Thursday, July 10, 2008

This post is dedicated to the Prepster

In honour of your 21st, this pic spam is dedicated to you. I'm sorry your birthday was so shitty, mostly cause I wasn't there to add the dazzle component in your day. And technically, this pic spam is two days late. But my Internet was being a shitty little cockblocking bitch, so let's just pretend it's the 6th of July all over again okay?

This strangely disturbing picture of Voldy, Bellatrix, Dumblydore and Pottah welcomes you to the mother of all picspams.

Smile like you mean it!

[add on]: Obviously this post is coming out much later than "two days late". But well, let's say delays were necessary due to a grueling schedule and important GChats, okay? Right on.

Warning: This picspam is severely limited because a) my heterosexuality means I have more pictures of guys in my folder and b) you have pretty shitty taste in female celebrities. Oh gosh, maybe I should lay off the mocking since this post is meant to be a gift (of some sort). Anyhow, I have searched through all my picture folders and I think you'll be sufficiently happy with the pictures I have compiled. Or maybe not. The purpose of picspams is to perve, and I'm an equal opportunity perve. I have endeavoured to add some pictures of Miss-Acts-With-Her-Eyebrows but I don't think you'll like the context they're in.

Onwards with the picspam!

We begin with some old school Harrison Ford. I know you love the Indiana Jones trilogy (we do not speak of the fourth) and as I've mentioned before, I'm rather fond of Han Solo so it's like a win-win situation.

You were the only person I knew who didn't think Casino Royale would bomb with Daniel Craig at the helm, and obviously we're having the last laughs now. Well, technically the movie studios are. But po-tay-to, po-tah-to. To thank you for your support, here is a picture of the lovely Eva Green.

Okay, so you didn't actually care one bit about the casting in the movie. But you let me rant about it and pretended to be interested, as you do whenever I get on a pop-culture related tangent, so I'm grateful for that.

Gratuitous pictures of Scarlett Johansson, because everybody should appreciate how hot she is;

At least we're in agreement with when it comes to the status of her gorgeousness.

But proving that brunettes are inherently hotter, here is Eliza Dushku.

She remains my favourite Slayer till this day.

Oh, you don't believe my theory about brunettes doing it better? Well, observe:

Kristen Kreuk: The best thing to come from Smallville apart from Michael Rosenbaum

Zooey Deschanel: breaking hearts with her baby blues since she was two (okay, I just wanted to rhyme)

Audrey Tautou: showing the world how to be truly fierce. Tyra, take note

Natalie Portman: My orignal girl crush.

Keira Knightley: My second girl crush.

Gael Garcia Bernal: Y HELLO THAR. What a pleasant surprise. What choo doing here?

Alexis Bledel: All the roses in the world can't buy her acting chops, but gosh, aren't those eyes something else?

Liv Tyler: I can't think of anything to say cause all I can focus on are LEGS.

Jim Sturgess: Making Nick squeal since he first saw a face in Across The Universe

If you're still not convinced that theory has any grounds, I present to you three pictures I would casually call my 'trump cards';

It's common law by now that you can't put Gael up without including Diego Luna

Oh, wait for it;


Do you believe now?!?

Alright, so it's been established then. Going by hair colour, brunettes tend to be hotter than blondes. It's just a fact. Learn it, love it, spread it.

More pictures of ScarJo for your time;

And here's one random Elisha I found in my files.

I still don't get her appeal

Now, as I'm sure you know, Nick, a Nick picspam would not be complete without one certain actress from a very popular Young Adult movie/book franchise.

This is not it.

Deadric Diggory is unimpressed with your tomfoolery

For the random reader at home, here's a chance for you to play along. Guess which pretty princess from the Harry Potter franchise, Nick is completely enamoured with?

Right off the bat, I can tell you that Ronald Weasley is not in the running.

Sucks to be me

Actually Nick isn't a big fan of the Wealeys at all, so Ginny is out:

as are Ginger Twins,

and my favourite stoner hobo, RPattz.

Remember. Early on, I gave you a very big clue about Nick's preference in actresses (read: pretty shitty). That should be a dead giveaway right there. So unfortunately, Katie Leung/Cho Chang is not the one.

although I don't understand why, cause home girl cleans up great.

And by that extension, neither is Clemence Poesy/Fleur Delacouer.

There's something about French women

Yes, unbelievably and rather anti-climatically, it is none other than Eyebrows herself, Emma Watson/Hermione.

Classy broad

I guess she's attractive enough, but honestly. With so many other pretty actors in the mix, she really doesn't stand out all that much. But I suppose it's one of your little quirks, Nick - picking the most random people to fanboy about.

Here's a bunch of pictures of her looking relatively cute.

Guess whose hand is she holding?

Why it's none other than Pottah himself!

Stab, stab, stab. I like inflicting pain and chagrin where possible


I think her cuteness quotient gets higher around Mr Pottah himself. Well, obviously he rubs off on her. Perhaps in more ways than one. Oh, that's right. I so went there.

Some visual with your chagrin, sir?

Tee hee!

I mock because I love. I'm sure you know how this works by now. That being said, I am sincerely sorry your 21st was terrible. At least you've managed to find little things that have made the day better (card/phone calls/this - because we're still making like this was posted on your actual birthday, you see). I know that next year's birthday is going to be fantastic and you know how I know that? Cause my friends and I are going to cut whatever bitch that stands in the way of your day.

Me and mah friends just hanging at a nearby street

I don't even know where to start in thanking you for everything. To compress our relationship and inside jokes into two trite lines seems like a terrible crime. I suppose I could try, but I've never been as eloquent as you and fuck me, putting this together has been a HTML nightmare, so I'm pretty much brain dead at this point.. Instead, I'll end this post with something the both of us can appreciate; macros. This is a personal favourite,

I'm sure you can understand why. Happy 21st, Prepster! Belated. Or whatever.