Thursday, August 09, 2007

3304 - the refugee safehouse

My apartment has magical qualities. It attracts houseguests of the unwanted variety.

Take roommate #1 for example. Her boyfriend came and occupied the couch for a week and a half. He cooked the best smelling Asian meals but never offered any. He and his girlfriend were from the hardcore Mandarin speaking districts of China, so all their conversations seemed like arguments to my virgin ears. It only took the girl actually throwing food onto the floor for me to realize that an actual fight was going on. He wasn't rude but he smoked, so he stunk anyway. And best yet, the dude isn't even cute or have a good body to perve at. Call me superficial but if some dude is going to crash at my place, at least have the decency to be perve-worthy, you know? It's total incentive for me to not mind a hot dude staying. Especially if he sleeps without a shirt. Anyway, roommate #1 left for China permanently 2 days ago. He sent her off to the airport and for reasons that are escaping my head, came back here to sleep. He woke up 12 hours later, ate some noodles and did his laundry. Roommate #2 and I wanted to kick him out but we figured he was heartbroken and all that rot. Anyway, the dude finally left for good today. Turns out his cooking smelled so damn good because he used up all my garlic. Cheers, ya twat!

And now a female friend of roommate #2 has been sleeping over. Apparently she's fighting with her boyfriend. I honestly don't care anymore. I need to find the biggest dude I know and sponsor him our couch just because.

Jon, September break, yeah?

Lesson learned from these experiences:
Relationships are nothing but trouble. Even more so if your house happens to be a haven for all in need.