Where is everyone?

No seriously. Where my peeps at? (Heh. I've always wanted to use that).

I was attending a co-worker's birthday party at a bar last weekend when amidst the smoke and the most atrocious techno soundtrack ever (I swear, they had it on repeat), it dawned on me that I have been working at the Golden Arches for exactly one year now. Normally, I'm not the kind of person who makes a big deal out of anniversaries and the like. I skipped out on blogging about my 100th blog post, I forgot about my mum's birthday this year (nice save, Gill), and I turned 19 while in transit from Costa Rica to Aus alone and away from family, save one friend; just the way I like it, no pomp and circumstance. But since I've been wanting to write this post forever, I shall use this occasion to blog and commemorate my one year at Mickey D's:-

How to conduct yourself when ordering at McDonald's
1. Always, ALWAYS state the size of the meal you want first when ordering. Having to ask a hundred fifty plus customers if they want that in small, medium or large takes up extra serving time and is annoying as hell. Go like this, "Can I have a s/m/l whatever-you-want, please?" We're silently thanking you.

2. Be polite to your server. Saying a casual "hey" and using your Ps and Qs while ordering give us a much better impression of you. Sounds simple enough but the amount of people who lack basic politeness is mind-boggling. If a mute customer can say thanks (true story), there is absolutely no excuse for all you other folks out there.

3. When ordering grills, that is either taking or putting extra ingredients in your food, be mindful that it will take a while, usually three minutes on average, longer if it's during rush period. You want something done fresh for you? No problem. Just don't wait for one minute and start bitching about how you've been waiting for ten. We're not dumb. We're looking out for you too, pal. Which leads me to my next point.

4. If your food is taking extra long to come over, please don't start screaming at us for being lazy and stupid. We, the front counter servers are just that; in charge of the front counter. We don't deal with the back crew or food preparation. We don't know why it's taking two extra minutes to get your fresh Quarter Pounder over. Yelling at us and accusing us of not doing our jobs is only going to achieve the goal of making you look like a total ass. But if you ask nicely we can go check it for you, and not just run to the back and start bitching about you.

5. People tend to associate people who work at fast food joints as slack-jawed yokels who can't tell their thumbs from their asses. Most of us are just students who couldn't be bothered finding a better job cause we love the people and friends we work with. If we ask you to repeat your order, don't roll your eyes and call us incompetent. We're only asking cause you were being a dick and mumbling/rattling off your order to begin with. This especially applies to people who order grills. Why give us the stink-eye? We just want to make sure we get your order right so we don't have to deal with you coming back to rant about how you wanted no pickles, not no onions on your Quarter.

6. If you have a problem with the server, whatever you do, do not start yelling and cursing at your server. It makes you look like a total douche, and we will blackmark you, especially if you're a regular. Hell, I guarantee even the guy behind you in line thinks you're a total douche. Take it up with the manager and explain in a calm manner what the server did wrong. We will actually take your complain seriously and take action regarding the server, and not just lable you a 'Bitchy McDoucheBagCustomer' and pawn off the service to the newbie the next time you come in.

7. This is for the tourists or the out-of-state folks. Don't lament to us how your country/Macca's does it better. We don't really care. I'm sorry if we don't carry frozen cokes or an extra large cheeseburger duo meal, but you pestering us why there isn't one on the menu isn't exactly going to make it magically appear okay, bud? And for fucks' sake, we don't carry beer! Not one store in the world does, you blind drunk!

8. Flush the damn toilet. You use it, you flush it. It's not fair that anyone else has to deal with your shit (literally), especially the person who is on dining room duty.

9. If you spill something, please do us a favour and tell us that you did. Often during rush, we won't have the time to do a dining room check so we won't find out about the spill till much later. By telling us you're ensuring that we get on it pronto and therefore you and the other patrons can enjoy your meal in as close to cleanliness as Macca's gets.

10. Don't ask us if it's true if our milkshake is made with pigfat. WE DON'T KNOW. Neither do we know if there are any hooves in our beef patties or if our burgers are a diabetic's nightmare. We just serve, m'kay? We weren't briefed about the ingredients in our food during training. And honestly if you thought that was remotely true at all, why are you still ordering food here?

11. Please realize that McCafe isn't Starbucks. For one, we're cheaper. Also, we don't serve any of those Free Trade beans and play lounge music for our customers. But mostly, we don't carry chai drinks. So stop giving me the ol' stink-eye when I tell you that we don't have a chai latte. We're not the Bucks, m'kay!

And just for fun, here's a list of some of the people I've had the chance to encounter during my time at Macca's.

- Bitchy McDoucheBagCustomer who screamed at me for forgetting her happy meal toy. She really brought it all out; the ranting, the pointing, the crazy eyes. Too bad this list wasn't written up yet or I would have pointed out rule number six. To top it all off she's a regular. And everybody hates her. Just this weekend she yelled out at a newbie, one of the better ones infact, for some insignificant reason. Isn't she just lovely?

- A really creepy old guy who went asked what he wanted to order replied, "I like looking at girls" in the lewdest tone I have ever heard. My reply? "Uh huh. Great." Then I went to the back to hide out until he went away. Thank god I don't work nights anymore.

- A guy who I was serving passed out when I had my back turned to get the drink. When I turn back to get the money, I was like "Where did he go?" until I looked on the floor. His friend with him was like, "Where did... oh wow." See folks, dehyration is bad m'kay? Drink up during summer please so you won't scare your friendly Macca's server.

- When I went to do a bathroom check I saw a couple walking out of the females bathroom, and they had that look, the "I just got laid" look, so bad that I think the little single cell creatures in Mars got it. At what point does a bathroom, and not just any but a McDonald's bathroom, scream 'romantic'?? Is it the harsh fluorescent lighting, or the vomit-coloured tiles on the wall? No really, someone enlighten me please?

- I've blogged about this before but I'll bring it up again cause she was one for the books. At McCafe, a customer asked for her cappucinos to be extra hot. We heated the milk up to 75 Celsius. She said it wasn't hot enough. We heat it up to 90, and the lady still wasn't happy. Seriously, I still maintain her tongue has gone bad. Ninety freakin' Celsius. We've got people coming to tell us that 60 is too hot as it is. Crazy nut..

- And though this isn't really one for the crazy customers book, I just had to add this in. A customer comes in and asks for thirteen sugars in her coffee. I try not to pass judgement especially cause she's nice and all, but when she added one more "for the road", I couldn't help it anymore. That's fourteen sachets of white sugar in all. Lady, diabetes is on the rise in Australia and being a diabetic does not quite mean that you're 'sweet as sugar', m'kay?

- This one time I headed upstairs to do a bathroom check, I saw a girl collapsed on the stairway. She couldn't speak English very well but when my manager was dealing with her, she let out that she hadn't eaten anything all day and her stomach was in pain. See kids, extreme dieting is bad, m'kay? Those acids in your stomach will retaliate if they don't got nothing to chew on.

- And then another time a male customer comes down from the bathroom and in a really wigged out tone tells us that there is a guy who was dead in the male bathrooms. Apparently he wasn't moving and hadn't moved at all in over an hour. We find out later that he's just another druggie stoned out of his mind who had shot up in our bathroom. See guys, drugs are bad m'kay? Man. I should stop doing that but I've got Mr Mackay on my mind. Damn South Park!

- One night while training, I was teaching a newbie how to serve and get everything. When I ask the customer how he would like to pay he tells me that it's rude to cut in and that he was carrying on the transaction with the newbie. I took it all in stride and went, "alright then." Of course he couldn't leave it be, and had to get the one up, so while waiting for the newbie to get his food he starts lecturing me about how he's a corporate executive at McDonald's and how he should get me fired for being so rude. I gave him my full name and Macca's ID no and told him to get right to it. Look mate, rule number one. If you're going to threaten people, don't overreach alright? I'll say it again, people who work at Macca's are not dumb. Corporate exec, you say? For starters, I don't think corporate execs look like aging rockers who never quite saw their hey day, and also, the exec types tend to at least say hie to the managers when they come in, ya moron. Up yours, dude.

- A family of four comes in and youngest kid throws a tantrum cause his dad didn't allow him to get a Happy Meal. The dad responds by slapping the kid HARD on the face. While the kid goes suddenly quiet, everyone around the family stopped and stared. To which the father oh-so-eloquently replied with a, "Fuck you c--ts". How charming.

I'm not even going to get started on the regulars. Most of them are nice, but still weird in their own way. That's another story for another day.



On a side note, I know how to play roulette now. Oh, Crown Casino, we are on! Also, while walking down the street and (not) admiring Melbourne City Council's attempts at reminding us it is spring, hail and cold winds be damned (re: picture above), I thought up the most useless superpower in the world. Imagine this tagline:

"Super Billy! Now with the superhuman power to watch paint dry!"

Yeap. Worst superpower in the world in my books.

And remember this folks: 4 seconds. That is the time it takes for the novelty of walking in hail to wear off. Trust me on that one.

The 'Heroes' Drinking Game

+ 1 shot for everytime Peter Petrelli pushes back his hair from his face.
+ 1 shots for everytime Claire shows up on screen with her cheerleader uniform.
+ 2 shots for everytime any male cast member show up on screen shirtless.
+ 1 extra if it's Milo Ventimiglia. (Yo, how you doing, bud?)
+ 1 shot for everytime you go "WHOAAAAAA" at the products of the special effects team.
+ 1 shot for everytime you balls out laugh at the hideous wooden-ness of the dialogue.
+ 3 extra for the scene where Peter goes "I have been in love with you from the moment I met you" to Simone. Ugh. Shiver me timbers.. and not in the good way.
+ 2 shots for everytime any of the heroes cross in a scene and that whoosh sound effect is used.
+ 1 shot and a "WOOT!!" whenever Hiro comes on screen.

By the end of the episode, if you weren't having a good time already, I can bet there'll be the silliest looking grin on your face. 100% guaranteed, or your money back*.

*alcohol not included.

Nyeh.

The longer you go without updating your blog, the less you feel like actually doing it when you have the spare time, no?

Super Hiro

Heroes is freaking awesome. The new show that premiered during the US Fall season '06 on NBC is growing from strength to strength. It's being touted as the 'new Lost', which I disagree with mainly cause Lost was overrated and then some. Yeah, both shows have quite a huge ensemble, cliffhanger endings in each episode and a fair racial representation (re: Asians) but the buck stops there. The major difference being that while Lost quickly outgrew it's pre-island flashback style of exposition, every single character's arc in Heroes will eventually meld together to drive the story home.

Heroes is about a bunch of ordinary people suddenly discovering powers that didn't exist before. X-Men ripoff you say? Not quite. While there is the obvious similarity of ordinary humans finding out they're actually extraordinary, Heroes seems to put the idea of the development of a superior gene in the context of biology; natural selection and the possibilities of the other 90%++ of the brainspace we don't use. Also, there aren't any spanky yellow leotards or leather uniforms let alone an established "School for the Gifted". It's really about people coming to terms with their new power. Everyone is confused and/or continues to swim in the waters of De Nial, except one, Hiro, who hilariously embraces his power and new identity all too willingly. Seriously, every female viewer wants to make him her pet right now.

Why I think it will pay off unlike the gradual suckfest that is Lost? At the end of the pilot, it is revealed that there will be a nuclear explosion in a month's time. How many ways can you say dum dum dummm? The time constraint really amps up the tension throughout the season, especially as characters start to figure out that they're not alone and the prowess of the supervillian and other freelance agents is added into the equation. The Lost writers on the other hand hadn't even worked out season one's arc after the pilot went to air. I started watching because of Milo Ventimiglia, who by the way, has the gayest hair on network TV right now, but after the pilot I realize that even if he wasn't around I'd still be going apeshit over it. So do yourself a huge favour and start watching it. This is going to be awesome TV.

Also, the Amazing Race Asia is set to premier on Nov 9 on AXN. From what I gather on the site, there is a team from Sri Lanka, India, Singapore, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Thailand and two teams from Phillipines and Malaysia each. Things that are particularly noteworthy:

- The Phillos are going crazy on the boards with national pride. No really.. their intensity is quite scary. In particular this user, "lexz06".
- The team from Thailand is made up of two Anglo-Saxons. Naturally, there's a huge debate going on in the forums on what constitutes an 'Asian' dude and I think the Thailand community is particularly torn about the race issue.
- There isn't the obligatory gay team that you see in the US version.
- There also isn't the obligatory septogenarian team. Heck, the oldest participant is merely 42!
- Of the twenty people participating, four of them lists 'model' as their profession. Heh. Guess they retained some things from the US version.
- So far people seem to be supporting based on national lines. It will be interesting to see if how that changes, if it does, once the season gets started and teams get eliminated.

That is all.

Things I have been up to of late:

The post I wrote up yesterday got deleted somehow and didn't get published. I'm trying to recall what I said there. Here's a rough summary, because I couldn't be arsed to put the proper links in and all that.

[/edit]: Erm.. it came through afterall. My bad. Also I finally finished season 1 of Lost. Daniel, the recapper on TWoP ends season 1 with this; "If they get down that hatch and there's somebody at the bottom named Rambaldi, I'm done." Heh. Oh JJ Abrams, how you have scarred us all.

So, if you haven't noticed it already, I was very, very, majorly against remaking Infernal Affairs. Since I found out there were even talks of it in the works, the alarm bells went on full psychotic alert and have stayed on since. So finally watching The Departed is a big deal to me, not cause that's an indication of my unhealthy tendencies to get too attached to movies/TV series and the like, but cause I wanted to laugh in Hollywood's face and give it a smug one finger salute when it turned out to be an absolute suckfest thus proving the theory that remakes, especially of really excellent films to start with, are unnecessary with the emphasis on the UN-. Boy, that was a type-ful.

The way I see it, the general critic/viewer will fall into a number of categories which will subsequently affect what they thought of the movie.

Type A viewers are the ones who went into the The Departed without watching the original Hong Kong flick. They might have heard about the huge furore regarding the remake, but either due to apathy, inability to get their hands on Infernal Affairs, or refusal to watch a movie with subtitles (what the fuck, right?) they go into the movie with little or no prior knowledge of the original. These are the viewers who most likely will come out raving about the movie going on about how it was a masterpiece and the best cinematic experience of 2006. You can smell their obnoxious "Fuck the original, this movie is the shizz, yo" stench from three forum boards away.

Type B is made up of the Scorsese fanboys. These are the people who have been following Scorsese from the start and feel a particular affinity towards the remake because, and this is not limited to, general obnoxiousness and their need to validate their "Scorsese is the best director in the world" claim. Their obnoxiousness can be explained by the fact that their self-esteem have been torn to shreds and withered since Gangs of New York. Type B viewers can be seen trolling online forums telling anyone and everyone that Scorsese "better be clearing his mantlepiece for Oscar" next year. For better or worse, most critics seem to fall into this category.

Type C is best seen here. They are the ones who were completely enamoured by the original and were vehemently opposed to the remake. Regardless of whichever god they believe in and worship, Roy Lee is commonly acknowledged as the devil that needs to be purged from society, STAT. They are obnoxiously waving their "Y'all nOObz ain't got nothin' on the original" flag in everyone's faces. Depressed and to afraid to end your own life? Just casually mention how you preferred the remake and in seconds, dude, we're talking a bloodbath massacre of epic proportions.

Type D, my favourite kind, has this to say when questioned about the The Departed vs Infernal Affairs debate; [in the most obnoxious voice ever] "Who the fuck cares? TRANSFORMERS IS GOING TO TRUMP EVERYONE'S ASSES." -cue loud cricket noises in the background-

Right. No takers for guessing which type I am? Which is why it kills me to say this, yeah.. The Departed wasn't too damn bad. Oh my street cred.. what's going to happen to us now?

MINIMAL SPOILERS WARNING! THIS MEANS YOU!


Fuck me but I'll admit that as adamantly against as I was towards to remake, it kinda impressed this cynic. The performance by the two leads, Leo DiCaprio and Matt Damon, in particular really blew me away. The last DiCaprio flick I watched was Romeo + Juliet, so I had no idea his talent grew exponentially throughout the years. I mean he almost does justice to Tony 'The fucking Man' Leung! And Matt Damon, who I associate most with Team America's caricature, "Mattt Damoooonn", completely floored me. When he was in suave mode, I was all "[Joey Tribbiani] Yo, how you doing?", and he actually held his ground against DiCaprio throughout the tense moments near the end. Not bad for a guy who I previously thought was about as talented as Ben Affleck (Oh dear god, please let this not mean that I have to change my opinion about Ben 'for crissakes, it's Ben frickin' Affleck' Affleck).

The only other thing noteworthy was the decision to merge the girlfriend and therapist in IA into one singular role in TD. I've always thought the female characters were the weakest link in an otherwise solid classic so creating one female lead who served both purposes was the best thing TD brought to the remake. At first I agreed with Ad when she mentioned about Madolyn's non-reservations regarding sex outside her relationship (re: Meredith Grey-type slutty behaviour), but after ruminating about it, I realized if both Costigan and Sullivan managed to charmed my cynical ass off, who's to say it couldn't happen to her too.

Apart from those two points, the remake was as a whole, subpar to the original. The plot to IA had a certain poetry to it, the idea of Karma, purgatory, Hell, the philosophical subtexts of good and evil were portrayed better in the characters of Ming and Yan. There was a lot of emphasis placed on the idea of being a cop and subsequently, what it meant to Yan (Tony Leung, the 'good' mole). This is especially evident in the scene where Yan gets reprimanded by the Superintendant for acting like a gangster and he yells out his own inner conflict between remaining the farce and keeping the faith. In Costigan, Yan's Western reincarnation, he wanted an identity. I understood that he wanted to escape his family's past identity of the Irish mob business, and his goals of being a cop, but his lack of wanting to a future that was so abstract detracted from the full impact of his death.

In the original, Ming (Andy Lau aka the 'bad' mole) as well struggles with the idea of good and bad. He may have started out a mole but by the end it becomes pretty clear that he yearns to be the good guy. I might be reading too much but the flashbacks to their police training days especially signified how his desire to be a mole was more a matter of fate playing her hand than intentional. The scene where he shoots Eric Tsang's character, the triad boss, in that shit-inducing climax was where he made the choice between good and evil. Had Yan not find out his true nature he would have gone on living an exemplary lifestyle, discarding of his ties with the triad and being a good cop. With Sullivan, I got the feeling that he wasn't motivated by this good/bad conundrum. It seemed like his main motivation was himself. He killed Connelly because he was getting out of hand and not listening to him, he wanted to protect himself so he shot the second mole, basically all that he does is for self-promotion. Or at least that's what I got from it. Which isn't to say that this interpretation made for a shit remake, just that Infernal Affairs had more contextual meaning, and thus, oomph. Ya know, that wow factor.

I'm getting tired of comparing the two and I'm only halfway through, so I'll just write up the rest of it in this simplistic and totally obnoxious manner which I should start using more because I love;

25 minutes of the Exposition Fairy at the beginning before the title came on = UNnecessary.
Dingham, Mark Wahlberg = UNnecessary = way to perfect a stocktype 'bad' cop = Doogie McDoucheBag.
Connelly = FBI Informant =WTF? UNnecessary plot point.
Connelly = Jack Nicholson = Something's Gotta Give = hospital robes = heh.
Cousin Sean = Kevin Corrigan from Grounded For Life = coolest uncle on TV = I knew he looked familiar!
Boston accents = much love = well done from all cast with exception of Doogie McDoucheBag.

And just to sell the whole thing home;

Tony Leung >> Leo DiCaprio
Andy Lau = Matt Damon
Anthony Wong >>>>>>>> Martin Sheen. He sold the father figure so much better. And the death scene? No contest.
Doogie McDoucheBag = Will he ever outgrow the days of Marky Mark? Not as long as VH1 or YouTube lives on, says a giggling Karen.

I also watched Little Miss Sunshine with AdLee, but then I fell asleep halfway through which actually does not say a lot about the film. I fall asleep everywhere, whenever.

As expected, The Departed jacked up the amount of violence and sex in the remake. However it didn't quite suck as bad as I wanted and expected it to. I wonder if Tony Leung is sitting somewhere in Hong Kong going, "Sei gwai lo! Wo ho seong sat sei Doogie McDoucheBag. Tiu lah.. gam cha tho ho yi?!"

Some things that I have been doing of late

- It took approximately seven years off my life, but it is finally completed. Everybody, here's three reasons why Popular is one of my most favourite TV series of all time:

• Mary Cherry. Sure, the WB have churned out pretty craptastic teen shows like Dawson's "I whine because I need to live" Creek, and god.. don't get me started on the unholy abomination that is 7th Heaven, but thanks to them, Mary Cherry, the single most genuis character ever created in any teen series, came to be and for that (and I suppose BuffytVs) I can never truly loathe the WB.

• Popular is a satire. I like satires. Hence, I really, really like Popular.

• Mary Cherry: [after being shown a cheer routine] "Do we have to do those splits? I'm a Christian". Imagine the most horrible, hackneyed Texan accent you can think of and apply it to this blonde woman, who is so obviously anything but a teen. That is just the surface of the genius behind the character of Mary Cherry.

- Watching Popular. That much didn't need to be said, right?

- Also, while traversing online sites, I read a little tidbit that Nathan Fillion of and ugh.. Slither, FireflyTwo Guys and a Girl fame will be appearing on Lost. Now more than ever I'm motivated to watch that crazy show with the curiously expanding cast. Here's the link; Spoilers: Nathan Fillion on Lost. How scandalous!

- In a bid to catch up on Lost, I have been reading the Television Without Pity recaps and I just have to say that the recaps are a heck lot more interesting than the episodes themselves. I stopped watching the show at season one, episode 4 due to utter disinterest so if you can't tell already, I've got a long way to go before I'm at season three and on par with the rest of the world. Through reading the recaps I am up to episode 16. So far I have found out that Hurley's name is actually Hugo, Sun can speak English, Boone and Shannon are step-siblings. I never knew all that! The actual episodes are probably more tension-filled and prettier to look at, but the recaps make me laugh regularly, which is something I think the actual episodes cannot accomplish. I particularly love the fact that anytime there is a fight between the Alpha males of the group, TWoP recaps that couple of minutes with these five simple letters: "chaos".

- For those of you who grew up watching Boy Meets World, Rider Strong guest stars in the second episode of Veronica Mars. As someone who grew up with a crush on him while watching BMW on Disney, it was very satisfying to go "OMIGODZ! Rider Strong is guesting on VM!! I didn't know he was still acting!!!" when I saw him appear on screen. Oh, all right, I kinda went more like this: "Rider Strong?!!?! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". Click here to see little Shawn Hunter all grown up. Don't get me wrong, I still hate MySpace, but it definitely has it's uses.

I'm happy because I'm stupid

So obviously the people who visit this blog do not enjoy clicking on links. Or there are no words to be said about the kick-awesomeness that is the Muppet's manahnanah song? Huh. Duly noted. Maybe I should have embedded the YouTube video so you lazy arses can just click the little play button? Nyeh. Too little, too late.

Two new links on the sidebar;
i. Waiterrant is a regularly updated site where an anonymous waiter/manager of an anonymous upscale restaurant in an anonymous state in the USA writes about life in the food and beverage and service industry. Very insightful, especially if you want to understand the tipping culture in the States. Also, more reason why yuppie-types are the bane of the working middle-class of the world.

ii. Barista Brat works at Starbucks somewhere in the US. Since working at McCafe seems very similar to working at Starbucks (at least according to her descriptions), her rants totally speak to my soul. Like, absolutely. From the corporate thought-process to the hatred expressed towards all things ice-blended (it's a general consensus that everybody f'ing hates frappucinos) this blog needs to be read by every coffee-drinking maniac out there. Those maniacs need to understand that a decent level of politeness needs to be maintained and practiced regardless if their caffiene levels are reaching new levels of low. Also, if you don't do this already, please, for fucks' sake, shut your mobile off when you're making an order. There's really nothing more annoying than people who cannot give you 10 seconds of their life to ensure they make the correct order. Except maybe yuppies who hang on to their mobile like their life depended on it. Yeap, everybody's hating on yuppies.

---

With PCWorld just about going apeshit crazy with the news of Google purchasing YouTube just this week, it boggles my wee little mind to think that just thirteen months ago the concept of sharing videos online was pretty much like Mandarin to me, that is to say, pretty damn incomprehensible. It's hard to imagine how any of us non-WoW/DOtA/omgwtf/stfun00b playing people killed our precious down time in the days before July 2005. I think in the days before YouTube, I spent a lot of time honing my sweet Freecell skills. Unfortunately now I pretty much only break out those skillZ while waiting for something on YouTube to load.

Well, to commemorate the birth of four other billionaires in the world and Google's successful step in eventually taking over the online and offline world, here's a little something that perfectly encapsulates the bulk of the YouTube videos available online; wild crazy dancing by some whiteass kids.

Except this is wild, crazy dancing of the best kind. Treadmills have never been put to better use, this gym hater exclaims. That's right, people. It's the videoclip that launched the career of otherwise slightly-better-than-average band, OK Go!



Everyone's seen it by now, but it doesn't hurt to give it another go, eh? Plus, it's embedded now for chrissake's. Seriously, just how lazy are you?!

Ma nah ma nah

do doo do do doo.

do doo do do.

Today in history

I use the expletive 'motherf---ker' or other forms of it, which I find horrendously rude, even surpassing the likes of c--t, approximately 6 times. In public.
eg., "Motherf---king over-caffienated yuppie wankers."
"Motherf---king over-caffienated senior wankers."
"Motherf---king over-caffienated teenage wankers."
You get my drift. Today was not a good day.

[/end]

See, I can write short updates too.

Rants

#1. I don't know if you guys have seen it around on the web, but those (usually) banner advertisements for the "next generation of smileys", the talking, animated ones? Ugh. The future for the next generation looks bleaker than the onslaught of global warming in year 2007 if theirs is a time of silent ringtones and talking smileys.

#2. As a PC user, I don't think I am particularly against Apple Mac-tops especially when compared with other psycho Anti-Macs flag wavers. Sure, I rib on friends who use them, but then even without the Mac factor, there's plenty ribbing ammo about -cough-. Their Get a Mac ads sure did push me over the edge though. It's supposed to be funny, and jokey, very "Ha ha.. We're so young and hip, we've enlisted Justin Long to be our spokesperson whereas PC's got an old guy with a dowdy looking suit and even dowdier looking glasses." But when your spokesperson looks like he'd be having a better time having his brains siphoned out through his nose and his balls through his asscrack, you know the campaign isn't quite going to be the raging success you imagined. Get over your presumptous self Mr Jobs. The only reason why Macs are remotely relevant to people not in Hollywood and people with too much cash to spare, is because Windows now run on it.

#3. I've watched it twice more than necessary to find the appeal. And after watching the theatrical cut once, the director's cut twice, and trolling too damn many forums, I feel more than assured in making the claim, indie cred be damned, that Donnie Darko is the most overrated movie this side of the millenium. "But shallow bimbos like you don't get the true meaning to it all", you may argue. I have never met anyone who has been able to easily describe the 'true meaning' of DD, and while fanboys may venture the claim that it's Richard Kelly's take on existentialism or the modern day Macbeth at work, I call overarching geeks who want to make themselves believe that it meant something other than an excuse for cinematic escapism in the grand scheme of their lives. I should know, I'm usually one of them. Which brings me to my point and here it is; Donnie Darko Collector's Edition = completely unwarranted.

And in line with the new fall season in US, I have decided to give my very own limited two cents about the shows that are premiering/premiered over there. Mostly because I haven't talked TV in a long while, and you just know I always have something to say about everything. Stop reading -here- for those who don't really care. It's going to be a long one, you have been warned.

- Scrubs: Season 6 (NBC)
I have read heaps about how this might be the last season of Zach Braff cause he wants to pursue a film career. Whether the news is official, I'm not sure. If ZB does choose to quit the show, I hope they kill it because as much as I love the hallowed halls of Sacred Heart, I'd rather risk the death of the original show then see it mutilated and blasphemy-sized ala That 70's Show. I alternate between thinking ZB is getting a little too big for his britches, wanting out on the show that launched his career, and understanding his need to bank in on his current 'it-boy' status, especially since he passed the 3-0 mark recently. Personally I think a career in TV isn't as bad as it seems, look at John Ritter I say. But then I am not an actor and John Ritter only had a seminally successful movie career.
Pros: the musical episode + the return of the Janitor and the Todd. "Air five!"
Cons: this might be the last season of Scrubs.

- My Name is Earl: Season 2 (NBC)
The show is formulaic, very inconsistent with the laughs and season one ended without a cliffhanger so there is no apparent reason why people should come back to it. Yet it is also wildly successful and has Jamie Pressly playing the role of the redneck hussy with utmost conviction so the people will come flocking in for them no doubt. MNiE is a funny sort of show, I find. Like I said before, I go through episodes without so much as a smirk, before I come across a gem of a bellyaching laughter inducing moment. Also, Earl a supposed poor redneck do-gooder wears jeans that certainly don't look like they came from the aisles of K-Mart. The formula of 'Earl striking something off his list' can only sustain a show for so long so it's interesting what season two will bring to the plate (please say more guest star action from Giovanni Ribisi). But then again CSI spawned two other installments with their 'gross crime, quick! Crime scene investigators to the batmobile!' formula so MNiE could be around for much much longer.
Pros: The cast. They all work together and bring this irresistable energy to the show that makes you keep tuning in for more. And "oh, snap!" is probably the catchword of 2006.
Cons: What happens when Earl runs out of things to fix in his little list? Or better yet, he runs out of money first? So these are not really cons but I just had to wonder.

- The Office: Season 3 (NBC)
I haven't followed this since season 1, but watching the snippets of the story of Pam and Jim on YouTube made me fall in line with the Jam shippers. Personally it's all about them man. And Dwight. All about the Dwight, man. Steve Carell may have the obnoxious, unfunny boss down, but David Brent remains a legend to beat. According to the recaps I've read, season 3 started out with Jim moving to a new branch, Pam breaking off her engagement with her fiance and Steve Carell caught in between two women or something to that effect. Dammit, I need to catch up on this show. Too many downloads not enough memory space.
Pros: Jam = <3. style="font-weight: bold;">Cons: Jam = world's worst shipper name.

- Desperate Housewives: Season 3 (ABC).
Yeah. Right.
Pros: Who the hell cares besides my mum?
Cons: Having to see Teri Hatcher's face plastered in promotional advertisements that trickle down from the US media to Australia.

- Grey's Anatomy: Season 3 (ABC)
Although it's really just a soap opera in scrubs, it's got me, hook, line and sinker. Ad already discussed some of her thoughts on GA over at her blog (re: links) so there isn't much to say. Except this; Shonda Rimes is f-ing brilliant. We're still watching even though Mer is despised by pretty much everyone and Derek is the biggest douchebag this side of network TV. And their supposed to be the leads.
Pros: The return of the Nazi and Addison Sheppard. And here's hoping that Mer and Derek die a fiery death while making out in the furnace room of the hospital.
Cons: More Mer and Derek angst. So. Over. That.

- CSI: Oh god. Please not another season (CBS, I think)
No really. Why is this still successful??????
Pros: none
Cons: formulaic TV at it's pinnacle.

- Lost: ? (FOX)
I never quite caught up with the craze. Past season 1, episode 1, I stopped following it. But had I access to the series now, I would contemplate watching it. If only because Rodrigo Santoro of 'pretty boy Laura Linney was in love in Love Actually' fame is set to become a regular in it. Don't ask me how more people are being added to the cast on a series that is set in a supposed deserted, unfindable island. I'm still trying to work out how Matthew Fox kept his hair that buzz-cut length for two seasons plus and running.
Pros: Rodrigo Santoro
Cons: I hear it jumped the shark many moons ago. Oh JJ Abrams, you lost me at Alias season two.

- The OC: season 4? (FOX)
Mischa Barton was undoubtedly the weakest link in a series that stars Adam 'One Trick Pony' Brody and that never quite recaptured the glory days of season one. I haven't watched this show regularly since Death Cab played at The Bait Shop and I have very little idea about what's going on. Julie ended up with Summer's dad, I think, and Ryan is off the UC Berkeley or something equally prestigious. As is Summer? But Seth turned into a pot-smoking stoner and failed his admissions interview? Oh those crazy Orange County kids. I would watch this just to see if The OC post-Mischa 'Walking Stick' Barton is any better than the subpar series it was in season two and three.
Pros: No more "Pause. Raise eyebrows. Flip hair. Smile/Frown/Smirk/Cry" school of acting from Mischa Barton.
Cons: Having killed off the only cast member who was remotely anywhere the age of the character, Josh Schwartz is going to have a hard time selling Ben McKenzie as anything but 24 at the very least. And that's not counting the moments when Ryan Atwood is sure to relapse into his bad boy ways and spout a beard to boot.

- Smallville: ? (The CW)
Everyone is kind of over Kristin Kreuk's beauty so why is this still going?
Pros: IceTwin aka Aaron Ashmore is becoming a series regular.
Cons: Even he couldn't save the show that unbelievably outlasted Roswell.

- Gilmore Girls: Season 7 (The CW)
Has GG lost it's mojo now that the Palladinos have left? Everybody wants to know.
Pros: No more Logan Huntzberger. YESSSSSSSS! Marty the naked guy is set for a return as well.
Cons: Luke/Lorelai/Chris = oh my god, enough already. I love you Lorelai but stop falling back on Chris every damn time you're in need of someone to scratch your back.

- One Tree Hill: ? (The CW)
How these kids are not in college yet? I have no idea. Theirs is the 'teen' series with the highest age average when the age of the actors and actresses are calculated across the board.
Pros: Launching the career of Sophia Bush.
Cons: Sophia Bush making career choices like John Tucker Must Die.

- Supernatural: ? (The CW)
I only know that Danny Ducat (sp?) from GA plays the father of the two pretty boys so I'm tempted to give this show a shot.
Pros: The actor who played Danny Ducat, who is apparently going to be the lead in a new series by Shonda Rhimes.
Cons: The actor who played Danny Ducat playing a father to two early-twenties sons. Talk about a fantasy killjoy.

- Veronica Mars: Season 3 (The CW)
I want to be optimistic and hope that the pilot lite episode of episode one, season three will pull in the masses. Come on citizens of the US, do your bit for good TV shows and watch VM! But realistically, I have a feeling they won't live past the 13 episodes CW bought for this season. Pilot lite to me was only slightly above average. It definitely didn't have the bang of the original pilot. And I do not understand how Rob Thomas is going to work three mysteries into one season. I've thought about it too much and still can't work it out. But I'm brimming with faith. He hasn't disappoint yet and Michael Muhney and Francis Capra has yet to appear in season 3 so there is still hope to bank on. I'm honestly hoping that I'm proven wrong. Infact I hardly ever wanted to be proven wrong this badly. So yeah. Keeping the love (and LoVe) alive.
Pros: The new additions to the cast aren't completely annoying. And the remixed credits are so cool, and then some.
Cons: People don't like coming into a show when it's already in their third season. And networks don't like underperforming shows.

To end, here's a couple of reasons why you should watch Veronica Mars:
1. The lead is a hot, witty babe. Think Rory Gilmore with a million times more attitude and spunk if you will. Except Kristen Bell can act, whereas Alexis Bledel has and always been a student of the Mischa Barton school of acting.

2. The show has smarts and doesn't insult your intelligence with the stereotypical melodrama "will they or won't they? My parents suck ass and don't understand me" usually found in teen dramas.

3. If Lorelai and Rory Gilmore share the best mother/daughter relationship in the history, the Mars household owns the title of best father/daughter dynamics, which any teenage girl should know is harder to create.

4. Veronica's best friend of a different gender is not secretly harbouring a crush or in love with her. They prove the exception to the 'teenage girls and guys cannot be just friends'. Eat that every other teen show in the planet.

5. There are hot guys. Lots of hot guys. Like really smoking hot guys. Eg, the hottest law enforcer in the history of shows I have watched.

6. There are hot girls. Well, maybe not so much.. but they're smart hot girls.

7. Because if you can put up with yet another nonsensical tangent on Lost, I don't see why you should say no to a series that has many tangents, none of them nonsensical.

Don't be lazy. Get seasons one and two from me. Or download it. Or if you're in the US, tune in on Tuesday nights, right after Gilmore Girls on the CW. You won't regret it.

*It may sound like it but I was not actually paid by the CW to promote Veronica Mars. Just another fangirl in action. But oh, how I wish I was. There's heaps more where that came from.

Doop doop doop

1. 4 jobs I would stink at :
- Senior citizens carer. While I may like kids, I generally dislike old people. What can I say? Agist at heart.
- Accountant. Maths + me = disaster of epic proportions.
- Fashion consultant.
- Museum curator. "This is crap. Prehistoric crap. Modern crap. Absurdist crap. Crap crap crap."

2. 4 pretend nicknames I'm making up for myself:
- God
- Your Godliness
- Your supreme Godliness
- Your most regaled supreme Godliness

3. 4 movies I could watch over and over again without falling asleep:
To tell the truth, I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, regardless of whatever I'm doing or watching. Even if it's my most favourite show in the world. So this doesn't really apply to me. But just to fill up this list,
- Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels
- Dude, Where's My Car?
- Almost Famous
- Ghostbusters

4. 4 places I want to live in:
- A house/ Malaysia
- A converted warehouse/ Melbourne
- An apartment/ California
- A cottage/ Greek islands

5. 4 things I love to do during weekends:
- work
- yawn
- brush my hair
- pimp my ride

6. 4 things I couldn't live without:
- moisturizer
- oxygen
- water
- pop culture

7. 4 alcoholic beverages I've enjoyed:
- not Asian beer
- not Australian beer
- not Costa Rican beer (re: I hate beer)
- I lead the straight edge lifestyle. No smoking or drinking for me.

8. 4 favourite food:
- the edible kind
- without excessive colouring
- coloured potato chips are excluded of course
- as are fairy bread

9. 4 places I would rather be in right now:
- the year 1988
- the year 1990
- the year 1996
- the year 2017

10. 4 people I'm tagging:
- ze Chairman
- Mei Juin
- Soph
- Chen Chou. LOL.

Go crazy with the chiz-wiz, folks.

---


Just when all seemed lost...


Adeline strikes back!


And they say face painting are for kids.


Silly rabbit.. trix are for kids.

My friend called just only to squeal about his recent discovery of my age. I've known him close to a year now and all along he thought I was cruising at the age of 22. What the bleeping hell?! That's how old my sister was a year ago!

Why I hate birds, encore

Because besides the fact that they eye my food hungrily, savagely attack leftover food and fly into my head, they also have an uncanny way of aiming their droppings right at me. Some people go through life without a single bird dropping even within 5 kms of their aura let alone their physical being. As of now, 19 years and 9 months, I have had the good fortune of having bird droppings fall onto the back of my school uniform, the top of my head, my cheek, and as of today, my sweater. So when I tell you I'm afraid of birds, it's not just some attempt at quirky behaviour by way of Natalie Portman in Garden State. It's truly because I loathe them so and you know how it goes.. you hate the things you fear. Death to the obese chip-grabbing, shit-pooping seagulls and head-banging magpies of the world!

I suppose maybe the bird-dropping-on-my-sweater extragavanza was just another occasion in my run of bad luck today. I woke up late this morning, although that could be attributed to my laziness and inability to wake without snoozing the alarm. Also I lost my tram ticket at the Showgrounds. I thought I could test out the 'bird shit on you equals to good luck' theory and hop on the tram illegally to go home but when I turned the corner to the tram stop it became glaringly obvious that that theory was thought up by losers who have been shit on by birds their whole life (I'm about two droppings away from that prospect). What should I see but two tram ticket officers patiently waiting to pounce on the unaware passengers in the incoming tram. So this story ends with me walking 4 kms from the Showgrounds in Flemington to Grattan St, Carlton. It's not a particularly pleasing ending but it was that or a possible $150 fine, and I needed the exercise anyway.

Tomorrow I'm working 5.45am-12 pm at Macca's then 1-7pm at the Show again. I did that last Saturday and died many little deaths when my day was over. You just know I'm going to be a total work horse in the future.

Some things in this world that don't make sense: The success of Three and A Half Men. That show is as formulaic as bad sitcoms come. It's like CSI X a bajillion. See? It's that bad that the analogy needs to cross genres to get the point across.

Other things in this world that don't make sense: My Super Ex-Girlfriend scoring a 5.7 over Date Movie's 2.7 over at IMDb.

I am currently holding out for Incubus tickets. Who cares if they've only just released the US tourdates or that Light Grenades hasn't actually been released to the public yet? I am ready to spend whatever and beyond for their concert tickets, if and when they decide to do a world tour. Which they should logically, to support their new album. I think. Somehow in my mind this stream of logic makes complete and total sense. I have a feeling this is going to come back and mock me in my face. Like when they chose to perform in Malaysia WHEN I WASN'T THERE, and skipped out on Australia when I was here instead. Jesus 'can I get some action' Christ man.

Since Ad and I were talking the other day about how she regretted not going to see James Blunt in action when he was around and in light of a certain someone posting about the SD John Mayer concert, I've been inspired to write about bands/artistes that I really want to see. Like of the 'my life depends on watching them live' kind of desire. The usuals are a given.

- TV On the Radio
- Stereophonics
- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- The Futureheads
- The Go! Team
- Blink 182 (Obviously not happening anytime soon. Damn you Tom 'douchebag' DeLonge. Angels & Airwaves sucks massive ass.)

Yeap, that's about it. I feel like going for the John Mayer concert on Nov 1. But much like Dashboard Confessional, he's one of the artistes I end up laughing at after three songs. I don't doubt that they're good and rock the guitar like only a guitar god can. But the emoness of it all.. tee hee. Overly sincere songs absolute crack me up if you haven't noticed already.

Oh my god. I just found out the Borat movie is being released in Australia on the 23rd of November. You can bet your ass that you'll only see me in Malaysia on the 24th at the very earliest.

[/edit]

I just found out that Sin City 2 is opening on the the 30th of Nov. See you guys in December!

OMFG

Let it be known that had I ever made a crack at the Internet in the past, I take it all back. I love the Internet. Hell, I love technology. If it were human, I'd hit that. If it were an animal, I'd do as the Egyptians did and worship it. If it were peanut butter, I would spread it all over myself and dance in the rain in reverence for it.

Why the sudden change in attitude? Well, I just watched the premiere episode for Veronica Mars season 3. You can bet your bottom dollar that even knee-deep in human faeces, I'd still be sporting a huge ass goofy grin, the likes which will blow Goofy way out of the water. Gagging, but still grinning. That made no sense but who's really paying attention when the real point of the story is VERONICA MARS SEASON 3, EPISODE 1. But more importantly, me watching said episode of season 3 Veronica Mars. Before it premiered in the US, if I might add.

Fuck cleanliness. Live streaming Internet is next to godliness. On the other side of sits a certain Chairman. She f-ing rules.

The end.

Let's kill your broadband speed!

This is my attempt at photoblogging. Considering that I've got a digital camera now and I've taken over 400 shots to date (over the span of 3 months +), I figured I might as well put some up. These are mostly random shots taken at Melbourne Central, and the Royal Melbourne Show. Also, as a treat, there are three shots of me here, just because I know everyone loves a little slice of me. Henceforth shall the pictures overload begin!


Camera love!

This is my new phone, the Sony Ericsson k610i. It pretentiously refers to itself as a "videophone". I decided to upgrade my phone, and so after a year and a six months of sticking with my crappy LG U8120 phone, the fact that the person on the other line can hear me clearly now hasn't failed to astonish yet. I was actually deciding between the hot pink Motorola Razr v3x and this, and online reviews pretty much scared me off the v3x. Arrogance aside, the SE k610i is a nifty little bugger.

I also decided to exercise a little bit of class and get the white instead of the red model. If you're wondering why I didn't choose a clamshell style phone, note that while Justin Timberlake may be bringing sexy back, I'm bringing candybar phones back. Word to yo motha, dudes.

My new milk crate. Also useful as a stool, a bedside table, a ladder, a shelve and well, pretty much anything. Don't ask how I come across these things. They just end up in my path, honest.

Now all is right in the world again and I have two milk crates again. I think it's such a 'poor student' stocktype thing to own but as cliched as it may be, I sure as hell love mah milk crates.

Charmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Words cannot describe how truly jealous I am. Season 3 starts on Oct 3. Damn you people in the US with access to the CW!!! I have come to realize that maybe the reason why people are turned off the shows I like is because of my fervent fanatisicm. Hence, I figured I'll put up a post someday giving a right and proper synopsis and review of shows that I watch in the hopes that you'll give it a shot and grow to love it as well. That being said I have still to write up my post where I compare teen shows, Veronica Mars, One Tree Hill and The OC that are starting their new seasons soon in the US.

The rides at this year's Royal Melbourne Show are absolutely crazy. Partly because each of them costs 6 bucks a ride and also cause they all spin at crazy angles, twirl like it's the natural way for lifeforms to do, and move in speeds that shouldn't be allowed for rides that aren't roller coasters. This one was actually only little league compared to the others. Like the Sunway Lagoon ride you're strapped in and like a huge giant swing, you start swinging till you're hanging upside down. Funny that it's called 'Ali Baba' though. Can you imagine the amount of kids going, "Open sesame! Goddammit, I said open sesame! Let me the fuck off this ride!! Wahhhhhhh -wails cutoff by swooshing motion of the ride-!!!."

I actually thought, "Oh, the cleverness of me!" when I thought up this screencap within a screencap picture. Mostly I just wanted to show you guys my kickass wallpaper. The clouds just sell the whole idea so much better.

This ride, god, was vicious. This picture makes it look so innocent. Like a pretty flower or something to that effect.

This is a more accurate picture of what it's about. You're strapped in the ride, and it spins round and round. As if that's not bad enough, the whole ride twirls at various axis as well. I love roller coasters but rides that go upside down, then around, just don't quite hold the same appeal for me.

"Australia's fastest ride". I honestly do not doubt that for a second. You can't see it yet cause the shutter speed was set to fast.

With slower shutter speed the speed of the ride becomes more apparent. God, they're just one big blur. Why do people want to go round and round repeatedly at really fast speeds? I never quite understood how that selling point worked.

Yet another ride, the Mega Mix, that goes round and round. If you look closer, you'll note that the people strapped in are actually upside down. I swear, almost every ride at the Royal Melbourne Show had the same basic concept. Had quick spinning rides been outlawed, nothing would be left but the ferris wheel. Even so, the wheel was turning suspiciously fast at times. Huh.

Gael Garcia Bernal love! This guy is so hot he could make the act of churning butter seem sexy in ways that Justin Timberlake can't even begin to fathom. I want to watch The Science of Sleep so badly. Almost worse than my need to watch The Fountain.

The giant swing. At the left of the giant swing is the Ali Baba ride as stated above. On the right is the vicious pretty flower. This is something to go under the 'action shot' category.

The landscape of the park at night. It's actually quite pretty. But the crowd, hot damn. It was so dense in the morning that I had to literally push through a family of four to get to the face painting stall on time. At night isn't a whole lot better. I had to push through a crowd of teeny gothkid wannabes just to get to the exit.

I always liked the different geometric designs on the walls of the third level of Melbourne Central. It's a bit underexposed here, but I reckon the washed out yellow is nicer to look at then the white paint.

Should I ever find a permanent place to live in the future (that is not a house), let it be known that I want my apartments to have this Spanish-Miami-Beach looking design. It is so pretty. Taken at St Kilda.

People avoid alleyways because they're dodgy. Some of them are actually pretty damn interesting to look at.

There is something wrong with this picture no? It gives me a headache everytime I look at it.

Well, it's mostly because the above was flipped. This is one of the many many stalls available at the showgrounds. Unfortunately the big ass polar bears weren't quite as choice as the big ass My Little Pony soft toys. Big ass purple ponies are a dime a dozen at the Royal Melbourne Show.

Hands down, this is the coolest shot of me here. Personally, I think I look really cool here. And not the 'Karen-hamming-it-up-for-the-camera cool' either. Like scenekid levels of cool. Ah, the wonders of a shower.

While waiting for the pictures to load, this thought fleeted into the thresholds of my mind. I reckon the worst insult anyone could say barring all mother-related insults is this; "He/She is so unfortunate looking." How do you respond to that? "So's your face" remains the best reply to every single insult imaginable.

I absolutely love the lights at the third floor of Melbourne Central. Everytime I walk by there I always look above to look at them. Someday I'm going to find out who designed the architecture of the revamped Melbourne Central and write a fangirl note to him/her.

Caption #1: "Oh my god! Help! That big giant hand just grabbed my purse!!!"
Caption #2: "Talk to the hand dude. Just keep talking."

Personally I prefer number two but if you can come up with anything else, feel free to drop it in the comments page.

And finally, geek love! I've even got a bobby pin in my hair. Which is in braids. Too damn awesome.

Thanks for making it to this point. As your reward for sticking with me that long, let me direct you to everybody's favourite show's blooper reels. Here's some YouTube links for Friends blooper reel, in chronological order of my favourite characters.

In high school, Chandler Bing was my favourite friend. Then while rewatching past seasons in Trinity, I came to realise that Joey was pretty awesome as well. Finally in my first year of uni, I came to appreciate one of the biggest losers in TV history, Ross Gellar.

Matthew Perry is byfar the most talented comedian among the six. Enjoy.

Royal Melbourne Show '06

It's bigger, it's grander and it's back!

The Royal Melbourne Show Sept 21-Oct 1 '06

Most importantly, I'm there daily (almost), ever ready to paint your faces! I will bend over and risk backache just to get the perfect angle on your cheek, I will continuously push your head back to perfect the Spiderman face, I will.. what the hell am I saying? Three quarter of the people who read this blog aren't in Australia and the one quarter that do have left age three a millenium ago. Moving on then.

Best customer of the day: Liam, age 9 (+/- 1)
He could do a British accent, an Irish accent, an Australian accent, and an Elmo voice, hot damn! I wished my younger cousins were this cool.

In other pointless news, I have been fighting a sick sneaker fetish lately. Although I need these as much as Bill Gates needs an extra million, I can't stop but look, and look, and look, and stare, and drool. It's gotten to the point where I pass by shoe shops and have to take a look in the window display. So, for no apparent reason except to quell this burning desire, I would like to own a pair of Vans Slip Ons, a pair of Onitsuka Tigers, a red Converse classic, and a watermelon pink Converse classic. And in the same vein, I would also like to own a pair of black MaryJanes, ideally Camper. I told you it was sick.

Oh goddammit! I just found the Vans Custom Shoe Builder feature on their website. I knew I should have done something about my lack of a credit card sooner.

Classic Karen Moment no #149

I woke up late for work today and as a result left home in a blind hurry. Two steps out of my room and I turn right back in to grab my forgotten housekeys. After trashing my room the second time round and still failing to uncover the keys, I figured I'd take a chance and hope that someone would be home to let me in when I got back.

As luck would have it no one is home when I get back. What entails is a forty minute pizza-eating, newpaper-reading lunch at the stairwell hoping that one of two things come forth; that 1) one of my housemates wasn't actually out but asleep and 2) my previous attempt at picking at a locked door wasn't a fluke. After very bruised knuckles and finding two hairpins with bubble ends, it becames glaringly obvious that Lady Luck had declared a fatwa against me today, so I head to the library; figured I'd borrow a movie and watch it there to kill time. Midway into eXistenZe, right at the point where my headache has imploded into a migraine, I take a gulp of water from my bottle and when I move to put the bottle back into my bag, what should I find but those damn housekeys.

I'm one of a kind, and you know it.

Anyways, onto moments that do not include total and utter idiocy, here is what I imagine a geek's attempt at trash talking, as found on one of the eXistenZe threads, "Why dont' u just stick to the Matrix, or better yet Revenge of the Sith." Subject matter was defending the the movie and David Cronenberg. Too hilarious.

Stupid Apple.

And by that I don't mean the spawn of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. I'm actually talking about Steve Jobs' Apple. Not his Adam's Apple, but his other Apple. The company, Apple. Ya dig? Oh Karen, here's a dead horse. Flogging it much?

After my iTunes version 4 ceased to work anymore last week, I caved and downloaded the most recent version, #6. Then a couple of days ago, Steve Jobs unveiled version 7. So, while I had that one fleeting moment of being in touch with new-fangled software techonology, that pleasure has been viciously ripped away from me to be replaced with a "iTunes version 7.0 is now available. Would you like to download it?" or a similar-themed pop-up whenever I open my iTunes. Damn you bad timing + Steve Jobs.

Among other things introduced during the Apple press conference is the latest version of the iPod Shuffle. On a completely irrelevant tangent, I am suddenly reminded of Derek Zoolander's mobile phone.

I will stop posting links in a bit. It's just with the usual burden of writing up essays, comes the onslaught of fascinating webpages that have the habit of being found when time really need not be idled away.

(I know I'm really pushing it but..)

In other news, the MPAA has taken legal action against Chinese pirates. MPAA = Motion Picture Association of America, to the clueless. Talk about losing a war before the fight even begun. Frank Rittman, an MPAA lawyer says

"buying pirated movies hurts the industry and makes it difficult for movie makers to make new films."

So many flaws with that statement, oh, where to begin.
1) The amount of hurt piracy does to the industry is miniscule when advertising and licensing for a film is taken into consideration. Plus everyone knows the money comes in through merchandising anyway, re: Star Wars.

2) Budget is just one small problem film makers have to face. The biggest being getting the attention of the movie executives to begin with.

3) Movie execs enjoy banking on the familiarity of old school movie makers that have helmed production in the past. Inexperience equals no go in Hollywood, which is totally unfair because people like Brett Ratner undeservedly gets the spotlight where else the Matthew Vaughns and Rian Johnsons of the world lurk in the background.

4) If by 'new films' you mean remakes and sequels.. then say it with me folks, viva la piracy!

---

To end, I would like to say Ad, I've seen the trailer for The Departed three times, and maybe it's the essay galore I'm in the midst of right now, but I don't get it. Like somewhere, somehow it should make sense, but it doesn't. I think my brain is physically incapable of seeing someone else in Tony Leung's role. I did notice the gratuitious sex scene though.. good on ya, Scorsese, cause everyone knows that sex plays such a vital role in the plot of the movie!

Lest you hear it elsewhere

Oxymoron of the 21st Century: Silent ringtones.

Honest to God, I'll stop blogging about stupid things people come up with when stupid people stop coming up with things.

This just made my month.

Riddle me this, Riddle me that

When did photoshopped pictures become the only type of pictures available for public posting on a blog/site? I understand that everybody wants to project a certain degree of flawlessness, whether subject to the Magic Wand of the Twentieh Century(tm)- the Airbrush, but when exactly did it reach this height of madness?

As a person who has had ezcema her whole life, I will admit to wanting to alter pictures of me on occasion. As if sores and blotchy skin weren't bad enough, having ezcema doesn't give you an out from the occasional breakout, and what with the penchant for zits appearing in the middle of my forehead, I should realistically be a hardcore Photoshop advocate. But I'm not mostly because I lack any forseeable Photoshop-ing skills, but that's besides the point honestly.

The point is that in less than three weeks I've been lambasted twice for supposedly putting up less than flattering pictures of friends, and I'm starting to wonder if there's a trend here. The pictures I chose weren't retarded, or shot at a bad angle, or badly litted, or badly framed or overexposed or underexposed or etc. In fact, they were just plain un-Photoshopped pictures of two of my best mates. Which begs the question: would I have had a different reaction had I airbrush/Photoshop them to oblivion?

Maybe it's because there has never been a more celebrity-obsessed era than now in the era of the New Millenium. We objectify celebrities who are portrayed as flawless goddesses on magazine covers and websites and strive to achieve that level of perfection. Together with the fact that access to technology has never been more democratic, the means to alter our digital image has never been easier. Maybe that explains the Photoshop craze that has befallen the public blog sphere.

Or maybe, just maybe, over the years people have lost the ability to love themselves. Everybody wants to be glamourous and perfect to the point where pictures lack any semblance of humanity. Replace the gorgeous Photoshopped people with mannequins and the content remains the same. And while I might be overstating the significance of pictures in the grand scheme of life, to me they represent a snapshot of you at a certain point in your life. Whether that is the gawky years of puberty or the acne-infested years of teenage life, the picture is proof that you existed there and then- sort of the metamorphorsis you went through before you ended up where you are now. And if every single one of the picture was Photoshopped to cover your flaws, then it isn't quite a celebration of your life's journey, is it?

I have too much assignments and not enough time to go further in detail. Suffice to say that I caved again and took down the picture as per my friend's request. I'm not entirely happy with my final decision but I figured to be fair I'll wipe the slate clean and remove all previous pictures that contained any friends in them. The backlash is just. too. effing. annoying.

To The 'Meroxing' Chit

I know I'm about 48 hours late but hell, I figured even when you're 20 years and 2 days old it's still an occasion to celebrate the day of your birth.

And no, that is not a lame excuse for me not posting this up earlier.

Besides, if the postal service worked the way it should, you should have received the real thing by Wednesday at least.

In the words of Jack Twist, "I wish I knew how to quit.. ribbing you all the damn time". You are the last of a dying breed, a breed that still reacts to my inane actions and words. Live. Live on, my fairweathered friend. Should you die, be like the phoenix and rise again to glorious life.

Was that laying it on too thick? I think at some point even that analogy ran away from me. Oh hell. HaPpY tWeNTiEtH BuRfdAyYyYy (LiKe oH mY gOsHnEsSsSsS).

Seriously. How annoying is it when people type like that?