Wednesday, June 07, 2006

"You offend reason, sir."

I was honestly actually considering an update, a right and proper one. A sort of day-in-my-oh-so-whimsical-and-wit-filled-conversations-sorta-life post where I attempt to prove that there is more to me than pop culture, movies, celebrity goss, and useless trivia of the pop-culture-related kind. I mean, seriously. How many of you actually bothered to click on the Ralph Wiggums and Weezer links?

But then I found out that Brick has a release date of 10 August 2006 in Australia. And I decided to hang 'right and proper' posts, and right and properly squeal with glee.

Mate, say what you will about my penchant for going apeshit over movies that I have yet to even see the trailer for, but the last couple of movies I went absolutely bananas over and hyped up like so have been generally gold. Hmmm. Shaun of the Dead. Oh, <3.


Anyhoo.. it's got Joseph Gordon-Levitt. And the plot is about this guy, who found that girl dead, and he goes looking for that thing, which of course leads him to other things.. Also, it's got Lukas Haas. He of the "Hey, they made the international sign of the donut" in Mars Attack! I actually do sorta know the plot but it's a bit convulated and I don't explain things well. Seriously, I can't even tell jokes because usually 1) I can't remember how it ends and 2) I usually ruin the punchline owing to the fact that I can't remember how it ends. The two jokes that I do tell are usually received with what can only be politely referred to as 'less-than-enthusiasm'.

If you haven't already heard the only two jokes I can remember, here it is in all it's wordy glory.

Joke #1
Q: What smells funny?


A: A clown fart.

Hee. It gets me all the time.

Joke #2
Joke #2 revolves around ten big pink ping-pong balls. It's likely that if you've heard it before you'll probably remember it. For life. As proven by my indescribably weak memory actually remembering this one. Anyhoo, it's bad. But I love telling it. If only because it's awesome in all it's simplicity.

I should also add that these jokes are not mine. The first one I picked up while in Costa Rica and the second I owe to someone in Scouts.

Oh! I just remembered a blonde joke too!

Q: A blonde and a brunette jump from the balcony of a high-rise building. Who reaches the bottom first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

Tee hee.

And hell, I've got one of those kind of jokes too.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

Hee hee hee. "Oh, the cleverness of me!" I suppose I do know more than two bad jokes. I guess I actually know four bad ones.

Right. Onwards to a 'right and proper' post then. Thanks to the Earth's cycle, Australia is currently at the start of a particularly horrid winter. I only say it's particularly horrid because it's happening, like, right now, and I can't actually remember how last year's winter was. So, the usual whinging commences then.

I AM COLD. Taking into account the whole matter of me disliking the cold, and rain if I may add, I'm in a ripe ol' mood most days. Luckily because my anti-social tendencies are proportionately inverse to the quantity of heat in the air, I have become a DVD-watching hermit, bundled under my doona, with the heater and the stove turned on. So, yeah. No witty conversations to blog about this time round folks.