Thursday, December 06, 2007

You, Me and Everyone We Know

This is one of my favourite-st quotes from a TV programme ever.

The people you work with, are people you were just thrown together with. You don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family, but probably all you've got in common, is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day.

I ruminate a lot on the accuracy and poignancy of this quote whenever my mind wanders. After that, I smile when I think how Tim and Dawn end up together as you knew they should be from the start.


I wish there was a way to bundle everyone I love into a little tugboat so that I may never be without their company ever again. Everyone is scattered all over the place - technology is the glue that holds us all together. Technology isn't even concrete; it could be taken away from us with the destruction of a limb from the Machine. I am constantly guilty of taking advantage of it's infinite pervasiveness. "Oh yeah, I'll call home tomorrow." Tomorrow becomes the next day and the day after, and before I know it, two weeks later I hear the voice of a disappointed father on the end of the line.

Apparently, in my world, communication and the act of communicating is highly dependent on physical proximity.

Friday, November 30, 2007


Thanks to the public of Australia voting in Kevin Rudd as the new PM, I can do this:


and this;


Also, this:


Word to the wise: I take my bets very seriously.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


I realized not two minutes ago that nothing offends me more than bad comedy. It gets under my skin and infuriates me to the point where I feel rage thinking and talking about it. Bad comedy is quite different from stupid comedy. Stupid comedy, say the Farelly brothers, can be funny (There's Something About Mary more so than Stuck on You). Bad comedy on the other hand is insulting. It's offensive because it treats the audience as if we have the collective intelligence of desiccated coconut. To me, bad comedy is essentially lazy comedy. Lazy gags, lazy writing and with very little execution. Bad, bad, bad, terrible. Is it no surprise then that a lot of bad comedy is made up of un-clever stereotypes? Oh, you mean you like pizza, have a thick moustache, and is always horny? You must be Italian! Let's make you female just to really drive the point home!


Trivia: The only two movies I've ever turned off in my life are National Lampoon's: Van Wilder and Employee of the Month.

FACT: A comedy is going to be terrible if it has Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds. True story.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Psychologize me

I found this test to be most accurate in describing my personality. It is based on Carl Jung and Isabel Myer-Briggs typological approach to personality. Two points to the test for being based off renowned contributors to the study of psychology. But minus one for being found on the Internet which is just inherently dodgy.

Take it here.

I am an Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving, ISTP, kinda person. Here is my favourite line off the profile which I thought described me down to a T.

"...communication also tends to be a key issue, since they generally express themselves non-verbally. When they do actually verbalize, ISTPs are masters of the one-liner, often showing flashes of humor in the most tense situations; this can result in their being seen as thick-skinned or tasteless."

If I had a dollar for everytime I've been reprimanded for doing so, I wouldn't be able to wear my pants! You know... because I would have plenty of dollars... that are heavy... hence the pants dropping.


Alright, so maybe "master of one-liners" was a bit of a stretch.

Saturday, November 03, 2007


From Gerard Way, lead singer, of My Chemical Romance.

How would you describe the kids that love your band?
Extremely creative, intelligent, expressive and very individual, aside from liking to wear black.

via ONTD.

The Wongs meet Web 2.0!

Hi dear,

This is my new email address.Learning from scratch.Never too old to learn, right. Do keep in touch with me.

Your old man.Luv.

Oh man. On that same day, I found out my sister has a working email address.

-dies in shock, mid-laughter-

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

One of these things is not like the other.

As I walked around doing my much delayed grocery shopping today, I noticed that the gaze of a multitude of people often landed at my midriff. It was weird. I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Not a midriff baring one, mind you. I never went down that path, not even in '01 when the Britneys and Christinas of the world were championing it. So what was up? I hadn't eaten anything so it was impossible that something had spilled there. Did I wear my shirt inside out? A quick touch at the back of my neck indicated other wise. Maybe it's just my paranoia working in overdrive, I thought.

Then the shop boy at the butcher stall grinned and said, "Nice shirt."

I looked down.

Oh, yeah.

***This is a reminder of how my general awesomeness translates to really awesome attire. You may glance in awe and cower at the feet of my awesome shoes. That is all.***

I'm not really a fashion forward kind of girl. Not counting groceries and food, I haven't paid full retail price in a really, really long time. Almost everything I own came discounted, thrifted or from eBay. Unsurprisingly, my style is not what you would consider trendy. So it's really hard for me to understand some of the things people wear in the name
of fashion.

Today, while on the streets I walked past a lady who was wearing, what I call, MC Hammer pants.
Yeap. Right down to the unnecessary voluminous hips to the tapered ankles. I saw it once in a store but I didn't think anyone would actually buy into it. I get that there's been some weird '80s revival going on in the fashion world but that's not even the glamorous part of 80s fashion! Rayban aviators, no problemo. The flouro colours, if I have to. But MC-Hammer-pants?! Jesus. Why don't you just throw in shoulder pads while you're scarring my vision and life?

Another thing that I don't get:

To the two guys I saw walking down Swanston Street yesterday: Actually, all guys of Melbourne. Victoria. Australia. The World. If John Rhys-Meyers doesn't look good in it, chances are, you're not going to either.

The model at American Apparel looks seminally better but that's because of the second layer and the fact that he looks like the bastard child of Seth Green and Breckin Meyer, who I both love unabashedly. Stick to skinny ties, fitted jeans and folded three quarter button down shirts, alright? Alternatively wear vintage tees or check-ed Western shirts. You'll thank me later when the trend passes and there isn't photographic evidence of you indulging in such fashion atrocities.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Truth and truth

Lies I have told as a barista

- Yeap. That's decaf.

- Oh yeap. That's definitely skinny milk.

- Oh no. I don't judge (how much sugar you put in your coffee). I just serve. I totally do.

- You're my favourite regular.

- Sorry, we've ran out of _____. Mostly, I'm too lazy.

- Sorry. The cafe is closed.

- Sure, we'll get married tomorrow.

Lies I have told as a barrister
:: slow clap ::

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

We are one push away from the nest

A year ago, I was marvelling over the progress we've made in developing video-sharing capabilities on the Internet. YouTube had become a verb in our everyday lexicon and Google had just purchased YouTube for a mind-boggling amount of money.

October '07: The observations of a passive YouTube user. YouTube remains what it is. We get the funny animals, music videos and people playing the theme to Mario using a variety of musical instruments. Sure, NBC and other official TV networks may have an official 'director' pages now, but that is hardly ground breaking. Skilled users could have just as easily ripped the very same content from their official website. For the most part, things remained the same. The same grainy low-quality videos existed and proliferated throughout the system.

And then Adobe, of the magical Flash player that YouTube and most video sharing websites utiliz, launched their Moviestar version of flash player. High definition TV quality for the Web? The future never seemed more promising. Yet there was talk of a revolution, but little action. Until now.

Vimeo has taken up the challenge and launched HD quality videos on their site. And the result is nothing short of amazing. For far too long we've come to accept crappy quality videos as the only option. Vimeo is leading the charge in the HD Video Revolution, and it is a hell of a promising start. Here's a wake up call to other video-sharing sites. It's time to bring your A game, fellas. Cause now that we've had a taste of it, it's fair to say that we're not going to expect complacency for much longer.

Article: Vimeo Showcases the Future of HD Web Video on Computer.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Hello Darkness, my old friend

Would that one could be alive and living, not just merely existing.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Actual work shift = 5.45 am - 10 am.

Finish time = 8.30 am.

Me = :D

Call from work at 12.24 pm = "Uh oh".

Second shift for the day = 4 - 8 pm.

Hence, me = :C

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Holiday, celebrate!

My holiday starts next week. Or technically after 6 pm tomorrow. It goes for two weeks and if it isn't glaringly obvious enough, I'm super excited. I have recently purchased a whole bunch of books that I'm looking forward to get into.

- Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead
- Ayn Rand's Atlas, Shrugged
- Ralph Hoover's Jabberwocky
- Stephen King's The Dark Tower Book #1 (on Nick's recommendation)
- Robert Harris' Fatherland (which is based on a re-imagined world where Hitler had triumphed)
- Maria Hsia Chang's The End of Days: Falun Gong (cause nobody, not even Wikipedia, can explain that movement/cult properly to me)
- Robert M. Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (which I've only been looking for since I was 16! Thank you, eBay!)
-Francis M. Tyrell's Man: Believer and Unbeliever

And that is just one reason why I can never leave Australia. The cost of posting all my books to Malaysia will equate to buying a small house in India.


So as not to prove that I'm not a total loser who spends her holiday hiding from the sun, being couped up under the covers, reading for two weeks (spank you very much, tcc):

1. I will be going to exhibit my mad fangirl-ness for Michael Cera and the other stars of Superbad when they attend the premiere of said movie on Monday.

2. I fully intend to watch a lot of movies; the Disney French Rat one, Once, The Lookout, Superbad, Stardust (yes, it warrants a second viewing), Hairspray, December Boys, The Dark is Rising, Underdog etc. J/K about the last one. Just wanted to see if you actually finished reading that sentence.

3. Go shopping in real life. I'll be the first to admit that I'm totally eBay's bitch, but nothing beats bargain shopping in real life.

4. Sort out stuff to sell on eBay.

5. Swap DVDs with friends from all over AKA spread the holy gospel of Arrested Development (as of today: 2 converted).

6. Have SMDU-reunion. I still need to discuss this with my co-planner but by hook or by crook, it will be done!

7. Going to the mountains in the second week of the break!

8. Possibly, maybe have a housewarming since official roommate is finally back.

9. Paint a whole bunch of stuff red because my room lacks colour.

10. Steal more milk crates cause my books are exploding off the ones I have now.

Oh man.

I just reread all that.

So much for proving my non-lameness. You win, Chen Chou.

Saturday, September 08, 2007


Cameras and concerts

-Concerts these days are a funny affair. In what is supposed to be a dramatic moment minutes before the band comes on stage in the seconds where the auditorium is pitch black, the illusion is ruined by the caustic glare off camera screens, cameras off phones (LOL. Don't get me started) and flash from said cameras.

It's to be expected of course. Everyone wants memories of the experience. Technology has made it so that everyone is equipped to catch the quintessential money shot or the next best version they can get. I'm guilty of doing it myself. Yet, in the midst of snapping, reviewing and trying to figure out the best setting in such unpredictable lighting, I can only hope that people don't forget that they're there first and foremost for the music. It's great to have awesome pics for the picture book but if at the end of the night your voice isn't hoarse from screaming/cheering/cat-calling the hot bassist in the band and your arm doesn't hurt from clapping and rocking out, you did it wrong mate.

- Guaranteed recipe for disaster: Having cafe training periods on a Saturday morning from 8 am to 11 am. The trainer and the trainee are the Mentos to the unrelenting customers that make up the Diet Coke component in this metaphor. Messy, messy badness is the conclusion.

- Here's what parents should not do to enforce middle child syndrome on the kid born in the middle: Forget about them and then admitting to their mistake. If necessary, spin some bullshit excuse as to why your kid is penniless and skipping classes to work to pay rent.
Sorry doesn't pay the bills. Sorry doesn't negate the lack of attention. Sorry doesn't help with their self-esteem issues of constantly being overlooked. Also, Mr and Mrs Wong, it would help if you call and actually talk to Karen about Karen (what a concept) and not whine about the eldest or worry about the youngest. Please and thank you, love, said whinging middle child.

- Oh my god. Interwebs, beware. Angsty middle child with a blog on the loose.

- I'm also really over being mistaken for looking older than I actually am. Twenty four? Twenty four?! Come on!!

- And for Jon, because I promised you the LOLZ!11!!

Monday, August 27, 2007


This is the reason why Girlfriend got stuck in my head to begin with:

Wait for the sick 'guitars' from 2:11 to 2:18. And here's the recently released lyrics so you can sing along (cause you know you just want to)!

Hey hey bro bro
I don’t like your girlfriend
No dude no dude
I don’t want her around me
Hey hey bro bro
Can’t you dump your girlfriend?

Hey hey bro bro
You know she doesn’t like me
No dude no dude
I don’t want to see her
Hey hey bro bro
I want to kill your girlfriend

Best friend of mine ‘member the times we used to kick it?
Us hanging out every day it was the sickest.
Don’t you know that if you ditch that bitch we’ll chill all night (all night, all night)
Don’t pretend I think you know we had a friendship
and hell yeah bro, I really fucking miss it
I can tell you miss it too and That aint right.

She’s like a fucking headache
So take a stand, dude for our sake
I think you should dump that fugly cow
That’s what all the guys are talking about!

hey hey bro bro
We don’t like your girlfriend
No dude no dude
She’s ruining our summer
Hey hey bro bro
can’t you dump your girlfriend?

Hey hey bro bro
No one likes your girlfriend
No dude no dude
I’m not even kidding
Hey hey bro bro
I want to punch your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way she looks at me
and then she turns to you and probably makes fun of me
A friend would never let a girl come between us like that (like that like that)
So come over here and say it to me, to my face.
bring your girl, I wanna put that bitch in her place
I can’t believe you would do this to the bond that we had

Cuz she’s like a deadly cancer
It really shows you who your friends are
One last chance, dump your girlfriend now
or the dudes and I are walking out!

hey hey bro bro
We don’t like your girlfriend
No dude no dude
She’s ruining our summer
Hey hey bro bro
can’t you dump your girlfriend?

Hey Hey Bro bro
think she’s cheating on you
Yeah dude yeah dude
I saw her with some guy
Hey hey bro bro
Just trying to help you

You’re a bitch, she’s got you wrapped around her finger
Dude I know, I know you really sweat her
But she’s cheating, you’re looking like a moron
Drop the bitch dude, and come and get your beer on


Hey hey bro bro
Glad you dumped your girlfriend
No dude no dude
You made a good decision
Hey hey bro bro
Now we can be best friends

best buds, best buds

(repeat till end)

From CollegeHumor and lyrics by Streeter Seidell.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The most random things happened on Friday

- In my Friday tute, one guy walked in wearing a vintage denim jacket. We're talking acid wash, straight from the 80s genuine vintage. The whole class agreed it was massively cool. And it was! Yet I had never been more appalled and strangely fascinated by a piece of clothing. Fashion has been going through an 80s revival for a while now. Some piece of clothings (tights), more successful than others (mom jeans). Seriously speaking though, acid wash is something no one should ever have to go through twice in their life. Unless it's at least 20 years old. Walking up to Supre and getting an acid wash jeans jacket somehow just isn't quite the same.

- Also in that same tute, someone came to class dressed in a pinstripe blue suit with Chucks on their feet and a pair of brown-rimmed classes. Much like this!

Turns out he was going to the Melbourne Uni Science Ball themed "Out of This World". I just about died when the dude pulled out a sonic friggin' screwdriver out of his pocket. That is just simply too damn awesome! Or we as a class are just too collectively geeky..

- Also for some reasons (I like to think because as a writing class, we've got to have good tastes), the majority of people in that same tute watch the same shows I watch. So after geeking out on Doctor Who, for some reason we started quoting Arrested Development. "Come on!" "I've made a huge mistake." "I'm the world's first analyst and therapist, 'analrapist'." It goes on.

- For all my talk of desperation, I ended up missing the Shout Out Louds concert on Friday. Instead, I caved to peer pressure and ended up bowling with the Maccas crew and Charm. It was amusing to see how competitive guys can get over the littlest sport. I think all that testosterone in the air made my arms a tad bit hairier.

- Right now I've got two songs stuck in my head:
Ashlee Simpson - Boyfriend
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

I could point out how "that's soooo funny" but my ears are still bleeding from the vocals while the throat is going hoarse from singing along. But it still doesn't stop. Add My Chemical Romance's "Welcome to the Black Parade" into the mix occasionally and this is what I mumble while alone:

"When I was a young boy,
my father took me into the city,
to hey hey, you you!
I don't like your girlfriend!
(no way no way)
she's ruining our summer,
I didn't steal your boyfriend."

Then my mind spontaneously combusts and the horror ends. A girl can wish.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Sleeping on the job

I can now use that phrase both figuratively AND literally.

Having slept 45 minutes over the weekend, I was brain dead and zombie quick (assuming we're not talking about the Dawn of the Day remake) during my shift on Sunday. It didn't help that it was the set up shift at 5.45 am. By 6.30, I was yawning like my life depended on it. By 7, I was walking as fast as the geriatric regulars who pop in for their obligatory Sunday muffins and lattes.

Then it happened.

I actually fell asleep while making a coffee.

No, really. I did.

It was a mocha. I remember putting the chocolate powder into the cup while fighting and struggling hard against the charms of the Sandman. Then the next thing I know, the heated milk jug is burning my hand. I stopped the steam wand. Wiped the spilled milk and took a look around. The chocolate powder container had been covered and put back into place. The coffee was in the cup ready for the milk to transform it from an espresso to a latte. It was routine as usual, yet I remember none of it. Exsqueeze me, but when did that happen?!

The 40 winks shuteye was good though. After that I had enough energy to last till I was done. Anyway if I wasn't feeling a smidgeon refreshed after the too-short-to-be-called-nap, the next order of 10 standard cappuccinos sure did wake me plenty.

So yeah, I astound myself. I always knew I can sleep anywhere but standing up? That's whole new unexplored territory!


In other news, thanks to Charmain of the Crazy Baker Woman fame, I got a free pass to watch an early preview of Stardust. It is so friggin' ace to watch one of my most anticipated movies of the year a whole month before it opens on general release!! And the movie? Well, to put it shortly, I fucking love it. Proper review when I get the time (and please excuse the pimpage) over here. Please hunt it down and watch it at theatres near you!

Friday, August 17, 2007

The future

At 3.43 am on Wednesday, 15 August 2007, I had a startling revelation. I knew exactly what my future held for me.

I will grow old and take up my birthright as the neighbourhood cat lady. I will be that old woman who has somehow collected dozens + many more cats in her life. My life, as I know it, will be overrun with cats.

Except because I might or might not be allergic to cats, I'll have a slightly deviated path from the token cat lady. Call me the modern cat lady. Instead of collecting cats, I'll instead have a large collection of cats of the lol variety. Y'know.. the lolcats.

Since realizing my imminent future, I've embraced it without reservations and in fact have decided now is a good time as ever to start.

Oh, trust me. There are many, many more saved on my hard disk.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Oh, Jon!

karen says:
if you don't get hungry easily now, then why did you eat so much in malaysia?
->> j o n™ <<- says:
hahahaha because that one i guess its because of the climate change

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Shout Out Louds

On the off chance, you're my friend who likes jangly pop music by a Swedish band in the vein of The Shins and will be in Melbourne on August 24th, or some random dude who arrived here through the algorithms of Google after a search for the Melbourne Shout Out Louds gig, well, (and this is where any remaining shred of shame swooshes out my life) want to go or care for a friendly tag along for the Shout Out Louds, Corner Hotel, Aug 24th gig?

I'm pretty sure I'll go even if it means going alone.
Cock it. You only live once, right? But it can't hurt casting out this wide net in the wide spaces of the intrawebs to see if I reap any results.

3304 - the refugee safehouse

My apartment has magical qualities. It attracts houseguests of the unwanted variety.

Take roommate #1 for example. Her boyfriend came and occupied the couch for a week and a half. He cooked the best smelling Asian meals but never offered any. He and his girlfriend were from the hardcore Mandarin speaking districts of China, so all their conversations seemed like arguments to my virgin ears. It only took the girl actually throwing food onto the floor for me to realize that an actual fight was going on. He wasn't rude but he smoked, so he stunk anyway. And best yet, the dude isn't even cute or have a good body to perve at. Call me superficial but if some dude is going to crash at my place, at least have the decency to be perve-worthy, you know? It's total incentive for me to not mind a hot dude staying. Especially if he sleeps without a shirt. Anyway, roommate #1 left for China permanently 2 days ago. He sent her off to the airport and for reasons that are escaping my head, came back here to sleep. He woke up 12 hours later, ate some noodles and did his laundry. Roommate #2 and I wanted to kick him out but we figured he was heartbroken and all that rot. Anyway, the dude finally left for good today. Turns out his cooking smelled so damn good because he used up all my garlic. Cheers, ya twat!

And now a female friend of roommate #2 has been sleeping over. Apparently she's fighting with her boyfriend. I honestly don't care anymore. I need to find the biggest dude I know and sponsor him our couch just because.

Jon, September break, yeah?

Lesson learned from these experiences:
Relationships are nothing but trouble. Even more so if your house happens to be a haven for all in need.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

In other news

- It turns out that prepping for the interview was a lot more nerve-wrecking than the actual interview. Of course, now I have to write it, and transcribing a taped interview is something I've never done before. This is kind of interesting.

- Rupert Murdoch takes over the world! Dow Jones.
In the past I have only half-seriously quipped that Murdoch is secretly pulling the strings behind world events. The joke is on you, idiot.

The pout is the proverbial cherry on the wave of anti-David Beckhamanism, no? Way to get the message across dude-in-the-white-bandanna!

Something tells me that dude-in-the-white-bandanna wouldn't have given Nicole his stamp of approval either.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Zombie nation!

Zombie doll making party #4!

This is why I love my friends. And also why Snakes and the Chairman is never to leave the country ever again.

Tomorrow not for the first time ever I will be interviewing someone for an article. For the first time ever though, the article will get published. I hardly ever get nervous, not even when it's 3.20 pm and I'm 350 words away from finishing an essay that is due at 4. This random spurts of energy and adrenaline is rather interesting.

For the first time ever, here's something I wrote that I actually like!

Let me preface this review by stating the cardinal rule of theatre: Show up on time or don’t bother showing up at all. It’s an age old adage. One of few responsibilities an audience member has (no mobile phones or talking during the performance either). It is merely a simple sign of respect for the actors and production crew, who have choreographed, timed and perfected their piece without including interruptions of the whispered “so sorry, excuse me, had car troubles etc..” kind. The illusion of the performance on stage is shattered whenever some dickhead stumbles in the dark, groping for a spare seat while trying to do it as quietly (never works, mate) as possible.


It feels good to get that off my chest. I suppose it shall not come as a surprise when I reveal that there were a fair number of stragglers who crashed their way into the theatre much later after Romeo and Juliet had started. Cheers, tossers!

Too bad it had to be cut due to word space constraints.

Alanis, now this is irony.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Oi, you racist!

Actually, it's more like 'national-ist'. Spank you very much.

Differentiating McDonald's customers by their nationality.

Australians - Cheeseburgers, Big Macs, Quarters.. they are a red meat loving lot.

The Australian vegetarian - will order a Big Mac with no meat. And fries. And an apple pie.

Singaporeans - are the only customers who request for no tartare sauce on their Fillet burgers. Usually of the female gender. Coincidentally, their physiques usually resemble a really really thin rail.

Malaysians - usually request for ketchup instead once they find out that a sweet and sour sauce packet costs 50 cents.

Indians - "What item on your menu has no meat?" For some reason, also dislikes ice in their cokes. Only 1% uses their Ps and Qs when ordering. Will usually ignore when I say "Thank you, come again." Dudes, it's comedy gold!

The Japanese - Almost always order a "Mc-Ozzie". Will then get flustered when I say, "a McOz (pronounced Aus.) in a meal or by itself?"

Americans - only ever have their coffee black. Double quarter pounders and triple cheeseburgers sell really well with this crowd.

The English and the Irish- Regardless of what they order, are usually rather curt. Unless drunk.

Ze French- love their cafe lattes.

The Italians - will sip their machiattos while having a boisterous chat that will attract the attention of other customers.

The Chinese - will almost always require a translator or a Mandarin speaking server. Regardless of explanation or gesturing will usually end up choosing either the fish or chicken burger. Will go on to glare and give me the evil eye when I answer to being Chinese but not speaking Mandarin.

Friday, July 20, 2007

But before I go, let me get my pent up typing need out of the way..

In my previous Internet-less state, I typed out my thoughts and opinions on last season's US television series. Partly because I've been meaning to give my two cents on the shows that I watch and also because the need to type was driving me insane. Except I'm just too lazy to edit it. So it'll be posted someday later.

In the meanwhile, to soothe myself, here's one of those tag things I generously helped myself to from my brother's blog.

1. What were you doing at 5:00 this morning?

2. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
On the mobile with my brother.

3. Who was the last person who broke your heart?
No one. Maybe when I was 11 and Stephen Gately came out of the closet.

4. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"But if I have cereal for dinner then who's gonna eat the rice?"

5. How many different things did you drink today?
OMG. This cereal is awesome.

6. What was the last thing you bought?
For real. Forget the rice. I'm having another bowl of cereal.

7. Where do you live?
Hmmmm. Yummy cereal. What was the question?

8. How was your day yesterday?
Right. To recap, I drank water, Fanta and milk today. Bought moisturiser last. And am currently in an apartment in Melbourne. My yesterday was pretty alright, thanks for asking.

9. What is the last ice cream flavour you ate?

10. Are you an optimistic one?
I'm the "On the bright side.." girl in my group of friends.

11. Do you think your okay?
It's YOU'RE. Not your. And dude, I'm the be all and end all of fucking awesome people there ever was and that will come. I do have unusually high self-esteem and confidence, how did you guess?

12. Do you talk a lot?
As a general rule, no.

13. Are you happy with the love of your life right now? Why?
I am the love of my life. Hence, yes.

14. Do you skip meals?
I forget to eat.

15. Do you consider yourself smart?
Smarter than some, dumber than most.

16. Do you cook your own food?
Not well.

17. Reason for living?
Just because.

18. Are you typically a jolly person?
I'm all about death and destruction, Wiccan rituals and sacrificial offerings. I'm usually happy when I'm doing those.

19. Name one enemy of yours?
My genes.

20. Name one close friend.
I nearly spilled my cereal on my bed! Jeez, that was close. That would have been disastrous for the evening I had planned - lots of bumming with very little movement.

21. Who's first person in your phonebook?

22. Song playing at the moment
None. I didn't turn on my iTunes.

23. Do you believe in love at first sight?

24. Is there something you want to tell someone?
You mean apart from the other 23 answers I've just typed out to the 23 questions that were asked?

25. How many kids do you want to have?
I'm going to fail as a mom. I'll do the future generation a favour and have none.

26. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

27. Do you wanna change your name?
I used to. As documented before, I think my parents failed when it came to giving me a name that could be immediately shortened to a nickname.

28. What time did you wake up today?

29. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Carnivale.

30. Name something you CANNOT wait to do?
Well, Harry Potter book #7 is being released tomorrow..

31. Last time you saw your father
On the 11th of July

32. Have you ever donated money to a good cause?
To unworthy ones too!

33. Who's getting on your nerves right now?
Me. My skin keeps fucking around with me.

34. Most visited webpage?
My Gmail account.

35. Coke or Pepsi?

36. Last person you added on MSN/YM.
What the hell is a YM? And what is this MSN that you speaketh of?

37. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past 2 weeks?
People will do anything at my expense.

38. Do you disagree with a lot of things going on in the world?

39. Do you enjoy your friendship with your friends?

40. What is your status?
'Too awesome to function'.

41. Do you cry most of the time you have problems?
No. Apparently now I cry at stupid movies.

42. Did you have a fight with someone today?
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

43. Who cheers you up the most in your life?
It's not really a question of who but what. To which the answer would be anything. That being said, when I'm not yelling at my brother to stop being a wuss, we get along like two straw villages on fire on a windy day.

44. Do you like to chat?

45. Do you like to laugh?
What the hell kind of question is this? Next you'll be asking me whether I like to breathe. Or whether I like hearing things. Dumbass.

46. Last text msg from?
It's just occurred to me that I have no explanation for why I seem to be conversing with the tag thing.

47. Last food?
Your mum.

48. What's your opinion about long distance relationship?
My opinion is of inconsequence.

49. Do you know someone engaged in a long distance relationship?

50. Have you ever taken a relationship with someone you didn't love?
Heh. "taken a relationship". Like I just picked up a relationship with someone I didn't love at the nearby Macca's drive in?

51. Have you ever hurt someone whom you love so much?
Once upon a time.

52. Do you have something you must do right now?
Consider whether I want a third bowl of cereal.

And so I'm off again.

Apparently my Internet connection isn't quite as stable as thought. I'll have to relive those dark days of not knowing the weather, tabloid news, world news, no surfing Flickr, no reading blogs and no email. If I was religious, I'd pray for strength.

A month ago I was taking time off from work and slacking off cause I was under the delusion that I had enough money in the bank to subsidise said slacking off. Yesterday I paid rent for the month of July and August as well as the bond. So now I'm broke again. It was fun times when working was optional. And in the month I don't have enough money even for a haircut that is desperately needed, my phone bill is three times what I normally pay. I'm dreading the day the money is taken out of my bank.

It's strange how I'm looking forward to school.

I need the structure muchly.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

There ain't no party like a douchebag parrrrtay!

Maximum douchabaggery
Damn straight!

I'm up and around. Fulfilling plans, making schedules and forgetting to eat. Which would be great for weight loss if it didn't end with me shovelling food down my belly at 9.24 in the night.

I've taken to exercising my inner Narcissus and have developed pictures that I've taken that I liked and hung up on the wall for decoration in my new apartment. It's such a wanker thing to do, but guess who's got two thumbs and is a wanker on most occasions? Yeap. Right here, bud!

Knowing that my brother is in the country but in a different state puts me in two state of minds. The first where I'm happy that he's here but not here HERE, the second where I find myself wishing that I came home to his inane jokes and lameness everyday. The both of us are douchebag magic together.

That being said, it will probably never fail to scar me a little every time someone confuses my brother and I for a pair of lovebirds. I know I'm 20 but fuck me. I'll be 50 and that kind of shit will still be wigging be out. It's just wrong people!

I went to a party the other day and a girl walked in wearing the exact same dress I was wearing. Now THAT was a real 'Oh, fuck me.' moment if there ever was one.

It only took me 20 years but I think I have finally matured emotionally enough to at least start crying in movies. I'm not telling which movie I recently teared up in because it is just too damn embarrassing. Nothing beats the sobfest that my viewing of Pan's Labyrinth degenerated into though.

Question of the moment
Would you rather sit through a Lord of the Rings or a Harry Potter movie marathon where you watch all chapters of the movie back to back? Actually the better question is, would you rather sit through ALL the extra features on the three chapters of LotR or wince your way through the first and second HP movie- the one where the kids kid act their way through the movie (although to be fair, Jake Llyod in Star Wars #1 took the prize for 'Best' Kid Acting award in the new millenium)?

Today I got licked on my face by a friend. Cootiesssss, ew!

And that folks, is my way of updating a month's worth of events.

Friday, June 29, 2007


I never learn.

I had time to go watch Knocked Up.
Had time to sell stuff on eBay.
Had time to go to the Sneakers Exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria.
Had time to hang out.
Had time to work.
Had time to go watch Transformers.
Had time to google Megan Fox and wonder why she looks so plastic when she's only a year older than me. I mean, seriously. Lindsay Lohan looks trashed and aged but not plastic. What is the deal with Fox?
Had time to watch Big Brother.
Had time to plan for yum cha tomorrow morning.

And yet all my belongings in the world are still in their respective places and not bundled up in boxes and trash bags. I've had to turn down a friend's 21st party, granted it was 2 hours outside of Melbourne, and had to turn down the offer of being on a guest list. Admittedly I'm not exactly too busted up about missing out on the club. I love my friends but I don't love R'n'B. Hip hop and rap I can do. Put on Rihanna and Fiddy Cent and I'm gone. Anyway, I'm moving again. What's new in your world?

There's this girl at work who I'm so thankful for. She teaches me about the intricacies of The White Stripes and Tool and I tell her about Arctic Monkeys and The Shins. Thank goodness for someone who understands my dislike for R'n'B and trance music.

And now I'm writing about the time I've wasted and chicks with awesome music taste, ironically wasting time that should be spent on packing. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Sausagefest + some truths

In my 20 years of living, I've watched many films. Been to a couple of movie premieres even. But never in my life have I attended a movie on its premiere night and have to queue up to get into the cinema. Even though the seats were assigned. Basically 95% of the audience were 20+ year olds males who were reliving their childhood with the action bonanza that was Transformers and no doubt wetting themselves as said action extravaganza unfolded. How many ways can you say SAUSAGEFEST? I won't lie. I enjoyed myself. The script exceeded my expectations and the action.. dare I say Michael Bay outdid his previous fares? Not an easy feat since we're talking about Michael freakin' Bay, who practically created the art of synchronized destruction in films down to a T. Of course I spent half the time giggling with my other female friend at the boys reactions. A quarter way into the movie the film blanked out - a room full of angry, anxious fanboys? A total LOL-lapalooza. And near the end? My friend was on the edge of his seat. The concentration on his face was priceless. Especially when you think about the fact that we're watching FX robots fighting each other. Being exposed to such massive levels of testosterone will probably make hair start spouting from my chest. Awesome.

And OMG, Charm! Tom Lenk, Andrew from Buffy, is in it! He's got a teeny tiny role but I squealed when I saw him.

And on to some truths:

1. I'm not going to lie. If the Spice Girls do go through with their world tour, I'll probably show up to the concert with total enthusiasm and all the pep I can muster in my body. Say what you will but 1997 was all about the Girls in my world.

2. If Weezer do indeed go through making their 6th album, I'll buy the cd. Partly out of loyalty and because I can't fight the hope that 'Make Believe' was a one time shit-tastic deal. Everytime I've convinced myself their crap, I listen to The Blue Album and it's love all again.

3. I'm pretty excited about Harry Potter. More excited than I'm willing to let on honestly. I don't consider myself a fan of the series but I'm looking forward to film #5 because Daniel Radcliffe in no. 4 blew me away and I want to see if that was just a fluke. Also looking forward to book #7 because I just want to know how it ends so I can finally close the book on the series.

4. Series 3 of Doctor Who just started on the ABC today and Torchwood premiered 2 weeks ago. Between the two I'm getting my weekly requirement of sci-fi. And just so you know, in case anyone asks, yes, Russell T. Davies is a god.

5. Yeah, I'll wait in line for tickets to the Dead Like Me movie if it goes through. The series had so much potential but floundered it all without direction which makes me kinda mad. But whatever. I'm still there.

6. I get overtly preoccupied with Big Brother. We're talking 'discussing the show on online forums' levels of preoccupied. The show is horrible and whatever but hey, if you're going to watch reality shows, might as well watch the mack daddy of them all, right?

7. Reading about Chris Benoit of the WWE makes me a little sad. Having been obsessed with the show back when it was still called the WWF, it's sad to think that one of the guys I used to root for went mental and (apparently) did a murder-murder-suicide gig on his family. Actually wait. On another note, I'm still totally freaked out finding out about how XPac, my favourite wrestler ever, got it on with Chyna and made a sex tape out of it. Everytime I try to visualise the two being within 2 feet of each other my mind implodes. Too much grossness.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Saturday, June 16, 2007

My Favourite Bookmarks

I admit, I'm a regular 'bookmark' hoarder. I bookmark pages I like, pages I think are interesting, or pages that I want to read in the future on a regular basis. My bookmark list used to scroll right off the screen. After organizing it, it's hardly any cleaner, but there certainly are more categories now. Sheesh. Anyway, these are a few of my favourite bookmarks.

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo

This video above is, dare I say it, the best video out there in the world wide web. Much like OK Go's 'Here We Go Again', this video combines creativity and choreography with the added bonus of the charm that can only come from an infectious group energy and spontaneity. Give it a watch and I promise you will never listen to that song again in the same light!

- 40 Greatest Internet Superstars as compiled by VH1.
Honestly, I have yet to watch Internet superstar number #1 in action. Anyone care to verify that it's greatness far outweighs Tila Tequila's infamy?

- After re-evaluating Episode 4-6 in light of Episode 3, are R2D2 and Chewbacca the true heroes behind the Star Wars saga?
If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.
And with regards to dear ol' Chewie:
20 years earlier, Chewbacca was second in command of the defence of his planet. He's there in the tactical conferences and there on the front lines and is a personal friend of Yoda's. When he needed reliable people to join the embryonic Alliance, who else would Yoda turn to but his old friend from Kashykk? Given his background, there is no way that Chewie would spend the crucial years of the rebellion as the second-in-command to (sorry Han) a low-level smuggler. Unless it's his cover. In fact, Chewie is a top-line spy and flies what is in many ways the Rebellion's best ship.
Personally, I'm not fully convinced that R2D2 is all that the article makes it out to be. The article does make me rethink Chewie's importance in the saga.

- Marketing in terms of gaming consoles: A look at Marketing-Push (Sony and Microsoft) vs Evangelism-Pull (Nintendo and Apple).
Nintendo and Apple products are being effectively pushed by evangelists. Sure, slick advertising augments these more organic efforts, but make no mistake: in general, people that own Apple products love them and talk about them. Frequently. The same with Nintendo and the Wii. I just can't get people to shut up about these products. But I can't say the same for Microsoft and Sony, notwithstanding how cool or slick their graphics are or how many features and functions their consoles have.
- by Roger Ehrenberg @ Information Arbitrage
In terms of gaming consoles, I'm certainly more intrigued by the Nintendo Wii. I've played games on my friend's XBox, and whether it's because I'm not a hardcore gamer or otherwise, I found the many buttons to be very distracting. Of course, no need to go into the Apple fanatics. No other company can come close to catching up with the success Apple has have with the digital music revolution. With the iPhone releasing soon in the US, that group of the population is surely pissing themselves with excitement.

- 100 words every high school graduate should know.
I fail at life. There are at least 10 words I've never even heard of and a quarter that I don't know the meaning of. FAIL!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Today is... of those days where I feel like I've achieved heaps and crossed many things off my list. But because most of these stuff were delayed due to the exams, after factoring in the new stuff my to-do list is back to square one.

Here is the very impressive list of things I did today:

- got Ad's 'farewell gift' although she has actually deserted me to gallivant around Europe.
- called up Nick to wish him a safe flight only to realise that he's already left.
- googled 'The World Clock' while on the train to Caulfield. Oh.
- became Ad's personal slave for the early part of the day.
- got my new jeans hemmed. One of two things that suck with being vertically-challenged.
- got my brother's graduation/birthday present.
- figured out what to get everyone, except male friends, for their birthday. Every damn year..
- made this necklace. I'm super psyched that it came out exactly like I imagined hence the selfwankerism.


- bought groceries.
- bought fasteners for black dress.
- opened my sewing kit to find out that it came with fasteners.
- altered black dress with fasteners successfully on first try!
- entertain thoughts of having actual sewing skills and getting a sewing machine so that I can hem my own jeans.
- remember that my foray with knitting ended as soon as it started.
- emails, emails, emails.

Strange this sense of accomplishment that strikes after finishing these inconsequential errands.

Oh boy. I either need to upgrade my Flickr account or stop posting pictures.

Monday, June 11, 2007


Here's something to chew on while you wait for the next Judd Apatow movie to roll into cinemas near you.
When employed correctly, improvisation can be a glorious thing, but I feel like it's increasingly used as a crutch for lazy filmmakers. Ideally, filmmakers start with a strong script and improve it through improvisation. But more often, it feels like the studio starts off with a really weak script that they figure an Owen Wilson or Will Ferrell can single-handedly save via improvisation. The result is an endless parade of half-assed, kinda-okay movies with a smattering of good ideas and funny scenes that would benefit greatly from a few more drafts and a lot more discipline.
- excerpt from Is Improvisation Ruining Film Comedy at The A.V. Club.
While I didn't think The 40 Year Old Virgin was all that it cracked up to be, I cannot get over Anchorman. I am super psyched for Knocked Up (5 July) and Superbad (20 Sept). Also am itching to get a copy of Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Monday, May 28, 2007

Reality and sleep

Today for the first time ever I woke up and didn't know what was real. I dream a lot during sleep, even have lots of those 'false awakening' dreams (where you think you've woken but are still asleep), but I've never woken up and felt completely disassociated from reality before. I checked the time, brushed my teeth and took a shower but when all that was done I still wasn't sure if I was awake. Now it's 8.36 at night and I'm still very jittery and thoroughly unnerved. Everything feels unreal. I hate the feeling.

All I hear in my head is Air's 'Playground Love'. I can't decide if my sensory abilities feels like it's cheating or being cheated. I've slapped myself a couple times now but then I've slapped myself in dreams before. This would make a good entry in my dream journal if I actually kept one.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Ruminations: Part III

- I was trawling through my archives and I thought it necessary to point out a particularly odd event that happened in May of '06. The oddity is that history has repeated itself and because I noted it down on the blog, I can marvel at the strange way the same thing happened again in the same month it happened before in the present day of May of '07. Which is really just the most long-winded way I could think of parleying the information that my fan heater has died. Again. Like it did before. Yes, that really is all.

- With a lot of the US TV series winding down now, I desperately want to type up a post comparing, contrasting and reviewing the shows I've been diligently following since last fall. When they premiered I wrote up a post about shows that I were looking forward to. I would very much like to revisit that and see if my predictions or assumptions were in any way true. Except that I don't have the time. So I'll probably do this in the week after next. Which annoys me because I'm afraid I'll lack the drive to do it later. I should probably just do it now and not waste the time on debating the merits of doing it now or later. But where's the uselessness in that? Which actually brings me to my next point.

- I've been toying with the idea of either converting this blog to a purely pop culture concentrated one or starting up a new one to vent my pop culture obsessions. After going through the archives I realize that since a significantly large portion of posts tend to be about movies/music/allthatrot, it's not exactly fair to subject friends who come here to live vicariously (cough) through my personal posts. I feel quite guilty force feeding people my fanwanks and rants about stuff they don't care about. Except right now I can't quite decide which route to take. Do I take out all the personal stuff out of Sporadic Word Vomit or transport all my pop culture posts to a new plate? Or continue to do my pop-cultural version of religious bible-thumping as per usual?

- I wish I could stop eating KFC. When I'm stripping the meat off the grotesquely small bird I keep imagining a mutated bird running around the KFC product farm without beaks, or a tail and three eyes. Or whatever abomination the conspiracy theorists are yelling from their soapbox. But damn that original recipe, 12 secret herb and spices crap. Like a fly to the electric-fly-killer-box, I'm drawn right back into the greasy stores of Kentucky Effin' Chicken whenever I pass by and catch a whiff of the steroid chickens. Damn it.

- I cannot wait for winter break to start. For starters there's the China exhibition at the Melbourne Museum I must go to before it's over (insane wildness). There's also the sneakers exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria that if I miss will lead to massive stomping of my Chucks-covered feet (the party train just does not stop). After that I need to go visit the Human Bodyworks exhibition when it hits Docklands. Seriously guys, I put Courtney Love to shame.

- And before I forget, Wicked is coming to town! As in Wicked, of the Wizard of The Oz Broadway production! Well, technically they're coming in '08, but I've got my party poppers out and ready to go. The theatre scene is really shaping up with The Phantom of the Opera opening in July, SPAMALOT (dies of glee) in December and Wicked in 2008. Between this and all the exhibitions I intend to go to, I've just got about my local coke dealer primed for business. Lindsay Lohan, your hard-parrrrtying ass is beat.

- My mobile is now web-accessible and that pleases and frightens me at the same time. Great because I can now check my email any time but scary because I have to contend with the 24/7 knowledge that I'm simply that big a loser and short of wildly imaginative offers about enlarging a dick I don't have, I get no good emails ever.

- Also interesting to note that my stance on the Equality-Now!-No-Ma-Pa-Day-Celebration-Till-Kids-Get-Their-Recognition-Day that I spouted last year in May turned out to be nothing but a novel idea. This year I went traditional and made my mum a card. A pop up card, thankyouverymuch. All I got in return was a text message saying "I will cherish it, my dear". Yes, cherish it in monetary sum, mum. Or care packages! That would be of the awesomeness, ma.

- I don't know why I continue to write all this quips to my mum. She knows about the blog but to my knowledge, doesn't visit it. I think since she's just only conquered Yahoo Mail the idea of keeping a journal in a public virtual space where denizens of the intrawebs have access to them is just a tad too new-fangled. At the rate she's experiencing technology and all it's offshoots, she'll only appreciate the brilliance of Sporadic Word Vomit in 2016. That is if her eyesight hasn't failed her completely yet. Oh mum, surely I kid. It's like planting seeds; only after a while will you reap what you sow. And trust me when I say this forward planning is totally worth in getting a rise out of my mother.

- In all actuality, rereading the archives and finding lame attempts at bagging my mum like such makes me laugh. I alternately marvel at my childishness and snicker at my (self-deluded) witticisms. It takes very little to amuse me but even I am aware just how pathetic that admission was. Okay, humiliation stopping now.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

More stories from the foxhole!

I've been away from the fluorescent life-sucking glare of Maccas for 6 months now. My reprieve from the thankless chore that is customer service ended on Tuesday. I think the fact that I swung back like clockwork to the job says a lot about how mindless it is. Right down to the minute details like knowing where the Big Mac sauces are kept. I refuse to believe that this natural knowledge is due to my birthright at holding down a McJob for life. I cannot be a lifer. Regardless of what they say about Art students, no no no no no no no. At the very least can't I be a Big Issue vendor?

Panic aside, I decided to celebrate my first day back by breaking the most crucial rule in the employee handbook. I was a one-woman free upgrade-a-palooza. It was free sauces and free coffee upgrades all around. So I guess technically, I actually got a lot of thanks in my three hour shift. It would have been terribly ironic if I had gotten caught out and fired on my first day back in retrospect.

Here's a couple of things about 'the McDonald's experience' I forgot over time:

1. The amount of time spent on a shift always feels twice longer than it actually is.
2. Why do people insist on replying, "Oh, I'm sweet enough" when asked if they want sugar in their coffee? Is there a newsletter going around on how to be lame, unfunny and corny in one fell swoop?
3. By the way, strange how the amount of customers who give corny replies has increased exponentially in my absence.
4. How cute most of the backpackers are who go into the store. Thank goodness we're smack right in the middle of backpackers central.
5. How incredibly quirky some customers are. This bunch of skater kids came in all shifty-eyed and guilty looking. They ordered a coke and a cheeseburger. After they got their order, they hightailed it out of the store doing a quick ollie down our steps. Bless their little diehard skater mentality. Would have been better if they had fallen.
6. How high the crew turnover is. I don't know three quarters of the current crew there.
7. How bitchy the people who work there are. It's all 'who's sleeping with who', 'who sucks', 'who's secretly gay' gossip. I don't indulge but I can't help if my ear perks up occasionally! First day back and I already know who's doing who. Oh, the workplace drama!

So expect more stories of the freaks, the saints and the crazy in the future. As seen from both sides of the counter.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Conversations With Dead People.

There is this quote in Season 7 of Buffy in the episode 'Conversations With Dead People' which best states everything that I feel about high school. Or at least the high school experience that I remember looking back at it now that I'm four years out of it.

I really miss [high school]. Time goes by, and everything drops away. All the cruelty, all the pain, all that humiliation. It all washes away. I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day. I miss the people who never knew I existed. I miss 'em all. I want to talk to them, you know. I want to find out how they're doing. I want to know what's going on in their lives.


Okay, so I don't exactly identify with the cruelty, pain and humiliation that Jonathan (the ubernerd) experienced. But the rest of it, about missing everyone is really what I think about in the quiet moments when my mind is not preoccupied with the hustle and bustle of life and all its multiple tangents.

I miss all the random people and groups who made up the student body of SMKDU Class of 2003. I miss the Art class guys who, it's a safe bet, never knew I existed. I miss the 'hello and goodbye' people I said hello and goodbye to. I miss the people I knew in my class. I miss the people whom I didn't know in my class. I miss the people I had inside jokes with. I miss the Blue house members I'd muck around with on Sports Day. I miss the people I played tennis with. I miss the people I lost contact with, especially the ones who I had a real connection with. I miss the people I would go out of my way to avoid. Alright, maybe 'miss' is a stretch, but I'd like to know how they're doing. Did the two siblings who made up the weirdo factor in our class ever grow out of their awkwardness? Who is engaged? Married? Pregnant? A parent?

Who turned their lives around? Did the band who won Battle of the Bands every year ever go on to get a record deal? Are the stoners still stoning? Do the people who smoked in high school still smoke now? I'd just really like to seat everyone down and get them to tell their post-high school story. I want to hear about their lives when I ask, "How's it going?". I will be all ears.

But I was a no one in the grand scheme of high school hierarchy. I wasn't overtly athletic, popular or a teacher's pet. I wasn't part of the 'pretty people' or hard-working enough to excel academically. I hardly ever volunteered for anything and on the days when I wasn't cutting class, I was sleeping in class. I kept a low profile amongst the student body and within the clubs and organizations that I was involved with.

So I guess in reality, the idea of meeting and catching up with ex-school mates won't be quite so romantic on account of people going, "And you are?" Even if they remembered who I was there's no guarantee that I would have remembered them. And in real life people will answer "I've been good" regardless of actual state of goodness in their lives when questioned.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I didn't attend the school prom so I never really got proper closure. Friends told me it was overrated anyway but maybe had I attended the event and seen everyone together for the last time I wouldn't be thinking like this. Who knows? So I suppose I'll just hold on to that idea of a perfect meeting wherein I spend a perfect day just catching up with all those people I miss sans weirdness, defensiveness and any lull in the conversation.

Besides, Friendster-stalking requires less communication and nullifies all odds of awkwardness anyway.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Superhero gabbery

Spiderman 3
So if you've been following the comments in the previous post you would have gotten the general feel of my friends and my opinion regarding Spiderman 3. If you haven't, here's what you need to know:

As much as it pains me to admit this, Spiderman 3 spread itself too thin in a way bloated running time, delivering an 'okay' film where it had the makings of a masterpiece. It doesn't quite classify as an atrocity, but given the previous two instalments that successfully balanced the pressures of financial success and comic book-realm geekery, the third film surely left a bitter taste in what could have been an epic trilogy. If this is indeed the last film for the franchise (although I doubt it because IMDb has Spiderman 4 down for a 2009 release), it is surely a lousy way to bow out of the scene.

Where did it go wrong?
i. The introduction of additional villians at the cost of their character development.
According to the articles I've been reading, the producers, in so many words, forced Sam Raimi to implement the character of Venom. The excuse given was that "the fans wanted it". While I do think the idea of Eddie Brock/Venom makes a great foil to Peter Parker, he had to contend with Goblin Jr. and Sandman for screen time. Not forgetting the whole relationship aspect of Peter Parker and MJ Watson that the film went into great detail too. This meant that what we saw of Brock was really quite one-dimensional. Had he been taken out of the equation and perhaps introduced in film no. 4 or had his character been laid the groundwork in Spiderman 3 and expanded in no. 4, maybe the franchise would have done him justice.

ii. Gwen Stacy
As above, only applied to the romantic part of the movie.

iii. Excessiveness
There were a lot of scenes that could have been cut short - including the action scenes, the romantic scenes and the comedy scenes. They might have been intended to add to the momentum of the story but in the long run it added to the excessively long running time. Not even halfway into the movie, I started checking the time. And that NEVER happens. If this is the standard for the summer movies to come, the kids of America are going to go back to school in the Fall pasty and overweight.

iv. Pacing and tone of the film
Part of the problem was the pacing of the film. While before it blended comedy and action seamlessly, in Spiderman 3 the erratic tone of the movie that swung from bizarre to hilarious in nanoseconds had me quite unsettled. Were we supposed to take Peter Parker seriously after he did what he did down the street? I want to attribute this problem to the script, but I suspect editing had a play in it as well.

v. Deux ex machina
For the most part I find the use of deux ex machina to be the most lazy way of ending a story or a plot point. It's heavy handed, unsubtle and frankly, insulting to the movie-going public who has coughed up fifteen bucks to watch a film. I'm trying to keep this review spoiler-free so I won't mention anything further except for this, you'll know it when you've seen it. Then you'll want to throw rocks at Sam Raimi, his brother and the other dude who are the writers of the film.

vi. My dad
My dad's quip ruined many scenes for me. I think a couple other people probably felt the same way as my dad because people started laughing inappropriately in certain scenes. Tsk. I knew I shouldn't have asked him what he thought of it.

That being said, there are of course good points to the film. The action scenes were jaw-droppingly fantastic and the comedy scenes (or at least the scenes I find comedic) definitely brought out the chuckles as well. For the most part, the cast did what they could do with the material and delivered. J.K. Simmons, who plays Jonah Jameson, is a stand out, brilliant as per usual. Is the film worth watching? Well, given the subject material (comic book adaptation) I don't see how it's worse than other fare. But if you want to keep only good memories of the film franchise? Mull on it for a little while.

Fantastic Four: The Unnecessary Sequel
The four main cast members of the movie came down to Melbourne for the movie premiere. Having nothing to do on a Friday night, Ad and I decided to go for it. Also, we had never been to the Southland shopping mall where the premiere was held and figured we'd kill two birds with one stone in that trip. Bear in mind that neither of us are particularly huge fans of the film or the cast. We were hoping that Doug Jones, who is one of the most prolific 'movement actors' (he plays the Silver Surfer in FanFourTwo, was Hellboy in Hellboy, the faun in Pan's Labyrinth) in the industry, would show up for a surprise visit but he didn't. Nonetheless, we stuck around for funsies.

Someone's got to do the job
Someone's got to do the dirty job.

Ad and I set up camp at around 5 right up front at the barricades. We thought we were bring slightly freaky but the crowd had already started to swell by the time we got there. We were also slightly mortified to discover that the average age of the crowd was 15. Luckily opposite us and by our right were adults. They were slated to arrive at 6.30 pm. After much fake cries and false alarms, they showed up at 6.45 pm. The crowd that was largely there for Jessica Alba went ape-shit crazy.

Michael Chiklis
First out: Michael Chiklis.

Ad and I decided that since everyone was cheering for Alba, we would cheer for Michael Chiklis. It's a process of elimination really. Alba = too many fanboys/girls, Chris Evans = ditto, Ioan Gruffudd = we didn't know how to pronounce his name.

Jesscica Alba
School girl on my right: "Oh my god!!! I'm going to cry!!!!!!!!"

I didn't really understand her logic but it certainly made me laugh at a time when my ribs were pressed up to the barricades and I was being pushed from everywhere by autograph hounds. Jessica Alba is really quite pretty. And she asked the crowd to give space to a little kid who was being crushed by the crowd.

Chris Evans
He is really as pretty as Jessica Alba.

Ad and I agreed that he wasn't as tall as we expected. I guess it's no secret that IMDb lies about height. Which makes me wonder.. Just how tall exactly is Seth Green?

Ioan Gruffudd and I
Gratuitous shot of celebrity and me.

He is so nice! He and Michael Chiklis were the only ones who really obliged to the crowd request. He was the last one in and although his minders were telling him to get a move on, he still said okay when I requested a picture with him. He was the only one Ad and I requested a picture with and he obliged on both accounts. What a legend. This makes me wish I was a fan.

Full cast autograph
Spoils of the night.

I can't say I was terribly star struck. I think I was left truly gap-mouthed when I met Danny Boyle earlier this year at the early premiere of Sunshine. I was actually embarrassingly enough tongue-tied!

Question: Would I be terribly awful if for all my male friend's 21st this year I blow up all the pictures I took of Jessica Alba and give it to them as a present?