't hard to, I am very aware of the virtual bread crumbs that I have left on the world wide web. Yet, although I knew full well what leaving those links could entail, the discovery of my blog by said friend kind of paralyzed me with fear. For a minute, I panicked and almost had a melt down. I worried about what I had said here and hoped that I hadn't offended anyone. For a second I contemplated deleting this blog. And then I mentally shook myself off and got over it.

Okay, some context. I'll 'fess up to being a non-committal worrier. What that means is that I might worry about something or someone intensely for a short period of time but say, after a couple of hours or days, I'll basically think, "fuck it", and move on. I often worry about how others perceive me, but never for long periods of time. It's usually short bursts that occur when I've done something weird or said something out of the ordinary. Mostly I'm worried about what the people I call friends think about me. As obnoxious as this sounds, I couldn't be stuffed with what strangers or new acquaintances think about me. After all, it's the opinions of those that matter that counts most, right?

So I have to admit, when my friend remarked that he had come across my blog, I was very worried if his opinion of me had changed. I don't even know what his opinion is. I just wondered if it had taken a turn for the negative. A while ago, a friend mentioned that I came across much angrier on my blog than in real life. It's not a conscious thing that I do - release my frustrations here, but I suppose those feelings could seep out in the way I write. I wouldn't classify myself as a self-conscious person, but I have to admit that I spend more time than I like on wondering what my friends think about me.

I wonder if they get annoyed with me. I have a very loose sense of humour and will basically laugh at everything and anything. I wonder if they find that quality atrocious. I wonder sometimes if I'm being too touchy-feely. Or perhaps not touchy-feely enough. I'm afraid of coming of as pretentious when I talk about films and music. I worry about coming off arrogant because I'm pretty self-assured and self-confident, when let's face it, I have little to crow about. I worry that I'm not good enough a friend. I worry if they would still talk to me if they knew how much of a potty mouth I really had. I worry if my bad habits which I try to keep hidden will surface and scare them away. I worry, I worry, I worry.

I've been grappling with this issue for a while now. The whole dichotomy of how I see myself and other people's opinion of me. I think for me that there's a definite disparity between the two and I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed or surprised by the outcome of my self-evaluation.

Whose got the power?

In a bid to test my will-power, I haven't eaten beef in about a month now. I think. I don't really know the exact dates but I'm estimating a month, although it really feels like three. I'm thinking about breaking because I'm really craving beef soba. But then I feel like I'm giving up, and I start telling myself that "I can stick it out", but then while my brain thinks that, all my senses are like, "MUST HAVE BEEF SOBA. NOM NOM NOMM".

It's all rather confusing right now, I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder how I ever gave up pork for four years.

For the record, I wouldn't ever bother giving up chicken.

Daily Internet Rituals

stolen from Sophia.

Wherein I tell you my favourite haunts on the Interwebs, regardless of whether you wanted to know in the first place.

1. ONTD_twatlight.
Currently, this Livejournal community is my biggest time waster on the Web. It's a community that's devoted to mocking and bagging the hell out of the most craptastic book since the time of A.D. The book is called Twilight, the community is _twatlight and the members are lovingly called twatfaxers. It's basically one big inside joke and it brings the LOLs in massive amounts. It's great to be part of a community that have little baggage and awesome personalities. And gosh, the inside jokes... I now smirk at the mention of the weather, maize, bacon, duct tape, sous vide, umbrellas, Chris Hansen and a zillion other innocuous things. This site has also completely won me over the prettiness of Robert Pattinson, whom I pic-spammed about two posts ago.

2. ONTD.
ONTD is the best gossip site in existence. It's just a fact. There's no draggy add-on life story like PinkIsTheNewBlog, and neither does it promote inbred-neanderthalness as exhibited on PerezHilton.com. Because all the contents are user generated, you get celebrity news from members who come from all over the world. Add to that magazine scans, newspaper articles, and industry insight, it adds up to a really comprehensive coverage of news from the celebrity realm, all for your easy access from one site! If you google "best communities on Livejournal", this site is the first one on the list. Yes, seriously.

3. Pajiba and by association, Webster's Is My Bitch.
Pajiba is my favourite and most trusted movie review website ever. The reviews are usually spot on, the comments very clever and the snark and wit invokes the essence of Television Without Pity, but without the excessive bitchiness. Webster's is a subdivision of Pajiba, or more accurately the gossip arm of the parent company. I really like the format they use in presenting posts, where they utilize a word or phrase and explain the meaning as well as attach it to the celebrity gossip. See for example, the explanation for the word worthless, and the phrase, I've made a huge mistake.

4. AV Club.
The AV Club deals with all things pop culture-related. Music, TV, movies, art... their articles are well-written and covers a very diverse range of topics. The only thing that shits me up the wall about the site are the commenters. Commenters on pop culture sites as a whole, are generally predisposed to having an inflated sense of self-worth that often translates to bitchiness and wit that run the gamut from genuinely funny to bucketloads of fail. Go ahead, ask me how I know this. For whatever reason, the AV Club seems to be the proverbial trailer park for the trailer trash of the commenting world. Although to be fair, their trashniess doesn't even come close to the commenters found at IMDb.

5.. Gala Darling, Fashion is Spinach and Fops and Dandies.
I've put these three blogs together because they mostly talk about the same subject, fashion and to a lesser extent, lifestyle issues.

6. All the links on both my blogs and my Livejournal friends-list, which is basically made up of communities and Sophia.
I might not always comment, but please know that I'm lurking in the corner watching every post you make. Wow, I sound about as lame-stalker as that reads.

7. Quaintly.net.
I don't remember how I stumbled across this blog, but ever since, there's been no regret and constant lurker action. Su Ann is a really intelligent girl who writes like a dream. She describes her feelings very succinctly without relying on flowery prose and the impact is that much more overwhelming because of the underwhelming way it's been conveyed. Does that make sense? Probably not. Just know that she is very, very ridiculously articulate and her command as well as usage of the language makes for a fantastic read.

8. Karen Cheng.
Look Sophia, I read her too! I'm not usually a big fan of 'mommy-bloggers' because most of the time, I'm not nearly as fascinated as they are about their self-described cute kids who also most of the time, are about as cute as a new born pug, which is to say, not very cute. At all. Holy run-on sentence, Batman! (I really need to stop doing that). Anyway, Karen bucks the trend, not simply because we share the same first name, or because she's got two very adorable sons, but because she conveys the ups and downs of being a stay-at-home mum with lots of grace and dignity. Often times we get hints of her frustration, but there's always an awareness of her good fortunes with the life she's chosen.

That concludes the top 8 sites I frequent everyday. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I don't go to news sites much, but I read the paper and watch the 6.30 pm SBS World news, which for me, is sufficient consumption of daily news.

Number 9 and 10 shouldn't technically be included because they've both shut down and stop producing new material, but back when they did, I was a constant visitor to the sites. Even now, I troll the archives re-reading the articles. Please know that if I had my way, they wouldn't have stopped and instead lived forever, thus making themselves number #1 and #2 respectively on this list.

The would-have-been number #1 but now is number #9: Stylus.
Stylus was this beautiful slice of perfection when it came to news reporting from the realm of popular culture. There was the obligatory coverage of movies and music, but what sold it best was the diverse topics Stylus wasn't afraid to cover. Unlike one certain music website that is all about the hipster wankery music -rolls eyes-, Stylus didn't shun popular music and often wrote really introspective articles of the state of pop. The movies reviewed covered art house flicks, cult movies, foreign films and big Hollywood blockbusters. Discussions were passionate but never rude. And the Staff Top 10 lists as well as features, were always an excellent read. It's a shame this site had to die for I have yet to find an equal to it.

Would-have-been number #2 but now, number #10: Fametracker.
Fametracker was the absolute shiznit when it came to talking about celebrities. I believe it's from the same people/company who brought you Television without Pity, so there was the inbuilt snark from the get go. Their 'Hey! It's That Guy!' feature covers the plethora of actors who you often find yourself saying, "Hey! It's that guy from _____". To put it simply, the site was complete and utter brilliance.

---

When I am really, really, really bored and am looking to waste more time on the Internet, I go to eBay and Flickr. I also stalk famous people on the Internet, namely James Gunn's MySpace blog, Jason Mraz's blog and the people who run and work or created College Humor.com. Well, I did say "waste more time" and I never do a half-assed job if I can help it. I also go to Cracked for the occasional laughs. Oh, and Nintendo 8 to play old-school Mario and Galaga.

I suppose it's easier to say that the Internet becomes a free for all when I'm looking to kill time.

---
Sites that I loathe
1. Perez Hilton
Ugh. The shameless self-promotion, the childish picture scrawling, the irrepressible need to plaster his goddamn ugly mug on every third post.. How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways. I honestly lose respect for people when they say they frequent this site. True fact. I overheard this one girl in my tute talking about it in a tone that wasn't derogatory and we never became friends. I don't think it's my loss.

2. TwoP
I used to go to TwoP a lot but the insane amounts of fanwank got to me after a while. Look, the third season of Veronica Mars sucks. It really does. Accept it and deal with it. No amount of explanation or fanwankery will make others see otherwise. Fuck, season 2 wasn't even all that great. Blame CW all you want, but ultimately Rob Thomas CHOSE to subvert the formula that make Season 1 such a critical success. He chose to end season 3 without a proper ending knowing full well, that there was a very big chance the show won't be coming back. Get over it or I'll sick the wahhhmbulance on you.
/end rant.

Honestly, I still frequent the Mondo Extras bit. It's content that would have ended up on Fametracker anyway.

3. IMDb
Ditto for IMDb. It's very hard trying to present an articulate argument because whatever you say, asswipes are just going to come back with a "If you don't like it, get the fuck off the boards" type comment. And regardless of how you tell them you're just trying to have a discussion, they call you a troll and the whole boards deteriorate into a name-calling session. Goddamn wankers. These days I get my information off Wikipedia. It's a lot easier and makes me less prone to stabbing people with a blunt fork.

4. Pitchfork
I sincerely want to smack every self-congratulatory bastard on this site for their self-deluded thoughts on being music maestros of the music universe just because they frequent this oh-so-exclusive website. Wake up and smell the green grass, because there's so much more to music than Indie Rock. You're so much worse than those 14 year old die hard My Chemical Romance fans, because they at the very least, do not have age and experience on their side. Fuck you for giving the genre a bad name with your self-wankery.

---
This post ended up a lot longer than I expected. Sorry, Sophia! And as a treat for reading all that, here is a great interview by Complex magazine with both James McAvoy and Common for the upcoming movie, Wanted. Yes, that's the actor from Scotland and rapper from USA. It's a bizarre match but both of them seem to have a good rapport and the interview is a fun read. Here's a snippet:

Common: ...I was just excited to work with James. I seen James in Last King of Scotland, I’m one of them people like, if I see somebody and I think they got something, I become a fan and follow they stuff. So when I seen James, after that, what was that movie you did with “ten?”
James McAvoy: Starter for 10? I can’t believe you watched that.
Common: [Laughs.] I wanted to see that just because I liked James. So I was excited to work with him. Going back to the whole classical training, whatever he was bringing was just right, and he’s like that in every movie I seen him do.
James McAvoy: Thank you, man.

Part 1.
Part 2.

via, where else, the fabulous ONTD.

Things that have crossed my mind lately

- I hate shopping sites that don't readily put out the price of their products and only reveal it during the check out bit. Price plays a big factor in my decision to purchase something so not having the price readily available annoys me muchly.

- My grammar and spelling is deteriorating at a shockingly high rate. I wonder if that has anything to do with my growing fluency at Net speak.

- Consequently, what are the odds that future employers would be impressed if I added 1337 and LOLcat to 'languages I speak' in my resume?

- Thanks to Net speak, the term 'serious business' elicits giggles that confounds my conversation partner. Trufax. I had to explain to someone about the importance of the correct brand of toilet paper and he said not ironically, "This is serious business." I guffawed like a donkey on fire.

- Additionally, Zoolander made me forget that the correct term for 'investigatory journalist' is actually really 'investigative journalist'. The former came out in conversation the other day and I was completely stumped as to what the correct term was till Google informed me.

- Why is it that movies seem to run much longer than they really should these days? Indy Jones 4 was 2 hours and 2 minutes of total abomination and 21 could have been 21 times better if 21 minutes was cut from its total length of 2 hours and 3 minutes (clap, clap, clap). What happened to exercising some control in the editing room? Tighten up the script and cut the flab, script writers! Which leads me to my next thought.

- What could possibly go on in the Sex and the City movie to warrant a run time of 2 hours and 22 friggin' minutes?! I imagine the movie is made to stoke the fire of fangirls all across the nation but Christ on a stick, that's one long exercise in movie masturbation for a series that frankly wasn't all that good that people made it out to be.

- SatC is one of those things that people confess to liking as a guilty pleasure. Or if they like it, they'll say they like it best because of the strong friendship between the four leads or the fashion. Kind of like Gossip Girl. And how people only like it because of the relationships and wardrobe eye-candy. I have nothing else to add to this observation. I think there's something worth investigating there but it's not immediately obvious and I'm in a couldn't-be-arsed mood to think or formulate some kind of theory.

- There is this guy I know who I introduce as my cousin. We share the same last name and were born on the very same day a year apart. He too is a middle child and we both lack 20/20 vision. Character wise, we're as polar opposites as positive and negative come. One time, a mutual friend said, "Call your cousin to come out with us." And I was all, "What cousin?" I'm starting to forget which person I've told the lie too which is bad. We're now trying to push the fraternal twins angle because we roll that way. Stay tuned for more mischief and mayhem of the LAME-you're-the-only-one-laughing kind.

- I used to wonder why people believe the bullshit I make up. Every other person I meet I call cousin and depending on where people guess my (non)accent is from, I create a fake identity accordingly. Then I realized that it's because when we first meet people we take everything they say at face value. We don't stop to question their name and true identity because we assume they're telling the truth. This realization made me feel terrible for abusing people's trust, wonder how many people lie as well and what this compulsive lying says about my character. I think I'll stop lying when telling people that I'm Betty from a town called Riverdale, California stops being amusing. Which should be about, oh, never.

- A while ago I told Chaz that before I die, I would want to get blazed out of my mind with illegal substances so that I can experience the high without the consequences. Now, I think I'd be happy to go out in an edible orgy of egg-related food items. Bulls-eye, hardboiled, scrambled, hard boiled, cheese cakes, brownies, souffles, omelettes, chawan mushis... ahh. I'd be the most swollen and blotchy cremated body ever, but it would be complete and total eggstacy (clap).

Offline death in an online world.

When people die in real life, what happens to their online identity? I understand email accounts self-delete after a certain period of inactivity, but what about Facebook and Myspace accounts? If someone puts up a profile you on MyDeathSpace after your death, is that suppose to be enough to alert the online world about your demise? What happens to your eBay account if you have one? Especially if you were selling/bidding on things? And say you keep a blog? What happens to it?

I want to know the answers to these questions. I also want to know if it's considered too lame or of bad taste to engrave 'FAIL' or any of it's derivatives ('aboard the failboat'/'fail at life' etc) on a dead person's tombstone.

Incoherency

- A weekend with the family at Queensland just isn't enough. My family is one of those disgustingly Brady-like family with weekends scheduled for 'family time'. And rage against it I may have once, but my stance changed after realizing that acting like an idiot negates my right of making fun of other (worser) idiots. This past weekend at Surfer's Paradise also marks the first time the 5 of us have been away together since 2003 with no possibility for a recurrence in the near future. Hence with the added momentum of the weekend away, it was especially hard to walk away from the embrace of the doofuses + Mum that make up the Wongs. Still, the world turns on its axis, and life moves on.

- I'm not prone to grand hyperbolic statements. So when I say that I believe Surfer's Paradise to be the arsehole of the universe, it probably is.

And yeah, it really, totally is.

- Over the weekend, I read this book below.

The book started out really well, laying out the historical evidence of cannibalism throughout the centuries. Covering most of the different historical periods from the early Egyptians to the current century, the different reasonings behind the act of consuming the flesh was examined. But then in choosing to devote the majority of the book to profiling different cannibals, the tone of the book went from BBC-History-Channel documentary to schlocky E!-True-Hollywood-Story exposé . The similarities between the psyche of these cannibals was very informative to the reader, however the in depth, and we're talking 'the-thighs-and-calves-make-for-the-best-meat' kind-of-depths detail, of the murders and actual consumption was a bit much to take. I suppose at the end of the day, that was partly why I bought the book anyway. I mean, one doesn't pick up a book titled 'Eat Thy Neighbour' expecting a story about Care Bears with the disposition of Elmo, right? I did feel really queasy after finishing the book, more queasy than I felt after watching movies of the supposed torture porn genre. But then I ended the night eating raw salmon fish, so there's that.

- This book I also read over the weekend.

I had been meaning to read the book after experiencing the massively insane fandom, so it was with much excitement that I started the book. Going into it, all I knew that it involved a love story between a human and a vampire who meet at high school. Before starting it, I gleaned off the paper that in the Top Five Best-Selling Australian Sci-Fi/Fantasy, this book and its consequent sequels scored #1, #4 and number #5 respectively. Which, frankly, is both ridiculous and spectacular enough to warrant disbelief and curiosity. I wanted to know what the hype was all about and why the people on the LiveJournal community I frequent applied the massive sparkle effects in posts. And oh boy is the reveal friggin' hilarious and so worth the read. Can I just admit right now that I am hopelessly addicted to ONTD?

Anyway, the book as a whole makes for an entertaining read. Personally, I have found another to be more superior when it comes to the Young Adult fantasy/romance fiction genre that Stephanie Meyers based her book upon. And I think the comparisons between Harry Potter and this book is completely unfounded, especially with the existence of the Night World series. Twilight was great at the start as the tension between the two protagonists build, but past the reveal and the common understanding, the story moves toward the kind of fluff that serves to whet the emotions and fire of dedicated fans. It's all dreamy prose of everlasting love, wants, needs and haves that defies reason. Which, you know, isn't bad, but pales in comparison to the other author my allegiance lies with, because she at least doesn't let the story degenerate into fluffy fanfiction.

- I sound really obsessive about Night World but that probably is because I am.

- If I could go back to Twilight for a bit though; after completing the book, I'm not sure that it will translate well to the film medium. There are only so many things CGI can do, but if and when the SPARKLE happens (sniggers), the film could potentially degenerate into one long LOL-lercoaster ride. I suppose I'm only expressing this issue because ONTD has ruined me.

- I've had the startling realization that James McAvoy is in fact, a Scottish version of Diego Luna! Or perhaps, Diego Luna a Mexican version of McAvoy? The point is besides both actors bearing a resemblance to each other, both are also incredibly talented and are slowly getting the limelight they deserve. They both have a very alluring appeal that isn't immediately obvious at first glance. And superficially, what they lack in height, they make up for in hotness. You heard it here first!

Breaking the bank.

I just spend close to $500 on polaroid film from eBay.
I recently bought three CDs.
And I still need to buy new batteries for my CD player.
I bought a film camera just last month.
To use the film that I bought from New Zealand at the start of the year.

Would that I could get over my infatuation with lo-fi technology. Maybe that money can be funneled towards better opportunities.

However, I have very strongly embraced the ordering-food-online movement.

'Sup, Dominos?

Bolded = truths

It's like updating, but without the typing and thinking of new stuff to write about!

Appearance
I am shorter than 5'4".
I think I'm ugly sometimes. - is that egotistical not bolding that? (I've got a lot of self-confidence.)
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/had braces.
I wear glasses.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears. - had/going to.
I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I've had children.
I've lost a child.

School/Work
I'm in school.
I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I've missed a week or more of school.
I've been on the Honor Roll.
Within the last 2 years I failed more than 1 class.
I've stolen something from my job.
I've been fired.
I've skipped school.

Embarrassment
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've peed from laughing.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've had my pants rip in public.

Traveling
I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I've been to Mexico.
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.

Experiences
I've gotten lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've been an abuse victim. - by the hands of one manager from Maccas, hell yeah
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play.
I've met someone in person from the internet.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi.
I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've had someone cheat on me.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of commitment.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've cheated in a relationship.
I've gotten divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I've had a crush on a teacher.
I love to flirt.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've hugged a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
I am a terrible liar.
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol
I've consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I've passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I've smoked weed.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I'm a stoner.
I've snorted cocaine.
I've eaten shrooms.
I've popped E.
I've done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I'm anorexic or bulimic.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.
I've cried myself to sleep.
I see a therapist.

Death and Suicide
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I've attempted suicide.
I've written a eulogy for myself

Materialism
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

Political/Social Attitudes
In general, I don't like people.
I'm a feminist.
I'm outgoing.
I listen to political music.
I'm Democratic.
I'm Republican.
I'm liberal.
I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush.
I'm religious.
I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."

Random
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don't kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I'm good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names.
I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Short recap

It started with me completing my tutorial readings for a debate that I have to prepare for next week.

Then I trawled the Interwebs for further information. "Control yourself" was the mantra in my head as I logged online.

It went smoothly at first. I found a lot of articles that could help my case in the debate. I was feeling good about everything. I decided to take a break and oh, what a mistake it was!

On LiveJournal, I exchanged comments with a friend about Mac-wankerists (verdict: the bane of modern society) and mobile phones.

I felt compelled to hit up CNet to check up the specs of the Hip Top 2/Sidekick 2 that my inner thirteen year old wants to own.

And then got sidetracked reading about the Creative Zen Stone Plus With Speakers, which by the way is the actual name for the new MP3 player with in-built speakers, if that wasn't obvious enough.

Which made me realize how I was obsessed with the Samsung YP-K5 last year. That and the Microsoft Zune were the only MP3 players I'd be interested in purchasing then. Course we all know how Zune fared, so my interest died a lot.

Next, just to satisfy my curiosity, I went to good ol' eBay to suss out the prices of the Creative and Samsung MP3 players. And whatdayaknow, they're both actually in my price range!

So now, I end the night wondering where that control went and if I really will be fulfilling a long-time desire and obsession. As I attempt to sleep later, I will reflect on my addiction to eBay and ponder on it's ramifications. If I have my way, in a week, Death Cab will play from built-in speakers while I chew on those pesky thoughts.

Hello, world!

From Pajiba's 'What's in a Ringtone?' comment diversion today. The question was what was your ringtone and why.

"*Deep Breath* Soulja Boy. An uninspired piece summer garbage? Yes. Catchy? Undeniably. However, there is a story behind it. In my Speech and Communications 101 class, we were told to do a demonstrative speech. In this, right after the summer of the Soulja Boy blitz, I was inspired to demonstrate to the class how to do the dance. After a few weeks of studying every move, I was ready. And so I, the quiet, nerdy-enough-to-know-Pajiba kid stood up and danced my lily-white ass off. If it was a movie I would've gotten a date with Molly Ringwald and probably knocked out the captain of the football team. As it is, I was widely known as Soulja Boy for the rest of the semester. (Is that a good thing?)

Posted by: TyranThesaurus Rex at March 19, 2008 3:13 PM

Things to love about this response
1. That this TTRex dude would even admit to Soulja Boy being his ringtone.
2. That he studied the moves!
3. That a (self-described) quiet nerdy kid would be inspired to 'crank dat' in front of the class.
4. That he used Molly Ringwald as the fictional hot chick and not someone like Megan Fox instead.
5. What's not to love about Superman-ning that ho?

"My phone now has the old-school vibrating/normal phone ring combo going on after my friend told me the most horrific story a couple of weeks ago about why you should never have a song as a ringtone.

Her father collapsed at her sister's rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, and as he's in the hospital - possibly dying, possibly already dead - they're in the waiting room having a prayer circle with all the members of her family and their preacher, when her phone goes off....the siren call of of Snoop Dogg's "Sexual Seduction" filling the room.

Posted by: feramones at March 19, 2008 3:26 PM

Oh dear!

I obviously picked up a new html code and am now showing it off.

For your stalking purposes my ringtone is an mp3 file of Guns 'N' Roses, Paradise City. Before that it was an mp3 of Sneaker Pimps', Six Underground and way before before, it was the theme song of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Prior to that it was your standard ring-ring-ring tone.

My wake up alarm is Daft Punk's, One More Time.

Since I've started using phones, I have used a Nokia 8210, a Samsung ?, an LG U8210 and a Sony Ericsson k610i. The Nokia has been my favourite, but the Sony Ericsson is pretty bad ass too. By far, the worst has been the LG. That phone has scarred me off using any further LG products.

---

Completely unrelated but I really like this post by Sarah Schneider, writer extraordinaire of College Humor. She talks about quantifying her love for music.

"...it’s the feeling that washes over you and completely consumes all your senses when you hear a track that moves you. When you hear a song that sparks a memory so intense that the nostalgia is overwhelming. Or when a song fits your current place in life so profoundly that its very presence in your world brings a clarity and perspective otherwise lost. That is what I think it means to love music..."

I can only wish to be that articulate in my next life.

Some things...

I imagine that if I stayed alone, any visitor to my place would be undeniably floored by the mess. I can see it in my mind; the dishes piled up in the sink, clothes spread all over every single surface, shoes scattered where least appropriate. My books would be littered throughout every room in the apartment, arts and crafts supply taking up their spots on what should have been my study table and socks missing their pair that would be hiding beneath the pile of clothes in the corner. My bed will never be made, nor will my accessories be hanging in their rightful spot. The couch will have a permanent Karen-shaped outline and DVDs will be lucky to be within 5 feet of their cases. The place will be a fire hazard what with the newspaper, magazines and articles covering the carpet. I would come home everyday, take a look at the mess and attempt to clean it up but invariably, the effort will simply amount to the redistribution of said mess.

I wish I could afford leaving alone.

Some things to think about

1. This year the weekend my birthday landed on was completely shithouse. I was in a funk I couldn't break out of and as a result, I acted like a right cunt towards friends who were being so absolutely kind and fantastic. If you're reading this, you know who you are. I am sorry. I'm a terrible bastard.

2. Thanks to good friends and long conversations, I got back to my usual level of not-quite-such-a-douche. If you're reading this, you also know who you are. Thank you for putting up with me.

3. Then while cleaning my house because all that was clean was a 1 m strip of carpet, I came across a bulging envelope. Inside were letters and cards from friends that were sent when I was away. Previous birthday cards, holiday cards, post cards, innocuous letters and snail mail - what a treat. Thank you to everyone who's contributed to that pile. You probably forgot, but if you're wondering if that includes you, odds are, it probably does.

4. It's strange explaining to people who don't celebrate what Chinese New Year is all about. I don't pretend to know the actual meaning behind it - family, food and gambling, no? Even weirder is being constantly reminded that the city will in fact not go into shut down. So the local sundry shop WILL be open? Lies. What a mind trip.

5. I think The Darjeeling Limited is Wes Anderson's best work.

6. In my weekend of self-inflicted funk-itude, I watched all 5 Harry Potter movies. These are some things I learned:
- Daniel Radcliffe does his best work in the presence of Gary Oldman
- Redhead Grint has had very the best comedic timing since the first movie.
- #1 and #2 are virtually unwatchable, in no part because the kids are young and the direction is pretty unfulfilling.
- #3 is the best of the lot.
- This is closely followed by #5.
- Helena Bonham Carter is a goddess.
- Daniel Radcliffe is pretty damn spunky.

7. The nose is one of the worst places on the entire body to get an itch. Not enough skin and too much angles equates to much unsatisfactory scratching.

8. The soundtrack to Across The Universe is almost sublime. I could have done without 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' and would have much preferred Jim Sturgess' 'All You Need is Love'. Nonetheless, 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' and 'Strawberry Fields Forever' are legendary.

9. Christ! Wikipedia says that there is a deluxe edition of the Across The Universe OST roaming around somewhere with addition of said song above. Guess we're back to hunting record stores.

10. I've been following the US Presidential Nomination campaign quite closely. It's rather interesting how in both parties (Democrats especially), the nom is relatively wide open for grabs. Very interesting indeed.

21 things in 7 minutes

To be quite honest, I never really understood the big deal about turning 21. So yeah, I can vote, I can drink, I can gamble, I am accountable for everything from now on. I can legally go into the Sex shop and not get worried about being chased out. I can watch every type of movie ever created if I so please, I can eat, drink, buy almost everything under the sun. I am an adult.

But 21 is just a number. It doesn't mean that things in life are going to change. Tomorrow my room is still going to be a mess and my books are going to stay spread all over the floor. I won't stop giggling over fart jokes and I sure as hell ain't going to be growing any taller. The dishes in the sink won't magically wash themselves, nor will the clothes in the laundry hamper or the floor that needs vacuuming.

So, please. Someone. Anyone. Please tell me what's the big friggin' deal about 21?

You, Me and Everyone We Know

This is one of my favourite-st quotes from a TV programme ever.

The people you work with, are people you were just thrown together with. You don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family, but probably all you've got in common, is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day.

I ruminate a lot on the accuracy and poignancy of this quote whenever my mind wanders. After that, I smile when I think how Tim and Dawn end up together as you knew they should be from the start.

---

I wish there was a way to bundle everyone I love into a little tugboat so that I may never be without their company ever again. Everyone is scattered all over the place - technology is the glue that holds us all together. Technology isn't even concrete; it could be taken away from us with the destruction of a limb from the Machine. I am constantly guilty of taking advantage of it's infinite pervasiveness. "Oh yeah, I'll call home tomorrow." Tomorrow becomes the next day and the day after, and before I know it, two weeks later I hear the voice of a disappointed father on the end of the line.

Apparently, in my world, communication and the act of communicating is highly dependent on physical proximity.

Bet?

Thanks to the public of Australia voting in Kevin Rudd as the new PM, I can do this:



and this;



Also, this:



Word to the wise: I take my bets very seriously.

The Wongs meet Web 2.0!

Hi dear,

This is my new email address.Learning from scratch.Never too old to learn, right. Do keep in touch with me.

Your old man.Luv.

Oh man. On that same day, I found out my sister has a working email address.

-dies in shock, mid-laughter-