Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Word Vomit Episode 2: The Return of the Verbal Shits.

And thus, continues the word vomit that spews from the unstoppable one, formerly known as Karen/Kaz/Kay, and currently answering to no other name but God. How the sudden upgrade in status? Well.. let me take you back to the early morning of Tuesday morning, 25/07/06 where among other things, I came to be.. God (much to Mich's annoyance, I probably should add).

'Twas one early weekday morning when I logged onto MSN and found, besides that fact that my Junk Mail had 22 new additions to it, SCB #3 Christine Chia. Her first words: omg x3. I was first overwhelmed by her previously unknown reverence for moi but I took it all in stride, affirmed my superior position to her and replied: "How's it going, lowly peon?"

1. And that is how I came to be God.

I did not understand her plebian phrases like, "syiok sendiri", and the sudden realization that my gargantuan and superior levels of knowledge would always be my burden to bear sure was the end of all re-affirming moments in my life. I am blessed.. and cursed. Ron Howard says: "It was sad". We shall not dwell on the perils of being God so the story simply must go on.

Michelle was then added to the conversation and although she was only occasionally present in the conversation, I, as the understanding God that I am, recognized the fact that she had other -ahem- sordid affairs to attend to. But that is not the reason why a fresh paragraph was started. The point is how Mich came to be known as Shrimp/Lamb depending whose perspective you're looking at. Christine attempted to spread the Lamb nickname but as I am God, I have decreed that Mich shall be Shrimp. How did this name-calling began? Chrissy attempted to play god and hand out names to people. But her efforts, though charming, were merely an exercise in futility for I of course had the last say.

2. And that is how Michelle came to be Shrimp.

Now while Chrissy's emoticon collection was determined to be much larger than mine, Yoong Mei came into the action. She was sleepy and tired and nursing her ill health (God bless, child) but she shouldered through the night to discuss what nick she would like. While Cow and Ayam Betina was deemed unacceptable on too many levels, she finally agreed to Young Mare.

3. And that is how YM came to be Young Mare.

At this point, Christine had adamantly rejected her C3 nickname, cheesycrazychrissy, for the umpteenth time so we collectively agreed that it was not to be, on the grounds that cheese is merely an animal by-product and God, aka I, forbids that her self-esteem plummets further down from where it already stands (lowly peon-type level). Rather coincidentally, Christine asked this question: "are there adult lambs?" Full credit has to be given to the Young Mare for correctly stating the obvious; adult lambs = sheep. Thanks to the Mensa-like comment from Christine herself, it came to pass that she shall be henceforth known as Adult Lamb, or more correctly, Sheep.

4. And that is how Chrissy came to be known as Sheep. Or Sheep in the Big City (cause she's in KL) if you want to be get into the technical stuff.

Spags, if you're wondering what your animal kingdom nickname is, well, you are and will always be Skinny Monkey to us. No contest.


Ten points if you read the whole glorified MSN conversation.

Twenty points if you did not skim over a single self-glorifying remark.

In other non-hyperbole-ing-MSN-conversations issues, I, for the first time in my nineteen years lodged my first tax returns. Ron Howard goes: "It was scary". Right off the bat, I had to insert my occupation and seeing as to how there was no 'fast food worker/server', 'food server' or anything of the like, I was in a pickle. There was a 'powder monkey', whatever the hell that is, but nothing I could use. Finally I settled on 'occupation unlisted'. Nyeh.. Couldn't be arsed going through a verrrrryy detailed list. Otherwise, the discovery of the 'powder monkey' occupation (someone who powders show monkeys?), the whole experience was pretty dull. Lots of reading, clicking yes/no buttons, warnings about how a penalty will be issued if you're caught lying about any information.. It got boring after the 41st question.

Anyway, that's my encounter with one of two things in life that will forever hold true. 'Til later, death.


Yes, I finally remembered what I originally wanted to type about.

When my housemates say that our broadband has unlimited access, I hope they mean that in every kind of way. I shouldn't knock them cause for people from mainland China they speak pretty decent English (but WTF kinda Mandarin.. xiang jiao!(which hopefully means banana when pronounced right, if not damn my incompetent memory!)) but I really hope their definition of 'unlimited' equates to "download any shit you want, then download some more," or something to a similar degree.

Wait, no. That was not it.


I think the anniversary for this blog passed a couple of days ago. One year. Never thought I'd last that long in the blogging world, or even still be remotely interested in the whole medium 12 months later. Maybe it's 14 months that might take the cake, huh? Just something I thought I'd point out.

Back to the downloads.. Chairman, glad to say Reefer Madness was done in that amount of minutes -snap-, but sad to say I haven't gotten around to watching it. I'm riding a Trey Parker/Matt Stone high now. Viva la South Park!

Onto cartoons. There is a general belief that there are three basic divisions. You've got your Simpsons fanatics, South Park geeks and the 'Family Guy ROXXX!!!11oneoneone' camp. Occasionally there is the odd King of the Hill supporter but there is large concensus among the adult cartoon community that American Dad is utter purile crap, equivalent to yet another season of Australian Idol or CSI:SameShit,DifferentCity. Having only watched some episodes from some seasons of the three main cartoons, I don't have a wealth of knowledge to go by. But, yeah, like that's ever stopped me (re: video clips, reviews, any list I've ever created).

If I had to choose a favourite, it'd be South Park. I think the 'Cartoon Wars Part 1&2' says it all. Simpsons remain the benchmark of the three, and without Matt Groening, odds are the other cartoons wouldn't have catapulted to such heights of success. Ditto Malcolm in the Middle. Having run for 13 seasons (as of 2006), The Simpsons remains a classic and I frequently use Homer's "Mmmm... donuuuuuuuuut" tone most frequently. They've managed to remain largely relevant throughout it all, but I get the feeling that it's all slowly becoming a novelty. That's not necessarily a bad thing, just that in this current age where people's attention span can be likened to a the life of a gnat (Short. So I suck at analogies. Eat. My. Shorts), the hardcore Simpsonw fan, will most usually be someone who has stuck with the show for a while. The kids these days tend to go for Family Guy, which is generally believed to be more 'out there'.

Family Guy isn't a horrible show by any stretch. It has its funny moments and I don't for a second buy into the argument that the show is a caricature of the Simpsons; Peter=non-yellow Homer with hair, Meg=Lisa etc. The problem lies in the fact that a lot of the humour relies on cutaway scenes and gags on pop culture. Sheesh.. now I'm just repeating the content of 'Cartoon Wars'. While shows like Scrubs, Everybody Hates Chris, and My Name is Earl relies quite a fair bit on cutaway or fantasy scenes as well, the difference, to me at least, is that these shows have the advantage of not being a cartoon. Meaning that the humour can lie in the line delivery, or a facial expression, which in a cartoon is near impossible to achieve. Plus, with the exception of maybe Scrubs, these cutaway scenes are generally relevant to the plot. I guess, Family Guy just seems to try too hard with the random. But I guess when you've got a winning formula that's even managed to make the Fox studio execs revive said show from cancellation, you stick with it, eh?

I guess if you wanted to be nit-picky, you could say South Park has inferior graphics and indescribably crude toilet humour, so why the hell would it be better than any of the two? Mainly because the humour, while undoubtedly crass, goes places where no other contemporary cartoon has. They diss Jews on a regular basis, take the piss out of red-neck towns, cussing, God, Satan, Republicans, Democrats.. you name it they've probably done it. Christ, Cartman kills Scott Tenorman's parents, ground them up into Chilli and feed it to him just cause he got ripped off (Must watch 'Scott Tenorman Must Die' ep)! I think I read on IMDb that it takes five days for one episode of South Park as compared to nine months for Simpsons and Family Guy, hence the remote possibility that they're in their tenth season now. Has the novelty worn off yet? Judging by the Scientology episode scandal, no. And an admirable point to South Park, there exists only two writers throughout the entire run while the others have interchangable boatloads of them.

So, yeah. I'm a South Park kinda girl. Hell, if I ever saw Trey Parker and Matt Stone anywhere I'd ask them out for a round at the pub. I hate beer but I'd drink it if it meant hanging out with them.


Thirty points if you read every single word in the add-on.

If there's anyone out there who scored sixty points, leave me a comment. As God, I shall certify your 'legend' status.

Anyone out there with less than twenty points, -tsk- pissant loser.

Christ.. I must get my word vomit under control, hey?