Friday, October 21, 2005

Post is peppered with curses.

20 Annoying Things People Do:

1. When you talk about a less popular band, usually indie or emo, and people go, "Oh my god. How do you know them?" Jesus Christ. Yes, you fucking idiot. You're not special. People know about your little band. Kindly rid the earth of your arrogance.

2. Overtly religious people. Hey man… whatever's up your alley. Just don't freak out and pray for my repentance and salvation when I tell you I'm an atheist. It's really not quite the same thing as being an unstable psychopathic misanthropist.

3. People who go, "Oh my god. Didn't you know?" when you tell them something you weren't aware of. More often than not, these people are big fucking idiots who only fall asleep at night after repeatedly assuring themselves that they're cool and digging it. Kill yourself now cause your self-confidence isn't ever going to be any higher. Really.

4. Irresponsible people. Eg, if you're going to do drugs, go for it man. Whatever rocks your boat. Just don't do it if you can't afford it. It's so simple. Don't do the crime if you can't pay and eventually go into debt over time.

5. People who get all prissy when you choose "a billion other wishes" as your third wish. If they're dumb enough not to think of that in the first place, they really shouldn't deserve to live.

6. Assholes who think it's hilarious to speak in perverted Chinese (think 'chingchangchongchung'), usually ang mohs. You're not funny. You've instead proved yourself to be a contender for the title of 'Biggest Fucking Global Idiot'. I don't mangle your language on purpose (English. Cause being idiots on top of assholes, ang mohs usually only know one language). Fuck off and don't mangle mine.

7. Orlando Bloom. What the fuck is all the fuss about? He's only an average actor. And he's not that pretty a pretty boy. What the bleeping hell is so darn great? When Bloomboy overshadows good credible actors like Giovanni Ribisi, you know its time to break out the machetes and bring on ultimate carnage.

8. People who abbreviate cuss words and adjectives. Fugly. Famazing. You guys are fidiots.

9. People who make generalizations. All Chinese people must be nerdy, uncool, and speak in broken English, right? William Hung is just one Chinese dude out of billions. All feminists must be angry, bra-burning lesbians with unshaved pits and legs, right? Get your facts right. No bras were burned. Fuck off, you dumb fuck. Make the world a happier place and just die already.

10. People who think they’re 'random' when they're really just being pain-in-the-asses. Either you've got it or you don't. Sophers, Chairman and Sammy do. Other "Oh my god, that was so random *insert obnoxious giggle*" idiots are just annoying and unfunny. You're not cool. Oh did I hurt your feelings? Good. You can die now.

11. People who can vote but don't, then proceed to piss and moan about how the elected leaders are screwing everything into the ground. These dumb fucks are responsible for putting him there to begin with. Presidential elections to student elections… It’s not about putting the best guy in. Candidates and parties are innately flawed. It's about keeping the worst guy out.

12. People on IMDb who can't argue rationally and are so fucking retarded that they only see their case and can't comprehend a logical critique of a movie. If I give a balanced argument about why Eurotrip sucked ass (The sidekick friend, David Spade look-a-like, failed horrendously at being funny), at least read it before you start raising a ruckus, you freaking idiots.

13. Extreme politically correct people. Get a life. Nudity in teen comedies isn't shocking. South Park is hilarious. Ali G is funny. Booyakasha you dumb fucks.

14. People who put up an edgy front and insist they're all bad-ass when they secretly have a Spice Girls and Britney poster on their bedroom wall. What’s wrong with the truth? I was a fan of Spice Girls when they were around and Backstreet Boys kicks O-Town's and Five's ass any day. Oh my god. I must be such a loser. *Sob*. Let me hide under the covers and waste away while thinking of the 6 billion people in the world who must think me an embarrassment to all human kind. What do you mean my opinions don't register a bleep in the world stage? *Sob sob* I'm not SPECIAL? Yeah. eSPECIALly retarded, you dumb shit.

15. Even worse than the idiots who think they're special by liking obscure bands are fucking idiots who suddenly choose to dislike a band just because they became big. What the fuck kind of reasoning is that?! I plead self-defence in court when charged with your murder. After all, I was provoked.

16. People who call their significant others 'baby'. I’ve had enough of this. You see it on reality TV shows, in films, in real life. There’s no escaping it. Either these people are too damn dumb to come up with original terms of endearment and have to resort to pathetic clich├ęs, or they think they're being cute and affectionate which basically reflects their dumbness too.

17. People who act all shocked when you tell them that you would choose money over happiness. Wake up you ignorant piece of turd. There's a reason why they specifically say 'money, [not happiness] makes the world go round'. It's what you would have chosen if you dropped the self-righteous, holier-than-thou, tight-arsed prick act.

18. People who insist that Angel is better than Buffy. Seeing as to how there would be no Angel had Buffy not existed, that statement bears no weight. They're both spawned from the same Maestro himself: Joss Whedon. The writers have on occasion written for both series. The Angel characters are mere duplicates, and not very good ones at that, of Buffy characters (Wesley = Giles, Fred = Pre-Uber Wiccan Willow). Don't push your insecure, simplistic 'macho' view of the world where the catchcry 'strong male lead: good, strong female lead: bad' rings in the air onto the innocent children of the world, you idiots.

19. People who actually literally say 'lolz' in face-to-face conversation. What the flying fuck is that about?! Firstly, adding and pronouncing the 'z' at the back of 'lol' doesn't make it any less lame, you dumb fuck. It just proves your incredible stupidity and increases your asshole-factor. And do they even realize just how big a fool they look actually spelling out L-O-LZ mid-conversation?! Laugh Out Loud you dumb fuckerZ.

20. People who actually quote that "dance like nobody's watching" quote. Why don't you dance and showcase your own ineptness instead of belittling other people by making them feel superficial for not wanting to look like a complete spastic in public? Everyone saw Napolean Dynamite. That's how the story really ends. With the loser walking away as an even bigger loser.

Sigh. This is the end product of 1 and a half hours that were originally dedicated to creating the best ever screenplay for my Creative Writing folio. Any offense taken... Well. At least it was emotionally involving.