Monday, December 18, 2006

Ruminations: Part II

1. I have recently discovered a new allergy that I suffer from that unfortunately does not seem to be letting up anytime soon. It is potentially lethal, I feel, and any help given in curing it will be much appreciated. This is it: I am allergic to teenagers of the younger-teeny-bopper variety. It's school holiday season now in Malaysia and the damn kids are out in packs of at least six at a given time and they take up seats at restaurants, giggle excessively in not-really-funny scenes at the movies and block my walking path. You could point out that I too am a teenager, albeit one in the final year, but then I'd have to de-befriend you.

2. To the kids who haven't got the memo and think Heelys (those shoes with the wheels in the heel) should still be worn, please know that your parents don't love you and you were adopted.

3. I got into my first driving accident couple days back. It was at a stupid turning to a road which I stupidly assumed was one-way and my mum was in the front seat giving lousy ass, stupidly confusing directions. Suffice to say, I've now given my mum enough nagging ammo to last a few generations. When last questioned, my mum could not have a bigger smirk on her face.

4. For the life of me, I cannot get into Faulker's works. I've so far attempted 'The Sound and the Fury' and that ended with me exchanging the book for store credit. Yet for some reason or another I purchased 'As I Lay Dying' two days ago, thinking I'd give the guy another shot. I plead temporary insanity. Luckily it only cost 12 ringgit which if I think about, isn't really that much.

5. I went to a Pay Less Books book clearance and came back with 14 books for less than RM50 which of course put me into a complete high today. If there's one thing I love more than a good buy is the good buy being books at a reasonable price. Any regular reader in Malaysia will tell you that that reading here is quite an expensive habit to maintain. A
fiction novel in paperback form would normally sell for 35 bucks (and when I say bucks, I really mean ringgit) and that's not even including the non-fiction, science, astrology, hardcover stuff. Which is why after I discovered Pay Less Books, a secondhand book store chain with outlets in among other places, One Utama, Carrefour and Atria, I only ever buy second hand books now. It's heaps cheaper and they have a pretty wide variety of books (especially the Atria branch). It might be a little less presentable looking than a fresh, plastic-wrapped MPH bought one, but really, what matters is between the covers, right?

6. That being said, I couldn't find any Neil Gaiman today. So I might actually have to purchase them from MPH. Or maybe I should go to PLB in Atria, since I haven't checked them out yet. Yes.. I should do that.

7. Unfortunately I have also yet to find any manga series on the shelves of Pay Less Books. Which means that I am going to have to fork out an exorbitant amount of money for the Battle Royale and Death Note series if I do decide to get it. Which I probably won't. Because gosh darn it, RM 300+ for manga is something I'm not willing to pay. So I'll just keep moaning about them with the hopes that maybe some charitable do-gooder (ie. friends -ahem-) will decide to help out and fix me of my want. No pressure, or nothing. It's not like my birthday is coming or anything. Oh wait, yes it is.

8. I've been very lazy with email lately, so Charm I promise that my email is coming. Although I fully expect you to be busy in the land of old people and swamps so I guess I could hold out a little more. Alright, alright.. I'm on it.

9. If you're reading this, hello Li Yang! I didn't know you go by Daniel too until Jon filled me in. It was great seeing you during the dinner although I didn't get to talk to you much. I should actually reply in the comments but I'm much too lazy to do so.

10. I am trying to create a Guilty Pleasure Mix CD (tm) and it is surprisingly hard to do so. One CD allows for 18 songs, 19 if you're lucky and fitting in 18 of the most embarrassing, but totally awesome songs is taking much longer than I expected. This is what it looks like, with commentary (re: my defense), since it's Christmas and it's supposed to be time of giving. Before you mock and ostracize me forever, what's yours?


Fernando - ABBA
A must have in my mix CD since I normally despise ABBA, but really dig this song. I usually break out the funky Saturday Night Fever move whenever it plays on my iTunes.

Lala - Ashlee Simpson

She may be the unholy spawn of living-off-your-famous-sisters-name, capitalism and unhinged consumerism but this song still makes me dance and sing-a-long like a squirrel on fire, or what I imagine a squirrel on fire would look like, which is unbelievably ghastly and funny at the same time. Basically, my feelings toward this song too.

Quit Playing Games With My Heart
- Backstreet Boys
If you've been visiting my blog regularly, you know that I actually quite like the BSB. Which is why for me choosing only one BSB song as a guilty pleasure was simply too hard and complicated for words. I had to factor in level of cringe-worthiness and how loud I sing the chorus along too to get the final two. In the end the totally gay video for this song made me choose it over 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back). I'm still a little torn.

One Week - Barenaked Ladies
A one-hit wonder if there ever was one. Actually no, scratch that, Deep Blue Something's 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' remains the yardstick for all one-hit wonders that ever existed and any future hits that will come.

Kokomo- Beach Boys
It's so bad, it's effin' fantastic and you know it!

Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
Pete Wentz's exploits with his camera phone may have scarred me for life but this song remains one that I sing when no one is listening and I'm all alone. Eyeliner aside, the line "I'm just a notch on your bedpost/but you're just a line in a song" is really effective in using your band to slag off an ex, no?

Faith - George Michael
Another must-have for the mix CD. I'm so in love with this song I've even got the Limp Bizkit and The Boy Least Likely To covers. I'm risking social pariahness, but whatever. This song is total gold.

Get Right - Jennifer Lopez
Yeah yeah.. at least it wasn't from that 'Jenny from the Block' CD.

Give It to You - Jordan Knight
I think he was an ex-member of a once famous boyband, possibly New Kids. I don't know why I like it.

Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
It's the damn violin that puts them above other pop-rock bands.

Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
There must be a level of hell that is specially reserved for people who admit to liking songs by a reality TV star. I suppose, I'll be seeing at least one of my friends there?

Everything - M2M
I think I gave Chen Chou so much flack for liking them in high school, but at least they're not Mandy Moore, right? That's my rationale and I'm sticking with it.

Just Another Phase - The Moffats
Actually liking Mandy Moore might not be so bad in comparison. Hmm. The song is really good and matured for the band that came out with some of the gayest poppy-sounding 'lite rock' in the 90s. It's like Hanson's 'Weird', a different sound which worked for an innately lame band.

Mother We Can't Get Enough - New Radicals
It was on the soundtrack of A Walk to Remember, which unfortunately really detracts the song from it's really kick-ass riff.

One Girl Revolution - superchic[K]
Lame band name. Lame song title. Really good 'girl power' song without the tackiness of Spice Girls attached.

Move Your Feet - Junior Senior
It's not really a guilty pleasure since I'll gladly tell anyone that I really like it. So it might not end up on the final mix after all.

Bust a Move - Young MC
This song shouldn't be on anyone's guilty pleasure, but it's the kind you end up feigning ignorance at whenever it comes on. Oh, I don't know. It might not be in the final cut either.

11. The baristas who work at coffee chains in Malaysia are a pitiful lot. The get absolutely no reprieve from the horror that are frappes. At least in Melbourne, winter ensured that only the odd psycho would buy an ice-blended drink. Baristas don't even get the option of a shift without making frappes over here due to the tropical weather. Heh. That's bloody hilarious and absolutely not going to stop me from ordering a mocha at Coffee Bean or a Java Chip at Starbucks!

12. Since everyone here dresses in a jeans and a tee, people-watching here is absolutely depressing. Echoing Sophia's sentiments, people of Malaysia really need to funkify their wardrobe please. As a serial people-watcher, I am at a terrible loss and know not how to continue my voyeuristic tendencies.

13. For some reason or another, whenever I'm in Malaysia my knowledge of Bahasa Malaysia and Cantonese improves substantially. Maybe it's the environment or the simple fact of using it more but I find my usage less awkward. In fact today some guy even asked if I was from Indonesia which pleased me so since I've been trying to speak BM in the style of Bahasa Indon since Trinity. Of course, my Cantonese remains completely anglo-accented which my dad seems to find immensely amusing. It's Daniel-Wu-in-his-early-days bad. Which I suppose is kind of funny.

14. I'm all for Malaysia, but really, don't bother watching Cicakman. The really sad thing about the movie is that the effects were utterly impressive, almost Hollywood-material, but the long, unfunny sequences made the viewing a complete pain. The film had potential, no doubt, and with harsher editing it could have been really something. Unfortunately, 'humour', which you can tell by my use of the apostrophes isn't really humorous, was littered abundantly throughout the movie much to merely test the patience of the audience. Another one bites the dust, eh?

15. It kills me that I'll be missing Beastie Boys in February. I flipped on MTV to come across the MTV$2Bill program with Beastie Boys performing live, and I'm afraid that's the closest thing to a watching them live for the foreseeable future. How utterly depressing.

16. Also another downside to my holiday in Malaysia is the fact that I'm probably going to have to give up a potentially awesome job because I can't make the interview. There's no need to go into specifics since it'll just depress me more but I'll just say that that job would have been a real resume booster. Here's hoping something great comes along later in the year when I'm actually in Melbourne.

"I'll toast to that, Karen."
"You can't toast yourself Kaz. That's lame."
"Oh, and talking to yourself and debating the lameness of toasting yourself is what exactly?"
"Pathetic and borderline creepy, but not lame!"
"I bet our parents never loved us and we're adopted too."
"Nope, just a middle child, dude."

Thursday, December 07, 2006

The more things change..

Jon through the peep hole

I bought a door peep hole that allows for a 'fish eye' effect in the pictures. This changes everything...

Monday, November 27, 2006

The best laid plans..

Since two days ago, my plan was to be fully packed and in bed by two at the latest. Ad told me about the awesome in-flight entertainment that I didn't want to miss by sleeping so I figured enough of this insomnia crap, let's bring in the big guns (sleeping pill). I also wanted to be fully packed before I went to bed because I didn't want to risk the catastrophe that was last July's 30-minute-frantic-packing-job. Oh, but how I will cry if I forget my driver's license again.

Of course, it's now 4.01 am, I've been up since four am, I'm running on 2 hour and 10 minutes worth of sleep and I have done squat on the packing front. On the bright side, I managed to drop in on my friend's birthday party and finally finished the full 3.2 kms walk around Princes Park with the additional bonus of gossip, mindless chatter and sarcasm all around. Jesus Christ.. talk about plans gone awry.

I realized that I should be packing but today has been an interesting day of sorts and I want to pen it down before I forget. Firstly, I went to church, 4th time in my life, and didn't fall asleep during the three hour service, time ever, I should add. It was interesting to say the least. I have been meeting and talking with a couple of missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) for a couple of weeks now and I finally went to a service yesterday. Thoughts: It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. I would go into specifics about how I met the missionaries but while I may be actively wasting my time, I also realize that I don't have that much active time to waste. That made no sense, but let's just move on m'kay?

Then while doing some Christmas shopping for friends, I bumped into a classmate from high school. Don't you just hate the awkward pause that follows after a person yells out your name and your mind is pulling nothing but blanks? To add insult to the injury, we were in the same class for two friggin' years and were relatively friendly. In my defense,it's not like I had forgotten her completely. Our eyes met and did the weird sizing up/recognition thing before she finally went, "Karen?" Oh, the embarassment that followed after a long pause and too many false starts. And this made me wonder; are peoples memories just better than mine or have I not changed at all since primary school? And if I haven't changed does that mean I have the look of a nine year old or did I look nineteen when I was nine?

And finally, the birthday party. I had initially declined going, using packing as an excuse, but after threats of physical and privacy abuse, I caved and attended the party. It was fun and definitely good to see the birthday girl bursting with happiness.

Newsflash: Macca's crew have lives outside the Golden Arches.
That's her on the right. Yeah, she is pretty hot.

After the party I finally took a ride on the back of Jim's scooter, and can I just say that riding a motorbike is fucking exhilarating? Too righteous. On the way back, Neil wanted to see me drive his car. Kids, one year without touching the wheel and guess who's still got some mad skillz?? Yeah, holla at your girl!

What choo mean I can't pull that off? Is it because I ain't black? Oh, you racist pig!

I'm losing concentration but I just need to type this one last thing. The Assistant Manager at my Maccas store just recently implemented a new change in the holiday roster. The new rule is that if you're away for more than two months, you need to hand in your uniform and basically reapply for the same position after you've gotten back. Now, we've put up with a lot of crap from management, mostly cost-saving measures, but this is a new low. I only heard about it from my friend, Steph, who although has been working there for two years, apparently isn't worth Macca's loyalty. This is total bull because Steph is one of our best and most reliable workers. If this is the steps our store is doing to combat the high turnover rate, this isn't the way to go about it.
After chatting with her, she admits that she couldn't be arsed reapplying for the job after she gets back from Indonesia, which leads to Macca's losing a valuable crew member. The people who are going away for long periods are usually international students on their summer break. They're good workers and have usually been there a while. How is it fair to punish them for using their holiday to visit the family instead of grovelling at Macca's? How is that going to encourage any job loyalty among the workers? What the fuck kind of management material are they reading??

I write this now to remind myself about how angry I was when I first heard it. Tomorrow I'm going to the store to talk to the Assistant Manager and tell her what I think about this new rule. Granted of course that I wake up in time. At this rate, there will be a frantic rush again of the 'OMG-my-plane-leaves-in-an-hour-and-I-just-woke-up!!!' kind.

Photography project pictures for today

A cheap knock off

Faster than a speeding bullet

Traffic light for trams (tram light?)

Head on over to my Flickr page for more party and project pictures.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Contacts + rubbing = le ouch.

Contacts + rubbing = le ouch.
Originally uploaded by nerak.a.

Between my irregular wear and questionable contact-care hygiene, it had to happen at some point, right?

Friday, November 24, 2006

Blogger Beta?

I find it hilarious how hard Blogger is pushing for users to switch over to Blogger Beta. It used to be a small line at the start of the log-in page and now it's taking up three quarters of the top page when you're logged-in and at the Dashboard. It looks fairly promising, what with it's new privacy controls and post labels features, but it took my technologically-challenged self effing forever to 'master' the HTML knowledge needed to tweak blog templates, and I'm unsure about their new 'drag + drop' template editing (read: what will happen to my mad HTML skillz??). Anyway, if anyone reading this has already switched over, do leave a comment about what it's like over at the Beta side. Is it greener there?

I've been playing with the idea of starting a month-long photography project for a while now and two days ago I finally decided to commit it. The project is this: for an entire month, I will take at least one photo a day, a documentary of sorts, if you will. The photos can be of anything; an interesting event of the day, something that caught my eye, a fly on the wall.. there are no rules. I was inspired by an article at Photojojo, a really good and innovative photography blog, about a guy who took a 365 photos for an entire year. The end product were memories that were immortalized on film. Of course, I don't think I have the patience to go through an entire year, so I'm making it a month, with an option to extend of course.

It makes for good practice for people like me who want to move past the 'point and shoot' photography stage and it is also fun, or so I read. So for an entire month, I'll be snap-happy and if I meet you be accomodating and willing, yeah? Wishing you thanks in advance!

I went around campus and the city yesterday, running errands and taking pictures and most of it are uploaded on my Flickr page so mosey on over if you're interested. Rather unexpected was the 'graffiti' theme in a number of the photos taken, some funnier than others.

Make Property History


Wall art @ Melbourne Central

The last one is actually a wall at Melbourne Central, but I think the spray painted sign at the top wasn't in the original conception of the wall art. I could be wrong, but who cares. I'm still amazed I've never seen that wall although I go into Melbourne Central at least once a week.

Also, as an additional challenge for myself, multiple photos that I am included in must have me flashing something besides the generic grin. Seriously. There's only so many pictures I can view where I am wearing the stupid inane grin before I go crazy and want to cut /digitally erase myself out.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

A watched pot and all that jazz..

My download of the latest episode of Veronica Mars will be completed in about an hour and I need something to distract me from staring at the fluctuating download speed and willing it to go faster, which explains why this post came about. I can't actually think of anything to write about so as a time-wasting gimmick here are some pictures I've taken over the past month with colour commentary that will hopefully take about an hour to type out. Once the download is completed, I am gone, regardless if I'm mid-sentence. You have been warned.

Ready, set, go!

Protest! at the City: part 1

I've asked a lot of people from different religious backgrounds to explain it to me but countless hours of questions, confusion and "I don't know! What kind of a question is that anyway?!" endings later and I'm still not exactly sure what is so damn bad about the Falun Gong movement. Is it a cult? The Christians, Buddhists and Agnostics mostly answer with a resolute, "YES" while the Smart-Asses go, "aren't all religions a cult technically?". Five bucks says that these smart asses are the seminally smug, totally pretentious douchebaggy students in lectures who answers "it depends on what your definition of _______ is" to every question raised by the lecturers. You know the kind. They exist everywhere without geographical borders often occupying the left-mid-front seat in the lecture hall.

Protest! at the City: part 2

But back to my original point. Google led me to a bunch of news articles that were first hand reports of ex-Falun Gong followers who had quit the group after inflicting grevious body harm on themselves. Apparently third degree burns have the ability to make people come to their senses regarding dodgy 'spiritual' groups. A quick check revealed that the news articles were from the national Chinese media, so that was that.

Protest! at the City: part 3

Then finally I came across a journal article by a British scholar that I assumed was fairly unbias and it was a good read. Except I forgot most of it now, which is highly embarassing but in my defense the exam material had to take priority, right? Anyway, one point that stood out was that since the Chinese government was a strict Communist regime, the development of a group that would challenge it's ideals and core beliefs would pose as a threat to keeping the citizens under control. If that makes any sense.

Oh gosh, the download is done. Kthxbai!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


- I got a forwarded email from my brother, the "Ashley killed herself because Jack deserted her, and although this has no connection, if you don't pass it on you will die ARRRR!" kind. And because I know my brother, I am pretty damn sure that he passed it on, not under any spam or entertainment pretenses, but because he, all 6'1'' 96kg of Jon Wong, is afraid that the virtual spirit of Ashley whatshername will come to kill him should the nontangible, nonphysical, nonharmable spirit find out that among the wide WIDE space of the interwebs the mail remained unforwarded seating in his inbox . I call, WUSS, and rest my proverbial case.

- From this week onwards to whenever I fancy a change my resolution is to read more and lie less. In Hell, right next to the people who speak in theatres are the people who lie to missionaries, I'm willing to venture. And by read more, I mean not read Stephen King's 'IT' for the eighth time.

- The weather forecast on my browser is so damn honest, that although the temperature outside is 8 Celsius, it states that it "feels like: 4 Celsius". I don't know which is scarier, the fact that the weather forecaster is more honest than me or that it can 'feel'. Hmm.

- I'm looking forward to going back to Malaysia because finally will I be then be reunited with my Coldplay albums, and my Baseketball DVD. The awesome, delicious food that I used to dream about and salivate over no longer really holds much temptation since I discovered I was allergic to eggs. So really, apart from the benefit of meeting up with old friends and family, the only other perk to going back to Malaysia is the pirated DVDs.

- What ever happened to my Zwan CD? It's not still I start humming the chorus of 'Honestly' that I remember that it's been lost, caught somewhere in the black hole of living and constantly travelling between two places, since 2004. Or maybe it fell behind my desk at home. I'll make it a point to check.

- My life is a string of cliches as much as it pains me to admit; working a McJob, the addicted-to-gambling, glasses-wearing Asian, pop-culture obsessed teen, which is why there is no surprise that I'm experiencing the sophomore slump now. I'm thinking of taking next year off, do an internship and get some experience in the media field, solidify my passion for journalism and all that. But I don't think that'll sit too well with my parents. And deep down I know that journalism is something I've always wanted to do since I wrote my first diary entry at age eight (and I would proceed to tear it up in a fit of rage when I found out my sister was reading it three months later), but I second guess the choices I make much like, you've guessed it, any cliched fickle minded teen out there.

- And then I proceed to shit my metaphorical pants when I think of the competition in the industry and my less-than-savoury writing skills, which includes but is not limited to my penchant for hyphenating every-single-damn-word, and arbitrary use of commas and semi-colons.

- I think this is the most intimate post since gosh.. I can't remember. I sometimes think that I should build my blog around one theme, either be a movie/tv review type of blog or a pop-culture commentary one, because I get personal as often as a fat kid rejects cake, but then I remember that I started this as a log of things I thought about and weird stuff I found on the web, ya know, general life. Which unfortunately for you, the reader, is often knee deep in contemporary pop culture. Which reminds me..

- One drawback to going back to Malaysia this time around is the sucky movies premiering there as opposed to Australia. Waiting... and The Wedding Date? Seriously? SERIOUSLY???? That is NOT entertainment. That is just one desperate diner-style-Clerks-ripoff with Ryan Reynolds as the lead, which should say enough as it is, and another waste of film that should not be touched by anyone with a Y chromosome or lacking that, good sense. Those damn pirates better deliver quality fare or a bucket better be passed around for the collective tears of the movie-going public. Yeap, right here buddy.

- Don't tell my parents but the main reason why I'm going back a couple of days after my exam ends if because I want to catch Borat before I go back. This means you Jon, if you're reading this. In my defense I've been waiting for what feels like three lifetimes for the damn movie to premiere in Aus. I'm going to be obnoxious and pull rank and play the 'but I was making sexy time with Borat even before the term 'Jagshemash' entered the outer fringes of your vocabulary' card. While it may be ostentatious it is also true. So that is the reason why I've pushed back my 24th departure date to the 27th (you squeal and I'll make sure that is the only sound you ever make again, Jonny Boy).

Friday, November 10, 2006

"This one time we mated a bulldog and shih-tzu? We called it a bullshit"

I was walking home from Safeway just a while ago when an overwhelming sense of dread overcame by entire being. There and then, I knew something bad was going to happen, my gut telling me that I was heading for a mugging. While walking into the store I had been hit up by bums for change three times in total, one which I ignored and the other two which I declined to give change to. Did that have any part to play in the unexplainable feeling of dread? Maybe. The bums that asked for change were obviously friendly among themselves, a family almost. I reckon I'd be lucky to even wrap my palm into a fist against the four sons and eight friends should a mugging were to occur.

Which is why I chose to go out another exit, the dodgy back route, that would help me avoid the family but risk the possibility of bumping into a strung out junkie that might be hell bent on getting more cash. What I realized in the couple of months that I had avoided the dodgy back route was that a new and very garish looking pub had opened. So in place of junkies, the route is overfilled with pissed working-type people wearing slacks and button down tops. They're equally annoying but I'll take the drunk yuppies anyday, thankyouverymuch.

Which is why I feel this quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is especially
relevant now.

Arthur: All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world.
Slartibartfast: No, that's perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that.

According to IMDb's trivia page for H2G2, other actors that were considered for the role of Zaphod Beetlebrox, the President of the Universe played by Sam Rockwell, include Jim Carrey, Robert Downey Jr, Will Ferrell and Bill Murray. The first two would have gotten the job done par excellence but the latter? Bill Murray owns the wry, sarcastic, wit-on-a-stick sthick, but he playing an almost-rockstar, seminally psychotic President in this time is just not going to cut it. Do not get me started on the abomination that would have been Will Ferrell as Bettlebrox.

On the other hand, other could-have-been Arthur Dent's include two Hughs, a Laurie and a Grant. They're both British, so the accent would have been perfect. One is slightly more famous than the other whereas the other has shown more diversity in his roles, although ito be fair to the other Huge, he can only play one type of character sincerely.

For some reason or another, lately whenever my mind is in wandering mode, this picture keeps coming to the forefront of my mind, thus causing me to explode into fits of giggles or sniggers that are highly inappropriate in any given situation.

I think I love this van so much that in effect, my love for the show is slightly skewed and totally biased. And when they trade in the van for the moped.. heh. I'm giggling all over again.
[while petting Petey, who's head has been taped back on by duct tape]
Blind Kid: Pretty bird. Can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird.
When I was nine that scene made me laugh every single damn time I watched the show, which by the way, was a lot. Click here to relieve some of the most quotable moments in Dumb and Dumber.

In line with Britney Spear's recent "Hey, you know what? I AM only twenty five,y'all" epiphany, the word Fed-Ex has reached new heights of public flaggelation and Jessica Simpson, if she hasn't realized already, will go back to gracing the back pages of US Weekly and People Magazine, and that's on the days that Paris, Lindsay, Britney, Christina, Gwen, Nicole, Larry, Moe and the other Stoodge is on a hiatus. I do pop culture regularly on my blog, not the celebrity type normally, but I do feel that someone needs to point out that should Britney continue the way she's going, Elizabeth Taylor's eight marriage record will cease to be impressive by the time Britney is forty. Not even twenty six and two failed marriages under her belt? A future record in the making, I'm calling it; you heard it here first.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

"It's liquid. It's courage. It's liquid courage."

I'm in a weird kind of mood right now. Much too energetic to sleep, too hyper to watch a movie or read a book but not too shameless to dance to Justin Timberlake's 'Damn Girl'. I blame it all on the Beastie Boys. Instant adrenaline rush, party of one. I've already terrorized people's Friendster pages, their email (my apologies, Charm) and logically I should go on MSN to use up the energy but I'm not really thinking coherent thoughts or typing real well now either. Thank you Microsoft Word for your spellcheck feature.

So here's a bunch of thoughts I've been pondering over.

- How do people who listen to their iPods or Discmans not bop their head to the music they're listening to? Especially when a real upbeat song comes along, how does one resist the urge to sing along/break out their inner funkmaster and throw down the phat moves? There is 6 billion plus people in the world and about 25 of them visit my blog regularly so I know I can't be the only one who feels that way. No, really. How do you sit still when The Go! Team starts playing or the guitar riff from AC/DC's 'Highway To Hell' comes on or when the "Ba-ba-ba" kicks in in Beach Boys' 'Barbara Ann'? God, should I ever have the Beatle's 'Twist and Shout' on any of my CDs you can bet I'm going to break out into a spazzy head-bopping-shoulder-swivelling-toe-tapping number of the worst kind.

Okay yeah. That's it. In retrospect, I should go and edit the "bunch of thoughts" to "thought" but I'm feeling pretty darn lazy and silly. So, to heck with it.

Fact #1: Young MC's 'Bust A Move' is the best song to end a night like this when you're feeling dance happy and shamefree. Awefreakinsome.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Things change

Somewhere between here,

The cutest baby born in a clinic ever

and here,

Totem pole style

i. Jon not only came to exist, but would grow to become a giant that towers over midget me.
ii. Lots, and I mean LOTS, of guys would come to be spellbound by Gill's charms.
iii. My eyesight would lose its 20/20 brilliance and keep deterioriating.

It's official. My eyesight just got worse.

If the subject of having babies in the future ever come up, between my totally awesome ezcema and equally as awesome potential blindness, don't raise an eyebrow when I say I'm going to adopt, m'kay?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Where is everyone?

No seriously. Where my peeps at? (Heh. I've always wanted to use that).

I was attending a co-worker's birthday party at a bar last weekend when amidst the smoke and the most atrocious techno soundtrack ever (I swear, they had it on repeat), it dawned on me that I have been working at the Golden Arches for exactly one year now. Normally, I'm not the kind of person who makes a big deal out of anniversaries and the like. I skipped out on blogging about my 100th blog post, I forgot about my mum's birthday this year (nice save, Gill), and I turned 19 while in transit from Costa Rica to Aus alone and away from family, save one friend; just the way I like it, no pomp and circumstance. But since I've been wanting to write this post forever, I shall use this occasion to blog and commemorate my one year at Mickey D's:-

How to conduct yourself when ordering at McDonald's
1. Always, ALWAYS state the size of the meal you want first when ordering. Having to ask a hundred fifty plus customers if they want that in small, medium or large takes up extra serving time and is annoying as hell. Go like this, "Can I have a s/m/l whatever-you-want, please?" We're silently thanking you.

2. Be polite to your server. Saying a casual "hey" and using your Ps and Qs while ordering give us a much better impression of you. Sounds simple enough but the amount of people who lack basic politeness is mind-boggling. If a mute customer can say thanks (true story), there is absolutely no excuse for all you other folks out there.

3. When ordering grills, that is either taking or putting extra ingredients in your food, be mindful that it will take a while, usually three minutes on average, longer if it's during rush period. You want something done fresh for you? No problem. Just don't wait for one minute and start bitching about how you've been waiting for ten. We're not dumb. We're looking out for you too, pal. Which leads me to my next point.

4. If your food is taking extra long to come over, please don't start screaming at us for being lazy and stupid. We, the front counter servers are just that; in charge of the front counter. We don't deal with the back crew or food preparation. We don't know why it's taking two extra minutes to get your fresh Quarter Pounder over. Yelling at us and accusing us of not doing our jobs is only going to achieve the goal of making you look like a total ass. But if you ask nicely we can go check it for you, and not just run to the back and start bitching about you.

5. People tend to associate people who work at fast food joints as slack-jawed yokels who can't tell their thumbs from their asses. Most of us are just students who couldn't be bothered finding a better job cause we love the people and friends we work with. If we ask you to repeat your order, don't roll your eyes and call us incompetent. We're only asking cause you were being a dick and mumbling/rattling off your order to begin with. This especially applies to people who order grills. Why give us the stink-eye? We just want to make sure we get your order right so we don't have to deal with you coming back to rant about how you wanted no pickles, not no onions on your Quarter.

6. If you have a problem with the server, whatever you do, do not start yelling and cursing at your server. It makes you look like a total douche, and we will blackmark you, especially if you're a regular. Hell, I guarantee even the guy behind you in line thinks you're a total douche. Take it up with the manager and explain in a calm manner what the server did wrong. We will actually take your complain seriously and take action regarding the server, and not just lable you a 'Bitchy McDoucheBagCustomer' and pawn off the service to the newbie the next time you come in.

7. This is for the tourists or the out-of-state folks. Don't lament to us how your country/Macca's does it better. We don't really care. I'm sorry if we don't carry frozen cokes or an extra large cheeseburger duo meal, but you pestering us why there isn't one on the menu isn't exactly going to make it magically appear okay, bud? And for fucks' sake, we don't carry beer! Not one store in the world does, you blind drunk!

8. Flush the damn toilet. You use it, you flush it. It's not fair that anyone else has to deal with your shit (literally), especially the person who is on dining room duty.

9. If you spill something, please do us a favour and tell us that you did. Often during rush, we won't have the time to do a dining room check so we won't find out about the spill till much later. By telling us you're ensuring that we get on it pronto and therefore you and the other patrons can enjoy your meal in as close to cleanliness as Macca's gets.

10. Don't ask us if it's true if our milkshake is made with pigfat. WE DON'T KNOW. Neither do we know if there are any hooves in our beef patties or if our burgers are a diabetic's nightmare. We just serve, m'kay? We weren't briefed about the ingredients in our food during training. And honestly if you thought that was remotely true at all, why are you still ordering food here?

11. Please realize that McCafe isn't Starbucks. For one, we're cheaper. Also, we don't serve any of those Free Trade beans and play lounge music for our customers. But mostly, we don't carry chai drinks. So stop giving me the ol' stink-eye when I tell you that we don't have a chai latte. We're not the Bucks, m'kay!

And just for fun, here's a list of some of the people I've had the chance to encounter during my time at Macca's.

- Bitchy McDoucheBagCustomer who screamed at me for forgetting her happy meal toy. She really brought it all out; the ranting, the pointing, the crazy eyes. Too bad this list wasn't written up yet or I would have pointed out rule number six. To top it all off she's a regular. And everybody hates her. Just this weekend she yelled out at a newbie, one of the better ones infact, for some insignificant reason. Isn't she just lovely?

- A really creepy old guy who went asked what he wanted to order replied, "I like looking at girls" in the lewdest tone I have ever heard. My reply? "Uh huh. Great." Then I went to the back to hide out until he went away. Thank god I don't work nights anymore.

- A guy who I was serving passed out when I had my back turned to get the drink. When I turn back to get the money, I was like "Where did he go?" until I looked on the floor. His friend with him was like, "Where did... oh wow." See folks, dehyration is bad m'kay? Drink up during summer please so you won't scare your friendly Macca's server.

- When I went to do a bathroom check I saw a couple walking out of the females bathroom, and they had that look, the "I just got laid" look, so bad that I think the little single cell creatures in Mars got it. At what point does a bathroom, and not just any but a McDonald's bathroom, scream 'romantic'?? Is it the harsh fluorescent lighting, or the vomit-coloured tiles on the wall? No really, someone enlighten me please?

- I've blogged about this before but I'll bring it up again cause she was one for the books. At McCafe, a customer asked for her cappucinos to be extra hot. We heated the milk up to 75 Celsius. She said it wasn't hot enough. We heat it up to 90, and the lady still wasn't happy. Seriously, I still maintain her tongue has gone bad. Ninety freakin' Celsius. We've got people coming to tell us that 60 is too hot as it is. Crazy nut..

- And though this isn't really one for the crazy customers book, I just had to add this in. A customer comes in and asks for thirteen sugars in her coffee. I try not to pass judgement especially cause she's nice and all, but when she added one more "for the road", I couldn't help it anymore. That's fourteen sachets of white sugar in all. Lady, diabetes is on the rise in Australia and being a diabetic does not quite mean that you're 'sweet as sugar', m'kay?

- This one time I headed upstairs to do a bathroom check, I saw a girl collapsed on the stairway. She couldn't speak English very well but when my manager was dealing with her, she let out that she hadn't eaten anything all day and her stomach was in pain. See kids, extreme dieting is bad, m'kay? Those acids in your stomach will retaliate if they don't got nothing to chew on.

- And then another time a male customer comes down from the bathroom and in a really wigged out tone tells us that there is a guy who was dead in the male bathrooms. Apparently he wasn't moving and hadn't moved at all in over an hour. We find out later that he's just another druggie stoned out of his mind who had shot up in our bathroom. See guys, drugs are bad m'kay? Man. I should stop doing that but I've got Mr Mackay on my mind. Damn South Park!

- One night while training, I was teaching a newbie how to serve and get everything. When I ask the customer how he would like to pay he tells me that it's rude to cut in and that he was carrying on the transaction with the newbie. I took it all in stride and went, "alright then." Of course he couldn't leave it be, and had to get the one up, so while waiting for the newbie to get his food he starts lecturing me about how he's a corporate executive at McDonald's and how he should get me fired for being so rude. I gave him my full name and Macca's ID no and told him to get right to it. Look mate, rule number one. If you're going to threaten people, don't overreach alright? I'll say it again, people who work at Macca's are not dumb. Corporate exec, you say? For starters, I don't think corporate execs look like aging rockers who never quite saw their hey day, and also, the exec types tend to at least say hie to the managers when they come in, ya moron. Up yours, dude.

- A family of four comes in and youngest kid throws a tantrum cause his dad didn't allow him to get a Happy Meal. The dad responds by slapping the kid HARD on the face. While the kid goes suddenly quiet, everyone around the family stopped and stared. To which the father oh-so-eloquently replied with a, "Fuck you c--ts". How charming.

I'm not even going to get started on the regulars. Most of them are nice, but still weird in their own way. That's another story for another day.


On a side note, I know how to play roulette now. Oh, Crown Casino, we are on! Also, while walking down the street and (not) admiring Melbourne City Council's attempts at reminding us it is spring, hail and cold winds be damned (re: picture above), I thought up the most useless superpower in the world. Imagine this tagline:

"Super Billy! Now with the superhuman power to watch paint dry!"

Yeap. Worst superpower in the world in my books.

And remember this folks: 4 seconds. That is the time it takes for the novelty of walking in hail to wear off. Trust me on that one.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The 'Heroes' Drinking Game

+ 1 shot for everytime Peter Petrelli pushes back his hair from his face.
+ 1 shots for everytime Claire shows up on screen with her cheerleader uniform.
+ 2 shots for everytime any male cast member show up on screen shirtless.
+ 1 extra if it's Milo Ventimiglia. (Yo, how you doing, bud?)
+ 1 shot for everytime you go "WHOAAAAAA" at the products of the special effects team.
+ 1 shot for everytime you balls out laugh at the hideous wooden-ness of the dialogue.
+ 3 extra for the scene where Peter goes "I have been in love with you from the moment I met you" to Simone. Ugh. Shiver me timbers.. and not in the good way.
+ 2 shots for everytime any of the heroes cross in a scene and that whoosh sound effect is used.
+ 1 shot and a "WOOT!!" whenever Hiro comes on screen.

By the end of the episode, if you weren't having a good time already, I can bet there'll be the silliest looking grin on your face. 100% guaranteed, or your money back*.

*alcohol not included.

Thursday, October 26, 2006


The longer you go without updating your blog, the less you feel like actually doing it when you have the spare time, no?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Super Hiro

Heroes is freaking awesome. The new show that premiered during the US Fall season '06 on NBC is growing from strength to strength. It's being touted as the 'new Lost', which I disagree with mainly cause Lost was overrated and then some. Yeah, both shows have quite a huge ensemble, cliffhanger endings in each episode and a fair racial representation (re: Asians) but the buck stops there. The major difference being that while Lost quickly outgrew it's pre-island flashback style of exposition, every single character's arc in Heroes will eventually meld together to drive the story home.

Heroes is about a bunch of ordinary people suddenly discovering powers that didn't exist before. X-Men ripoff you say? Not quite. While there is the obvious similarity of ordinary humans finding out they're actually extraordinary, Heroes seems to put the idea of the development of a superior gene in the context of biology; natural selection and the possibilities of the other 90%++ of the brainspace we don't use. Also, there aren't any spanky yellow leotards or leather uniforms let alone an established "School for the Gifted". It's really about people coming to terms with their new power. Everyone is confused and/or continues to swim in the waters of De Nial, except one, Hiro, who hilariously embraces his power and new identity all too willingly. Seriously, every female viewer wants to make him her pet right now.

Why I think it will pay off unlike the gradual suckfest that is Lost? At the end of the pilot, it is revealed that there will be a nuclear explosion in a month's time. How many ways can you say dum dum dummm? The time constraint really amps up the tension throughout the season, especially as characters start to figure out that they're not alone and the prowess of the supervillian and other freelance agents is added into the equation. The Lost writers on the other hand hadn't even worked out season one's arc after the pilot went to air. I started watching because of Milo Ventimiglia, who by the way, has the gayest hair on network TV right now, but after the pilot I realize that even if he wasn't around I'd still be going apeshit over it. So do yourself a huge favour and start watching it. This is going to be awesome TV.

Also, the Amazing Race Asia is set to premier on Nov 9 on AXN. From what I gather on the site, there is a team from Sri Lanka, India, Singapore, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Thailand and two teams from Phillipines and Malaysia each. Things that are particularly noteworthy:

- The Phillos are going crazy on the boards with national pride. No really.. their intensity is quite scary. In particular this user, "lexz06".
- The team from Thailand is made up of two Anglo-Saxons. Naturally, there's a huge debate going on in the forums on what constitutes an 'Asian' dude and I think the Thailand community is particularly torn about the race issue.
- There isn't the obligatory gay team that you see in the US version.
- There also isn't the obligatory septogenarian team. Heck, the oldest participant is merely 42!
- Of the twenty people participating, four of them lists 'model' as their profession. Heh. Guess they retained some things from the US version.
- So far people seem to be supporting based on national lines. It will be interesting to see if how that changes, if it does, once the season gets started and teams get eliminated.

That is all.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Things I have been up to of late:

The post I wrote up yesterday got deleted somehow and didn't get published. I'm trying to recall what I said there. Here's a rough summary, because I couldn't be arsed to put the proper links in and all that.

[/edit]: Erm.. it came through afterall. My bad. Also I finally finished season 1 of Lost. Daniel, the recapper on TWoP ends season 1 with this; "
If they get down that hatch and there's somebody at the bottom named Rambaldi, I'm done." Heh. Oh JJ Abrams, how you have scarred us all.

So, if you haven't noticed it already, I was very, very, majorly against remaking
Infernal Affairs. Since I found out there were even talks of it in the works, the alarm bells went on full psychotic alert and have stayed on since. So finally watching The Departed is a big deal to me, not cause that's an indication of my unhealthy tendencies to get too attached to movies/TV series and the like, but cause I wanted to laugh in Hollywood's face and give it a smug one finger salute when it turned out to be an absolute suckfest thus proving the theory that remakes, especially of really excellent films to start with, are unnecessary with the emphasis on the UN-. Boy, that was a type-ful.

The way I see it, the general critic/viewer will fall into a number of categories which will subsequently affect what they thought of the movie.

Type A viewers are the ones who went into the The Departed without watching the original Hong Kong flick. They might have heard about the huge furore regarding the remake, but either due to apathy, inability to get their hands on Infernal Affairs, or refusal to watch a movie with subtitles (what the fuck, right?) they go into the movie with little or no prior knowledge of the original. These are the viewers who most likely will come out raving about the movie going on about how it was a masterpiece and the best cinematic experience of 2006. You can smell their obnoxious "Fuck the original, this movie is the shizz, yo" stench from three forum boards away.

Type B is made up of the Scorsese fanboys. These are the people who have been following Scorsese from the start and feel a particular affinity towards the remake because, and this is not limited to, general obnoxiousness and their need to validate their "Scorsese is the best director in the world" claim. Their obnoxiousness can be explained by the fact that their self-esteem have been torn to shreds and withered since Gangs of New York. Type B viewers can be seen trolling online forums telling anyone and everyone that Scorsese "better be clearing his mantlepiece for Oscar" next year. For better or worse, most critics seem to fall into this category.

Type C is best seen here. They are the ones who were completely enamoured by the original and were vehemently opposed to the remake. Regardless of whichever god they believe in and worship, Roy Lee is commonly acknowledged as the devil that needs to be purged from society, STAT. They are obnoxiously waving their "Y'all nOObz ain't got nothin' on the original" flag in everyone's faces. Depressed and to afraid to end your own life? Just casually mention how you preferred the remake and in seconds, dude, we're talking a bloodbath massacre of epic proportions.

Type D, my favourite kind, has this to say when questioned about the The Departed vs Infernal Affairs debate; [in the most obnoxious voice ever] "Who the fuck cares? TRANSFORMERS IS GOING TO TRUMP EVERYONE'S ASSES." -cue loud cricket noises in the background-

Right. No takers for guessing which type I am? Which is why it kills me to say this,
yeah.. The Departed wasn't too damn bad. Oh my street cred.. what's going to happen to us now?


Fuck me but I'll admit that as adamantly against as I was towards to remake, it kinda impressed this cynic. The performance by the two leads, Leo DiCaprio and Matt Damon, in particular really blew me away. The last DiCaprio flick I watched was Romeo + Juliet, so I had no idea his talent grew exponentially throughout the years. I mean he almost does justice to Tony 'The fucking Man' Leung! And Matt Damon, who I associate most with Team America's caricature, "Mattt Damoooonn", completely floored me. When he was in suave mode, I was all "[Joey Tribbiani] Yo, how you doing?", and he actually held his ground against DiCaprio throughout the tense moments near the end. Not bad for a guy who I previously thought was about as talented as Ben Affleck (Oh dear god, please let this not mean that I have to change my opinion about Ben 'for crissakes, it's Ben frickin' Affleck' Affleck).

The only other thing noteworthy was the decision to merge the girlfriend and therapist in IA into one singular role in TD. I've always thought the female characters were the weakest link in an otherwise solid classic so creating one female lead who served both purposes was the best thing TD brought to the remake. At first I agreed with Ad when she mentioned about Madolyn's non-reservations regarding sex outside her relationship (re: Meredith Grey-type slutty behaviour), but after ruminating about it, I realized if both Costigan and Sullivan managed to charmed my cynical ass off, who's to say it couldn't happen to her too.

Apart from those two points, the remake was as a whole, subpar to the original. The plot to IA had a certain poetry to it, the idea of Karma, purgatory, Hell, the philosophical subtexts of good and evil were portrayed better in the characters of Ming and Yan. There was a lot of emphasis placed on the idea of being a cop and subsequently, what it meant to Yan (Tony Leung, the 'good' mole). This is especially evident in the scene where Yan gets reprimanded by the Superintendant for acting like a gangster and he yells out his own inner conflict between remaining the farce and keeping the faith. In Costigan, Yan's Western reincarnation, he wanted an identity. I understood that he wanted to escape his family's past identity of the Irish mob business, and his goals of being a cop, but his lack of wanting to a future that was so abstract detracted from the full impact of his death.

In the original, Ming (Andy Lau aka the 'bad' mole) as well struggles with the idea of good and bad. He may have started out a mole but by the end it becomes pretty clear that he yearns to be the good guy. I might be reading too much but the flashbacks to their police training days especially signified how his desire to be a mole was more a matter of fate playing her hand than intentional. The scene where he shoots Eric Tsang's character, the triad boss, in that shit-inducing climax was where he made the choice between good and evil. Had Yan not find out his true nature he would have gone on living an exemplary lifestyle, discarding of his ties with the triad and being a good cop. With Sullivan, I got the feeling that he wasn't motivated by this good/bad conundrum. It seemed like his main motivation was himself. He killed Connelly because he was getting out of hand and not listening to him, he wanted to protect himself so he shot the second mole, basically all that he does is for self-promotion. Or at least that's what I got from it. Which isn't to say that this interpretation made for a shit remake, just that Infernal Affairs had more contextual meaning, and thus, oomph. Ya know, that wow factor.

I'm getting tired of comparing the two and I'm only halfway through, so I'll just write up the rest of it in this simplistic and totally obnoxious manner which I should start using more because I love;

25 minutes of the Exposition Fairy at the beginning before the title came on = UNnecessary.
Dingham, Mark Wahlberg = UNnecessary = way to perfect a stocktype 'bad' cop = Doogie McDoucheBag.
Connelly = FBI Informant =WTF? UNnecessary plot point.
Connelly = Jack Nicholson = Something's Gotta Give = hospital robes = heh.
Cousin Sean = Kevin Corrigan from Grounded For Life = coolest uncle on TV = I knew he looked familiar!
Boston accents = much love = well done from all cast with exception of Doogie McDoucheBag.

And just to sell the whole thing home;

Tony Leung >> Leo DiCaprio
Andy Lau = Matt Damon
Anthony Wong >>>>>>>> Martin Sheen. He sold the father figure so much better. And the death scene? No contest.
Doogie McDoucheBag = Will he ever outgrow the days of Marky Mark? Not as long as VH1 or YouTube lives on, says a giggling Karen.

I also watched Little Miss Sunshine with AdLee, but then I fell asleep halfway through which actually does not say a lot about the film. I fall asleep everywhere, whenever.

As expected, The Departed jacked up the amount of violence and sex in the remake. However it didn't quite suck as bad as I wanted and expected it to. I wonder if Tony Leung is sitting somewhere in Hong Kong going, "Sei gwai lo! Wo ho seong sat sei Doogie McDoucheBag. Tiu lah.. gam cha tho ho yi?!"

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Some things that I have been doing of late

- It took approximately seven years off my life, but it is finally completed. Everybody, here's three reasons why Popular is one of my most favourite TV series of all time:

  • Mary Cherry. Sure, the WB have churned out pretty craptastic teen shows like Dawson's "I whine because I need to live" Creek, and god.. don't get me started on the unholy abomination that is 7th Heaven, but thanks to them, Mary Cherry, the single most genuis character ever created in any teen series, came to be and for that (and I suppose BuffytVs) I can never truly loathe the WB.
  • Popular is a satire. I like satires. Hence, I really, really like Popular.
  • Mary Cherry: [after being shown a cheer routine] "Do we have to do those splits? I'm a Christian". Imagine the most horrible, hackneyed Texan accent you can think of and apply it to this blonde woman, who is so obviously anything but a teen. That is just the surface of the genius behind the character of Mary Cherry.

- Watching Popular. That much didn't need to be said, right?

- Also, while traversing online sites, I read a little tidbit that Nathan Fillion of and ugh.. Slither, FireflyTwo Guys and a Girl fame will be appearing on Lost. Now more than ever I'm motivated to watch that crazy show with the curiously expanding cast. Here's the link; Spoilers: Nathan Fillion on Lost. How scandalous!

- In a bid to catch up on Lost, I have been reading the Television Without Pity recaps and I just have to say that the recaps are a heck lot more interesting than the episodes themselves. I stopped watching the show at season one, episode 4 due to utter disinterest so if you can't tell already, I've got a long way to go before I'm at season three and on par with the rest of the world. Through reading the recaps I am up to episode 16. So far I have found out that Hurley's name is actually Hugo, Sun can speak English, Boone and Shannon are step-siblings. I never knew all that! The actual episodes are probably more tension-filled and prettier to look at, but the recaps make me laugh regularly, which is something I think the actual episodes cannot accomplish. I particularly love the fact that anytime there is a fight between the Alpha males of the group, TWoP recaps that couple of minutes with these five simple letters: "chaos".

- For those of you who grew up watching Boy Meets World, Rider Strong guest stars in the second episode of Veronica Mars. As someone who grew up with a crush on him while watching BMW on Disney, it was very satisfying to go "OMIGODZ! Rider Strong is guesting on VM!! I didn't know he was still acting!!!" when I saw him appear on screen. Oh, all right, I kinda went more like this: "Rider Strong?!!?! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". Click here to see little Shawn Hunter all grown up. Don't get me wrong, I still hate MySpace, but it definitely has it's uses.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I'm happy because I'm stupid

So obviously the people who visit this blog do not enjoy clicking on links. Or there are no words to be said about the kick-awesomeness that is the Muppet's manahnanah song? Huh. Duly noted. Maybe I should have embedded the YouTube video so you lazy arses can just click the little play button? Nyeh. Too little, too late.

Two new links on the sidebar;
i. Waiterrant is a regularly updated site where an anonymous waiter/manager of an anonymous upscale restaurant in an anonymous state in the USA writes about life in the food and beverage and service industry. Very insightful, especially if you want to understand the tipping culture in the States. Also, more reason why yuppie-types are the bane of the working middle-class of the world.

ii. Barista Brat works at Starbucks somewhere in the US. Since working at McCafe seems very similar to working at Starbucks (at least according to her descriptions), her rants totally speak to my soul. Like, absolutely. From the corporate thought-process to the hatred expressed towards all things ice-blended (it's a general consensus that everybody f'ing hates frappucinos) this blog needs to be read by every coffee-drinking maniac out there. Those maniacs need to understand that a decent level of politeness needs to be maintained and practiced regardless if their caffiene levels are reaching new levels of low. Also, if you don't do this already, please, for fucks' sake, shut your mobile off when you're making an order. There's really nothing more annoying than people who cannot give you 10 seconds of their life to ensure they make the correct order. Except maybe yuppies who hang on to their mobile like their life depended on it. Yeap, everybody's hating on yuppies.


With PCWorld just about going apeshit crazy with the news of Google purchasing YouTube just this week, it boggles my wee little mind to think that just thirteen months ago the concept of sharing videos online was pretty much like Mandarin to me, that is to say, pretty damn incomprehensible. It's hard to imagine how any of us non-WoW/DOtA/omgwtf/stfun00b playing people killed our precious down time in the days before July 2005. I think in the days before YouTube, I spent a lot of time honing my sweet Freecell skills. Unfortunately now I pretty much only break out those skillZ while waiting for something on YouTube to load.

Well, to commemorate the birth of four other billionaires in the world and Google's successful step in eventually taking over the online and offline world, here's a little something that perfectly encapsulates the bulk of the YouTube videos available online; wild crazy dancing by some whiteass kids.

Except this is wild, crazy dancing of the best kind. Treadmills have never been put to better use, this gym hater exclaims. That's right, people. It's the videoclip that launched the career of otherwise slightly-better-than-average band, OK Go!

Everyone's seen it by now, but it doesn't hurt to give it another go, eh? Plus, it's embedded now for chrissake's. Seriously, just how lazy are you?!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Today in history

I use the expletive 'motherf---ker' or other forms of it, which I find horrendously rude, even surpassing the likes of c--t, approximately 6 times. In public.
eg., "Motherf---king over-caffienated yuppie wankers."
"Motherf---king over-caffienated senior wankers."
"Motherf---king over-caffienated teenage wankers."
You get my drift. Today was not a good day.


See, I can write short updates too.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


#1. I don't know if you guys have seen it around on the web, but those (usually) banner advertisements for the "next generation of smileys", the talking, animated ones? Ugh. The future for the next generation looks bleaker than the onslaught of global warming in year 2007 if theirs is a time of silent ringtones and talking smileys.

#2. As a PC user, I don't think I am particularly against Apple Mac-tops especially when compared with other psycho Anti-Macs flag wavers. Sure, I rib on friends who use them, but then even without the Mac factor, there's plenty ribbing ammo about -cough-. Their Get a Mac ads sure did push me over the edge though. It's supposed to be funny, and jokey, very "Ha ha.. We're so young and hip, we've enlisted Justin Long to be our spokesperson whereas PC's got an old guy with a dowdy looking suit and even dowdier looking glasses." But when your spokesperson looks like he'd be having a better time having his brains siphoned out through his nose and his balls through his asscrack, you know the campaign isn't quite going to be the raging success you imagined. Get over your presumptous self Mr Jobs. The only reason why Macs are remotely relevant to people not in Hollywood and people with too much cash to spare, is because Windows now run on it.

#3. I've watched it twice more than necessary to find the appeal. And after watching the theatrical cut once, the director's cut twice, and trolling too damn many forums, I feel more than assured in making the claim, indie cred be damned, that Donnie Darko is the most overrated movie this side of the millenium. "But shallow bimbos like you don't get the true meaning to it all", you may argue. I have never met anyone who has been able to easily describe the 'true meaning' of DD, and while fanboys may venture the claim that it's Richard Kelly's take on existentialism or the modern day Macbeth at work, I call overarching geeks who want to make themselves believe that it meant something other than an excuse for cinematic escapism in the grand scheme of their lives. I should know, I'm usually one of them. Which brings me to my point and here it is; Donnie Darko Collector's Edition = completely unwarranted.

And in line with the new fall season in US, I have decided to give my very own limited two cents about the shows that are premiering/premiered over there. Mostly because I haven't talked TV in a long while, and you just know I always have something to say about everything. Stop reading -here- for those who don't really care. It's going to be a long one, you have been warned.

- Scrubs: Season 6 (NBC)
I have read heaps about how this might be the last season of Zach Braff cause he wants to pursue a film career. Whether the news is official, I'm not sure. If ZB does choose to quit the show, I hope they kill it because as much as I love the hallowed halls of Sacred Heart, I'd rather risk the death of the original show then see it mutilated and blasphemy-sized ala That 70's Show. I alternate between thinking ZB is getting a little too big for his britches, wanting out on the show that launched his career, and understanding his need to bank in on his current 'it-boy' status, especially since he passed the 3-0 mark recently. Personally I think a career in TV isn't as bad as it seems, look at John Ritter I say. But then I am not an actor and John Ritter only had a seminally successful movie career.
Pros: the musical episode + the return of the Janitor and the Todd. "Air five!"
Cons: this might be the last season of Scrubs.

- My Name is Earl: Season 2 (NBC)
The show is formulaic, very inconsistent with the laughs and season one ended without a cliffhanger so there is no apparent reason why people should come back to it. Yet it is also wildly successful and has Jamie Pressly playing the role of the redneck hussy with utmost conviction so the people will come flocking in for them no doubt. MNiE is a funny sort of show, I find. Like I said before, I go through episodes without so much as a smirk, before I come across a gem of a bellyaching laughter inducing moment. Also, Earl a supposed poor redneck do-gooder wears jeans that certainly don't look like they came from the aisles of K-Mart. The formula of 'Earl striking something off his list' can only sustain a show for so long so it's interesting what season two will bring to the plate (please say more guest star action from Giovanni Ribisi). But then again CSI spawned two other installments with their 'gross crime, quick! Crime scene investigators to the batmobile!' formula so MNiE could be around for much much longer.
Pros: The cast. They all work together and bring this irresistable energy to the show that makes you keep tuning in for more. And "oh, snap!" is probably the catchword of 2006.
Cons: What happens when Earl runs out of things to fix in his little list? Or better yet, he runs out of money first? So these are not really cons but I just had to wonder.

- The Office: Season 3 (NBC)
I haven't followed this since season 1, but watching the snippets of the story of Pam and Jim on YouTube made me fall in line with the Jam shippers. Personally it's all about them man. And Dwight. All about the Dwight, man. Steve Carell may have the obnoxious, unfunny boss down, but David Brent remains a legend to beat. According to the recaps I've read, season 3 started out with Jim moving to a new branch, Pam breaking off her engagement with her fiance and Steve Carell caught in between two women or something to that effect. Dammit, I need to catch up on this show. Too many downloads not enough memory space.
Pros: Jam = <3. style="font-weight: bold;">Cons
: Jam = world's worst shipper name.

- Desperate Housewives: Season 3 (ABC).
Yeah. Right.
Pros: Who the hell cares besides my mum?
Cons: Having to see Teri Hatcher's face plastered in promotional advertisements that trickle down from the US media to Australia.

- Grey's Anatomy: Season 3 (ABC)
Although it's really just a soap opera in scrubs, it's got me, hook, line and sinker. Ad already discussed some of her thoughts on GA over at her blog (re: links) so there isn't much to say. Except this; Shonda Rimes is f-ing brilliant. We're still watching even though Mer is despised by pretty much everyone and Derek is the biggest douchebag this side of network TV. And their supposed to be the leads.
Pros: The return of the Nazi and Addison Sheppard. And here's hoping that Mer and Derek die a fiery death while making out in the furnace room of the hospital.
Cons: More Mer and Derek angst. So. Over. That.

- CSI: Oh god. Please not another season (CBS, I think)
No really. Why is this still successful??????
Pros: none
Cons: formulaic TV at it's pinnacle.

- Lost: ? (FOX)
I never quite caught up with the craze. Past season 1, episode 1, I stopped following it. But had I access to the series now, I would contemplate watching it. If only because Rodrigo Santoro of 'pretty boy Laura Linney was in love in Love Actually' fame is set to become a regular in it. Don't ask me how more people are being added to the cast on a series that is set in a supposed deserted, unfindable island. I'm still trying to work out how Matthew Fox kept his hair that buzz-cut length for two seasons plus and running.
Pros: Rodrigo Santoro
Cons: I hear it jumped the shark many moons ago. Oh JJ Abrams, you lost me at Alias season two.

- The OC: season 4? (FOX)
Mischa Barton was undoubtedly the weakest link in a series that stars Adam 'One Trick Pony' Brody and that never quite recaptured the glory days of season one. I haven't watched this show regularly since Death Cab played at The Bait Shop and I have very little idea about what's going on. Julie ended up with Summer's dad, I think, and Ryan is off the UC Berkeley or something equally prestigious. As is Summer? But Seth turned into a pot-smoking stoner and failed his admissions interview? Oh those crazy Orange County kids. I would watch this just to see if The OC post-Mischa 'Walking Stick' Barton is any better than the subpar series it was in season two and three.
Pros: No more "Pause. Raise eyebrows. Flip hair. Smile/Frown/Smirk/Cry" school of acting from Mischa Barton.
Cons: Having killed off the only cast member who was remotely anywhere the age of the character, Josh Schwartz is going to have a hard time selling Ben McKenzie as anything but 24 at the very least. And that's not counting the moments when Ryan Atwood is sure to relapse into his bad boy ways and spout a beard to boot.

- Smallville: ? (The CW)
Everyone is kind of over Kristin Kreuk's beauty so why is this still going?
Pros: IceTwin aka Aaron Ashmore is becoming a series regular.
Cons: Even he couldn't save the show that unbelievably outlasted Roswell.

- Gilmore Girls: Season 7 (The CW)
Has GG lost it's mojo now that the Palladinos have left? Everybody wants to know.
Pros: No more Logan Huntzberger. YESSSSSSSS! Marty the naked guy is set for a return as well.
Cons: Luke/Lorelai/Chris = oh my god, enough already. I love you Lorelai but stop falling back on Chris every damn time you're in need of someone to scratch your back.

- One Tree Hill: ? (The CW)
How these kids are not in college yet? I have no idea. Theirs is the 'teen' series with the highest age average when the age of the actors and actresses are calculated across the board.
Pros: Launching the career of Sophia Bush.
Cons: Sophia Bush making career choices like John Tucker Must Die.

- Supernatural: ? (The CW)
I only know that Danny Ducat (sp?) from GA plays the father of the two pretty boys so I'm tempted to give this show a shot.
Pros: The actor who played Danny Ducat, who is apparently going to be the lead in a new series by Shonda Rhimes.
Cons: The actor who played Danny Ducat playing a father to two early-twenties sons. Talk about a fantasy killjoy.

- Veronica Mars: Season 3 (The CW)
I want to be optimistic and hope that the pilot lite episode of episode one, season three will pull in the masses. Come on citizens of the US, do your bit for good TV shows and watch VM! But realistically, I have a feeling they won't live past the 13 episodes CW bought for this season. Pilot lite to me was only slightly above average. It definitely didn't have the bang of the original pilot. And I do not understand how Rob Thomas is going to work three mysteries into one season. I've thought about it too much and still can't work it out. But I'm brimming with faith. He hasn't disappoint yet and Michael Muhney and Francis Capra has yet to appear in season 3 so there is still hope to bank on. I'm honestly hoping that I'm proven wrong. Infact I hardly ever wanted to be proven wrong this badly. So yeah. Keeping the love (and LoVe) alive.
Pros: The new additions to the cast aren't completely annoying. And the remixed credits are so cool, and then some.
Cons: People don't like coming into a show when it's already in their third season. And networks don't like underperforming shows.

To end, here's a couple of reasons why you should watch Veronica Mars:
1. The lead is a hot, witty babe. Think Rory Gilmore with a million times more attitude and spunk if you will. Except Kristen Bell can act, whereas Alexis Bledel has and always been a student of the Mischa Barton school of acting.

2. The show has smarts and doesn't insult your intelligence with the stereotypical melodrama "will they or won't they? My parents suck ass and don't understand me" usually found in teen dramas.

3. If Lorelai and Rory Gilmore share the best mother/daughter relationship in the history, the Mars household owns the title of best father/daughter dynamics, which any teenage girl should know is harder to create.

4. Veronica's best friend of a different gender is not secretly harbouring a crush or in love with her. They prove the exception to the 'teenage girls and guys cannot be just friends'. Eat that every other teen show in the planet.

5. There are hot guys. Lots of hot guys. Like really smoking hot guys. Eg, the hottest law enforcer in the history of shows I have watched.

6. There are hot girls. Well, maybe not so much.. but they're smart hot girls.

7. Because if you can put up with yet another nonsensical tangent on Lost, I don't see why you should say no to a series that has many tangents, none of them nonsensical.

Don't be lazy. Get seasons one and two from me. Or download it. Or if you're in the US, tune in on Tuesday nights, right after Gilmore Girls on the CW. You won't regret it.

*It may sound like it but I was not actually paid by the CW to promote Veronica Mars. Just another fangirl in action. But oh, how I wish I was. There's heaps more where that came from.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Doop doop doop

1. 4 jobs I would stink at :
- Senior citizens carer. While I may like kids, I generally dislike old people. What can I say? Agist at heart.
- Accountant. Maths + me = disaster of epic proportions.
- Fashion consultant.
- Museum curator. "This is crap. Prehistoric crap. Modern crap. Absurdist crap. Crap crap crap."

2. 4 pretend nicknames I'm making up for myself:
- God
- Your Godliness
- Your supreme Godliness
- Your most regaled supreme Godliness

3. 4 movies I could watch over and over again without falling asleep:
To tell the truth, I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, regardless of whatever I'm doing or watching. Even if it's my most favourite show in the world. So this doesn't really apply to me. But just to fill up this list,
- Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels
- Dude, Where's My Car?
- Almost Famous
- Ghostbusters

4. 4 places I want to live in:
- A house/ Malaysia
- A converted warehouse/ Melbourne
- An apartment/ California
- A cottage/ Greek islands

5. 4 things I love to do during weekends:
- work
- yawn
- brush my hair
- pimp my ride

6. 4 things I couldn't live without:
- moisturizer
- oxygen
- water
- pop culture

7. 4 alcoholic beverages I've enjoyed:
- not Asian beer
- not Australian beer
- not Costa Rican beer (re: I hate beer)
- I lead the straight edge lifestyle. No smoking or drinking for me.

8. 4 favourite food:
- the edible kind
- without excessive colouring
- coloured potato chips are excluded of course
- as are fairy bread

9. 4 places I would rather be in right now:
- the year 1988
- the year 1990
- the year 1996
- the year 2017

10. 4 people I'm tagging:
- ze Chairman
- Mei Juin
- Soph
- Chen Chou. LOL.

Go crazy with the chiz-wiz, folks.


Just when all seemed lost...

Adeline strikes back!

And they say face painting are for kids.

Silly rabbit.. trix are for kids.

My friend called just only to squeal about his recent discovery of my age. I've known him close to a year now and all along he thought I was cruising at the age of 22. What the bleeping hell?! That's how old my sister was a year ago!

Friday, September 29, 2006

Why I hate birds, encore

Because besides the fact that they eye my food hungrily, savagely attack leftover food and fly into my head, they also have an uncanny way of aiming their droppings right at me. Some people go through life without a single bird dropping even within 5 kms of their aura let alone their physical being. As of now, 19 years and 9 months, I have had the good fortune of having bird droppings fall onto the back of my school uniform, the top of my head, my cheek, and as of today, my sweater. So when I tell you I'm afraid of birds, it's not just some attempt at quirky behaviour by way of Natalie Portman in Garden State. It's truly because I loathe them so and you know how it goes.. you hate the things you fear. Death to the obese chip-grabbing, shit-pooping seagulls and head-banging magpies of the world!

I suppose maybe the bird-dropping-on-my-sweater extragavanza was just another occasion in my run of bad luck today. I woke up late this morning, although that could be attributed to my laziness and inability to wake without snoozing the alarm. Also I lost my tram ticket at the Showgrounds. I thought I could test out the 'bird shit on you equals to good luck' theory and hop on the tram illegally to go home but when I turned the corner to the tram stop it became glaringly obvious that that theory was thought up by losers who have been shit on by birds their whole life (I'm about two droppings away from that prospect). What should I see but two tram ticket officers patiently waiting to pounce on the unaware passengers in the incoming tram. So this story ends with me walking 4 kms from the Showgrounds in Flemington to Grattan St, Carlton. It's not a particularly pleasing ending but it was that or a possible $150 fine, and I needed the exercise anyway.

Tomorrow I'm working 5.45am-12 pm at Macca's then 1-7pm at the Show again. I did that last Saturday and died many little deaths when my day was over. You just know I'm going to be a total work horse in the future.

Some things in this world that don't make sense: The success of Three and A Half Men. That show is as formulaic as bad sitcoms come. It's like CSI X a bajillion. See? It's that bad that the analogy needs to cross genres to get the point across.

Other things in this world that don't make sense: My Super Ex-Girlfriend scoring a 5.7 over Date Movie's 2.7 over at IMDb.

I am currently holding out for Incubus tickets. Who cares if they've only just released the US tourdates or that Light Grenades hasn't actually been released to the public yet? I am ready to spend whatever and beyond for their concert tickets, if and when they decide to do a world tour. Which they should logically, to support their new album. I think. Somehow in my mind this stream of logic makes complete and total sense. I have a feeling this is going to come back and mock me in my face. Like when they chose to perform in Malaysia WHEN I WASN'T THERE, and skipped out on Australia when I was here instead. Jesus 'can I get some action' Christ man.

Since Ad and I were talking the other day about how she regretted not going to see James Blunt in action when he was around and in light of a certain someone posting about the SD John Mayer concert, I've been inspired to write about bands/artistes that I really want to see. Like of the 'my life depends on watching them live' kind of desire. The usuals are a given.

- TV On the Radio
- Stereophonics
- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- The Futureheads
- The Go! Team
- Blink 182 (Obviously not happening anytime soon. Damn you Tom 'douchebag' DeLonge. Angels & Airwaves sucks massive ass.)

Yeap, that's about it. I feel like going for the John Mayer concert on Nov 1. But much like Dashboard Confessional, he's one of the artistes I end up laughing at after three songs. I don't doubt that they're good and rock the guitar like only a guitar god can. But the emoness of it all.. tee hee. Overly sincere songs absolute crack me up if you haven't noticed already.

Oh my god. I just found out the Borat movie is being released in Australia on the 23rd of November. You can bet your ass that you'll only see me in Malaysia on the 24th at the very earliest.


I just found out that Sin City 2 is opening on the the 30th of Nov. See you guys in December!