Saturday, June 24, 2006

"Beastie Boys known to let the beat... mmMM 'DROP'."

Why I think the Karma Police are out to get me (aka whinging episode #34 from Karen):

#1. Last Sunday morning I went out to watch the Brazil/Aus game at Fed Square with Spags and a couple of other friends. Thanks to the ungodly schedule and time conversion, the kick-off was at 2.30 am in Melbourne. The sleep thing, or lack thereof, wasn't an issue as I had managed to snuck in a couple of hours sleep during the evening. And I had no plans the day after. The problem was that that morning happened to be the morning where Melbourne charted it's coldest temperature yet. It was 3 Celsius. Although it was certainly entertaining to watch the ten thousands of Aussies finally wake up to the sweet stench of history, I'm not sure if it was quite worth losing the feeling in my toes over. I think about the pros of seeing Kaka on screen and it almost justifies that whole experience. Just almost.

#2. I've been downloading Transamerica on LimeWire and yesterday it finally officially completed. Today I play the movie only to realize that while it's of a pretty decent quality (above the standards of hand-held camcorders in cinemas, but below the picture perfect crisp quality found in cinema screens) there was one very obvious flaw. It's like how I sometimes wish life was with my sister: lips a-movin' but no sounds a-talkin'. I checked the properties for the file, and check this; while there was a codec to compress the video part of the file there was nothing whatsoever for the audio bit. I want to cry. I really do. That's a 700 Mb file on a 56Kbps dial-up modem, equivalent to one year of my life. But wait, that's not quite the clincher yet.

#3. While scanning the tour listing section in the paper yesterday, I was pleased and just a tad excited to find out that Clap Your Hands Say Yeah was doing their rounds at the Hi-Fi Bar. Then I read on and, oh what do you know.. my spirit is crushed. Their playing on the 20th of July. Bloody bugger piss b#a@s!t%a$r#d*s%. That's the third band this year that I've missed out on. The Shins in January, Death Cab on 14th July and this. -sob- Damn you karma!

#4. Also, I forgot to settle my previous fine for travelling without a valid tram ticket and as a result I got an extra penalty. Could there be a lamer way to violate the law?!

#5. I did manage to get my hands on two tickets to the Arctic Monkeys sold-out gig though. And yeah, did should go in the 'YAY' section. However I didn't get it through a 'trusted' website, or as trustful as a site can get in cyberspace. A visit to eBay made my heart skipped a beat, and not in the 'oh-pretty-boy,-will-you-be-mine?' kind of beat-skipping. I posted an ad on a forum asking for tickets and I get a reply from some guy. The deal is I pay half now and the the rest when I get the tickets. Judging by my luck so far, I probably have just wasted 50 bucks. It's maximum dodge man. The guy gave me his friend's banking details cause apparently he "lost his ATM card." What does that have anything to do with online banking?! Oh well, call me an optimistic sucker. And if he really does end up ripping me off, call me an optimistic broke sucker.

#6. Beastie Boys is on rotation in my head right now and it is a n n o y i n g as. Don't get me wrong, I love them and all but it's not the kind of song you can sing along to without sounding like you've got Tourette's. I mean how does one exactly sing/rap along to gems like, "Mike D with the masterjam. Said 'ooh laa laa' and 'thank you m'aam", ya know?

I've actually ran out of steam. Oh hell. I wanted to reach number 7.

I think the bad karma boils down to my incessant over-the-top cussing. Or my misanthropic tendencies that tend to surface when yet another bum/burnout strikes up a conversation with me. I certainly don't do anything to encourage my status as a bum/bo magnet. I get that they probably just naturally gravitate towards like-minded people, but I'm just one girl! Go bother another!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

"Now that's high-quality H2O."

This is a post that is not about the band-of-the-week I'm championing. Neither is it about trivia that bears very little importance in the grand scheme of life, the universe, everything. There will be no mention of movies I'm just about pissing myself to watch. This post also has nothing to do with any gripes I have about work, family or retail sales that sell out the size you wear.

Hence, this post ends with me saying I have nothing to post about.

Yeap. This marks the end of it.

Just ribbing ya. Yes, I enjoy amusing myself very much. It's a pathological thing. Put it down to middle child syndrome.

Anyway, I'm in the midst of moving. So I haven't actually done anything substantial yet, but I have scoped out a couple of prospective apartments online and jotted down contact details. But since I had a 8-3pm shift the next day, I asked my sister to call them instead. And she didn't call anyone. Not a single one. Well, apparently she called the first one and it didn't go through so I don't quite know how that deters her from not calling the others (re: "I am Gillian and I am lousy at bullshitting"). I don't normally like depending on my sister for anything cause well, she's as reliable as an elephant showing up punctual four times in a row for a Sunday matinee. Everyone knows elephants only make it three times at best. Anyway, you know, how people say if you want to find an accomodation you've got to do it yourself so you don't end up freezing and homeless and shower-less and freezing and cold and warm-less and heat-less in winter? Guess that kind of holds true afterall.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

I want it that way.

As always, I started every year with the intention to 'get fit'. It's not so much a New Year Resolution, but more a guideline for the year. Like, I don't have the full intention to go through with it, but it'd be kinda cool if I did, ya know? Well, as of this year, I have ran exactly 0 km and executed 50 sit-ups. And that was done just only out of guilt.

On Friday, I had every intention to go running/jogging/dying-a-slow-and-painful-death at the local park cause I knew I was seriously out of shape. I'm by no means a grade-A athlete, but I fancy myself fit enough to jog to work with maybe two walking breaks if necessary, and err.. thanks to a sedentary lifestyle and Macca's fries, Macca's McFlurries, and Macca's burgers (damn you, Ronald!), I'm, to put it delicately, quite out of it. So, I had it all worked out.

Plan of action:
11-2 pm : work
2-3 pm : home
3-4 pm : change
4-4.15 pm : park
4.15 pm-5.30 pm : jog
5.30-5.45 pm : home
5.46-7.30 pm : die a little
7.30 onwards : Friday Night Live

But then while walking to work, a bird flew into my head. And I was like, "Fuck if I'm going to run and risk getting hit again!". There was quite a bit more cursing involved, but I'll keep it clean for you kids. End story: no exercise done. But on the upside, I made a fairly delectable hor fun dish for dinner. Tip: don't talk to me about the carbs. Just.. don't. -sob-

Anyhoo, I was all, "Yeah! Today is the day to get my pump on!". It was very Jane-Fonda-Aerobic-Workout-esque. But I woke up late for work, under the impression that my shift started at 11 am, when I received a call informing me, "No, you start at eight today, Sunshine." As if that wasn't bad enough, today was totally flat out and I was completely beat halfway into the shift. EVERYONE wanted a hot drink.

Most problematic customer I've ever had in McCafe:
MPC comes in asking for 3 "really, really weak extra hot skinny" cappucinos. No worries, I tell her. So the milk was heated up to about 75 Celsius, which is usually how high it goes for the 'extra hot' coffees. She comes back telling us (me + other Cafe fella) that it isn't hot enough. So we tell her we'll make her nice, hot fresh ones. We heat the bloody milk up to 90C, got her fresh ones, and ask her to take a sip to see if it's hot enough.

"It still isn't hot enough. Is this a new machine or something?"
"Maam, we heated the milk up to 90C(!) Are you sure you're getting the milk? Maybe it's just froth."
MPC sips.
"No, it's not the froth. Can you heat it any higher?"
"Maam, if we heat it any higher than 90C, the milk will burn."
"Well, it still isn't hot enough."
"Maam, maybe you need to go to the docter's, get your tastebuds checked out cause it's ninety freaking Celsius, mate. Now bloody fuck off and quit hassling us cause you ain't our only goddamn customer!"

In reality, we tell her that there isn't more that we can do. And she walks away in a huff with the promise to never come back again. God, I hope we can hold her to that promise.

That experience put us in one hell of a mood, cause as much as we normally adhere to the 'customer is always right (and they're also usually a right bloody pillock)' maxim, we knew there was no way we were wrong. The machine wasn't broken cause we had been using it the whole day without any complaints, and a fair bit of compliments if I may add. We had the thermometer tell us it was 90C. So where did it all go wrong? I've been tossing that in my head for a bit, but I can't figure it out. Maybe we saw it wrong it was actually 60C? Maybe she really does need a doc? Gah. Sod it all.

Back to the point. I finished absolutely knackered at four, still with some enthusiasm to hit the park. I figured I could just borrow my friend's bike and ride around for a bit. But then I stepped out of Macca's and my somewhat steely resolve was ditched. "Fuck if I'm going to go riding when there's fog bloody everywhere!"

In all my years here, I have never seen fog in the afternoon. Let alone fog at the beginning of winter. Suffice to say I know now why people were coming in droves for a hot drink. And also that this winter is going to be bloody awful. End story: expect to read a lot of whinging about the weather on my posts.

At least I gave you fair warning, eh?


Also, I found out yesterday that Death Cab for Cutie is doing a show at the Forum on July 14. -sob- Sometimes I just can't catch a break, eh? Oh hell. Coldplay, I love you more.

I've just finished my shower and I'm feeling quite restless now, so I actually logged on to MSN only to have a pop-up tell me that in order to continue I need to download the latest version. Granted, my version was pretty obsolete. Think the dark ages before you were able to poke and make even more insipid smileys. So because I'm using dial-up and downloading Transamerica as well, I have a feeling I might be a sitting here for a while. Hence, I decided to blog about it!

Hmmm... let's see. What else to say, what else to say, what else to say. Hmm.. I could go on about family. Everyone's fine - sort of. Me grandparents are in KL. Talked to them for a bit earlier in abysmal Cantonese. Absolutely disgraceful. Mom and Dad are alright - mostly. Jon is 6'1'' now apparently and just tipping the scales at 100 kg. He's starting his work experience next week at that rock-climbing place at OU. Gill... nyeh. Now, let's not open that can of worms. Nahhh. She's alright, as well. Popular with the dudes. Well, one of the daughters had to get the pretty gene.

10 Consecutive Songs Played on iTunes while on 'Shuffle' Mode
1: All-American Rejects - The Last Song
2: Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You
3: Beck - Loser
4. The Ataris - Heaven is Falling
5. Crazy Town - Revolving Doors
6. The Beatles - Across the Universe
7. No Doubt - Simple Kind of Life
8. My Morning Jacket - Come Closer
9. Jimmy Eats World - The Middle
10. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Fortune Faded

Hmm. Let's talk about the bird hitting my face for a bit. What happened in minute detail was I was standing at the traffic lights waiting for the green man to come on and I glanced at the bird that was pecking at that pavement. I looked straight ahead, not wanting to enrage the stupid magpie and I heard it take flight. I flinched a little
and shut my eye momentarily, normal when I hear any flapping wings. And what do you know, I feel something slam into my head! It's feet lightly scraped my cheek and I opened my eyes to see the damn bird on the floor, but closer this time. "What the fuck?!" Checked my hair for birdshit: clear. Check cheek to see if damaged: clear. All about ran across the road regardless of red man. Man, I''m just going to say that this does not help with any Karen-bird friendly relations.

Of course, everyone's all, "Poor bird. Maybe the bird was blind." Gah. That is, after much laughing. And then as an afterthought, "Are you alright?" Friends, you're lucky I love y'all so. Gee whiz.

Anyway, MSN finished downloading. Wow.. Version 7.5 now. Huh.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

"You offend reason, sir."

I was honestly actually considering an update, a right and proper one. A sort of day-in-my-oh-so-whimsical-and-wit-filled-conversations-sorta-life post where I attempt to prove that there is more to me than pop culture, movies, celebrity goss, and useless trivia of the pop-culture-related kind. I mean, seriously. How many of you actually bothered to click on the Ralph Wiggums and Weezer links?

But then I found out that Brick has a release date of 10 August 2006 in Australia. And I decided to hang 'right and proper' posts, and right and properly squeal with glee.

Mate, say what you will about my penchant for going apeshit over movies that I have yet to even see the trailer for, but the last couple of movies I went absolutely bananas over and hyped up like so have been generally gold. Hmmm. Shaun of the Dead. Oh, <3.


Anyhoo.. it's got Joseph Gordon-Levitt. And the plot is about this guy, who found that girl dead, and he goes looking for that thing, which of course leads him to other things.. Also, it's got Lukas Haas. He of the "Hey, they made the international sign of the donut" in Mars Attack! I actually do sorta know the plot but it's a bit convulated and I don't explain things well. Seriously, I can't even tell jokes because usually 1) I can't remember how it ends and 2) I usually ruin the punchline owing to the fact that I can't remember how it ends. The two jokes that I do tell are usually received with what can only be politely referred to as 'less-than-enthusiasm'.

If you haven't already heard the only two jokes I can remember, here it is in all it's wordy glory.

Joke #1
Q: What smells funny?


A: A clown fart.

Hee. It gets me all the time.

Joke #2
Joke #2 revolves around ten big pink ping-pong balls. It's likely that if you've heard it before you'll probably remember it. For life. As proven by my indescribably weak memory actually remembering this one. Anyhoo, it's bad. But I love telling it. If only because it's awesome in all it's simplicity.

I should also add that these jokes are not mine. The first one I picked up while in Costa Rica and the second I owe to someone in Scouts.

Oh! I just remembered a blonde joke too!

Q: A blonde and a brunette jump from the balcony of a high-rise building. Who reaches the bottom first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

Tee hee.

And hell, I've got one of those kind of jokes too.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

Hee hee hee. "Oh, the cleverness of me!" I suppose I do know more than two bad jokes. I guess I actually know four bad ones.

Right. Onwards to a 'right and proper' post then. Thanks to the Earth's cycle, Australia is currently at the start of a particularly horrid winter. I only say it's particularly horrid because it's happening, like, right now, and I can't actually remember how last year's winter was. So, the usual whinging commences then.

I AM COLD. Taking into account the whole matter of me disliking the cold, and rain if I may add, I'm in a ripe ol' mood most days. Luckily because my anti-social tendencies are proportionately inverse to the quantity of heat in the air, I have become a DVD-watching hermit, bundled under my doona, with the heater and the stove turned on. So, yeah. No witty conversations to blog about this time round folks.

Friday, June 02, 2006

"You should have stayed in school" .... "You never should have left."

And that my friends, is the corniest line of May 2006, courtesy of the fantastic screenwriters who brought you X3: The Last Stand (HAHA! If you bought this for an entire second, you are a sucker and a fidiot, Hollywood's favourite consumer!). I watched it twice and the second viewing only made me more aware of the stilted dialogue, the even more stilted acting (save for Kelsey Grammar, Ian McKellan and Hugh Jackman), and how if we lived in the middle ages Brett Ratner will be set upon by the viewing public and pretty much be stoned to a bloody, gory, but ultimately deserving death. Yup, pretty much. On the bright side, that's me - an optimist till the end, I caught the extra bit after the credits rolled in my second viewing. Plus, it was kinda kewl to see Iceman's final manifestation.

"I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

I love me some Vinnie Jones, but seriously how under-utilized was he? While his delivery of that line was pretty spot on, I can imagine a lesser actor 'menacing hard-ass baddie' revealing that line for what it's all worth: corn soup with corn-on-the-cob bits and a side of corn bread. I know, I know.. too much. My bad.

And did Brett Ratner take on this project with the aim to piss off as many people as he possibly can? Maybe he had a death wish. I mean, pissing off comic-book, sci-fi, fantasy, Terry Pratchet lovin' geeks! He shall be subjected to many a Vulcan death ray, I think. Or maybe there is some truth behind the "Brett Ratner is the worst director in the world" theory going around the Internet. It's like the Terminator trilogy all over again: "What? There was a third movie? Oh no, they didn't!"

Lately I've found myself wishing on more than one occasion that I'm in the midst of angsty throes of romantic failure. Mainly because then I'd have a flimsy but legitimate reason to listen to 'Punk' princess, Avril Lavigne. I can't help it. She speaks to the rhythm of my soul. Ermmm, right. Mainly because the songs that have been on constant repeat on my iTunes are of the 'oh-my-achey-breakey-heart' type.

Karen's Mix Tape of Endless Desolution; All Round Fitting for One Break-up
1. Bob Dylan - Most of the Time
2. Cary Brothers - Something
3. Citizen Cope - Sideways
4. Joseph Arthur - In the Sun
5. Joshua Radin - Closer
6. Matt Pond PA - New Hampshire
7. Pete Yorn - Just Another
8. Powderfinger - Love Your Way
9. Rachel Yamagata - Be be your love
10. Red House Painters - Have You Forgotten
11. Rhett Miller - Come Around
12. Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes
13. Aimee Mann - Save Me

But then I swing between extremes and at the end of the other spectrum lies-

Karen's Mix Tape of Happy Sha-la-la Moments, Karaoke Y'all Now!
1. Arctic Monkeys - Love Machine
2. Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around the Block
3. Beach Boys - Barbara Ann
4. The Go! Team - Huddle Formation
5. The Go! Team - Ladyflash
6. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Over and Over Again (Lost and Found)
7. The Boy Least Likely To - Be Gentle With Me
8. Mike Doughty - I Hear The Bells
9. Cary Brothers -Waiting For Your Letter
10. Shout Out Louds - Please Please Please
11. The Futureheads//Kate Bush - Hounds of Love
12. The Futureheads - Meantime
13. Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights

On Tuesday, I unleased my shopaholic within and came back with $600+ worth of purchases. I feel this is very apt moment to insert a :(. On the plus side, I came back with my Pentax Optio 750Z camera which I love love love. Cue a :). It's everything and more that I thought it would be. Bring in a <3. Plus I got it on discount! I got it for AUD$ 450, 10% the original retail price and today I check out the Malaysian retail price and it's selling for RM 2,399; which means that I saved over a thousand ringgit getting it here. Hence, the <<<<33333 :D! I kind of went a little trigger happy and as a result poor Spags had to endure being the subject of some of my shots plus one really short horror movie that ended even before it even began. It would have been awesome, Ad.

Huh. I tend to create nicknames for friends, don't I? Adeline = Ad --> Addie --> Addie Spaghetti --> Spags. Dude, I've got you down for 'Ad Spags' on my phone. I also have got a 'Twitchy WA (Walking Accident)' down for a guy who's simply christened David by his parents. At one point, Charmie-Charm-Charm aka BakerWoman aka Chairman and I knew a 'Batman and Robin'. And Snakes? That's really mi amiga, Sammy Snakes, who once was Sammy, and who normally goes by Sam.

That is kinda strange.