Thursday, December 08, 2005

It's undeniable.

It's true. You always hear this kind of talk but no actual confirmation. Well, I'm setting this in stone now (which is kind of funny cause this a blog in cyberspace, probably the total opposite from a physical stone). The prettier or better looking things in life fare better off. Yes, they really do.

Think about it.
Those crazy scientists who run really unnecessary experiments which bear really redundant but entertaining results tells us that babies are more attracted to prettier faces. The selection process for reality TV show contestants tells us that your odds are better if you're slim and don't resemble Donatella Versace circa the past 10 years.

Outside of the human world, biology tells us that butterflies and bees are attracted to the more brightly coloured flowers. The annual profit for IKEA tells us that the majority prefers a pretty bedroom to a quality-filled one (it's those damn annual catalogues. Who hasn't wished their bedrooms looked like page 126 in the bedroom section?).

I don't even need to go into the world of Hollywood to justify my statement, do I? But because everyone's thinking it: it's the reason why Bloomboy is undertaking the lead roles in sub-par movies (Elizabethtown) while far superior actors like Steve Buscemi are filling supporting role slots in better movies (Reservoir Dogs. Or if you want a movie of a similar genre, Ghost World).

It's the reason why a collie was casted as Lassie and not this thing:

That's Sam. Yes, it's a dog, not some turned-inside-out rodent that has been dipped into a tub of hydrocloric acid, then given a chemical peel to boot. It holds the title of "World's Ugliest Dog". How's that for understatement of the year?

It's the reason why marble and not granite covers floors of houses.

It's the reason why Apple products are selling. Damn that Powerbook is sure darn pretty.

It's the reason why apples that don't have brown marks on them are being picked at markets.

It's the reason why, oh good god. I'm still recovering from that thing that apparently is a dog. I'm so disgusted.

See? Enough said. So there. Now you don't only know, you actually know that prettier things have it better off. With proof to boot.

It's quite life-affirming to finally have that figured out.

Oh dear god. Can't think anymore. Damn Google images and their results for 'ugly dogs'. Eeeecccch.