Monday, November 24, 2008

Help, please?

So I really want to watch Twilight. Because hell, if I had to read those 4 series, I better have man-candy to perve on, you know? And what better form do they come in than Robert Pattinson and Jackson Rathborne?

The thing is, my want for watching that movie does not surpass my want for not wanting to pay to watch the movie. Are you still with me? Good. So I attempted to be all sneaky and win tickets thinking if I do win merchandise, all those suckers will fall prey to my eBay exclusive sale of the century. But naturally, since Stephanie Meyer is a cockblocking piece of work, the contest has to be her brand of fail too.


I simply cannot find it within myself to come up with a good enough lie about how I love Twilight in 20 words or less. Twilight, is essentially Twatlight to me. And really, the only answer my brain can come up with is this:


Fine. I'll pay my way there, fuck you very much.

Friday, November 21, 2008

This is why, this is why I'm hot

The other day I got reprimanded by my parents for using a vulgar word. I was like, "Nuh-uh. I didn't say 'cunt'. Did I?" Even my sister was confused, on my side agreeing that I said no such vulgarity.

As it turns out, my parents are that old-fashioned that they still consider 'asshole' a vulgarity. And I apparently use the word so much so that it's now entered my daily vernacular. This I'm not so much worried about. What I am slightly worried about is this:

"Suck my non-existent massive hairy balls".

Frankly, I find it really funny since you know, girl here, hello. But I keep saying it unconsciously as a retort, and people's WTF-boggled-eye look, is making me wonder if perhaps I should do something and try to curb my language. I also say, "kiss my black ass" constantly, although that's more of a tribute to my favourite cartoon character, not that my ass is black in anyway (I don't think). I feel like I should do something about this cussing issue, but I couldn't be fucked really.

Friday, October 17, 2008

A retiree, no more.

As luck would have it, I currently no longer qualify as a 21 year old retiree. In what has been a really bizarre month, I found myself going from bumming slacker to applying for internships on a whim, going to Turkey for a holiday, coming back to agree to a same-day interview (when I'm icky and probably infested with international air bugs!), scrambling for certificates and laughing at how all the stupid random shit I did in my life actually amounted to legit qualifications, getting hired on the spot, going to Singapore, coming back to start at the company, and fast forward everything it's now 2.18 am and I still have a proposal to finish up and 39 scripts to write. On top of that, I have a lot of mail to reply (it's coming!), friends coming next month (not like that's a minus), sewing projects to start on, a Turkey post to write, a scrapbook to do and my family just introduced a new member to the household. As much as I dislike little yappy dogs, I got to admit that this little poodle, possibly Maltese mix, is probably churned from the factories of Hallmark. It's so cute and sweet you can't hate on it. You think you've had enough of it, but damn, you just keep coming back for more. Him, I mean. Little yappy things are generally it to me.

Here's a few things in point form because I'm too damn lazy and don't have the time to write things in a paragraph since apparently I do not understand the concept of brevity:

1. I don't take to naming things that I own. So I haven't had much practice in giving things name. I'm tempted to pull a Holly Golightly and just name that poodle, Dog, but it's technically not mine to name, so I'm leaving it up to the rest of the household instead. If I had my way I'd probably name it something extravagantly stupid like Mr. Periwinkles or something. I'm pushing for a cat now since I love my felines. But as it is, my dad thinks cats are too snobbish and therefore not worthy of his time.

2. Working in a team consisting of all guys is no problem to me, but Mr. Boss seems to think that since I'm the token girl he should go easy on me. As a feminist who believes in equality among genders, I cannot agree with his sentiments. I know I should be reveling in the easier ride, but I like to earn my keep, be it a stupid lowly-paid, like we're talking sad sad pittance, mission or not.

3. Putting the toilet seat down got tired by mid-day on my first day but I can't moan about since I generally play by majority rules. And in this case, I'm really, really a minority here.

4. I feel a bit cheated working now since my work experience is nothing like what I observed on The Office. Where's our Dwight and Kelly Kapoor?! In fact our office is nothing like what I thought it would be. Everyday while we work, Bruce Lee, Limp Bizkit, System of A Down and Korn supervises from their positions on the walls.

5. My Fujitsu is not back yet and I'm missing it greatly. Watch me make out with it when it returns. I swear to Allah I really will.

6. While prepping for my interview, I went through past certificates to suss out the usable ones. My old report cards were kept in the same file I keep all my certs in. Going through the report cards, I realize that my success rate in school is totally inverse to the years I'm actually at school. I started out a grade A kid in Standard 1, jumped a grade and fell slightly to a A- in Standard 5, pulled a B average when I was in Form 2/3 and then deteriorated to a B-/C+/AddMaths+BM=fail student by the time I was in Form 5. I never really understood how I scraped through the final assessment in the last year of high school (and not fail anything!) considering I never finished a single Malay essay, never even read the Malay literature we were examined upon, failed Chemistry, Add Maths,and BM during the mid-year exams, and only handed in my homework on alternate weeks. I call it insanely good luck I didn't flunk out mid-way let alone pass my exam and not garner a single C. Who knows, maybe out there there's another Karen W. whose still moaning about her bad luck during SPM '03.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Quick Recap of the the Life of a 21 year old Retiree

- Such is my life now that I can name you the value of every single letter according to Scrabble rules. Is are probably my least favourite vowel ever. Out of the 9 Is that can be found in a full set, I usually get at least 4 of them while playing. Argh. Hate Is.

- I actually won a match of Scrabble the other night. Since I lack a single competitive bone in my body, I usually couldn't be arsed as to how I finish. But man, Scrabble mojo was in the air and I was the pwnxorrs. Lady Luck was on my side and the tiles I pulled were absolutely beautiful. I finished just shy off 200 points. I'm thinking now would be a good time to retire the game since I doubt I'll be able to eclipse that performance in the future.

- Since I don't have any income to spend, I've been holding back on any kind of clothes shopping. Instead I've taken to pilfering my parent's wardrobe and working on altering their clothes to something I would wear. Assuming my sewing skills don't fail me now, there should be a smorgasboard of new clothes to wear in the future. I really want to break out my mum's sewing machine, but bearing in mind my disastrous experience with her kitchen mixers (3 dead and buried), I'm very wary. As is she understandably.

- I've sent my laptop in for much needed service finally. Friends will know that the ADSL port and internal speakers have been busted for close to two years now. Take relief in knowing that my poor laptop is finally getting some TLC downtime, guys.

- I guess I don't have the best track record when it comes to taking care of my electronics. Every mobile I've owned has always needed the assistance of a rubberband to be held together eventually. My SE k610i is going slightly schizoid on me now and switching off without warning. My laptop, of course, is currently enjoying what I imagine to be a relaxing spa holiday at the moment. And currently tape is the only thing that's keeping my Pentax from falling apart. For some inexplicable reasons, all the screws that held my camera together have fallen and disappeared in the 3 years I've owned it. I swear to Yahweh that I don't do anything out of the ordinary to ruin my things! It's not my fault they can't stand the heat. I refuse too baby my belongings and keep them in socks and pouches and the like.

- I suppose that's part of the reason why I covet the Suzuki Vitara JLX so badly. It's a pretty old ass model that even the manufacturer has retired, but my research tells me that it can hold it's own and withstand rough handling, scratches and the like.

- I've just received my tax returns and I'm deciding how I should use it:
a) Put it in my fixed deposit account (*yawn*)
b) Go on a holiday (Bali, maybe?)
c) Buy a new digital camera (*pants*)
I've sussed out the cameras I'm interested in purchasing and I've realized taking into consideration my very specific requirements, the options I have are severely limited. It all comes down to cameras made in 2004 that aren't exactly fresh on the market. I'm thinking perhaps the (hopefully) cheaper cost might outweigh the older technology? Or I could loosen up a little and cave on certain requirements. We'll see.

- 'Asshole' is the word of the moment; and out of respect to my religious friends, and newly religious brother, 'Ya Allah', the phrase. I don't understand how saying what is basically 'oh my God' in Malay acceptable and non-blasphemous if I'm still using God's name in vain anyway. But I guess that's just another little inconsistency in the logic of religion. Yeah, I saw the oxymoron there.

- A plane flight to Turkey awaits and I'll be off till the 9th of October. I hope to eat much Turkish food and soak up more history. Since it's Hari Raya all over, I'm banking on some marvelous sights indeed.

- Since I chose to my time updating this blog instead of replying to emails, I'm just going to use this as a platform to send messages to people who I owe emails to:

Nick: Greatness happened in Istanbul in 2005 and I get to go there and you don't.
Nye-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. I can't say much for Fernando Torres, but I'm pretty goddamn awesome. :D Also, your room is bitch ass. I approve!

Ad: Sew more, woman! You've got some mad skills. You can be like little J in Gossip Girl, with the sewing and the DIY-ing.

Charm: Woman, three words: ESSAYS. NOW. GO. True Blood is so lulzy and I really dislike Anna Paquin as Sookie. But Daniel Craig is awesome! He's like a man's man. Not pretty like Chace Crawford or precious like Lee Pace. Manly man, man! Rawr.

Jon: I'll be sure to eat enough pita bread and hummus for you, kid. Have fun on your school break! Text us and tell us how you're doing and in turn I'll rub it in your face all that you're missing out on.

Jim: Dude, quit stalking me! Internet dating was made for people like you, so get on that!

Chrissy: I demand you set up a blog and write about your experiences while in UK. Or email us more often. Is it everything that you thought it would be? Were all your fears completely unfounded?

Sam: (I don't actually know if the Snakes reads this, but let's assume that she does) My glibness probably ruined my chances for this job I really want which I applied for. I couldn't help it. It was 6 in the am and I was running on zero sleep, you know how I get. How long do you reckon I should wait for a reply before getting the hint and pissing off?

All right then. Autobots, roll out.

Friday, September 12, 2008



Please believe me when I say I have the worst luck when it comes to Scrabble. Pictures cause it ALWAYS happens. More epic fail at my Flickr page.


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The difference between

Moving back to a place I merely formally consider 'home' has been a very strange process. In the five years I've lived away, I have grown both mentally and physically and it feels like there exists this unbridgeable chasm between the mature adult and the teenager that remembers life differently (simpler). I will be Malaysia-based until further notice and I am gradually acclimatizing to the different living/social conditions here. While that's working out, I can't help but point out some traits that I find uniquely Malaysian:

1. Restaurants pile on the ice before pouring in the drink which leads to a cup of very diluted Coke after two minutes. Perhaps it's got to do with the warmer weather here, but man, 3/4 cup full of ice seems a tad extreme to me.

2. Of all the places I've traveled to, only in Malaysia do official forms require you to state your race. Given Malaysia's history, the topic of race is undoubtedly highly contentious. I have to wonder if there are ulterior motives for making the public divulge this little tidbit of information apart from census reasons. Which brings me to my next point.

3. It's a well-known fact that corruption is rife among our local government here. The fact that that is an undeniable fact, and not mere speculation or conspiracy theory trips me out muchly. People here are very passionate about bitching about the state of things.

4. I completely forgot how Malaysians mix other languages nonchalantly in their everyday conversation. Honest to blog, I don't know how that little Malaysian quirk slipped my mind considering it's so prevalent. It's rather amusing to have a conversation where one party is speaking in Cantonese while the other is answering in English.

5. In unrelated news, I actually detest the term 'honest to blog' which if you can't remember originates from Diablo Cody's Juno. I like the show well enough but I have to admit that the first 15 minutes annoyed me greatly with it's new-fangled hip lingo (observe: "That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet." ????!!!!?!?!?!?) and twee Moldy Peaches soundtrack to the so-cute-I'm-a-diabetic-now credits. Eeek.

6. Moving back on topic, the speech patterns and local slang here are definitely one-in-a-kind. I get called out for acting pretentious when I speak English, when really the only difference is I accentuate different parts of a word. I've never really used the 'localized' English commonly known as Manglish (Malaysian English) much, and I don't fancy being called a snob just because I refuse to ruin the English language in order to fit in. As if I don't get enough flack when speaking English, I also get called a banana when attempting to speak Cantonese/Mandarin and a poser when whipping out Bahasa Melayu. Sometimes I just can't win.

7. Malaysians like their brands very much - clothes, bags, cars. Is it a curious fact that snatch theives and robbers operate highly efficiently here?

8. I also forgot just how passionate Malaysians are about their food. We will drive to the other side of town for good satay or risk contracting food poisoning for the best seafood that is located at the dingiest ports. Hell, they'd probably drive all the way to Melaka to talk politics over a plate of chicken rice.

9. I suppose the last thing that stumps me about Malaysia is the fact that the international movies screened at local cinemas follow no certain order here. Australia follows the US quite closely in terms of new releases and being aware of the seasonal movie offerings in the States you learn to expect certain things. Like summer season in the States (June/July/August) means fun, frivolous movies for the fun seeking people on holiday. That means lots of comedies, kid-friendly flicks and mindless fluff, eg Tropic Thunder, The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia etc. while fall might mean more serious flicks, Oscar contenders and the like. The system in Malaysia seems not to acknowledge any of this. Wall-E and The Mummy 3 is out but so is Deception and Penelope, the former which bombed in Australia and the latter which doesn't even have a release date yet. I am so confused. This messes up everything.

10. And I'm not even going to start on movie censorship in Malaysia. All I will say is there is no point rating your movies if you're going to cut out all the cuss words/sex scenes/violent bits regardless of classification anyway.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Questions and answers

I want to know why reading eBooks, that is books in electronic form (.pdf/.lit/.word), is considered nerdier that just reading plain physical books. Given the time and age where 'e' is the prefix of choice for many activities, why is it that I get looks of "okayyyyyyyy" when I tell people that I'm reading electronically?

They're much easier to transport around,
take up very little space (depending on your reading medium), are technically better for the environment - no pages = no tree massacres = no landfill and well, if you know where to look, they're free. So why the discrimination?

Perhaps a better question.

Why do I get embarrassed telling people that I read eBooks?

I scoffed so hard when the Kindle was released. And now I'm reaping the benefits that a laptop and torrents can bring. I don't like being wrong in my assessment of things, but I'll always own up to my mistakes.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Only in dreams

I sleep a lot, hence I dream a lot. But that is not true. For me, it's always been more the case of I dream a lot, hence I sleep a lot. I never daydream while awake, but when asleep, man, my brain thinks up the wildest scenarios. And I have to admit that I really like these dreams. Which is why, I think I like sleeping so much.

The very first dream I remember having happened when I was six. I dreamt that I was somehow transported to the Land of Oz and all the major players were there - Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, hell, even the Flying Monkeys. I suppose, it wouldn't be wrong to say that in that dream, I was playing the character of Dorothy. I don't remember how it ended. But I remember waking up feeling very unsatisfied, wanting to finish out the magical dream. No matter how I tried to reproduce the situations leading up to sleep time (not showering, sleeping at the same time, in the same position) I never revisited that dream, much to my disappointment.

Ever since then, I've had a variety of dreams, the majority which have been weirdly enough reality-based. By that I mean most dreams have been lacking such fantastical elements. Well, except zombies. But they're the undead. And fun. And possibly very real if you believe Cracked. Anyway, these dreams usually involve real people and real places, people I know and places I've been to. If you're my friend, I've definitely dreamt about you before. Not long ago a classmate from primary school who I haven't talked to in 14 years showed up in my dreams. It was very bizarre but nonetheless a nice surprise from this blast from the past.

Some of my dream highlights are:-

- dreaming every single one of my family, bar my sister, died (in separate sleeps). These three dreams remain the only ones I've woken up in tears. I don't know why Gill is the exception to the rule.
- Hanson appearing in my dreams (I was 11)
- dreaming I was a cop
- dreaming I was a track athlete
- dreaming I was an evil demon hunter ala Buffy or the Winchester boys from Supernatural
- lucid dreaming while sleeping in exams. During Form 5, whenever I would fall asleep during exams, I would always end up lucid dreaming. I would always be dreaming but I knew I was dreaming, so the dreams would be me trying to wake myself but no matter what I did I couldn't wake myself up. Those were fun times.

- a recurring nightmare that I used to have, that thankfully hasn't appeared in the past 2 years, so maybe I should say 'a nightmare I use to have' instead of recurring.

- running. I have run more in my dreams than I have in real life.
- adventure quests! These ones are very fun and I usually try to go back to sleep if awaken prematurely.

Recently, first of many previously undreamed dreams happened.

1) I dreamt in a whole different language. Needless to say, English is my main language, even in my dreams. But the other night, I ended up conversing in Bahasa Melayu for the first time. That was pretty funny. The next night, Cantonese was prevalent in my dream. Yet even though I barely speak or understand it, I understood everything.

2) For the first time ever, I appeared naked in my dream! I hear that it is a common dream and up until last week, it's never happened to me so I was very excited when I woke up to realize that I was naked in my dream. In that dream, I was at the beach and sun-tanning naked. Somehow I was caught on camera and that film was broadcast on mainstream TV at a diner where I was eating. I don't pretend to know what all this means. I just find it amusing that my dreams are so rich.

3) Since last month, I have been dreaming more frequently about taking pictures in my dream. I will usually be wielding my Pentax (I can't even dream up a DSLR, goddamn) and snapping away at everything. It's like I'm observing my dreamscapes and trying to take pictures to remember it all.

Last night I had another dream about taking photographs. For some inexplicable reason I was put in charge of a photoshoot, and when I tried wielding my digital camera, it literally fell apart in my hands. So I broke out my film camera and go to work, but I couldn't get the shot I wanted no matter what I did.

I don't think that all dreams necessarily have meaning. I certainly don't think that my dreams are anything more than random synapses in the brain. Most of them at least. I just thought I'd record this down for posterity.

If someone were to ask me if I am a dreamer, I would take a moments pause to deliberate on the implications of that question. I do not daydream, and I certainly don't have big aspirations or goals in life. But I am guilty of spending time in the unconscious realm and loving it. In every sleep, I hope to dream and when I don't, I feel strangely unsatisfied. In that sense, I suppose, I can answer an unabashed yes.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

This post is dedicated to the Prepster

In honour of your 21st, this pic spam is dedicated to you. I'm sorry your birthday was so shitty, mostly cause I wasn't there to add the dazzle component in your day. And technically, this pic spam is two days late. But my Internet was being a shitty little cockblocking bitch, so let's just pretend it's the 6th of July all over again okay?

This strangely disturbing picture of Voldy, Bellatrix, Dumblydore and Pottah welcomes you to the mother of all picspams.

Smile like you mean it!

[add on]: Obviously this post is coming out much later than "two days late". But well, let's say delays were necessary due to a grueling schedule and important GChats, okay? Right on.

Warning: This picspam is severely limited because a) my heterosexuality means I have more pictures of guys in my folder and b) you have pretty shitty taste in female celebrities. Oh gosh, maybe I should lay off the mocking since this post is meant to be a gift (of some sort). Anyhow, I have searched through all my picture folders and I think you'll be sufficiently happy with the pictures I have compiled. Or maybe not. The purpose of picspams is to perve, and I'm an equal opportunity perve. I have endeavoured to add some pictures of Miss-Acts-With-Her-Eyebrows but I don't think you'll like the context they're in.

Onwards with the picspam!

We begin with some old school Harrison Ford. I know you love the Indiana Jones trilogy (we do not speak of the fourth) and as I've mentioned before, I'm rather fond of Han Solo so it's like a win-win situation.

You were the only person I knew who didn't think Casino Royale would bomb with Daniel Craig at the helm, and obviously we're having the last laughs now. Well, technically the movie studios are. But po-tay-to, po-tah-to. To thank you for your support, here is a picture of the lovely Eva Green.

Okay, so you didn't actually care one bit about the casting in the movie. But you let me rant about it and pretended to be interested, as you do whenever I get on a pop-culture related tangent, so I'm grateful for that.

Gratuitous pictures of Scarlett Johansson, because everybody should appreciate how hot she is;

At least we're in agreement with when it comes to the status of her gorgeousness.

But proving that brunettes are inherently hotter, here is Eliza Dushku.

She remains my favourite Slayer till this day.

Oh, you don't believe my theory about brunettes doing it better? Well, observe:

Kristen Kreuk: The best thing to come from Smallville apart from Michael Rosenbaum

Zooey Deschanel: breaking hearts with her baby blues since she was two (okay, I just wanted to rhyme)

Audrey Tautou: showing the world how to be truly fierce. Tyra, take note

Natalie Portman: My orignal girl crush.

Keira Knightley: My second girl crush.

Gael Garcia Bernal: Y HELLO THAR. What a pleasant surprise. What choo doing here?

Alexis Bledel: All the roses in the world can't buy her acting chops, but gosh, aren't those eyes something else?

Liv Tyler: I can't think of anything to say cause all I can focus on are LEGS.

Jim Sturgess: Making Nick squeal since he first saw a face in Across The Universe

If you're still not convinced that theory has any grounds, I present to you three pictures I would casually call my 'trump cards';

It's common law by now that you can't put Gael up without including Diego Luna

Oh, wait for it;


Do you believe now?!?

Alright, so it's been established then. Going by hair colour, brunettes tend to be hotter than blondes. It's just a fact. Learn it, love it, spread it.

More pictures of ScarJo for your time;

And here's one random Elisha I found in my files.

I still don't get her appeal

Now, as I'm sure you know, Nick, a Nick picspam would not be complete without one certain actress from a very popular Young Adult movie/book franchise.

This is not it.

Deadric Diggory is unimpressed with your tomfoolery

For the random reader at home, here's a chance for you to play along. Guess which pretty princess from the Harry Potter franchise, Nick is completely enamoured with?

Right off the bat, I can tell you that Ronald Weasley is not in the running.

Sucks to be me

Actually Nick isn't a big fan of the Wealeys at all, so Ginny is out:

as are Ginger Twins,

and my favourite stoner hobo, RPattz.

Remember. Early on, I gave you a very big clue about Nick's preference in actresses (read: pretty shitty). That should be a dead giveaway right there. So unfortunately, Katie Leung/Cho Chang is not the one.

although I don't understand why, cause home girl cleans up great.

And by that extension, neither is Clemence Poesy/Fleur Delacouer.

There's something about French women

Yes, unbelievably and rather anti-climatically, it is none other than Eyebrows herself, Emma Watson/Hermione.

Classy broad

I guess she's attractive enough, but honestly. With so many other pretty actors in the mix, she really doesn't stand out all that much. But I suppose it's one of your little quirks, Nick - picking the most random people to fanboy about.

Here's a bunch of pictures of her looking relatively cute.

Guess whose hand is she holding?

Why it's none other than Pottah himself!

Stab, stab, stab. I like inflicting pain and chagrin where possible


I think her cuteness quotient gets higher around Mr Pottah himself. Well, obviously he rubs off on her. Perhaps in more ways than one. Oh, that's right. I so went there.

Some visual with your chagrin, sir?

Tee hee!

I mock because I love. I'm sure you know how this works by now. That being said, I am sincerely sorry your 21st was terrible. At least you've managed to find little things that have made the day better (card/phone calls/this - because we're still making like this was posted on your actual birthday, you see). I know that next year's birthday is going to be fantastic and you know how I know that? Cause my friends and I are going to cut whatever bitch that stands in the way of your day.

Me and mah friends just hanging at a nearby street

I don't even know where to start in thanking you for everything. To compress our relationship and inside jokes into two trite lines seems like a terrible crime. I suppose I could try, but I've never been as eloquent as you and fuck me, putting this together has been a HTML nightmare, so I'm pretty much brain dead at this point.. Instead, I'll end this post with something the both of us can appreciate; macros. This is a personal favourite,

I'm sure you can understand why. Happy 21st, Prepster! Belated. Or whatever.

Friday, July 04, 2008

The difference between who you are and how people see you

Recently I learned that some friends have found this blog. It isn't hard to, I am very aware of the virtual bread crumbs that I have left on the world wide web. Yet, although I knew full well what leaving those links could entail, the discovery of my blog by said friend kind of paralyzed me with fear. For a minute, I panicked and almost had a melt down. I worried about what I had said here and hoped that I hadn't offended anyone. For a second I contemplated deleting this blog. And then I mentally shook myself off and got over it.

Okay, some context.
I'll 'fess up to being a non-committal worrier. What that means is that I might worry about something or someone intensely for a short period of time but say, after a couple of hours or days, I'll basically think, "fuck it", and move on. I often worry about how others perceive me, but never for long periods of time. It's usually short bursts that occur when I've done something weird or said something out of the ordinary. Mostly I'm worried about what the people I call friends think about me. As obnoxious as this sounds, I couldn't be stuffed with what strangers or new acquaintances think about me. After all, it's the opinions of those that matter that counts most, right?

So I have to admit, when my friend remarked that he had come across my blog, I was very worried if his opinion of me had changed. I don't even know what his opinion is. I just wondered if it had taken a turn for the negative. A while ago, a friend mentioned that I came across much angrier on my blog than in real life. It's not a conscious thing that I do - release my frustrations here, but I suppose those feelings could seep out in the way I write. I wouldn't classify myself as a self-conscious person, but I have to admit that I spend more time than I like on wondering what my friends think about me.

I wonder if they get annoyed with me. I have a very loose sense of humour and will basically laugh at everything and anything. I wonder if they find that quality atrocious. I wonder sometimes if I'm being too touchy-feely. Or perhaps not touchy-feely enough. I'm afraid of coming of as pretentious when I talk about films and music. I worry about coming off arrogant because I'm pretty self-assured and self-confident, when let's face it, I have little to crow about. I worry that I'm not good enough a friend. I worry if they would still talk to me if they knew how much of a potty mouth I really had. I worry if my bad habits which I try to keep hidden will surface and scare them away. I worry, I worry, I worry.

I've been grappling with this issue for a while now. The whole dichotomy of how I see myself and other people's opinion of me. I think for me that there's a definite disparity between the two and I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed or surprised by the outcome of my self-evaluation.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Whose got the power?

In a bid to test my will-power, I haven't eaten beef in about a month now. I think. I don't really know the exact dates but I'm estimating a month, although it really feels like three. I'm thinking about breaking because I'm really craving beef soba. But then I feel like I'm giving up, and I start telling myself that "I can stick it out", but then while my brain thinks that, all my senses are like, "MUST HAVE BEEF SOBA. NOM NOM NOMM".

It's all rather confusing right now, I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder how I ever gave up pork for four years.

For the record, I wouldn't ever bother giving up chicken.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

This post is dedicated to Ad Spags

I have decided that I will sporadically put up pic spams dedicated to friends of mine. And if you're wondering why I do such things you may choose one answer from below:

a) I like my friends
b) I like doing nice things
c) I like hot guys
d) I have a lotta pictures saved up in my folder and sharing is caring

To which I will tell you that this is a trick question. And the trick answer is really e) Perving is fun, and to perve is to make our wellbeing better. Also, I'm too lazy to think up fresh content so pic spams are much easier to make a post out of.

This post is dedicated to my dear friend of almost 10 years, Ad Spags. Consider this a "Welcome Back to Blogging" present from me.

(Part 1 aka Charm's post can be found here).

And thus we begin the second Sporadic PicSpam...

I didn't get the appeal of Emile Hirsch until I watched Into the Wild last weekend. For me, talent plays a big part in how I choose actors I like and perve on, and boy, the raw talent and charm of Emile is very hard to deny and totally bowled me over. Truthfully, he's not the prettiest actor around. In fact, when he's scruffed up and unshaven, his hotness factor drops 28 points. But that's okay...

...because even when scruffy, he still works the goofy heartthrob factor. Yes?

Sorry Ad. I included this picture for entirely self-serving needs. I think Gael is hot. And I wish you could see that too. If you don't, I guess I'll have to work harder and be extra hard on the pic spams. It's not an easy task but I'm more than ready to take it on and make you see the light.

How bout some French hottie lovin' for you if you're not so inclined to our dear Mexican friend? Unfortunately I do not have pictures of Louis Garrel, but Gaspard is infinitely prettier, me thinks.


If you compare me to John Mayer one more time, I'mma cut a bitch

Fact: John Mayer is to douche, as Jason Mraz is to ______?

The correct and only acceptable answer is WIN. Thank you for playing.

And in light of the massive failure that was Indy 4 that we both sat through, here's some old school Harrison Ford for your time. Him during his Han Solo years in early years Star Wars was simply perve-tastic.

I can't remember if we watched Jumper together, considering our long history of movie-watching together, but it's a true fact that Jamie Bell and his accent were the only saving grace of that craptastic film.

Oh oh! This is Michael Angarano. He is a very talented actor and is adorable too. You would have seen him in Almost Famous, Dear Wendy or err.. Sky High (which btw, is where that screen cap comes from and which is why he looks so young when I swear, he's really our age!) Let it be known that he's definitely one to watch.

And because girlfriend, there is no other satisfactory way to end this post, henceforth the James McAvoy loving will spill.

We're watching Wanted on whichever Thursday it opens, right?

Oh come on! We simply must!

Don't make me call up the guys to go, because they will not understand McAvoy's dazzle. I went to watch 21 with them and they were like, "Who is this Jim Sturgess?" and then glared at me when the talk of dazzle came up. Apparently my Facebook wall post spam of "Do I dazzle you?" was not received well.

Sometimes I think guys should just walk around in tuxedos all the time. Except I think most of them will not look half as good as McAvoy here, so it'll be just a waste of time, do you know what I mean?

Remember how I was telling you to watch Becoming Jane? Well, forget about it. Because all you need to know about the film is in this screencap.

Basically, James McAvoy is super smirking smexy and Anne Hathaway cannot help me carried away in the undertow of James McAvoy super smirking smexiness.

Actually there is a scene where he is shirtless and reenacting Fight Club 19th Century style at the start of the movie, but for some reason I can't seem to find the screen cap for that. Holy smokes, don't tell me I deleted it.

And as great as B&W pictures of McAvoy are, colour is good too because we get to see his pretty eyes.

Okay, lies. You cannot see his eyes here. But damn is he wearing the leather jacket well or what?

Okay, pretty eyes; take 2! I don't think it's working.

Oh sorry (although I'm really not sorry. At all). Wrong blue eyed actor. But come on! I can't be the only person who likes Elijah Wood.

And to end this post, some abnormally goofy McAvoy. You can sorta see the blue from here. Sort of.

Dear Ad, you are one of the quirkiest person I know, and trust me, I know a fair few. And I love every single one of your crazy quirks and ticks. You give great hugs and are not afraid to dole it out when I'm being mopey Harry Potter in book #5. I'm so so so glad that we're friends after I looked past the crazy when we first met in the school canteen in form 1. :D I love that you've resurrected your blog again. Now all you need is to accept my proposal to be co-author to Pop Culture Geekery and all will be right in the world.

Finally, thank you for giving me (and Nick) the free pass to School of Rock way back when. I rewatched the DVD yesterday. And was reminded of the utter fabulousness of this kid.

You're tacky and I hate you.